


The Bar

by NotFrozenOnFire



Category: Quindom - Fandom, Tegan and Sara (Band), quincest - Fandom
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-26
Updated: 2015-07-28
Packaged: 2018-04-11 06:41:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 40
Words: 90,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4425293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotFrozenOnFire/pseuds/NotFrozenOnFire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tegan Quin is a struggling musician who meets a pretty girl at her favorite bar</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Bar

Tegan walked through the door of her favorite gay bar, Hap, owned and managed by her best friend Ted. Even though he was straight he had decided to open up his business as a gay bar to the sheer quantity of gay and lesbian friends he had. Tegan always thought that was a pretty cool thing of him to do, plus he actually paid her to perform on Fridays and Saturdays. She was a struggling musician. With only a few thousand fans in all of Canada she didn't do many concerts. It was mostly coffee shops, bars, and then she's release a few songs when she really needed the money. But Ted always begged her to play at his bar, and he overpaid her. Sure, most people would say picking up four hundred dollars on the weekends wasn't much, but Tegan knew it was more than she deserved. She only had a handful of fans in the Vancouver area, and usually only a few showed up a night, so she wasn't really giving any business back to Ted. He never really seemed to mind though. He always raved about her show every night she played and then would ask if he could do anything else for her, as if she deserved more from him. Tegan shook her head and walked up to the bar, she needed a drink before going over to the small platform with her old acoustic guitar.

"Hey Ted!" She smiled and waved across the bar.

"Tegan!" He smiled back, "I'm glad you're here. I've missed your music."

"I was here last night Ted." She rolled her eyes and under her breath added, "No one misses my music."

"What do you want Tegan? Whiskey? Beer? Tequila?"

"Beer please, I don't need to start doing shots till I'm done with the show." He reached under the bar for a glass and filled it up with Labbatts. It wasn't the heaviest beer or the lightest, it had the balance Tegan needed for the show though. "Thanks Ted."

"Yeah, You're on in ten. I've got to go teach the new girl a few bartending tricks." He turned to walk away.

"New girl?" Tegan loved when new people came in, she always hoped it would be someone she could be fast friends with. She could never have enough friends, and she only had a few. So the more the merrier.

"Yeah, she started on Thursday." He pointed to a small young woman at the other end of the bar, "Her name's Sara Clement."

"I'll have to meet her after my show." She smiled at Ted, "Time to make sure I'm ready and in tune." She grabbed her beer and walked to the little curtained off section behind the stage and pulled out her guitar to tune it.

Before she knew it Ted's voice was booming through the speakers announcing that Tegan was about to start. There was a pretty good smattering of applause, maybe some of the regulars were starting like her stuff, or maybe they just wanted her to feel like she had support in the bar.

She walked up to the stool and sat in front of the microphone, "Hey everybody, I'm Tegan Quin, and I'll be playing a few songs for you tonight. But first, let's give Ted a round of applause for running such an awesome bar." Everybody clapped and some whistled cat call at him. He barely bowed his head in acknowledgment and raised his hand just over his head. The cheering died down and Tegan got ready to start playing when she heard someone shout out.

"Play 'Living Room'." It wasn't a voice Tegan knew, so it wasn't a regular or one of her handful of fans that were there tonight.

"Uh…" She nervously scanned the faces around the building, but half of them were looking for the speaker as well.

"Please? It's my favorite." That's when she spotted the girl behind the counter.

So that's what her face looks like. I like it. "Um, Okay. Sure, why not." She couldn't help but smile and butterflies rushed into her stomach. But she played the song and it went pretty well. After she finished she actually got a pretty good applause, the loudest cheerer being Sara from behind the bar.

"Hi," She smiled towards Sara, "We haven't met. What's your name."

Sara blushed just slightly before responding, "Sara."

"I didn't know I had any other fans in this area."

"I just moved from Montreal."

"Ah, I do have a pretty decent following there." Tegan's smile widened, "Hey Ted, thanks for hiring a fan!"

Ted just turned and gave her a thumbs up before getting back to washing a shot glass.

"Any more requests?" Tegan asked to no one in particular.

"My Number." A fan Tegan had seen several times before at the bar said from a chair a few feet from the platform.

"Okay Emy, but if you suggest it every night people will get sick of it." Emy just smiled back and shrugged.

The rest of the show went really well, and Tegan had never felt more like a celebrity. Even one of the bar regulars requested a song. She was shocked, she thought that the people at the bar didn't even pay attention when she sang.

"You absolutely killed it Tegan!" Ted gave her a huge 'big brother' hug and lifted her off the ground.

"Thanks Ted. Now please put me down." She smiled at him.

"Sorry about that," He laughed nervously, "I guess I got a little carried away over little Miss Celebrity."

Tegan rolled her eyes and asked for a whiskey and coke.

"So you don't need anything strong tonight?" He raised one eyebrow at her.

"Nope," She shook her head, "I feel good enough to stay sober."

"That's great." He then turned quickly to help out a customer who was getting impatient.

"Hi." Tegan heard a small voice from somewhere to her left. It was Sara standing just on the other side of the counter.

"Hey." Tegan flashed her a half grin, "It's always nice to meet a new fan."

"I'm not a new fan," Sara put her hands on her hips, "I've even been to one of your shows."

"You mean the show I did a few months ago in Montreal?"

"Yeah, I wanted to meet you then, but you didn't stay long afterword." Sara looked at her shoes as she talked.

"Yeah, it wasn't my best show," She apologized, "I got in a fight backstage with one of the crew and they threw me out five minutes after my show ended."

"Oh," Sara's interest had peeked, "Why'd you get into a fight?"

"He was mean, so I punched him." Tegan gave a half shrug as if to say she didn't really know why she had hit him.

"Wow, I never thought you were actually a fighter."

"What do you mean?"

"Well," Sara began as she rested her elbow on the countertop inches away from where Tegan's arm rested, "You have tattoos and you are obviously muscular," She paused briefly as she checked Tegan's arms out, "But I always assumed it was more of a look than an attitude."

"It is. I just have some anger issues and get in fights periodically. The tattoos are unrelated though." She smiled at the beautiful face across from her.

"Oh. You inspired me to get tattoos." Sara smiled weakly and looked embarrassed.

"Really?" Tegan was intrigued, "Can I see some of them?"

"Sure." Sara rolled up the sleeves of her dark button up. "They aren't much."

"Wow…" Tegan looked over the tattoos, then noticed that Sara had some muscles of her own, and then she moved her eyes up to her neck, it looked made for kissing, and then Sara's angular jawline that Tegan had to fight against her desperate want to lick it. Finally she came to her eyes, beautiful brown eyes. Tegan blushed and quickly mumbled, "I like your tattoos."

Sara blushed as well, "Thanks." She didn't know why, but she was acting like she was eighteen again. Blushing over a simple little compliment; well that and the fact that Tegan had looked into her eyes made Sara a little nervous. "They're nowhere near as badass as yours though."

"Chyeah, of course mine are more badass." Tegan put on a mock confident face.

Sara giggled and quickly hid her face from the musician. To be honest, she was a little star struck, even though Tegan wasn't a real celebrity, she was Sara's favorite singer. She had never imagined when she moved to Vancouver to get away from the family she didn't get along with that she'd end up getting a job at the bar Tegan Quin played at every weekend. She looked back up at Tegan, "Do you need another drink?"

"No thanks." Tegan smiled at her.

"It's on me."

"I don't really feel like drinking more tonight," Tegan noticed the disappointment in Sara's face, "But I'm up for coffee tomorrow morning."

Sara just stood there in shock. Tegan had just asked her to coffee. Tegan, she was asked out on a coffee date, by Tegan Quin. "Okay." She mumbled still reeling from the shock.

"Give me your phone and I'll put my info in it." Tegan reached her hand out.

"Here." Sara slowly pulled her phone out and handed it to Tegan. Tegan quickly put her number in and then handed the phone back.

"I'll see you tomorrow." She smiled at Sara, "By Ted!" She shouted and waved over her shoulder, he looked up and waved back.

Sara spent the rest of her shift in shock. And rightfully so, she had absolutely never thought that someone like Tegan would ask her out.


	2. The Coffee Shop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tegan Quin has coffee with the cute Sara Clement

Tegan woke up the next morning to her alarm. It was too early to go get coffee with Sara, so she took a shower and got dressed. She decided to go with slim fitting jeans and a plaid button up, and to look more casual she rolled up the sleeves and threw on a three-quarter sleeve jean jacket. She looked in the mirror and was satisfied with the look. So she sent Sara a text to find out when she'd want to go get coffee.

T: Hey, it's Tegan. When do you want to go out? I was thinking 9:30

S: That sounds fine. Where do you wanna go?

T: A little shop called Bold Brews. Do you know it?

S: Yeah, it's only a couple blocks away...I think I'll walk. Unless you wanted to pick me up?

T: No, it's right under my building, so walking's fine.

Tegan took the elevator down to ground floor and walked out front to the corner cafe. She enjoyed spending her time writing songs in the little coffee shop. Plus, the manager had a crush on her and gave her discounts whenever she was working. So she definitely didn't feel like it was a waste of money to go buy a latte every couple of days.

She walked through the door, stood in the back of the line, and pulled out her phone to check her facebook. She had a message from Ted asking if she got anywhere with Sara last night. She chuckled and then sent him a reply explaining what was up.

"Next." Tegan looked up to the pretty face that was smiling at her, "Hey Tegan."

"Hi Lindsey," Tegan smiled back at the manager, "I'd like a scone."

"No coffee?" Lindsey looked a bit puzzled.

"Not yet. Someone is meeting me here, so I'll wait till she arrives to get my coffee."

"Ooh..." Lindsey's right eyebrow raised, "You have a date, huh?"

"I mean, I guess it's a date." Tegan shrugged, "It's just coffee though. I met her last night down at The Hap."

"How was your show?" Lindsey asked as she handed Tegan a scone.

"It went well. Best show I've had in Vancouver." Tegan reached to her left front pocket for her wallet.

"It's on the house honey." Lindsey motioned for her to keep the wallet in her pocket, "I hope your date goes well."

"Thanks!" Tegan smiled at Lindsey before turning to find her favorite spot in the corner next to the take away counter. It was her favorite because it was two arm chairs next to a small mahogany table.

She had just finished the scone when she looked up from the newspaper she had been glancing at, the man before her left it on the table, and she saw Sara walk into the shop. Tegan looked her up and down, taking in the pure beauty that was Sara Clement.

"Over here." She waved to get Sara's attention.

Sara waved back but stopped at the line, forcing Tegan to leave her comfortable arm chair and get into line beside Sara.

"Just to warn you, Lindsey might gush over you when we order."

"Who's Lindsey?" Sara looked quizzical and a bit nervous.

"She's the manager." Tegan tilted her head toward her while she smiled and took an order from a kind elderly gentleman.

"Is she a friend...girlfriend?" Sara asked hoping it was the first option and not the second.

"She's just a friend." Tegan chuckled knowing what must have been going through Sara's head, "Although she wishes whe were my girlfriend."

"Oh," Sara discreetly checked Lindsey out, "Should I be jealous then?"

"Just play it cool," Tegan and Sara were now second in line, "Nothing to be jealous about."

"Well hello again!" Lindsey had the biggest smile on her face, "I see you're cheating on me again."

Sara looked down at her shoes and started to shift her body toward the door.

"I'm only joking sweety." Lindsey gave Sara an apologetic smile.

"Come on Linds, be nice." Tegan chuckled and ordered a latte.

"I'm Lindsey by the way." She offered her hand to Sara.

"Sara." Sara said meekly and shook Lindsey's hand.

"What would you like?"

"A twelve ounce drip please." Sara decided to keep it simple, she loved having drip coffee in the morning, and she didn't want to by some expensive espresso drink.

"That'll be a dollar fifty." Lindsey said as the total popped up on the register.

"I'll pay." Tegan pulled out two bucks.

"Thanks." Sara smiled at Tegan.

"Okay Tegan, that'll be a dollar..." Tegan shot a look at Lindsey, "fifty."

Tegan paid and, after they got their coffee, lead Sara to the comfy chairs in the corner.

"This is a nice place." Sara said as she sipped her coffee.

"Yeah, it's always quite too." Tegan smiled as she took a drink of her latte, "Everybody goes to the Horton's around the block."

"I like quite coffee shops. They're a lot better to wake up to than a busy loud shop." Sara looked around, taking in the dim litted folksy feel of the coffee shop. She was surprised that anything could feel so calm in a city like Vancouver.

"Yeah, this is where I come to write my music." Tegan offered up this peace of information knowing that Sara was a fan of her music, and hoping it would Sara happy knowing she was sitting where her favorite songs were written.

"Really?" Sara looked at Tegan, "That explain the feel and style of your music then."

"Yeah," Tegan looked around, "It is the perfect place to write from my heart. This place sort of naturally draws it our of me."

"It's making me want to write songs," Sara took another look around, enamored now by the calming and inspiring feel that the shop had, "And I haven't written a song in years."

Tegan's eyes lit up, "You write songs?"

"Yeah, but they aren't anything like yours." Tegan blushed slightly at the compliment, "Plus I haven't written in so long I wont be able to write anything good anymore."

"I doubt that." Tegan smiled confidently, "I bet you are one of the best songwriters out there, but you just need someone to give you a little guidance."

Sara looked down at her coffee, "Thanks." She said weakly and then took a sip.

"Plus, with your looks, you could be the worst song writer and no one would care." Sara blushed and then looked over at Tegan who was biting her lower lip, nervous about the reaction she'd get.

"What's your excuse?"

Tegan was confused, "Huh?"

"If that's all it takes you should be a superstar."

"Right." Tegan said half rolling her eyes.

"I'm serious." Sara grabbed Tegan's hand, "You're beautiful Tegan."

"But I'm not beautiful." Tegan choked back a tear, "No one ever calls me beautiful."

"You are though." Sara rubbed her thumb on the back of tegan's hand. Then she pulled Tegan's head up by her chin, "You are the prettiest girl I've ever met. When my friend introduced me to your music I only listened because of how beautiful you looked on the cover of your EP."

"Really?" Tegan's face lit up.

"Really," Sara looked at Tegan with a stern expression, "So don't go around saying you aren't beautiful."

"Okay."

"Promise?" Sara asked, searching for eye contact.

Their eyes met and Tegan felt confident again, "I promise." She reached out and touched Sara's jaw. After a couple of seconds she pulled away.

"Good." Sara tried to stay calm, even though inside she was reeling from Tegan touching her face.

Before she could stop herself Tegan leaned across the small table and kissed her cheek. Then she quickly stood up and walked away, fighting against the emotion that was building up in her.

"What just happened?" Lindsey sounded a bit concerned.

"I just told her she was beautiful." Sara was a still in shock from Tegan's drastic reaction.

"Oh..." Lindsey's face went from concerned to completely serious, "She needed that Sara. She hasn't had the most loving people in her life. I don't think anyone's ever called her beautiful." She paused before adding, "At least not to her face."

"She said no one had. Do you know why?" Sara searched Lindsey's face, desperate to know why no one had ever told such and attractive person they were beautiful.

"I do, but She'll have to tell you when she's ready."

Sara's phone buzzed. "Okay, hopefully I'll see you around."

"Yeah."

Sara checked the text message, it was from Tegan.

T: I'm sorry I left in such a hurry.

S: It's okay.

T: Good. Because I was wondering what you were doing tomorrow night?

S: Seeing you again I hope.

T: Dinner and a movie?

S: Sounds good.

T: How's 7 sound?

S: 7's fine

T: See you then! :)

S: Yeah, see you then :)


	3. The Restaurant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tegan nervously prepares for her real date with Sara

Tegan paced back and forth in front of her bed. She had clothes strewn all over the floor and bed. At a complete loss for what to where, she had pulled out all the clothes she owned and still couldn't find anything she thought was acceptable where to and Italian resaurant. Finally Tegan made up her mind, she'd call Ted and have him do the deciding for her.

"Hello?" Ted's cheery voice came from the other end.

"I need your help Ted." Tegan hoped he wasn't too busy to stop by her studio apartment.

"What with?" She could hear the hesitation in his voice.

"I don't know what to wear!" Tegan realized just how desperate and nervous she sounded.

"Well," Ted paused for a moment in thought, "It's alway good to stick with wearing actual clothes."

Tegan heard Ted chuckle, "It's not funny Ted!" She scolded while smiling, "Can you come over and help me?"

"Sure thing. I'll be there in five."

Thank God! Tegan thought to herself and quickly pulled a long plain gray t shirt on; she didn't want Ted to walk in on her in just her bra and underwear, she wasn't that comfortable around him. She then put all the clothes that were too casual back in her dresser. Leaving a slew of button ups, nice sweaters, 'cute' pants, a couple of skirts, and even her one dress. A dress she had only worn once, to her cousin's wedding. He better say no to wearing a dress. I can't be girly on the first date.

There was a knock on the door and Tegan quickly opened it and gave Ted a hug.

"Alright, what are your options?" Ted asked as he sat down on the couch, it was actually an old battered loveseat, but It was enough of a couch for someone with as few friends as Tegan had.

"All the stuff covering my bed." Tegan gestured to the mess of clothes completely covering her bed.

"No dress." Ted said as soon as he saw the black strapless laying on the end of the bed.

"I was hoping you'd say that." Tegan let out a sigh and hugged him.

"Well, chances are sara will wear something a little girly, at least judging by the way she dresses to work."

"Doesn't she just wear all black?" Tegan raised an eyebrow at Ted.

"Well yes, but she always shows up wearing heals and then changes to flats. Plus, she wears necklaces and bracelets and rings."

"So basically I should just wear my basic nice clothes?"

Ted nodded and got up of the couch. He rummaged throught the clothes on the bed. He grabbed a purple button up, looked it over, and then tossed it aside. He then found a dark burgundy button up. He walked over to Tegan, held it up in front of her to test how it would look, then nodded in approval and hung it on the doorknob.

"Really?" Tegan looked over at the shirt, "Are you sure that's not too colorful."

"Tegan," Ted chuckled, "Burgundy is not colorful. It's dark, mysterious, and definitely a handsome color on you."

Ted always knows what to say. "Thanks Ted."

"Mhm..." He muttered back, while looking through more of Tegan's clothes. He grabbed a pair of black skinny jeans and tossed them at her, "Do you have a blazer?"

"Yeah." Tegan nodded and grabbed the jeans, quickly pulling them on.

"Where a blazer, and a black tie," He looked Tegan and her outfit over once, "Loosely. Go for messely nice and ruggedly handsome."

"I don't have a black tie." Tegan answered and looked at her feet dejected.

"I have several." Ted reassured her, "One of which I've had since junior high, it's way to small for me, so you can keep it if you like it."

"Thanks Ted!" Tegan gave him a huge hug.

"Alright I'm going to my house and grabbing it, get dressed." Ted stopped at the door, "And where your black chucks, the all black chucks." He then walked out the door.

Tegan got dressed and looked at her full body mirror. The outfit looked good, the button up hugged her body just the right amount, and with the blazer unbuttoned it did make her look a little dashing. Ted's right, a tie will look perfect with this.

Sara getting ready:

Sara's room, unbeknownst to her, was in the same state Tegan's had been in fifteen minutes ago. She had know clue how Tegan liked her dates to dress, and Sara had to dress exactly how Tegan wanted. She starting trying out different combinations of shirts, pants, skirts, leggings, cardigans, and the like. Nothing seamed quite right. Then there was a knock on the door. She rushed to open it.

"Lindsey you did come."

"You said you needed help, and you live two minutes away. Why wouldn't I come and help out?" Lindsey then hugged her new friend and immediately starting looking at the collection of clothes all around the room. She grabbed a brown leather jacket and held it out to Sara, "Tegan likes leather."

"Thanks."

Then Lindsey grabbed a loose fitting designer shirt. She held it up to the leather jacket and was shirt had thick gray and white stripes and worked nicely with the jacket. "Where these and a pair of dark leggings. And high will drive her just a little crazy."

"Wow, thanks so much Lindsey!" Sara hugged her, "How do you know it drives her crazy?"

"Well," Lindsey smiled and then continued, "The only times she's ever taken anyone home from The Hap they were wearing heals. So she must like them."

"Or it's just coincidental."

"I prefer the whole heel fetish thing more though." Lindsey laughed at the immediate redness creeping over Sara's face. "What? Do you not like the idea of her having a fetish?"

"No, it's not that." Sara said an then bit her lip, "I just don't like the word. It sounds dirty."

"Really?" Lindsey's eyes bugged, "You think it sounds...dirty? What about the word sex? Is that dirty too?"

"Oh shut up." Sara hit Lindsey's should playfully and cracked a smile.

"It's six...You should get ready." Lindsey hugged her goodbye and walked to the door, "Let me know how it goes. Okay?"

"Okay." Sara wasted no time getting dressed after Lindsey left, she then went into her bathroom to put on some makeup. A light application of eyeshadow, foundation, light blush, and a very subtley peach colored coat of lip gloss. She smiled at her reflection in the mirror. Then the butterflies hit.

Ten minutes later Tegan knocked on Sara's door. She heard feet scuffling on the other said and held her breath as the handle turned. When the door opened she let out her breath, and felt her jaw drop.

"Hey." Tegan said softly, a little surprised any sound come out.

"Hey!" Sara gave her a huge smile. "Are you ready to go?"

Tegan nodded her head, unable to find any words. Sara offered her hand and Tegan took it, leading her to the elevator. Oh God! She looks absolutely perfect! The leather, those pants, and those shoes! It's like she knew exactly what I wanted!

Sara and Tegan walked from the elevator to the car, Tegan opened the passenger door to her late 90's Sedan. After she started the car and pulled away Sara looked over to study her date. That shirt looks so good on her. The color is perfect. And the way it fits her is incredible. I wish I could rip that blazer off though, it's in the way. Blocking my otherwise perfect view. She chuckled at how much she was thinking like a teenage guy.

"What?" Tegan asked glancing over at Sara briefly.

"Oh nothing," Sara replied, "Maybe I'll tell you some other time." LIke when I finally can take that blazer off of you. Then she noticed the loose tie. That tie looks perfect for pulling her in to a kiss. If tonight goes well enough I should definitely do that. She chuckled again, a little louder this time.

"Now what?" Tegan asked, just a bit concerned.

"I just like your outfit, that's all." Sara bit her lip as she looked at the tie again.

"Thanks." Tegan blushed slightly, "I like yours too. It's sexy."

Now it was Sara's turn to blush, "Really? It's...sexy?" Sara asked thinking back to what Lindsey said about Tegan and heels.

"Yeah, the jacket looks really good on you. And so do the..." Tegan trailed off into a mumble not wanting to admit she had been focusing on Sara's feet on the elevator ride.

"Thank you. A friend recomended it actually." Sara couldn't help but think that Tegan was about to comment on the shoes before she had started mumbling.

"Lindsey!" Tegan almost shouted.

"What? What about her."

"That's why you're dressed exactly the way I like. You had Lindsey help you."

"Is that a bad thing?" Sara started to get nervous again.

"Not at all!" Tegan quickly assured her, "I'm glad she's picked up on what I like over the years."

"Oh, that's good." Sara smiled in relief, "I have a question for you."

"What is it?"

"Did you some how get one of my friends from Montreal to pick out your clothes for you?"

Tegan laughed and then quickly said, "No, no. It was Ted, I didn't realized how good he was with people's taste. But then again, he works at a bar and always knows when two people are gonna hook up. So it must just be something naturally in him."

"I'll need to thank him tomorrow." Sara said under her breath.

"We're here." Tegan announced as they pulled up in front of a little Italian Restaurant called 'Maria and Tony's House of Pasta'.

They walked in and An elderly Italian man in his early sixties greated Tegan with a huge smile and a hug. "Nonno!" Tegan had a huge smile on her face and hugged him tightly.

"Maria!" The man called out with his somewhat thick Italian accent, "Our little nipote Tegan is here."

Sara leaned in and whispered to Tegan, "You know these people?"

Tegan chuckled in response, "Nonno, I'd like you to meet my date, Sara."

"Si guarda bella!" He smiled at Sara and held out his arms for a hug.

"He said you look beautiful." Tegan prompted Sara to hug him.

"I still don't know what a nonno is though."

"He's my Grandpa." Tegan smiled, "I'm half Italian. These are my mamma's genitori...parents." Tegan laughed, "Whenever I'm around family I start speaking Italian."

"It's kinda cute." Sara laughed as Tegan's 'Nonno' sat them in a secluded booth in the back of the small restaurant.

"Where's Nonna, Nonno?" Tegan asked looking around.

"She's in the back." He gestured towards the kitchen, "She's always lavorando sodo."

"It's good for her to work hard Nonno." Tegan squeezed his hand, "When she's done being so attivo have come say ciao. Okay?"

"It's a deal." The two of them shook hands, "I'll give you some time to decide bello." He said to Sara and then turned to Tegan, "Volete che il vostro abituale?"

"Si Nonno. Grazie mille." She smiled as he walked away.

"I don't like knowing what's being said." Sara said smirking.

"He asked if I wanted my usual. I said yes." Tegan smiled at Sara, she found it cute how lost Sara was around this foreign language.

"I could tell you said yes." She quickly scanned her menu, "What should I get? Since you obviously know what's good here."

"I always get chicken fettuccine. The shrimp fettuccine is good too. They have great lasagna."

"I'll get the shrimp." Sara smiled and set her menu down. "So, Were you born in Italy?"

"No, my Nonno and Nonna moved here when my mom was a little girl."

"Then how do you know Italian?"

"My mama and nonni always talked to each other in Italian. I learned it naturally." She finished with a shrug.

Sara was about to ask her more about her Italian background when she heard a loud scream of excitement coming from the kitchen. "La mia Nipotina e qui?"

Tegan smiled and stood up to walk over to her grandma. "Nonna! Mi dispiace che sia passato cosi tanto tempo!" (I'm sorry it's been so long)

"Ve bene, mi amo." They hugged and Tegan sat back down with Sara.

"This is my date, Sara, Nonna." Tegan's Nonna gave Sara a quick hug.

"Sei bella." She smiled at Sara.

"She wants shrimp fettuccine." Tegan smiled at her Nonna.

"E sulla casa!" She smiled at the two of them and walked back to the kitchen.

"All I understood was 'house'."

"Our meal is free." Tegan looked down, a bit ashamed of getting a hand out while she was on a date.

"That's great." Sara had a huge smile on her face, obviously not bothered by the fact like Tegan was.

"Yeah." Tegan smiled weakly.

They talked and ate their food for over an hour. Mostly talking about things like Tegan's grandparent, her music, and stuff like that. And Tegan asked about Sara's family. Sara skirted around all of Tegan's questions, giving vague answers like, "They're doing fine." Tegan got the hint and they talked of other things. Then after they finished eating They both thanked and hugged Tegan's Nonna and Nonno and walked to Tegan's car.

"Thank you so much for the wonderful night." Sara said as she walked toward the front door of her apartment building.

"Anytime." Tegan gave her a cocky smile.

"You should stop by The Hap tomorrow and hang out. My shift starts at six pm."

Tegan smiled, "Okay. I'll see you then. Tonight was amazing!" They hugged and when they pulled apart Tegan felt a tugging at the back of her neck. She looked back at Sara and realized she was pulling on her tie. She let herself relax and get pulled in to Sara's waiting lips. They kissed, and Tegan thought her heart would expload, it was so tender, so sweet, and so passionate. She pulled away, "I'll see you tomorrow night."

Sara raced into her apartment feeling like a giddy teenage girl for the first time in a long time. She smiled to herself and though about that kiss. And when she fell asleep it was in her dreams. They were all such good dreams. To Sara, they were a promise of a good tomorrow.


	4. Second Dates And Helpful Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sara is nervous about Tegan coming to visit her at work. Tegan decides to wear the tie again

Sara's laid out all of her acceptable work clothes on the bed. She only knew that she had to wear the heels again, because judging from Tegan's many glances at her feet Lindsey was right about Tegan's 'fetish'. Sara shuttered when thinking of the word, but she had to admit to herself that she had one too, so she didn't actually hate the word too much. She decided to call an old friend to calm her nerves.

"Hello?" A confused and tired voice answered.

"Hey Shaun."

"Sara? Is that you?" The confusion was prominent.

"Yes Shaun." She let out a chuckle, "It's Sara."

"It's been a long time. How've you been?"

Sara felt guilty when she thought about how long it had been. She hadn't seen him in two years, they hadn't talked in over a year. He had once been like a brother to her. Teasing her when she was nervous, comforting her when she was sad, and he was always by her side while her family struggled with her coming out to them. She missed him, but leaving Montreal made it hard to stay in contact.

"I've been doing good."

"That's good." There was an awkward pause, "Why are you calling me Sara? Is something wrong? Do you need help?"

She smiled at how ready he was to defend her, "Everythings fine Shaun. I just wanted to let you know that I've met someone."

"Oh? What's she like?"

"You remember that singer? Tegan Quin?" Of course he did, he had been to a show before Sara had ever even heard of Tegan.

"Yeah. Of course." She could hear his smile as he spoke.

"Well, she's a lot like her." She decided to hold out a bit just to tease him.

"In what way?" She didn't answer the question, "Does she look like her? Does she write music? Is she covored in tattooes?"

"Yes."

"To which one?"

"All of them!"

"That's awesome..." He trailed off as he realized the truth, "You met her? You met Tegan?"

"She performs at the bar I work at. And we went on a date last night." She smiled smuggly to herself.

"Did it go well?" He had that interested/protective older brother tone of voice.

"We kissed." Sara tried to act nonchalent hoping he couldn't hear her hold back a giggle.

"That's great! Congratulations! I'm glad you finally found a new girlfriend."

"Me too. Although, it's only been one date, so she's not my girlfriend yet." He started to reply but she cut him off, "Listen, I need some help."

"What can I help with? I'm across the country."

"Should I go for tight fitting and sexy? Or casual but confident?"

"How should I know? Do you know which she'd prefer?"

"She liked what I wore last night."

"And what did you wear?"

"Tight pants and a loose shirt."

"If she liked it, where that combo again. So, casual and sexy or tight fitting and confident."

She laughed and then said, "Sounds good, I'm gonna get ready for work, I'll call you again soon. I miss you."

"I miss you too Sara. You should come visit sometime."

"Sounds good." She said, but inside she knew she wasn't ready to go back to her hometown.

"Good. I'll talk to you later then."

"Yeah, bye Shaun." She smiled and hung up.

She decided to go with black skinny jeans, white button up, and a black leather jacket. She studied herself in the mirror and decided she needed to add something to it, she grabbed a dark burgundy tie and slung it loosely under her collar. Maybe ties work the same for her. She smirked at the thought and then walked out the door.

Tegan hastily threw on her skinny jeans and a clean t-shirt. She rummaged through her dresser for a casual looking button up. After failing to find one, she settled for a faded-red long sleeved t-shirt. She put her tie on and grabbed her blazer. The combination worked, but she decided to put on her black fedora. She tilted it so it sat back on her head. Perfect. She decided as she looked in the mirror. She hastily put on a pair of converse and left her apartment.

"Hey Sara." Ted greeted as Sara stepped behind the counter.

"Hey Ted." She fidgeted with her tie as she put her bag with an extra shirt in it (in case of spills) under the counter. Then she remembered, "Um...Ted?"

"Yeah?" He stepped closer so he could hear over the hum of conversation in the already crowded bar.

"Thanks." She smiled at him.

"For what?" He looked puzzled.

"For telling Tegan to wear a tie." She blushed and looked at her feet.

"No problem." He smiled back at her, "I see it's inspired you as well."

"I just want to see if she likes ties." Sara shrugged and got ready to serve the girl that walked up to the bar.

"I'll let you find out on your own." Ted winked and got back to taking orders from all the people who kept pooring in. They were always busiest right after opening.

"Hey girl." Sara heard a familiar voice and looked up. The girl who had walked up was Lindsey.

"Hi Lindsey." Sara smiled at her, "What can a get you?"

"Details." She said matter of factly, "How did it go last night?"

"It went well." Sara bit her bottom lip, "I kissed her."

"Oh?" Lindsey was intrigued and raised an eyebrow, "And she liked it?"

"Well, she's coming to hang out tonight," Sara responded, "So I think she did."

"That's good. Nice tie by the way."

"Thanks! I felt 'inspired' by Tegan's outfit last night."

"She wore a tie?" Lindsey's jaw dropped to the floor, "You lucky girl. I wish I could see her in a tie. She would look hot."

Sara laughed nervously, "Oh, she did."

"Well, I'd just like a beer." Lindsey said looking behind her, "My girlfriend is getting impatient. I'll see you when we leave though."

"Okay." Sara flashed her a smile and handed her a beer.

"Wow..." Sara heard an out of breath voice from off to her right.

She turned, "Hey Tegan." She bit her lip to stop her whimper from coming out. Oh God! She's wearing it again. I might just die!

"You look...you look good." Tegan stammered out the compliment and discreetly looked at the tie. Sara smirked as she followed Tegan's eyes.

"As do you." She tried to sound calm, but she wanted to reach out and grab that tie again.

"After what happened last night, I knew I had to wear this again." Tegan said and tugged on her tie.

"Yeah, I liked it so much I wore one too." She smiled and gestured toward her tie.

"I noticed." Tegan said eyeing it again...well, either she was eyeing the tie or Sara's chest, the lighting wasn't good enough for Sara to tell which it was, "It looks really good, and it's a nice color."

"Yeah? You like it?" Sara smiled again and looked over at Ted who just smiled and gave a not so innocent shrug. He knew she'd like it! How does he know everyone's taste?

"Yeah I like it." Tegan put on a cocky grin and grabbed Sara's loose hanging tie and pulled her across the counter just inches from her face, "It's kinda hot actually." She whispered to Sara.

Sara was getting flustered and nervous again. "Yours is too." She mumbled while trying to gain her composure. Tegan let go of her tie and sat down at the bar.

"I'd like a long island please." She smiled at Sara. Long Island's weren't her favorite drink, but most of the ingredients were behing Sara in the cupbard system along the bottom of the wall. Every time Sara turned to grab an ingredient Tegan just stared at her perfectly formed bum. Then she heard a chuckle coming form Ted.

"What?" She snapped shooting him a glare.

"Oh nothing." He chuckled to himself and poured a shot of whiskey for the gentleman in front of him, "It's just, I can't help but notice you, well...noticing." He winked.

"Noticing what?" Sara joined the conversation, a little confused, but she was sure she knew what Tegan had noticed.

"Nothing." Tegan looked anywhere but at Sara, "I wasn't noticing anything."

"Oh?" Sara questioned raising an eyebrow, "Cause judging from Ted's comment it sounds like you were checking out my ass."

Tegan thought she would choke on her drink.

"It's okay. I don't mind." Sara winked and walked to another customer, adding an extra shake to her hips.

"Ted you bastard." Tegan whispered angrily, "You got me caught."

"I figured you needed to get caught." He shrugged, "All those times that all those other girls didn't notice it."

"But Sara's different." She shook her head at him, "She's not like them at all."

"I know." He smiled at Tegan, "I also knew she wouldn't mind. Some other chick checked her out on her first night, and she seemed flattered."

"Oh..." Tegan decided to let him off the hook, "I'm sorry I ever doubted your expertise Ted."

"It's okay." He chuckled, "Everybody does once...just once though."

"Yeah...nobody's been stupid enough to doubt you twice." She agreed, but then with a smirk added, "Yet."

He laughed and then got back to work. Tegan then felt no shame in watching Sara as she helped the other people around the bar.

"Enjoying the view?"

Tegan jumped at the sound of a voice, "Jesus! You scared me Emy!"

"Sorry."

"It's okay..." Tegan chuckled, "Are you here alone?"

"No." Emy gestured toward a corner booth, "I'm here with Linds."

"Oh, can you tell her thank you for me?"

"Thanks for what?" Emy raised an eyebrow.

"She helped Sara choose what to wear last night." She mumbled.

"Are you and Sara dating?" Emy's eyes lit up.

"We went out for dinner last night." Tegan corrected her, "One date doesn't count as dating."

"True." She smirked at Tegan, "But you're here on a non-performance day, so this is kinda a date to...right?"

"Yes." Tegan sighed out her answer.

"Well then," Emy started to back away, "I'll leave you to it."

"Thanks Emy. I'll see you around."

Tegan stayed until the bar closed. Unfortunately it was too busy to do much talking, so for the most of the night she wandered around, drank, danced, and she smiled whenever she saw Sara working. All in all, it wasn't a bad night, even though she didn't get to just sit and flirt shamelessly with Sara for hours.

Sara had a different take on the night though. She thought it was awful, she had invited Tegan to hang out while she worked, and they barely even had a conversation. It was not at all how it was supposed to go. They were supposed to talk and laugh together. Not be in the same place but have no interaction.

"Tonight was fun." Tegan smiled at Sara while Ted started the closing process.

"No it wasn't." Sara groaned, "It was awful. We didn't even have a chance to hold a full conversation!"

"Don't worry about it." Tegan brushed off Sara's concerns, "It was still good. Plus, I had a good view of...things." She ended with another confident smirk.

"Yeah." Sara eyed her, "I noticed."

Tegan shrugged, all embaressment about being caught by Ted earlier was gone.

"Not even a little embaressed?"

"Nah...I have nothing to fear." One corner of her mouth went up into a smile, "I'm too irresistible."

"I can't argue with that." Sara said as she grabbed Tegan's tie and pulled her close, "I'm glad you enjoyed yourself tonight. One of these days you'll need to get a closer view of...things." She teased and let go of the tie, mimicking Tegan's earlier actions.

"You fucking tease." Tegan smiled and pulled Sara into a kiss by her tie. "Such a fucking tease." She breathed as she pulled her lips away.

"Who's the tease now? You didn't even give me a chance to get involved." Sara pulled Tegan in for another kiss, "Now we're even." She smirked.

"I like being even."

"Ahem." Ted cleared his voice, "Can I have some cleanup help?"

Sara turned bright red, she had forgotten where she was momentarily, "Yeah...I can help."

She started going to the tables and clearing them off. Tegan followed her around with a towel.

"Tegan you don't work here." Ted eyed her from a few feet away. "So I wont be paying you."

"That's fine Ted. I just want to help."

"Thanks." Sara smiled back at Tegan, "Cause this place is a mess!"

Ted put on Death Cab and went back to work. They all had a good time cleaning and singing along with the music. The time ended up flying past, but it was still enough time together to satisfy the two girls.

"Do you want to get lunch tomorrow?" Tegan asked.

"Sure." Sara bit her lip, "Let me know when and where."

"I'll text you the details tomorrow." She flashed her a smile.

"Sounds good." She reached out for Tegan's tie again and pulled her in for a kiss. This time Tegan felt a lot more passion than she did last night. After several seconds of internal debate, she decided to pull away.

"I need to stop wearing this tie." She joked and playfully pushed Sara away.

"Please never stop wearing that tie." Sara yanked Tegan back to her, kissing her harder, "Because if you don't wear it, I'll stop doing this." She whispered and kissed Tegan again.

"I'll wear it everyday I'm with you then." Tegan chuckled, "But I need to get home. I'm exhausted."

"Okay." They hugged, "I'll see you tomorrow then." Tegan nodded and walked out the door, shaking her hips like Sara had. She heard a barely audible moan behind her and she laughed after the door closed. She couldn't wait till tomorrow, the tie was a must, so getting ready was going to be easier than it was last night.

Sara did a little dance as soon as the door closed. "She asked me out again Ted!" She practically screamed across the bar.

"That's awesome." He smiled his approval, "Going with the heels and tie again?"

"No tie..." Sara grinned mischievously, "I like being the one doing all the pulling."

"That's what she said." Ted chuckled at his own joke.

"I know Ted..." She couldn't help but laugh at Ted's immature comment, "I'll see you tomorrow.

"See you tomorrow Sara." He waved and she walked out the door.

She felt as light as air as she walked on the clouds all the way back to her apartment. She had the biggest smile plastered on her face. I am dating Tegan! I need to let Shaun know. As soon as she got home she called and left a message on his machine. Smiling the entire time.


	5. Fast Car To My Scars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tegan opens up to Sara after picking her up for lunch. (I cringe reading this chapter...it feels so cheesy to me)

Tegan waited outside Sara's apartment in her beat up sedan. She had decided to wear a pair of slim jeans and a white button up with the sleeves rolled up. She smiled to herself as she looked down and loosened her tie. I hope Sara pulls me in again.

Sara decided to where tight leggings, a long t-shirt and doc Martins. She wanted to see how Tegan would react to her not wearing heels.

"Hey there hot stuff." Tegan let her eyes wander from Sara's face all the way down to her shoes. She had no shame in checking Sara out, and she couldn't help but linger on Sara's barely visible collar bones.

"Hey there beautiful!" Sara responded with a smile and bit her lip while she looked at Tegan's tie, "Where are we going?"

"To a café I know of." She opened the passenger side door for Sara.

"Let's go then." She let her hand brush against Tegan's hip as she got in the car.

Tegan got in and started the car. She turned her radio to a local college station she had discovered years ago.

"What station is this?"

"It's a college station. They play a lot of indie music, and they have a good mix of classics."

"That's cool." She leaned back in her seat listening to the music. The song faded out as soon as she started to listen, then a voice came through the radio.

"You just heard Pearl Jam – Just Breathe. Stay tuned for a classic late eighties Folksy-Blues ballad."

"I bet you I can guess what song they'll play on my first try." Tegan challenged Sara.

"How much do you wanna bet?" Sara decided to go along.

"Five bucks…" She smirked at Sara and added, "I'll give you ten if I lose. Cause I know I won't."

"Deal." Sara didn't really care if Tegan was right, five bucks was nothing, and she wanted Tegan to show off.

"They'll play Fast Car by Tracy Chapman." Tegan smirked in early celebration.

"I hope they do." Sara smiled at Tegan, "It's one of my all time favorites."

The radio station came back from a break moments later and the song started.

You got a fast car

I want a ticket to anywhere

Maybe we make a deal

Maybe together we can get somewhere

"Alright, here's five bucks." Sara handed Tegan the cash and Tegan sent her another confident smirk.

"I told you I would guess right."

They sat in silence the rest of the song, but Sara noticed that Tegan was starting to get emotional. She decided to let it go, in case Tegan didn't want to talk about it. So she was shocked when Tegan spoke after the song ended.

"I'm sorry. This song always makes me emotional." Tegan wiped a tear away from her cheek.

"Why does it?" Sara asked before she could stop herself.

"It always makes me think of my life." Tegan tried hard to focus on the road, "My father had a drinking problem. I had to try to take care of my mom. And my first girlfriend never really cared about me. But, this song always has given me a hope for my future."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Yeah…" Tegan gave a slight nod, "But I need to eat."

Tegan pulled up in front of a small café called Mia's and helped Sara out of her car. They walked in and Tegan was immediately greeted by the waitress.

"Tegan!" The woman smiled, "It's been too long."

"I know." Tegan hugged her, "Sara this is my friend Stacy."

"It's nice to meet you." Stacey held out her hand and Sara shook it.

She sat them at a table built for two. They ordered their food, and Tegan decided to open up.

"My mom had me when she was twenty. My Nonni didn't really like that because they hadn't met my father yet. But they still loved my mom. They might have been the only ones who did. My father sure as hell didn't. Anyway, my first memory of him coming home drunk was when I was ten. I heard him yelling at my mom, 'You stupid bitch. Why did you give me such a goddamn hideous child! Did you cheat on me? There is no fucking way I could have created something that ugly'." Tegan choked back tears as the visceral memory came to her. "Then I heard him slap her, he pushed her against the wall and threw stuff at her, and then he beat her with his belt. I cried myself to sleep that night and every night until he was gone. But the worst night was when I was seventeen. He came home drunk and came into my room shouting. He was terrible, 'Why do you never listen to me bitch? I'm your father! Look at me when I talk.' And when I looked at him he hit me. 'You ugly bitch! Can't you see that no one loves you? You don't even have friends! You're fucking pathetic!' Then he slapped me right across my face and left to beat my mom." She had tears streaming down her face and Sara was crying while trying to comfort her by rubbing the backs of her hands with her thumbs. "That's the night I first thought about suicide. And I would have ended it then and there if it weren't for the fact that I didn't want my mom to be the one to find my body. So I decided that pain was the next best thing. I started playing hockey, and in my first season I had started feuds with the toughest girls on each team. I relished the pain I got from being knocked down repeatedly. I also took up skateboarding just so I could fall. I came home every day bruised and torn. I went on like this for years, until the pain wasn't enough. When I was nineteen I got drunk, high, and then smoked a pack of cigarettes to calm my nerves. I then went to the overpass and was preparing to jump down into the traffic when my cellphone rang. I answered at it was the hospital telling me my mom was in the hospital. I rushed to the hospital and my mom was in a bed covered in bruises and cuts, unconscious and hooked up to a million different machines. My father just stood there and told the doctors some bullshit about her falling off a ladder. That was when I had my first violent outburst. I tackled him to the ground and wailed on him. But he was a lot stronger than me, he picked me up and threw me into the wall. When I woke up the doctor told me he had been arrested and would be in jail for a long time. For the next year things were better for me. I took care of my mom, cooking meals, grocery shopping, and taking care of all her wounds. But it wasn't enough. I came home from work one day and there was a note on the door. All it said was sorry. I rushed to my mom's room and she was just laying there, an empty bottle of prescription pills on her bedside dresser. I shook her and shook her, but she never woke up. That's when I started writing music, it was my only escape."

Sara was crying so hard she couldn't even talk. After a couple of minutes of the two of them crying and holding hands, Sara spoke, "I'm so sorry Tegan. So sorry."

"It's okay Sara. It wasn't your fault." Tegan didn't want Sara to feel bad.

"Let me erase those memories. I'll do whatever it takes. Anything it takes."

"Kiss me?" Tegan could feel the tears welling up in her eyes again, but when Sara pulled her in and kissed her tenderly, the pain momentarily left. "Thank you."

"Do you want to come home with me Tegan?" Tegan nodded, "We can talk, watch a movie, or just sit and I can hold you."

"I'd like that." Tegan choked out.

"Give me the keys, I'll drive." Sara left enough cash to cover the bill and helped Tegan to the car.

She pulled out her iPod and put Fast Car on. "I have the fast car, and your ticket is to my house right now. Okay?"

"Okay." Tegan nodded.

When they got to Sara's apartment Tegan had stopped crying, but she still felt broken inside. She needed to be fixed.

They went into Sara's small two room apartment and sat on the couch. Sara plugged her iPod into a small home system and put music on.

"This is me!" Tegan smiled when she heard her voice come through the speakers.

"Yeah," Sara scooted closer to Tegan, "Your music is good medicine."

They sat together on the couch, Sara wrapped around Tegan, and Tegan curled into a ball beside her. She could feel all her emotions building up in her. But, the strongest emotion was love, and that was unusual for her. She sat up after over an hour of cuddling and looked at Sara, "Thank you. I needed this, I needed you."

"Stay the night." Sara said before she could let her brain stop her.

"I don't know Sara." Tegan eyed the door debating.

"Just to sleep." Sara rubbed Tegan's back, "I can tell you need someone with you. Just let it be me. Let my body keep you warm, let my arms sooth you, and please let me wake up to your beautiful face."

Tegan leaned in and kissed her. She didn't care about any feelings in that moment other than what she felt toward Sara. And she was damn sure it was love. She felt Sara's tongue press against her bottom lip and she let her in. The kiss was what she needed, it was passionate, but it was soft and sensual. It relaxed her whole body. When she pulled away she felt a slight tug on her lower lip, then another small tug on her labret. She started to lift her shirt when Sara stopped her.

"No Tegan…"

Tegan ignored Sara's plead. She didn't care, she wanted this, and she needed this. She quickly re-attached their lips. Before she knew it Sara's shirt was off. Tegan then took the time to explore the perfect collar bones she had noticed earlier. Sara pushed her so she was lying on the couch.

"Are you sure?" Sara questioned, not wanting to move too fast.

"Yes Sara, I need this." Tegan whimpered.

Sara slowly unzipped Tegan's pants. She pulled them off and then hooked her index fingers under the waistline of Tegan's boy shorts. She hesitated and looked at Tegan. Tegan nodded and let out a soft moan as she felt her shorts being pulled down.

Sara pressed her body against Tegan's and whispered to her, "I'll make you feel better."

Tegan bit her lip as she felt two fingers enter her. Sara was slow, methodical, and very good at what she did. With all the pent up emotion inside of Tegan it didn't take long for her to feel her climax nearing.

"Oh God Sara!" She yelled through clenched teeth.

Sara lifted her head so she could look Tegan in the eye as she used her thumb to slowly rub Tegan's clit. Tegan's head immediately went into the crook of Sara's neck and just as quickly went back in a loud but pleased scream as bliss took over her entire body. She shuddered as Sara slowly removed her fingers.

"Do you want me to taste you?" Sara asked as she drew her hand up toward her mouth. Tegan nodded and moaned as she saw Sara lick her fingers clean. "You taste so good Tee."

"Kiss me?" Tegan begged with her words and eyes. They kissed and Tegan could taste herself on Sara's tongue. She started to unzip Sara's pants when she was stopped again.

"That's not what you need Tegan." Sara shook her head, "You need to rest and forget about your pain."

Tegan nodded in agreement. As much as she wanted to return the favor, she knew that Sara was right. Sara offered her a pair of plaid pajama shorts and a wife beater. She put them on and got into Sara's bed. She felt Sara snuggle up to her and wrap her arms around her waist. So this is what heaven's like? I never want to leave it. Tegan fell asleep, happier than she'd ever been. For a moment, before dozing off, she actually forgot about all her pain…all her pain.


	6. In The Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tegan wakes up in Sara's apartment. Kind of a fluffy chapter

Tegan opened her eyes the next morning and saw Sara, propped up on one elbow, looking back at her. Tegan smiled faintly as the memory of yesterday…or was that earlier today?

"You're finally up." Sara smiled sweetly and tucked a few loose hairs behind Tegan's ear, "You're beautiful when you sleep. You look so peaceful."

"That's your doing." Tegan snuggled up to Sara, "You were in all my dreams…it kept me happy."

"I'm glad I make you happy." A tear welled up in Sara's eye, "I'm so sorry Tegan. I'm so sorry about your family."

Tegan started to rub her back, "Shhh…it's okay. You're here with me now. We don't need to talk about that anymore."

Sara nodded and buried her head in Tegan's neck. They laid like that for a while. Just the two of them, bodies pressed against each other, nothing else in the world on their minds.

Then Sara heard Tegan's stomach growl, "Let's go see what I have in the fridge." She sat up and pulled Tegan with her.

They wandered into the kitchen, Tegan with her head on Sara's shoulder the entire time.

"What do you want?" Sara asked as she opened the fridge, "I have some leftover pizza, ingredients for a sandwich, or I could make some boxed mac and cheese."

Tegan's eyes lit up, "Mac and cheese please!"

Sara laughed at the enthusiasm, "Okay…just grab one of the pots. They're under the microwave." She gestured to a cupboard door.

They talked as they waited for the pasta to cook.

"Listen, about earlier…" Tegan was cut off before she got further.

"Don't worry. We can still take it slow if you want." Sara assured her, "But you needed it…if you want to just date and take your time that's fine."

"Thank you." Tegan loved that Sara understood.

"But," Tegan froze expecting the worst, "Since you told me your past, I should tell you why I moved here." Tegan nodded slowly and Sara continued, "Well, my best friend in high school was gay and she was out and confident about it. My parents hated her for being gay. They always told me not to hang out with her, that she was a bad influence, and that she was living a life of shame. So I waited till after college to tell my parents I was a lesbian. Their reaction was exactly what I expected. They told me I wasn't welcome back home. They said that I was no longer their daughter. But I was okay with that, you know? It didn't matter to me if they called me their daughter, because I didn't want parents who disagreed with my lifestyle. So I moved to a small apartment, got a girlfriend and a job at a local bar. After a few years my girlfriend and I broke up, and I decided it was time to leave. Vancouver just seemed like it was the place to go. It's got a certain beauty to it, and I knew that you lived here. So I said good bye to my few friends and headed out west." Tegan nodded, understanding how difficult it would be to come out to your parents…but she never got the chance to, so her experience coming out to her grandparents was the closest thing she had to compare to. They were a little taken back by it at first, but they never stopped loving her, and they supported every decision she'd made since she was twenty.

"I'm glad you moved here." Tegan smiled and kissed Sara's cheek.

"Me too." Sara pulled Tegan in for a hug.

The timer went off on her stove and she quickly put the finishing touches on the macaroni.

"Where do we sit?" Tegan asked noticing that there was no table.

"I usually just sit on the counter." Sara shrugged and then pulled herself up onto the counter across from the stove and sat there cross legged. She patted the space next to her and started to eat.

Tegan jumped up next to her and they sat shoulder to shoulder and ate in silence.

"I'm sorry your parents didn't accept you." Tegan said after they finished their meal.

"It's really okay." Sara shrugged it off, "Their opinions never mattered to me before that, so it really wasn't a big deal."

"Okay." Tegan smiled even though she could tell something was hurting inside Sara. But she didn't want to pry; Sara would share with her when she was ready.

"Do you want to watch something?" Sara asked as she sat down on her small couch.

"Sure." Tegan took a seat next to her.

"Funny or serious?" Sara asked as she stood up and walked toward a shelf filled with dvds.

"Funny." Tegan didn't want anything that might make her emotional.

"Okay." She looked through her movie collection, "Do you like The Holiday?"

"Yeah." Tegan smiled at her and she put the movie on.

They watched the movie cuddled together on the couch, Sara's hand idly rubbing Tegan's shoulder. Tegan leaned her head against Sara's shoulder and nestled in. She was completely at ease when she was next to Sara. All of here worries were gone. I could get used to this. She smiled at the thought and hugged Sara a little tighter.

"What?" Sara asked as a reaction to the squeeze.

"It's nothing," Tegan smiled again, "I'm just really glad that I'm here…with you."

"I'm glad you're here too." Sara turned to smile at her, "I like being able to see the prettiest girl in all of Vancouver just sitting here on my couch."

Tegan felt a tear come to the brim of her eye, "Why do you say that?"

Sara brushed a few loose hairs out of Tegan's face, "Because it's true Tegan. You are absolutely beautiful." She kissed her forehead.

"Thank you," A few tears rolled down her cheeks, "But I'm nothing compared to you." They smiled at each other and started to kiss when Tegan's phone rang, interrupting their moment.

"Hello?"

"Hey Tegan, where are you?" Ted sounded concerned.

"I'm home." She lied not wanting him to give her a hard time for being at Sara's apartment.

"Bullshit." He laughed into the phone, "Your car isn't there."

"Why are you at my apartment?"

"I have a little something for you. I was going to give it to you but you aren't home."

"Why do you have something for me?" She questioned, "I don't need free stuff Ted."

"No," He sighed through his smile, "But you definitely will want this. And it didn't cost me anything."

"Okay."

"So…" She could hear Ted's internal debate about whether or not he should ask the question on his tongue, "Where are you at?"

"Don't judge me Ted." She bit her lip not sure if she should tell him.

"I won't." She could tell that he was sincere about that.

"I'm at Sara's." She grimaced expecting some lecture about rushing into a relationship.

"Cool Teegs." She could hear his smile.

"Really? Nothing about me moving too fast?"

"Nah! I'll bring your present to her house then." He hung up before she could protest.

She turned back to Sara, "Ted's coming."

"Why?" Sara looked a little scared.

"He said he has something for me." She shrugged.

"Oh, okay." Relief went over Sara's face. She definitely was expecting him to be mad at her for having his best friend in her apartment.

A couple of minutes later they heard a knock. Sara went and answered the door.

"Hi Ted." She gave him a small hug.

"Hey girls." He eyed Tegan questioningly and she glared at him.

"What did you have for me?" She knew whatever it was it was something she couldn't afford. Ted did this about once a month, making up some story about getting something for cheap, and then he'd give it to her. It was usually something useful. Like last time he brought her a microwave to replace her fifteen year old beat up one. And before that it was a shelf system for her movies, books, and had enough room to put her TV on it. Then there was the set of new light fixtures for her ceiling. So she was prepared for anything, except what he pulled out from behind his back.

"It's a Baby Taylor." He handed the small cloth guitar case to her, "I figured it would be easier for you to play than that old full sized acoustic you always use."

She couldn't help but let a smile cover her face and she hugged him around his neck, "Thank you so much Ted."

"Don't mention it." He gave her a quick squeeze, "I'll leave you two alone now."

"Wow…" Tegan sighed out when she opened the guitar case.

"That was nice of him."

"He's always doing this." Tegan rolled her eyes, "He thinks I haven't realized that he always gives me brand new things. He pretends like he got them free, or at a garage sale. But that beautiful bastard just cares too much for me. He always gets me nice things."

"You should play something." Sara was excited about the idea that Tegan could sing something to just her.

"Okay." Tegan pulled out the guitar and checked the tuning. It sounded good, so she started to play.

"Oh I love this song!" Sara started to sway her head to the music.

Tegan smiled and then sung, "Hey little girl is your daddy home? Did he go and leave you all alone? Oh, I got a bad desire; oh, oh, oh, I'm on fire."

Sara smiled through the entire song, still ecstatic over the fact that Tegan was singing Springsteen to her. He was her favorite rock artist of all time. When she finished Tegan just looked down at her guitar.

"That was beautiful Tegan." Sara still had a smile on her face.

"Thanks." She blushed.

"Can I play something?" She gestured toward the guitar and bit her bottom lip.

"Sure." It was Tegan's turn to smile now; she finally would get to hear Sara singing alone.

"This is a song I wrote years ago." Sara blushed and started to play. "I've only ever played this for a couple of friends. Sorry if it's no good."

"I'm sure it's great." Tegan assured her and Sara smiled at her.

"Okay, here it goes," She took a deep breath, "Love pull your sore ribs in. I will pull your tangles out."

"That was incredible." Tegan hugged her after the song ended.

"Really?" Sara blushed, "You think so?"

"Yeah," Tegan nodded, "It was really good. You should definitely write more songs."

"Aw, thanks." Sara was shocked, she never expected someone as talented as Tegan Quin to like her music.

They spent the rest of the evening playing the guitar, mostly doing covers of Bruce Springsteen, a common music interest of theirs. Tegan then played a song Sara hadn't heard.

"I'm coming up only to hold you under/and coming up only to show you're wrong/and to know you is hard; we wonder/to know you all wrong we warn."

"What song is that?" Sara asked when Tegan had finished.

"It's called The Funeral. It's by a band called Band of Horses."

"I liked it." Sara smiled, "It's getting late though, do you want to head to bed?"

"Yeah, I'd like that." Tegan smiled, not wanting to go another second without cuddling with the beautiful woman who was reaching a hand out to her. Sara lifted her up of the couch and led her to the bedroom. They got in bed and immediately cuddled up to each other; Tegan's back fitting perfectly against Sara's front. She fell asleep thinking about Sara, and all her dreams were of that beautiful girl. It kept her calm, and she slept peacefully all night. And that was something she wasn't used to.


	7. The Storm Before The Calm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Tegan has an anxiety attack (This chapter has verbal abuse in it)

"Stop fucking running through my goddamned house you bitch! I didn't raise you like that."

"I'm sorry dad, but I'm late for school." Tegan tried to open the door before he could yell at her more.

"Don't you dare fucking call me that!" He rose from his chair and grabbed her wrist, "There is no way in hell I'm your real father you hideous bitch!" She felt the sharp sting on her jaw and the bit her lip to keep from crying.

"It won't happen again," She was shaking from the mix of anger and pain welling inside her, "I'm sorry Gabriel." She hated his name, it sounded too nice for him.

"That's better." He relaxed his grip on her wrist and turned as her mom entered the room. "Come here Mia!" He shouted and she quickly walked up to him, "Your bitch of a daughter was running through my house again. Fucking learn how to control her you stupid bitch!" He slapped her and then opened the door ushering Tegan outside. She could hear her mom's muffled screams as Gabriel hit her again and again. She heard something crash into the ground and her mother's scream. She knew what he'd done; he had just smashed the last of Mia's favorite China set. Then the hitting and screaming continued.

"Mamma! Mamma! Mamma!" Tegan's own screams woke her up. She looked frantically to her left, but the bed was empty. Then she heard someone running quickly to the door. It opened and Sara rushed over to her.

"Are you okay?" She asked as Tegan buried her head into her shoulder.

"I had a bad dream." Tegan sobbed out her answer.

"I heard you screaming from the bathroom." Sara rubbed Tegan's back, "I was terrified."

"I didn't mean to scare you." Tegan nuzzled further into Sara's soft shirt, "I'm sorry."

Sara lifted Tegan's chin and looked into her eyes, "Don't be sorry. You have no need to be sorry." She kissed the top of her head and then asked, "What was it about?"

Tegan answered through the tears that just kept coming, "It was him…it was him…it was him."

"Shh…it's okay." Sara tried to comfort her, "He's not here Tegan. But I am, and you're going to be alright."

Tegan felt the pain slowly fade, but the tears remained, staining her cheeks. She was soothed by Sara's hand rubbing her back, her soft voice, but mostly by the knowledge that she was there for her. No one had ever comforted her before. At least not like this. This was something special. Tegan slowly drifted off to sleep and Sara cuddled her for the rest of the night.

Tegan woke up in the morning and she felt calm. She looked over to her left and Sara was sleeping. She looks like an angel! Tegan could help but smile. She reached out ran her fingers through Sara's hair, hoping it wouldn't wake her. Sara smiled slightly in her sleep and moved closer to Tegan. Tegan kissed her forehead and then slowly and quietly got out of bed. She wrote a note and left it on her pillow before walking to the kitchen.

"Let's see what she has." She said to herself as she opened the fridge, "Eggs…cheese…tomatoes…onion…bacon…I'll make omelets." She busied herself in the kitchen. If there was one thing she had learned from her Grandma it was this, she could make incredible breakfasts. After about fifteen minutes the omelets were ready. So she got out a couple of plates and forks, then she grabbed two glasses and poured some orange juice. She jumped when Sara spoke.

"Did you make breakfast?" She asked sleepily.

"Yeah!" Tegan smiled and pointed to the omelets, "I made you a frittata."

"A what?"

"Frittata…it's an omelet." Tegan handed her the plate.

"Thank you…but you didn't have to make breakfast."

"I wanted to." Tegan smiled and took a bite of her omelet. Sara then followed suit.

They ate in silence, aside from Sara telling Tegan repeatedly how good the omelet was. Tegan just shrugged it off, but inside she was extremely happy. She likes my food! I could get used to hearing that praise. She smirked and then finished eating.

"Did you sleep well?" Sara asked as she put her plate in the sink.

"I slept very well, actually." Tegan smiled, "I'm used to those dreams…only waking up once during the night is better than normal."

"Well I'm glad you slept well." Sara smiled and then spoke again, "Are they dreams or memories?"

"A bit of both…Usually memories, but when they turn into dreams it's worse." Tegan looked a little shell shocked, "Much worse. But last night was a memory. Albeit a bad one, it was at least only a memory."

"We should go shopping." Sara blurted after several seconds of silence, "Maybe I can get you something to help you get past those memories."

"I don't think anything will. But if you really want to, I won't refuse."

"Good!" Sara smiled in triumph, "Let's go shopping!"

They got dressed; Tegan was going to wear yesterday's clothes but Sara practically forced her to borrow some clean clothes. "Here," She tossed a gray v neck at Tegan, "This will look good, and you can borrow a pair of jeans." She pointed at the bottom drawer of her dresser. Tegan opened and grabbed a pair of faded black skinny jeans. "You look cute." Sara smirked at her as they walked out the door.

"Thanks." She smiled and checked out Sara. She was wearing a gray jacket over a red t-shirt with a pair of slim fitting jeans, "You look cuter."

They got in Tegan's car, "Where to?" Tegan asked as she started her sedan.

"I don't know." She shrugged and then added, "Where do you normally get your clothes?"

"At a friend's store," She answered and started to drive, "It's called Casual Classics. It's cheesy, I know, but the clothes are great."

"Okay. Let's go there then." Sara smiled at her and turned on the radio.

"Lately I saved myself

Lately I saved myself

Lately I saved myself

See I, I was wrong but I saved myself"

"I like the sound of this song." Sara said while absent mindedly swaying to the music.

"This college station is the best radio station there is." Tegan smiled and turned the volume up.

"I'm gonna have to dial it into my car next time I drive it." Sara smiled still swaying.

"You're cute when you listen to music."

Sara blushed and stopped swaying.

"Please don't stop." Tegan pouted and pushed her bottom lip out.

Sara chuckled and then continued with her swaying.

It was a short drive and they barely finished listening to one song before Tegan stopped the car and got out. She walked up to a small corner shop and went inside.

"Johnny!" She greeted the man sitting behind the checkout counter.

"Hey Tegan! It's been a while." He waved at her and smiled.

"Yeah it has." Tegan then turned to Sara, "This is my friend Johnny; Johnny this is Sara."

The two shook hands and then Tegan went around the store browsing through all the clothes.

"Wow…" Sara's jaw dropped as they walked around, "This place has awesome clothes."

"Yeah, I know." Tegan smiled and looked at a few shirts on a rack.

She held up a blue plaid button up that Sara could tell would hug her body, accenting her curves nicely, "I like it. Do you want it?" She asked and Tegan nodded.

"Yeah." Tegan handed Sara the shirt.

"Okay." Sara smiled, "Now I want to buy something. Can you help me?"

"Sure." Tegan smiled cheerily.

They spent over an hour looking around and collected a stack of shirts and jackets to decide from.

"I think you should buy the red v neck and the jean jacket." Tegan said holding them up.

"Okay." Sara would buy anything if Tegan said she liked it, "Let's go buy this stuff then."

They walked up to Johnny and set the three shirts on the counter, "We've finally decide." Tegan informed him.

"Alright." He quickly looked at the clothes, "Good choices." He looked at the price tags on the clothes and then said, "That'll be fifty bucks."

"Johnny I think your math is wrong." Tegan looked back at the clothes, "The jacket was almost fifty bucks."

"It's on sale." He shrugged and again said, "Fifty bucks."

Sara paid him and they walked out with their new clothes.

"You should come to The Hap tonight and wear your new shirt."

"Okay." Tegan smiled, "But I need to go home, there's some stuff I have to deal with. I'll drop you off at your place."

"Okay." Sara was a little sad that she couldn't spend all day with the beautiful and tragic woman that was Tegan Quin.

"But I promise I'll show go to the bar tonight." Tegan could see that Sara didn't want to let her go.

"Okay. You better not break that promise." Sara put on a stern face.

"I wouldn't dare." Tegan kissed her lightly on the lips and then jogged to the driver side door.

As Tegan drove her home, Sara road the whole way in silence, just soaking in the music that was seeping through Tegan's speakers.

"Black Flies on the window sill

That we are, That we are

That we are to know

Winter stole summer's thrill

And the river's cracked and cold"

Even though the song wasn't a happy song it calmed Tegan. Something about the music just made her feel at ease. She dropped Sara off, promising she'd be at the bar, they kissed, and then she drove to her apartment.

When she got home she started writing a song.

"I won't mistake you for problems with me

I won't let my moods ruin this you'll see"

She spent the rest of the afternoon writing the song, letting her emotional struggles fuel the lyrics. She loved Sara, but she knew that Sara was sad. Something in her eyes screamed it. But everything else about her was happy. Tegan wanted to know so badly what was keeping Sara sad. Maybe she actually cares about her parents opinion and she misses them. Maybe it's about an ex girlfriend. Maybe she lost someone close to her. Then it struck her. When she had mentioned her best friend she had said that she was gay. And when she said that was when Tegan first saw the deep sadness in her eyes. Oh god…she lost her closest friend.

Little did Tegan know that Sara's thoughts were right there in the same vein.

"Oh Jessie…" Sara cried as she pulled the senior picture out of her pocket, "I finally found someone. She's really nice, but she has a terrible past. I need your help. I don't know what to do to make her pain go away." She cried silently before continuing, "I talked to Shaun finally. It was the first time in too long, first time that we didn't talk about you. Maybe I'm getting better." She smiled, hoping she was, "Anyway, remember Tegan Quin? You loved her music. Well, she's the girl I met. She's so awesome Jess…you would have loved her. She's a lot like you. She makes me feel relaxed, and I haven't felt like that since the last time I saw you." She felt the tears pouring down her face, "I miss you so much Jess! I miss you so much. I wish I could've been there. I could have saved you. If I was there you never would have run across the street just to avoid walking all the way to the crosswalk. It's all my fault. I know it's my fault now, I can't blame Shaun forever. It's not his fault that he couldn't pick you up from college that night. It's mine. I was the one who asked him to hang out…It's my fault that he was too drunk to drive you home. And I'm sorry for that. Please forgive me? And help me forgive your brother. It was so nice to talk to him, I missed it. He reminded me too much of my pain for so long. But I think I'm finally getting better." She let out a small smile, "I love you so much Jess. Don't forget about me, just like I don't forget about you." She cried softly and when she finished crying she got ready for work.

Sara mindlessly served the customers and washed glasses, just waiting for Tegan to arrive. When she finally did Sara thought she'd break down and cry, but she stayed strong. "That's her Jess! Do you remember her?" She whispered to the air next to her, "I wish you could really meet her." A single tear started to leave her eye but she wiped it off discreetly before waving to Tegan.

"Hey there gorgeous." Tegan flashed her a cocky grin.

"Hi beautiful." Sara watched as Tegan's grin turned into a sincere smile.

"So, did you miss me?" Tegan sat on the stool directly across from her.

"Of course." Sara leaned in and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. More than you know.

"I have a new song to perform tomorrow night." Tegan absent mindedly twiddled her thumbs, a nervous habit.

"Really?" Sara perked up, "What's it about?"

"Well…me…sort of…" Tegan's confidence left and she looked down at the counter.

"I can't wait to hear it!" Sara flashed her a giant smile, "I love hearing about you."

Tegan smiled back but inside her stomach did a backflip. But it's about you…please open up to me! Please? "I hope you like it." She smiled some more, but her insides were battling against her urge to just ask Sara what made her so sad. I can't ask, but maybe she'll open up to my song. If not, I'll just have to wait a while, wait until she's ready.


	8. The Opening Act

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ted has someone open for Tegan

Tegan was nervous. Not because she was worried about how her gig would go, but because she wasn't sure how Sara would respond to her new song. She took a long shower to calm herself before getting ready to play at The Hap.

"You can do this Tegan." She told her reflection after she finished her shower, "It's just another song."

She then had to figure out what she'd wear. She usually didn't put much thought into what she wore to her little gigs, but Sara changed that. She had to look her best. She decided to wear her new shirt again. It was something she knew Sara liked. She threw on a pair of skinny jeans and then rolled her sleeves up to her elbows. Tegan took a minute to look at herself in the mirror.

"It's missing something." She said to herself and turned back to all her clothes.

She decided she should wear her fedora and then she put on her converse and left her apartment with her new Baby Taylor.

She called Ted to let him know she would be there a few minutes late.

"Hello?"

"Hey Ted, I'm running late."

"Okay. I'll let people know."

"Thanks Ted." She hung up and got in her car.

Ted quickly looked around the bar, there were more of Tegan's fans than normally showed up. He grabbed the microphone that he kept under the bar and made an announcement.

"For all of you here to see Tegan Quin perform," Several people looked his way and gave him their full attention, "I'm sorry, but she's running late." There were a few groans of complaint.

"Do you need someone to entertain them while they wait?" Ted looked to his right to see who had asked.

"Sara, if you know anyone who can play them a few songs, that would be great."

"Can you handle the bar for the next ten minutes?"

"You're going to play?" He raised an eyebrow, he was unaware that she played or sang.

"If you'll let me." She smiled at him.

"Go ahead."

She went out to her car and opened the trunk. Her acoustic guitar was sitting in its case collecting dust. She never unpacked it after her road trip from Montreal to Vancouver. She grabbed it and went back inside.

After tuning her guitar, which badly needed it, she went up to the microphone on stage.

"Hi everybody," Most of the people just sort of looked at her in confusion, "I'm here to play a couple songs until Tegan shows up."

While everyone was still processing what was happening she started to play.

"I miss you now

I guess like I should have missed you then

My body moves

Like curtains waving in and out of wind

In and out of windows."

She was surprised when she was done singing. Everyone in the bar gave her a round of applause. She managed to mumble a thank you into the mic.

"Did you write that?" Emy asked from her usual spot close to the small platform of a stage.

"Yeah," She smiled at Emy, "I actually wrote it years ago, when I was in college."

"It was good. You should sing some more." Lindsey said from her seat next to Emy.

"Okay, here's another one I wrote."

"Love pull your sore ribs in

I will pull your tangles out

In the back of your car I feel like

I have traveled nowhere."

More applause greeted her as she finished strumming the final notes. One particularly loud cheer was coming from somewhere near Ted.

"I love that song." She smiled at the voice, "I told you it was incredible!"

"Thanks Tegan!" She smiled over at the beautiful woman, "It's your turn to sing."

"Nobody's gonna want me up there now. Not after that performance." She smiled back at Sara.

"Come on." Tegan walked up to the stage holding her new guitar. Sara got up from the stool she was sitting on and started to walk away.

"Wait a second." Tegan begged her to stay on stage, "Do you guys mind if we play one song together?" A few people cheered in response.

"What are we gonna play?"

"I'm On Fire." Tegan pulled her guitar out of its case, "Do you know how to play it?"

"Yeah." She smiled at Tegan and started to strum.

They finished the song and everyone cheered again.

"Thank you!" Tegan hugged Sara and then Sara walked off stage, "Wasn't she incredible guys?" Emy and Lindsey cheered enthusiastically.

"Alright, I'll play a few songs that you guys know, but then I'm playing a brand new one." She smiled as her fans all cheered, excite about the new song. She played her set well, and all the regulars in the bar stopped their conversations and listened when she spoke into the mic, "And now for my new song." She was absolutely shocked when about twenty customers walked from where they had been mingling to about ten feet from the stage. Holy Shit! They're interested! "Okay, here it goes."

"I won't mistake you for problems with me

I won't let my moods ruin this you'll see"

Everyone who was gathered was smiling, thoroughly enjoying her new song. When she got to the lines about Sara she looked over to the bar to try and see Sara's face better.

"I know your sad even though you say that you're not

I know you're scared even though you say that you're not."

A tear ran down Sara's cheek, "See Jess, she could even tell I was sad. But she didn't press me for my story," She looked up to the ceiling, "It's just like you were. Remember when I was scared when I realized I was gay? You knew I was scared, but you didn't force me to admit why. You just comforted me in every way you knew how. She's just the same. I know you'd like her." She then focused her attention back to Tegan as she finished the song. Sara smiled wide and cheered for her.

"Thank you everybody!" Tegan had a big smile on her face, "I'm really glad you all liked it."

"How could we not?" A man that she knew was a regular spoke up, "It was really good."

"Whose it about?" Another regular asked.

"A friend of mine," She smiled and tried not to look directly at Sara, "She's an incredible woman." She said her final thank you and then went to the bar.

"That song was good." Sara smiled at her, "When did you write it?"

"Yesterday," She smiled at Sara, "It was the important business that I had to take care of."

"Well I'm glad you wrote it. It was really good." She smiled shyly, "How did you know I was sad?"

"You have sad eyes Sara." She pulled her in for a quick kiss, "Is there any way I can help them get happy?"

A few tears ran down Sara's cheeks, "Yes, I think you can help them. I just need someone to comfort me and help me when I need it."

"Okay." Tegan smiled at her, "You don't have to tell why you're sad until you're ready."

"Thank you," Sara smiled at her, "I think I'll be ready soon."

"Can I take you out when your shift ends?"

"Sure. What did you have in mind?"

"I have a key to my Nonni's restaurant, and permission to make us a meal." Tegan held up the key, "I asked them especially for tonight. That was the other thing I did yesterday."

"That sounds wonderful Tegan."

"I was hoping you'd think that." She smirked then added, "I might even speak some Italian for you."

"I'd love that." Sara paused a moment then added, "Bella."

"Hey," Tegan hit her shoulder playfully, "I thought I was the one who would speak Italian."

"I was just speaking the truth."

"Sei Bellissima." Tegan pulled her in for a kiss.

After a few short seconds Sara pulled away, "What does that mean?"

"It means you're very beautiful."

"Well thank you."

"Anytime."

The last few hours of Sara's shift crawled by. When it finally ended Tegan grabbed her and pulled her into a hug.

"Are you ready?" Tegan asked while hugging her tighter.

"Yes Tegan," Sara laughed, "I'm ready."

"Are you okay leaving your car here overnight?" Tegan asked as they walked through the small parking lot.

"It'll be fine."

"Okay." She opened her passenger door for Sara, "Hop in."

They drove the short distance from the bar to the restaurant. Tegan walked up and unlocked the front door, holding it open for Sara.

"Thank you," Sara smiled at her, "You're such a gentleman."

"I always am around the pretty ladies." Tegan sent her a flirty look.

"Well, what do you have planned for us tonight?" Sara looked around the restaurant, it had a very romantic feel to it when it was empty.

"I thought I'd make you some food, and then maybe if I'm lucky we'll end up at my place." She smirked at Sara.

"Well someone's confident." Sara smirked at Tegan.

"Do you want to join me in the kitchen?" Tegan pushed the kitchen door open.

"Of course." She smiled and walk past Tegan into the kitchen.

"What would you like?" Tegan asked as she walked toward the stack of ingredients on the shelves.

"Chicken fettuccine."

Tegan smiled at her, "That's my favorite."

"I know." Sara watched Tegan's body as she started grabbing ingredients and pans.

"Feel free to keep staring." Tegan wiggled her hips briefly as she set all of the things on the counter.

"I had no intention of stopping." She smiled and pulled Tegan into a hug from behind, "Will you be able to make food with me like this?"

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

Tegan prepared the food easily, just like she would have done without Sara holding on to her.

"It's done." She smiled as she felt Sara's lips press against her neck.

"Too bad," Sara frowned, "I was just getting started."

Tegan turned around without disconnecting the hug and they kissed, "Andiamo a mangiare la cena."

"I don't know what you said but it sounded good."

Tegan smiled, "I said let's eat dinner."

"Okay," Sara smiled back, "I'll do anything you ask, as long as you speak Italian."

"I'll remember that." Tegan smirked.

"Good."

Tegan pulled away from the hug and grabbed two plates and silverware. She then left the kitchen and returned shortly, empty handed. She then grabbed the pasta and motioned for Sara to follow. She lead her to the same table they had eaten at the last time they were there.

"This is delicious!" Sara practically moaned after taking a bite.

"Thank you," Tegan said after finishing her first bite, "My Nonna taught me."

"I'll have to thank her for that." She resumed eating and then said, "They must really love you."

"They do." She smiled at Sara, "For a long time they were the only ones. Then I met Ted, and he's been my best friend since my first gig. He was the guitarist for the other band that was playing. And now I have you," She smiled, "and that is pretty awesome."

"I'm glad you think that's awesome." Tegan looked at Sara's eyes and she could see happiness creep into view.

"Te amo." Tegan looked at Sara waiting for a response.

"I love you too, Tegan." Sara smiled back at her.

"You understood that?" She raised an eyebrow in question.

"Rihanna has a song called Te amo." Tegan laughed.

"I forgot about that. So you like Rihanna?"

"She's hot and talented. Who doesn't?"

"True." Tegan laughed and continued eating.

The rest of the evening they talked about their favorite bands. It was mostly Indie rock and pop music. Tegan was happier then she had ever been. She smiled the entire time they sat there eating and talking. She knew Sara was the person she wanted to be with.

"So," Sara said as they finished eating, "Back to your place?"

"Now who's the confident one?" Tegan smirked, "Thinking I enjoyed tonight enough to take you home."

"Oh," Sara retorted, "I know you enjoyed it enough. There is no way you couldn't."

"That's true." She smiled at Sara, "Just let me put this stuff in the kitchen."

She cleared the table and then led Sara to her car. She turned it on and drove Sara to her apartment.


	9. The Secret Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tegan and Sara find out Ted has a secret

They got to Tegan's apartment at around one thirty in the morning. Tegan was tired but she didn't want to sleep, she just wanted to spend the whole night with Sara.

"Do you have more big plans for me tonight?" Sara smirked as they entered the small apartment.

"Only if you're ready." Tegan looked longingly into Sara's eyes.

Sara just smiled for her answer and began to unbutton her shirt.

"Let me help with that." Tegan attached her lips to Sara's and she finished unbuttoning her shirt. Sara made quick work of Tegan's shirt and slid it off her shoulders. Without breaking the kiss, Tegan guided Sara back toward her bed and slowly laid her down on it, Tegan only pulling away to pull off her undershirt. She straddled Sara, topless aside from her plain black bra, and leaned in close, "Ti piace quello che vedi?"

"I don't know what you said. But whatever it was I like it."

Tegan smirked at the response, "Good, because I asked if you like what you see."

"Oh I definitely do," She gripped Tegan's sides with both hands, "Although I'd like to see some more."

"Come si desidera." Tegan responded and undid her bra. Sara's hands immediately found their way to Tegan's now exposed breasts.

She smiled up at Tegan, "You're absolutely beautiful."

Tegan smiled in response and then leaned down for another kiss. She pulled away after several seconds of the heated kiss, "Now it's your turn."

"What if I don't want to." Sara sent Tegan a sly smile, "But there is a way you might convince me."

"Ora e il tuo turno."

"Much better." Sara quickly pulled her own bra off. Tegan then started kissing her way down. First she kissed her lips, then her jaw, several kisses to her neck, all long her collarbone, a kiss in between her breasts, and then she took Sara's left nipple in her mouth and gently sucked on it. Then she gave the right one the same treatment.

She looked back up at Sara, "Tonight's about you. It's my thank you for the last time." Sara gave her a small nod. Tegan then made her way down, kissing a trail from in between Sara's breasts down to the top of her jeans. She undid the button and looked back at Sara for confirmation. Sara smiled and nodded. Tegan slowly, painstakingly, pulled Sara's jeans down centimeters at a time. She smirked after seeing Sara's reaction. Sara was lying there doing everything in her power to not pull down the jeans herself and get it over with. She gripped the sheets tightly and lifted her head up and watched her jeans being pulled down in agony. Tegan finished pulling them down and then made her way back up to Sara's face.

"Do you want more?" She teased her.

"Please." Sara whimpered.

"If that's what you want." Tegan kissed her gently, and then kissed her way down, again.

She took her time, studying Sara's body with her lips. She gave each nipple a playful lick and the slowly worked her down her abdomen. She then got to Sara's boy shorts. She smiled, victorious, as she pulled them down quickly, revealing Sara completely. She teased Sara's slit with one finger. Sara gasped and begged for more. So she slowly slid her finger in. Sara let out a low moan and bucked her hips ever so slightly. Tegan smiled and added a second finger.

"Oh God!" Sara let out a cry of pleasure.

Tegan smiled and, leaving her fingers pumping into Sara, made her way back up to silence her with a passionate kiss. Sara broke away from the kiss and leaned her head into the crook of Tegan's neck as Tegan began to work faster, rubbing with her thumb as she pumped into Sara. She felt Sara bite down on her shoulder. She curled her fingers, reaching up, and Sara let out another gasp and moan.

"I'm getting close Teg…Tegan." She whimpered into Tegan's ear.

Tegan used her free hand to pull Sara's head away from her shoulder and attached their lips again. Sara started to buck hard into Tegan's palm.

"I'm coming." She let out a final cry of pleasure and her juices flowed over Tegan's hand, "Thank you Tegan. I love you so much."

"I love you too," Tegan smiled at her and gave her another kiss, "Mia bella angelo."

Tegan brought her fingers to her mouth, smelling and tasting Sara. Sara moaned at the sight.

"You taste so good Sara." Tegan smiled down at her, "Now let's get some sleep."

For the first time in memory Tegan slept through the whole night. When she woke up she felt rested. She looked over at the naked form next to her. She smiled and kissed Sara's bare shoulder. Sara started to move and Tegan attached her lips to Sara's neck.

"Good morning." Sara smiled and turning toward her.

"Good morning bella." Tegan smiled, loving that her girlfriend had decided to use the Italian word.

"Let's get dressed and go get coffee." Tegan started to get out of bed.

"But I want to stay right here next to you all day." She reached out for Tegan in an attempt to drag her back to bed.

"It's already past noon." Tegan stood up and put on a new pair of boxers and a bra, "So get up, if you want to wear other clothes just grab some."

"Fine." Sara pouted and then got ready for the day. She grabbed a pair of skinny jeans and a plain maroon t shirt and then went and took a shower.

Tegan decided on a dark v neck, skinny jeans, and her leather jacket. As soon as Sara came out of the bathroom she smiled, "You ready?"

"I guess."

They went down to the coffee shop. They were surprised when they opened the door. Ted was sitting at a small table wearing a nice suit and talking to a man who looked like a traditional businessman. Ted was being shown a bunch of papers and quickly glanced over them before nodding and saying something. Both he and the other man got up and shook hands. Then Ted saw Tegan and Sara in the doorway and froze, a deer in the headlights look on his face.

"Hey Ted." Tegan greeted him.

"Hi guys…" He looked nervous, "What are you doing here?"

"Ted, my apartment is thirty feet above this."

"Oh yeah." He smiled nervously.

"What are you up to?" Sara asked motioning to the man who had just walked past them and out the door.

"Just a meeting." He tried to shrug it off.

"What kind of meeting?" Sara pried.

"A business meeting." Ted shifted his weight nervously.

"For The Hap?" Tegan eyed him suspiciously, "I was unaware that you had business meetings for a bar that you run single handedly."

"Well…" Ted began nervously looking around the coffee shop, "It isn't about my bar. It's about my businesses."

"Your what?" Tegan and Sara asked in unison.

"Remember when I met you and I told you that my dad had just died and it was really hard on me?"

"Yeah."

"Well, it was hard on me because I had to give up my pursuit of a music career to run his businesses."

"You inherited businesses and never told me?" Tegan was starting to get pissed.

"I didn't want you to hate me for being a spoiled rich kid." Ted looked at his shoes and then back up to Tegan.

"Why would I hate you?" She laughed, "Now I know why you always buy me stuff."

"Just don't tell everyone at the bar, okay?"

"We won't tell anyone Ted." Tegan assured him.

"Thank you. Now I have to go though…" Ted eyed the door, "I have a lot of business to deal with."

"Okay Ted, I'll see you tonight." Tegan smiled at him and then stepped in line.

"He's rich?" Sara was shocked.

"Apparently."

They got to the front of the line and Lindsey greeted them, "Hey you guys. Sara, sweaty, you look like you're in shock."

"Um…I'm just tired."

"Okay, what do you guys want?"

"I want a sixteen ounce mocha." Sara ordered first.

"I just want a twelve ounce drip."

"Okay, is that all?" She smiled at the two of them.

"Yes, thank you Lindsey." Tegan smiled and paid.

"Well, enjoy your coffee."

They sat and talked for a little while as they drank their coffee.

"I still can't believe he's rich." Sara shook her head in disbelief.

"It explains so much though." Tegan mulled it over, "When he said he was gonna start a bar I told him there was no way he could afford to. But he started The Hap anyway. And now I know how. It all makes sense."

"I guess it does." Sara agreed, "But it's still weird."

Tegan decided to change the subject, "You should see if Ted will let you open for me every weekend."

"What? No way." Sara shook her head.

"Why? You were really good. And the people liked you." Tegan pleaded.

"No. I feel nervous performing in front of all those people."

"It's not that many people."

"It is to me."

Tegan slouched in defeat. That's when she remembered something Sara had said, "Si prega di giocare nei fine settimana."

"Fine," Tegan smiled widely.

"It's gonna be fun!" Sara couldn't help but smile back.


	10. Back At The Bar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tegan and Sara perform again. And get a surprise

After coffee Sara walked back to her apartment to get prepared for playing that night. Tegan called Ted immediately after he left and asked if Sara could play again and he said it was fine. So now Sara was searching through her old notebooks for more songs she could play. She found a few that were finished and picked up her guitar to try and play them. She spent a few hours trying to remember how she played them originally, and she made some changes when she wasn't happy with the sound. She was nervous. She felt like all of the people there would judge her if she made any mistakes or if she sung anything too cheesy. After finally deciding what she would play she called Tegan to pick her up.

"Hey Tegan." She smiled as she said her name.

"Hey there. You ready?"

"I'm nervous, but I'm ready as I'll ever be."

"There's no need to be nervous. You'll be incredible. You'll steal the show." Tegan's words worked to calm her nerves a bit.

"Thank you. But there is no way I'll steal the show from you."

"You keep telling yourself that." Tegan laughed into the phone.

"Oh I will." Sara chuckled.

"Well, I'm heading to my car so I'll be there in a few."

"Okay." She hung up the phone and looked around for what to wear.

She smiled to herself when she saw her heels at the foot of her bed. She put on a pair of leggings and a loosed shirt with her leather jacket over it and then put on her high heels. Not long after she got dressed there was a knock on the door.

"Hey Tegan." She greeted when she opened the door.

"Hi Sar….oh God." Tegan looked up and down Sara's body and bit her lip, "You look incredible."

"Thank you," She took a minute to check Tegan out. Black leather jacket, dark red button up, black skinny jeans and a tie, "You look so much better though." She grabbed Tegan's tie and pulled her in for a kiss, "You ready to go?"

"Uh…yeah…sure, let's go." Tegan stood for a second and then turned to walk down to her car.

"I'm so nervous Tee." Sara breathed out as she got in the car.

"Don't be babe." Tegan grabbed her hand to reassure her, "You'll be great. Trust me."

"Okay."

They arrived at The Hap a few minutes later and the parking lot was already filling up, "Jesus! We don't even open for another five minutes and it's already packed." Tegan drove through the crowded parking lot and found a spot right in front of the door. It had a sign that read, 'Reserved: Tegan and Sara.'

"Gotta love Ted." She laughed as she parked her car, "Come on, let's get you ready to perform."

They walked through the front door, "Ted it's already packed out there!"

"Yeah, isn't it great?" He had a huge smiled on his face.

"It's just, that many people don't usually show up this early."

"Yeah Ted," Tegan eyed him, "Is there a reason there are so many people here."

He tried to act nonchalant and shrugged, "Maybe they are here to see you guys perform."

"Jesus Christ Ted!" Sara shouted at him.

"Did you send out some sort of invite?" Tegan looked at him questioning.

"I might have posted it to a few sites." He shrugged again.

"Ted." Tegan said sternly.

"Okay, so I put it on Facebook, twitter, The Hap's website…and maybe a half dozen others."

"Why?" Sara was in shock.

"I just thought people should see you guys perform." He smiled and then added, "You guys are really good. You deserve some recognition."

"I'm gonna kill you Ted." Sara walked away to get ready to perform.

Ted just smiled at Tegan who was shaking her head, and then he opened the doors.

"Welcome everyone, in just a few moments we'll have a live performance from Sara Clement, followed by a performance by Tegan Quin."

There was a good deal of cheering at the news. Tegan was shocked. There were at least fifty people already there, all of them seemed interested in the music, and people were still arriving. Among them was someone that Tegan recognized. She couldn't put a name to the face. But she knew him, or at least knew who was. He seemed out of place, almost like he had never been to a gay bar before. She didn't have much time to think about him because Sara took the stage.

"Hi everyone." She looked frightened, "I'm Sara Clement." A good deal of cheering with a few cat calls greeted her, "I'm going to play a few songs for you, and then Tegan is going to come on stage and play her set." More cheering.

"Well, here it goes, enjoy the show." She smiled, getting more confident.

"If you're gonna get up, you might as well get up with me

If you're going downtown, I might as well be on your way."

After the song ended everyone gave her a round of applause. She was shocked, people actually liked her music.

"Thank you." She smiled at the audience, "Do you want to hear another?"

"Of course!" She heard Lindsey and Emy shout in unison.

"Alright then."

"You in a simple gray coat

In a simple white room

Now you know you know it now and so

Now you know you know it now."

Even more people had arrived during the song, and again, everyone cheered.

"Alright, one more song and then Tegan will take the stage."

"I've got nowhere to go

I've got nowhere to go

Don't move so slow

Don't move so slow

Don't move so slow."

"Thank you so much everyone!" She beamed out at the audience, "Now give it up for Tegan Quin!"

There was a lot of cheering. Tegan grabbed her Baby Taylor and walked on stage.

"Hey everybody!" She waved at the people, "Sara was great wasn't she?" Everyone at the bar gave her another round of applause.

"Alright, I hope you guys enjoy my set, cause that is a tough act to follow."

"From hundreds of miles you cry like a baby

You plead with me, shout, scream, tell me I'm staying

I know I know I know, I'm still your love."

Tegan's entire set went well, and she felt good about herself. And that was something she wasn't all that used to. During her set she noticed that the man who had walked in, and looked out of place, was writing things down in a small notebook. I know him from somewhere. Why can't I remember where?

After she finished playing she walked up to the bar.

"Hey Ted I'd like a Jack and Coke please."

He got it for her and she started to drink looking around the bar, "This place is really crowded tonight Ted."

"It's because of you guys." He wiped down part of the counter, "A lot of people came because of the music."

She turned to respond to him when someone walked up and spoke, "Hi, my names Chris."

It was the guy Tegan had noticed, "Tegan. Nice to meet you."

"It's nice to meet you, and you're Sara, right?" He asked as Sara made her way to where Tegan was sitting.

"Yeah, nice to meet you." She shook his hand.

"I was wanting to talk to you guys about a business opportunity, so if you stay around till the crowd dies down I'd love to talk to you guys." He smiled.

"Sure, we usually close around midnight or one." Sara smiled back at him, "Most people don't stay here too late."

"Sounds good. I'll talk to you then." He smiled and walked back to the booth he had been sitting at.

"I know him from somewhere." Tegan said as she turned to face Sara.

"He does look a little familiar." Sara agreed, "Looks like people need me." She motioned to the other end of the counter where a group of women were holding up empty shot glasses and shouting out another round.

The bar was busy, so Tegan didn't get many chances to talk with Sara, but she had fun with Lindsey and Emy.

"You were great tonight Tegan!" Emy pulled her into a huge hug.

"Thanks Emy."

"Yeah, you guys were both awesome." Lindsey smiled and gave her a hug.

"Thank you." Tegan smiled at both of them, "How've you guys been?"

"We've been great." Emy had a huge smile as she spoke, "We've been experimenting a bit." She raised her eyebrow meaningfully.

"Jesus Em!" Lindsey rolled her eyes, "She doesn't need to hear about that."

"It's okay Linds," Tegan couldn't help but laugh, "She's obviously drunk."

"Unfortunately, she isn't that drunk. This is her mostly sober." Lindsey chuckled.

"It's true." Emy smiled wide, "You should hear what I say when I am drunk. Lots of details." She raised her eyebrow again.

"Just stop Emy." Lindsey started to blush.

"Don't worry Linds." Emy rubber her shoulder, "I'll only tell her details if she wants them."

"I think I'm good Emy." Tegan rolled her eyes.

"So…" Emy looked at Tegan as if she was trying to communicate telepathically, "How've you guys been."

"We've been fine Emy. That's all you need to know."

"Whatever." Emy said playfully, "You know that's not true."

"Emy you're gonna scare her away." Lindsey mouthed a sorry to Tegan.

"Am not." She turned and kissed Lindsey.

"I'll leave you guys alone now." Tegan started to back away.

"Good, because I only say the details, I don't show them." Lindsey's face went beat red.

Tegan laughed and walked back to the bar. The rest of the night was uneventful. A lot of drunk women hit on her, and she noticed that Sara had the same thing happening to her. God, they are acting like we're some kind of famous.

When everyone had left it was just after one. Sara grabbed a rag and some cleaning supplies and went to work on the tables.

"Can we talk now?" Chris asked as she walked by him.

"Sure." She turned toward the bar where Tegan was sitting half asleep, "Tegan!"

Tegan walked over to the booth and sat down.

"So, I have an offer for you guys, and I'm really hoping you agree to it," He took a breath, "Because this will be good for business on my end and yours."

"Okay," Tegan perked up, "I'm listening."

Ted put music on, like he did every time he cleaned up. Tegan heard 'Brothers on a Hotel Bed' start and then she realized why she knew Chris.

"You're Chris Walla!" She shouted in shock, "From Death Cab For Cutie!"

"Yeah, and I also own a production company." He smiled and added, "I think you guys can see where I'm going with this."

"You want us to record in your studio?" Sara was completely shocked.

"Yes, but under one condition." His face went to a grave expression.

"What's that?" Tegan was nervous for the first time since the conversation started.

"I'd like you guys to record together," He gave it a moment for it to sink in, "As a band. I can record guitar and bass for you guys if you don't have anyone in mind."

Tegan looked over at Ted, "We might have a guitarist. I'll have to ask him though." She pointed over at Ted.

"So, do you guys want to do it?"

"When do you want us to record?" Sara finally got over the shock of the offer.

"Whenever you're ready." He smiled at the two girls in front of him.

"Then yes," Tegan answered then quickly turned to Sara, "Unless you don't want to."

"Are you kidding?" Sara's face was now just one huge smile, "Of course I want to!"

"Okay then." Chris smiled and pulled out his wallet, "Here's my card. Call me when you're ready."


	11. Asking Favors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tegan and Sara try to get some friends to join their band

After shaking Chris' hand Tegan walked over to Ted. She was nervous, but she knew that Ted would love to play guitar again.

"Hey Ted," She smiled as she walked up to where he was wiping down the counter, "I have a question."

"What's up Tee?" He looked up from his work and gave her his full attention.

He nerves started to kick in from the mix of excitement at the opportunity, and the fear of Ted being too busy to help them out, "Would you like to play guitar again?"

"You know I'd love to Tegan," He looked more serious at that moment than Tegan remembered him being when she first met him, "But I'm way too busy, unless this is like a one night thing."

She felt her hopes fall straight to the depths of her stomach and her insides twisted around each other. Tegan thought for a minute that she would actually throw up because of his reaction.

"Are you okay?" Ted's demeanor changed immediately from the stressed business man to the concerned big brother, "You don't look so good Tee. Let me get you a Sprite or something."

"Thanks…" Tegan mumbled as she sat down on the nearest stool.

"Here." He handed her a Sprite, "What's wrong?"

"I was really hoping you could play guitar again."

"Why is this suddenly so important?"

"Because that man that Sara and I were talking to was Chris Walla," She could see Ted wracking his brains, trying to figure out why he knew the name, "From Death Cab For Cutie. He's also a producer, and he wants us to record at his studio in Seattle."

"Shit! Seriously?" Ted had a Cheshire grin, "That's incredible!"

"So," Tegan joined him in smiling, "Do you want to come down and record some guitar?"

"I'd love to!" Ted looked like a five year old who had been invited to Legoland, "When?"

"Whenever we're ready." She smiled even wider, "So we'll let you know in time for you to find someone to hold down the fort."

"Sounds like a plan." He gave her a hug over the counter, "I'm so proud of you Tegan. I knew you could make it."

"Thanks Ted."

She walked back over to where Sara was cleaning a few booths.

"Hey bella." Sara said when she saw Tegan approach.

"Hi there angel." Tegan smiled, "Can you believe what just happened?"

"Hell no!" Sara broke into a huge smile, "It's way too good to believe."

"I know!"

Tegan then said goodbye and drove home. She spent almost the whole night collecting old notebooks filled with lyrics, and even tried writing down a few new songs. She finally passed out at around five.

Sara, on the other hand, went to bed immediately, expecting to wake up from a dream when she did so. But when she woke up in the morning she knew it had really happened. So she called her only friend to give him the news.

"Hey Sara." Shaun answered after just one ring.

"Hey Shaun." She smiled as memories of Montreal came to her, "I have huge news!"

"Is it about Tegan?" She could hear his excitement.

"In a way, yes."

"Well, what is it?" Shaun had always been eager and a little impatient.

"Tegan and I are gonna record in Seattle!"

"Holy god!" He half shouted, "That's awesome Sara!"

"Yeah! And our producer is Chris Walla from Death Cab."

"That's fantastic!"

"So," She took a moment to think of how to word her question, "Do you think you can play bass for us?"

"Sara I don't know." She heard a hint of sadness in his voice.

"I thought you loved playing bass. You used to say you would play in a rock band."

"But that was before." She felt tears enter her eyes, "I haven't played since."

"Please Shaun?"

"I don't think I can Sara."

"Jess would want you to." She had tears spilling out now.

"You can't just say that every time you want me to do something. It's not fair." She could tell her was trying to hold his emotions in.

"But you know it's true. She supported your bass playing better than anyone. She went to your bands shows; she bought you a new bass for your birthday when your old one was starting to get to worn out. You can't just let her last present to you sit in a closet untouched. She bought it so you'd be able to keep playing." She was crying freely and she could hear the sobs from the other end of the phone as well.

"Dammit Sara." She heard him chuckle amidst his pain, "You're right. And I know you're right. But I can't just leave Montreal to record."

She had feared that answer, "Please, it's just a weekend."

"I'll make deal with you."

"Okay."

"If you record an album, and get over ten thousand sails in three months, I'll play with you on tour." She couldn't refuse that offer.

"Deal." One less musician to look for, "One thing though."

"What's that?"

"If I haven't told Tegan about Jess by then, you can't tell her."

"That's fine by me Sara. Congratulations on your recording opportunity."

"Thanks Shaun. I'll call you again soon."

"Alright. Bye."

"Bye." She hung up and laid back down. She thought back to all her good times in Montreal with her best friend.

\--"Come on Sara it'll be fun!" Jessie wined at her best friend as she tugged at her sleeve.

"Oh come on." She rolled her eyes, "I've seen his band play before. They aren't even that good."

"Yes," Jess agreed, "But he's my big brother! I have to support his music career!"

"Fine. I'll go on one condition." She knew Jessie would agree to anything.

"Okay, what is it?" Sara smiled know she had won.

"You have to ask Amanda out." She laughed at the look of dread on her friend's face.

"No way!" She giggled, "She's straight! She'd say no."

"So?" Sara shrugged, "You're the one with a crush on her."

"Fine, but you have to promise me you'll listen to Tegan Quin. I know you'll like her music."

"Deal." Sara smiled, she had been listening to Tegan ever since Jessie and Shaun showed her the cover of Tegan's EP.

Jessie turned and walked across the student lounge. Sara watched as she talked to Amanda, a girl they had English with last semester. She giggled as she watched her best friend turn beat red and mumble something. Then she actually laughed out of shock when Amanda nodded her head and handed Jess a slip of paper.

"Turns out she's bi." Jess mumbled as she sat back down next to Sara.

"So basically you're saying that you owe me one." Sara smirked.

"Fine. I owe you one." Jess rolled her eyes and laughed.

Four hours later they were at a bar filled with students form their college. Shaun's band was playing and everyone was having a good time.

"They aren't so bad when you're drunk." Sara slurred as she hung onto her best friend's shoulder.

"Maybe I'll drink just so they don't sound so bad then." She laughed and grabbed the Martini out of Sara's hand and downed it in one swig.

"That was mine you asshole!" Sara laughed and shoved her friend, "I'll go get us more."

"Sounds good." Jess smiled and turned to watch her brother on stage. He was playing his heart out. He was always so much happier when he was playing bass; which is why she had bought him a new two weeks ago. He was so happy on that day. He told everyone it was the best birthday he had ever had. Now Jess took pried as she watched him play his new bass with precision and a lot of passion.

"I'm back!" Sara smiled and handed her a Martini.

"Thanks." She took a little more time drinking this one.

After an hour or so of hanging out Jess decided it was time to go home.

"Hey Sar! I'm gonna leave now." She called out to her friend.

"Really? Cause Shaun said there was an after party and I really wanted to go." Sara made puppy dog eyes at her friend.

"Okay, give me your keys and I'll drive you there. Then I'm walking home."

Sara agreed immediately and tossed her keys to Jess. They drove ten minutes to the lead singer's house and got out of the car.

"Are you sure you don't want to stay?" Sara begged again.

"Yeah I'm fine. I just am really tired and I have some homework to finish." Shaun walked out the door as she finished talking, "Bye Shaun you did good tonight."

"You're leaving?" He looked a little upset about it, "Do you need me to drive you back to your place?"

"Shaun you're drunk." She laughed at him, "I'll be safer walking."

"True." He smiled at her, "I'll see you tomorrow then."

She waved goodbye and gave Sara a quick hug.--

Sara sat in her apartment and cried. That had been the last time she had seen her best friend. And that was the memory that always came readily to the front of her mind. She knew it would do her good to see Shaun again. Maybe a reminder of her friend was what she needed, something that gave her a clear connection. She smiled when she thought about hanging out with Shaun again. Maybe she'd be able to remember the happier times with him around.

Tegan called her Grandpa as soon as she woke up.

"Tegan!" He always talked with a smile.

"Ciao Nonno." She greeted, "I have good news."

"What is it?"

"I am going to professionally record an album."

"That's magnifico!" He turned away from the phone and shouted, "Il nostro nipote sta per essere famoso!"

"Slow down Nonno." She chuckled, "I'm not going to be famous. But I will be getting a better income than I am right now."

"I'm so proud of you Tegan. Your mamma would be too."

"Thank you Nonno." She smiled thinking about the times her mom was happy, "Tell Nonna I love her."

"Okay."

"Arrivederci."

"Arrivederci."

She hung up and smiled to herself. It was the opportunity of a lifetime. And it had been offered to her. Well, her and her girlfriend. She smiled at the thought, she would get to record an album and possibly tour with the prettiest woman she had ever met. She never saw her life going this well. Or at least, not before she was much older. She was only twenty-five and she had direction in life for the first time.


	12. Help Stop The Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both girls have painful memories (Domestic violence and death in this chapter)

\--Sara laughed at the antics of the lead singer of Shaun's band, he was currently trying to walk on his hands from one side of the room to the other. Shaun's phone started to ring but he was passed out drunk on the couch so she decided to answer it.

"Hello?" She answered trying to stop herself from laughing.

"Hello." A voice she didn't know spoke back to her, "We're trying to contact Shaun Huberts."

"He's currently sleeping." She tried to sound professional, this man sounded important.

"Are you a friend of his?"

"Yes. I've known him since junior high."

"Well," The man paused she could hear the weight in his words, "It would be better for him to hear this from a friend then."

"Hear what?" She started to get concerned.

"It's about Jessica."

"What happened?" Sara's mind was reeling and thinking of all the things that might have happened, she could have been mugged or raped.

"Ma'am I'm sorry about this," She could tell that he truly was, he didn't sound like someone who usually gave bad news, "But she was hit by a car while crossing the street."

Sara felt her body go numb from shock. There were tears pouting out of her eyes, "I-is she ok-ay?" She choked out the words.

"I'm sorry." He apologized again, "But the paramedics were too late to help her. I'm afraid she didn't make it."

She dropped the phone and collapsed on the floor. The whole mood of the room changed in an instant. Even though everyone was drunk they could still tell something was wrong.

"Sara what's wrong?" She heard the lead singer say from a couple feet away.

"Jessie." That's all she could say. Her mind was unraveling. She just sat on the floor clutching at the remnants of her friend. Hoping that if she tried hard enough she could pull her back, or she could rewind and decide to go home with her; anything that could save her friend.

"What happened to her?" He leaned closer to her and hugged her, "Is she okay?"

Sara shook her head. She couldn't say anything. Her voice was caught in her throat and her stomach tied into knots. She shook her head harder and let all her tears run free.

"Oh my God! Somebody wake up Shaun. Tell him to call the hospital. Now!" One of the guys shook Shaun awake.

"Come on guys just let me sle- Sara?" He looked down at her, "Are you okay? Are you hurt?"

"It's Jess Shaun. Something happened to her." The singer answered for her, "Call the hospital."

"What do you mean something happened to her?" He was in shock, but it was nothing compared to what he was about to experience, "Dylan what happened?"

"I don't know. Sara just said her name when I asked what was wrong."

Shaun picked up his phone and noticed that it was in the middle of a call, "Hello?"

"Hello…who is this?" The man on the other end asked.

"This is Shaun."

"Oh…" The man sounded too serious for Shaun's liking, "Did your friend tell you?"

"No, she's collapsed on the floor crying. She said something about my sister though."

"Sir I'm sorry, and I hate that you have to hear this from me," He paused to steady his breathing, "Your sister, Jessica, was hit by a car on her way home tonight. She didn't make it."

Shaun launched his phone across the room shattering it on the brick fireplace. "God Dammit!" He turned and punched the wall, leaving a permanent indent, "Why? Why?" He broke down and held onto Sara for dear life.

The two of them sat in the living room like that for what felt like days.

Sara spent the next week in complete shock. Everywhere she went in the apartment she saw Jessie's stuff. Her music, pictures, and her unmade bed; she closed the door to Jessie's bedroom after a couple of days hoping that she'd walk passed again and it would be open, Jess sitting on her bed. After that week if pain she decided she'd had enough. She started drinking herself to sleep every night, hoping the whiskey would deaden the pain. It only made it worse.--

Sara woke up in a sweat. She immediately started crying. She knew she had to call Tegan. She leaned to her nightstand and grabbed her phone.

\--"Hey baby girl." Gabriel smiled down at his five year old daughter, "Are you ready for your first day of school?"

"Yes daddy!" She jumped up and down. She was going to school, she would make friends and learn exciting things.

"That's my girl. Always happy." He smiled at her again, he really had a great smile. His whole face smiled. His eyes shown and his teeth practically glistened, "Let's get in the car and I'll drop you off!"

"Okay daddy." She smiled and ran to the back seat of the car.

They made the drive to school in only a few minutes, and they sang Old McDonald's Farm together the whole time. Tegan loved when she got to do things with her daddy.

He rolled down the window as she got out of the car, "I'll see you when I get home from work. Have a great day, okay sweaty?"

"Okay daddy! Bye bye!" She waved and then walked in through the door.

Her mom picked her up after school and Tegan told her all about her first day and her new friends. Her mom just smiled and listened. When Gabriel got home Tegan thought he looked sick.

"Daddy's not feeling well." He said to her gruffly when she tried to sit on his lap.

She didn't know how to react to this. He was always so happy, always so healthy.

A week later he came home angry. She had never seen him angry. She was terrified and hid under her bed, but she still heard the shouting.

"Shut up bitch!" She heard a slap followed by a yelp, "It's your goddammed fault I was fired. You kept making me take her to school every day. They fired me for being late. You hear that? So much for taking time out of my day to see my daughter, now I'll have plenty of time. Because I lost my fucking job!" Tegan heard another loud smack. This time it didn't stop at one. She could hear him hitting her over and over. Screaming at her, blaming her for his troubles.--

"No! Stop hitting her! It's not her fault!" Tegan screamed herself awake. Before she could calm herself and settle back into her bed her phone rang.

"Hello?" She answered it groggily.

"Hi Tegan." Sara sounded like she was crying.

"Baby what's wrong?"

"Can you come over? I need to tell you something in person."

"Yeah, yeah, of course." She answered hurriedly, "I'll be there in ten minutes."

"Thank you."

Tegan put on a pair of shoes and grabbed her keys before running out the door. She got her car and drove as fast as she could to get to Sara's apartment.

There was the knock on the door and Sara answered it.

"What's wrong Sara?" Tegan hugged her.

"I need to tell you about my past."

"Okay," Tegan gave her a half smile and sat down on her bed, patting the empty space next to her, "I'll just sit and listen."

"Thank you," She sat down, nerves running high, emotions as well, "Remember when I mentioned my best friend the other day?" Tegan nodded. "Well, her name was Jessie. She was the best person I've ever met. When she came out in tenth grade nobody judged her. No one could. There was just something about her that everyone liked. My parent's hated that she was gay though. I was no longer allowed to go to her house, and she couldn't come to mine. But we still were best friends through all of high school. We applied at all the same colleges. We were ecstatic when we got accepted to the same one. After deciding to share an apartment in the area, I came out to my parents. So they kicked me out. And I lived with Jessie. We had the best times at college. Then in the middle of our junior year something happened." She took a deep breath, not wanting to continue, but knowing she had to say it, "We went to her brother's concert and after she drove me to the after party she said she wanted to go home. Her brother, Shaun, offered to drive her, but he was already drunk. She tossed me my keys and walked away. Later that night Shaun got a call. She had been hit by a car on her way home." Sara choked back tears, "They said she died almost immediately. I started drinking after that. I spent most of my junior year wasted. I somehow managed to graduate. And I found work as a bartender. After Shaun finally got me to stop drinking myself to oblivion, I decided I needed to leave. About a year later I made the cross country trip. I stopped for several weeks in different cities, but none of them felt right; until I made it here, but I can't run away from my pain. I need you to help me out. I need you to comfort me. Please?"

"Of course I will." Tegan pulled her in for a hug, "Let's just sleep. Okay?"

"Okay." Sara smiled and got under the covers. Tegan followed suit, hugging her from behind as Sara drifted off to sleep.

"Oh Sara," Tegan said to the sleeping form beside her, "I'm so sorry about your friend." She then let herself fall asleep. Her mind was filled with pain that night. Her dreams weren't happy. Even the ones with Sara were bad dreams. She woke up at four a.m. after dreaming about Gabriel beating Sara. She had to look around and convince herself it was only a dream. When she saw Sara's face, she saw nothing but peace, and it eased her mind. She slept well for the last few hours of the night. But before she slept she decided that she needed to call Chris Walla when she woke up. They both needed to get busy with something outside of their ordinary lives.


	13. Trying To Move On...And Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sara contacts someone from her past and Tegan takes care of business

When Sara woke up the next morning her bed was empty. She panicked for a second before she saw the note. 'I'm having coffee with Chris Walla. I called him and he said we could get some details done over coffee. I'll be back around 11:30.' Sara looked at the clock. It was ten thirty. Her mind wandered back to her memory from the night before. She reached for her phone and dialed the all too familiar numbers that she hadn't called for several months. She worked her breathing to keep herself calm.

"Hello?" The now familiar comforting voice answered after a few rings.

"Hello. Is this Courtney?" She knew the answer, but she thought it would be polite to make sure.

"Yes, this is he." His soothing voice responded, "Who is this?"

"It's Sara."

"Sara?" She could hear his shock, "How've you been? I haven't heard from you in months!"

"I've been doing well, actually. I'm sorry it's been so long. But I'm sure you've been okay with a break from me crying and screaming at you." She smiled even though she had tears in her eyes. She had missed calling him.

"I could never miss that Sara." She didn't know how he did it, but he never got mad at her. Even when she accused him of being at fault in Jessie's death, he took it all in stride and just listened as she cried, "It was better me than Shaun. I don't think he could have taken the blame on that. Not well at least."

"I just wanted to thank you for helping me through the toughest years of my life."

"It was my pleasure Sara." She knew it had been, she knew that he was okay with how she had treated him.

"I met someone." She smiled her pain leaving momentarily.

"Oh? Is she good for you?" Somewhere in their relationship he had become protective of her, making sure she didn't put herself in bad relationships and jobs.

"She's fantastic for me." She smiled again, "Her name's Tegan. She's a musician."

"Is she the Tegan?" She had told him a lot about her during her pain, Tegan's music had been a security blanket for her.

"Yes. And she's absolutely incredible."

"Well that's awesome!" She could hear the sincere joy he felt at this news.

"Yeah, and we're going to record an album together."

"So you finally picked your guitar back up?" She could tell he was on the verge of tears at this news, not sad tears, no, but happy, joy filled tears.

"Yes." A few happy tears ran down her cheeks, "And it's been wonderful. I performed at the bar I work at, and people loved it."

"So I was right?" He joked with her, "I always told you that you star potential."

"You did, yes." She laughed at the memories, "But that was because you were afraid I'd get too depressed without positive re-enforcement."

"And I was right about that too." He sounded serious, soothing, and strong. The way he had always sounded after the first few weeks of calls.

"You probably were."

"Where do you live now?"

"Vancouver."

"All the way across country, eh?" He chuckled, "You ran all the way across the country and found love? Not many people have done that."

"No, I suppose they haven't." There was brief silence, "I'm sorry again…for all that time, all the shouting and all the blame."

"I forgive you Sara. But only if you promise me that you're done blaming yourself." He sounded just like he used to.

"Then who do I blame?" The emotions inside her were on a rollercoaster ride. Unfortunately, it was a ride that spent most of the time going down.

"No one Sara, you blame no one." He gave her a moment to let the words sink in, "It was alcohol. It impaired her decision making, no one is at fault."

"Are you sure?" She didn't know how to respond, "I've been blaming myself and Shaun ever since it happened. Are you sure?"

"I'm sure Sara. It's not healthy to blame yourself. You can't change what happened. And your decision to have a fun night did not cause it. Got it?" He was calm and very sure of what he said.

"Thank you Courtney, I need to hear that every once in a while."

"A lot of people do." He would know, in his line of work there were a lot of people blaming themselves for injury, death, and even illness.

"How's work been?"

"It's never been as bad as that night." He honestly meant that, and it was good to hear that he hadn't had to deal with anything as painful as that night, "That was the only time I ever delivered news as shocking and sudden as that. But if it happens again, God forbid, I know how to handle it. You helped me with that."

"I'm glad things have been better." No one should have to deliver that kind of news, especially not a recent med school graduate who was working his first night in ER. He usually worked on one of the top floors, and nothing had prepared him for the ER that night, "I'll call you again soon. And not to yell, I'm done doing that. But I'd love to know how everything's going."

"And I would like to have some more details of how life is like in the West."

"Bye Courtney, keep your head up, don't get surprised by anything, and stay as strong as you have always been for me."

"I will Sara. You know I will. And don't you go blaming yourself or Shaun anymore. And be happy with Tegan. I'll talk to you soon." She smiled and thanked him yet again before hanging up.

Tegan walked into Bold Brews and quickly went up to the counter.

"Alone today, that's different." Lindsey smiled at her and batted her eyes.

"I have a business meeting."

"What kind of 'business'?" Lindsey was completely intrigued.

"If it goes as planned I'll let you know what it's about." She smiled and ordered a mocha.

"I'll want details!" Lindsey called out as Tegan walked to the barista's side of the counter.

"Hey, if you won't let Emy give me details why would I give you details?" Tegan responded with a grin.

"Not those kind of details!" Lindsey blushed and helped the next person in line.

Tegan chuckled to herself over her own quick wit and sat down at her corner table. She impatiently checked her phone for the time several times before Chris finally walked into the little café.

"Hey Chris." She waved in greeting and motioned for him to come over to her.

"Hello Tegan." He smiled, "What is it that you want to talk about?"

"Is Friday too soon?"

"For recording?" He took a minute to think things over, "No, that should be fine."

"And what are the terms of our recording session?" She didn't want any false promises.

"Record as long as you want on Friday, up until midnight, and if I'm pleased with how things are going, you can record Saturday as well." She let the words sink in before letting a grin plaster on her face, "If I still like you by midnight Saturday, I will sign you, and let you record the full album. If sails go as well as I think they might, I'll give you guys another chance to make an album. How's that sound?" He tried to pass the offer off as casually as possible.

"That sounds incredible!" She sat with her mouth hanging open, "I need to quickly check with Sara though."

"Go ahead, I'm just going to go get some coffee." He smiled as he stood up, then we walked to the line of people.

Tegan pulled out her phone and quickly dialed Sara's number.

"Hi Tegan!" Sara answered immediately, "I just got off the phone with an old friend, how are things going with Chris?"

"Well," She tried not to sound too excited, "I just talked to him, and if we come down to Seattle and record this coming Friday and Saturday, and he still likes us by the end of Saturday, he'll let us record a full album!"

"Holy Shit!" Sara was in shock, "Are you serious?"

"Yes!" Tegan smiled widely, "So, do you think you can get enough songs to try out for this weekend? Cause I have a lot and can just record whatever will sound best with your songs."

"Yeah, I think I can find a few of my old notebooks of lyrics and get a couple of good enough ones to try at the studio." Sara was so beyond cloud nine, she didn't even think it was possible to have that much joy at one time, "Today has been a good day so far!"

"Yeah?" Tegan was glad that Sara had agreed to her and Chris' terms, "You said you called a friend, right?"

"Yeah," And she was glad she had, it was the extra comfort she needed after last night, "He was there for me all the times I needed someone after Jessie's accident. I hadn't talked to him in months, but it was just what I needed. That, coupled with this news, makes today one of the best days of my life!"

"Oh, which ones have been better?" Tegan smiled, glad that her girlfriend was finally truly happy.

"Well, the day that Jessie came out and seeing the way everyone respected her still is probably my second favorite day so far," She smiled, briefly letting her mind drift back, "But my favorite day was the day I met you. You're turning my life back around."

"You have no idea how happy I am to hear that! Anyway, I've got to go and finish some stuff up with Chris Walla. I'll see you in a bit." They said goodbye and Tegan hung up.

"So is she on board?" Chris seemed nervous, almost like he thought he had to convince them to record for him.

"Yes. She said this weekend will work fine." Tegan smiled and Chris let out a sigh of relief, "Is there some sort of official paper to sign?"

"Yeah," Chris pulled an official looking paper out of his jacket, "It just says that you'll be there on Friday, anywhere between six am and midnight. It's more of an appointment book, really." He smiled at her and she quickly wrote her name down at the bottom. She was moving up in the world, and it felt so damn good!

Sara pulled her leather jacket over her gray v neck and got in her car. She decided not to wait for Tegan to get back; she wanted to join in the conversation at the coffee shop. Well, hopefully that's where Tegan went it's where she usually goes.

Sara walked through the door and immediately saw Tegan sitting in the corner talking to Chris.

"Sara, what are you doing here?" Tegan smiled and patter her lap.

Sara sat down on Tegan's legs and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek, "I was too excited to stay at my place."

"We were just going over the final details of how things would work in the studio."

"Yeah, basically," Chris continued the conversation that Sara had missed out on, "You don't have to worry about how good you sound vocally, I only really need to get a feel for your lyric writing, song style, and how natural things like harmony are for you. And like I said, if I like you guys I'll really work hard on getting it to sound good. I know a lot of talented musicians, so if you need anyone to record an instrument for you, I can find someone. And if any of your songs need bass or electric guitar for the testing phase, I can play that for you. Any questions?"

"Yeah," Sara spoke up, her happiness spilling out of her, "Do you want us to come with demos or something?"

"Well, I've heard one of Tegan's EPs," He smiled, showing that he had liked it, "And I saw both of you play live, so I don't think demos will be necessary at this stage."

"Okay. Then I just need to find one of my old song notebooks and I'm ready for Friday!" Sara looked down at Tegan and the both smiled. She gave her a quick kiss then hugged her tightly, "This is such an incredible opportunity, thank you."

"It's not a problem," He smiled at the two of them, "I'm just glad I found you guys before someone else did."

"So am I." Tegan took him a bit by surprise by this, "I love Death Cab, and now I get to work for Chris Walla….from Death Cab For Cutie. It's literally a dream come true!"

After exchanging a lot of thank yous, they said goodbye to Chris and just sat together in the arm chair. They stayed in the coffee shop for over an hour a mix of shock and joy running through each of their bodies. Tegan couldn't believe after all those years of putting out EPs and playing in bars someone had actually taken interest in her music. And Sara couldn't believe that anyone had liked her rusty guitar playing skills and four year old songs. They ghosted through the rest of the day, watching TV in Tegan's apartment, eating meals, cuddling in bed, and for Sara, even going to work felt somehow dream like. Almost as if it wasn't even her job, like it was something she did just to keep herself busy. She told Ted about how they were going to record on the weekend, and he immediately gave her the weekend off, saying that he could call one of the other employees and have them work. Tegan called Lindsey and told her about what had happened, she could hear her yelling for Emy, and then both of them yelling in excitement. Tegan and Sara couldn't wait for the weekend. They finally curled up together in bed, and slept, peacefully. The worries of the day before completely forgotten in the excitement.


	14. Southbound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been a week, Tegan and Sara are ready to head to Seattle

Tegan sat in the back of the RV, Sara curled up next to her, as they watched TV. Tegan had no clue what they were watching; her head was still reeling from the news. They were going to record for Chris Walla. She looked around the interior of the RV. It was a nice black and tan combination. A lot of state of the art electronics that Tegan didn't fully understand were seemingly around every corner. A remote that controlled the climate was, confusingly, right next to the TV remote. Earlier she had accidently turned the temperature way down in an attempt to change channels. Sara had laughed at her for not realizing what she was doing. She had blushed and pointed out the fact that the remotes did indeed look similar. Sara said it was an honest mistake but she laughed anyway. Tegan was currently sitting on the most luxurious leather couch she had ever seen. Even though it was only a four hour drive, the extra comfort was definitely appreciated.

Alright, let me backtrack real quick. Three days ago:

Tegan's phone rang and she quickly searched through the pockets of last night's jeans.

"Hey Ted, what's up?" She said when she finally found her phone after it fell to the floor.

"Hey Tegan, can you and Sara come over to The Hap?" It was an odd request seeing as the bar wasn't opening for another four hours.

"Um…sure," She agreed and asked, "Do you need help or something?"

"No, I just need to talk to the two of you."

"No problem, I'll go pick up Sara and we'll be there soon."

"Cool, I'll see you in a bit." He hung up and Tegan turned to the lump on her bed.

"Get up Sara." She gently shook her shoulder.

"Hmph…" Sara mumbled into her pillow.

"Ted wants to talk to us down at The Hap." She shook Sara a little harder.

"Fine…" Sara rolled over and gave Tegan a sleepy smile, "Hey there bella." She grinned wider as she said the last word, knowing that Tegan love when she used it.

"Good morning angel." Tegan gave her a quick kiss, "Actually it's just afternoon, so good afternoon angel." She smiled and kissed Sara again, "Now take a quick shower and grab some clothes."

"I don't want to take a shower, I want to sleep." Sara pouted.

"You can't sleep any longer." Tegan pulled her up by her shoulders so she was sitting, "Come on, we need to see what Ted wanted."

"Fine." Sara slowly got out of bed.

Tegan watched her walk toward the bathroom. Taking particular notice of her boy short clad bum and just how hot she looked in a wife beater. She smiled to herself when she realized that it was her girlfriend. Not just some girl to ease the night's pain, but the girl to ease all nights' pains. She sat on her bed and thought about just how lucky she was to find Sara. Sara was perfect for her. They were able to use their own experience in pain to help the other. It was exactly what Tegan needed. It was also the first time anyone she knew could relate to what she had been through. Before long Sara came back out of the bathroom in just a towel. Tegan hadn't even realized she had been staring until Sara chuckled at her.

"Sorry." Tegan apologized out of habit.

"Stop apologizing." Sara laughed again, "It's okay to stare at your girlfriend for Christ's sake!"

"Yeah, you're right." Tegan smiled and continued looking as Sara put on a pair of boxers and her bra.

"Should I wear a t shirt or go with a button up?" Sara asked as she pulled on a pair of dark blue jeans.

"I like button ups." Tegan gave her a slight nod as Sara started looking through all of Tegan's shirts.

"I like this one." Sara held out a dark burgundy shirt, the same one that Tegan had worn for their date.

"I know you do." Tegan smirked as Sara put the shirt on.

Sara smiled at the way she looked in the reflection, "This shirt smells like you."

"It's mine, it should smell like me."

"I know. I'm just saying," Sara shrugged and then smiled, "It smells really good, I might not be able to concentrate while I'm wearing this."

Tegan laughed and grabbed her leather jacket, "Ready?"

"Yeah, let's go."

They drove the short way over to The Hap and saw Ted's car out front. Tegan led Sara to the door, holding her hand the whole way there.

"Hey guys." Ted greeted as Tegan opened the door.

"Hey Ted." They both responded.

"What did you want to talk about?" Tegan asked after sitting down in the booth closest to the door.

"I can come and record this weekend." Ted had a huge smile on his face.

"That's awesome!" Both Tegan and Sara smiled in return.

"And I wanted to make you guys an offer." Tegan knew what he'd be saying. He'd offer to get them something expensive, or put them in a nicer hotel than the one that Chris was willing to pay for.

"What?" She surprised herself when she asked, she hadn't expected to sound irritated.

"Well," He began slowly, "Since you guys don't really have good vehicles for driving to Seattle…"

"It's not a far drive Ted." Tegan was getting a little more irritated at him for insulting her car.

"It's just…I have this car…truck…thing that I never get to use, and I really want to drive it. I'm willing to drive you guys there and back." Tegan had to admit that it didn't really sound like a bad idea.

"What kind of truck is it?" Tegan definitely didn't want to be sitting in the back seat of a pick up truck.

"It's an RV."

"Seriously?" Sara's eyes lit up, "I love RVs! I always wished I could go on long trips in one. But I've never actually gotten to be in one."

Tegan looked over at how excited Sara was and she decided to go with it, "Sounds good Ted."

"Okay, so if you guys can just drive here Thursday night we can pile in the RV and get to Seattle at like three am Friday."

"Sounds great." Tegan smiled at him, "We'll see you Thursday then."

Tegan looked down at Sara sitting next to her on the couch and smiled, "Are you enjoying our RV trip?"

"Yes!" Sara smiled up at her, "It's so incredible. This thing is nicer than my apartment!"

Tegan laughed nervously, "Yeah. Maybe one day we can have something like this for touring."

"If Ted wants to go on tour with us, we can have this." Sara smiled at the thought and looked around the RV.

"Knowing him he's probably give it to us even if he never tours with us."

"Should we ask him about it?"

Tegan couldn't help it, she was sick of it, "No! I don't need handouts, okay? We can get our own bus or RV for tour! We don't need Ted's! Got it?"

She saw the tears form in Sara's eyes, "I'm sorry." Sara stammered out an apology for suggesting they as for it.

"No Sara," Tegan wiped the tear away from her cheek, "I'm sorry. It's not your fault. I just get so sick of this shit sometimes. People always give me things. They give me discounts, free dinners, new guitars, and now this; a trip in an RV that costs twenty times what I've paid for my apartment. Now that I have a chance to get a good income, I don't want any more things for free. I want to pay for the stuff that I want. I don't want people just giving it to me because they think I'm attractive or they feel sorry for me."

"I understand, Tegan." Sara gave her a kiss on the cheek, "I shouldn't have suggested it."

"I'm sorry I raised my voice at you." Tegan looked into Sara's eyes, "Can you forgive me for that?"

"Of course I forgive you." Sara smiled at her and pulled her in by her tie and kissed her. They sat there in that kiss for what felt like hours. Tegan letting her anger and frustration dissolve in the feeling of Sara's lips and tongue.

"Te amo."

Sara smiled and responded, "I love you too."

"Do you want to try and get some sleep?"

"Sure."

Tegan leaned back into the corner of the couch and motioned for Sara to sit between her legs and lean back on her. Sara did and pulled a blanket over both of them. Tegan smiled as she felt Sara's breathing slow to a steady pace, she had fallen asleep after only a few minutes. Tegan couldn't sleep though. She had too many thoughts running around in her head. She tried her hardest to block out the bad ones, but it was too hard.

-"Get out of bed Tegan." She heard her dad shouting from the hallway, "You're so goddamn lazy!" He was pounding on her door. She didn't want him to come in so she hastily got up and responded to him.

"I'm up. I'm up!" She shouted so the pounding would stop.

"About goddamn time you lazy cow." He growled through her door before turning and walking loudly downstairs. Tegan needed to get out of the house. She hastily got dressed and walked as quietly as possible down the stairs.

"Where the fuck do you think you're going?" She heard him ask from his favorite arm chair.

"I have a school project that I have to work on with a friend. I might be out late." She lied as she opened the front door.

"Fine. But don't expect there to be food for you if you get back too late." She inwardly thanked whoever it was that was looking out for her. She was finally free, at least for the day she was.

She wandered around, finally deciding to go to Jenn's house. Jenn was someone who had no clue what Tegan's home life was. And Tegan liked it that way. She didn't have to worry about any judgement from Jenn. She knocked on the door.

"Hey Tegan." Jenn smiled and hugged her.

"Hi Jenn." Tegan smiled back, "Do you want to do something?"

"I'm home alone." She grinned at Tegan, "So come on in."

Tegan obliged and followed her into the entry way. She immediately attached her lips to Jenn's. She loved Jenn, she was gay and proud of it. She wasn't worried about what her parents thought. Her parents were nice people. But Tegan couldn't tell anyone she was gay because her father would kill her. But when she was alone with Jenn, it didn't matter. –

It had been a few months since her mom died and Tegan needed to see her girlfriend, Jenn had been ignoring her.

She knocked on the door and Jenn opened it, "Hey Jenn." She went to hug her but Jenn just stuck her arm out to block the hug.

"We need to talk." Tegan couldn't fight the emotion and she let her tears out.

"Why Jenn? Why? I've been nothing but good to you." She couldn't understand why Jenn was acting like this.

"Why? Are you kidding me Tegan?" She scoffed at Tegan's ignorant question, "I know what your family was like. Okay? I know what your dad did. And there is no way in hell I am going to continue dating someone who could turn out like that." Tegan pushed her way inside.

"I'm not like him Jenn!" She shouted at her and pushed her into a wall.

"What the hell Tegan?" She screamed back, "Why can't you see it?"

Tegan looked down and realized what she had done, "I'm sorry Jenn. I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to."

"Fuck you Tegan. You definitely meant to. You're just like him!" She spat out the last word with as much hatred as she could.

"I'm not him, Jenn!" She was trying to fight for her relationship, she couldn't lose more people, "I would neve-" She stopped as a girl from her high school walked around the corner to where they were arguing.

"Jenn are you okay?" She asked before looking up at Tegan, "Why are you here?"

"What the hell do you mean? This is my girlfriend's house." Tegan wanted to punch the girl.

"Your girlfriend? Jenn's my girlfriend." Tegan glared at Jenn in disbelief.

"You cheated on me?"

"No." Jenn stood up, "I broke up with you a month ago, but apparently you were to drunk or high at the time to remember it."

"Fuck you Jenn!" Tegan spat at her and shoved Jenn's new girlfriend against the wall. She hit her once, she slapped her right across her face, and then she realized what she was turning into.

She immediately ran out of the house and drove off. She needed to get out of there, she needed somewhere new. She didn't stop driving till she got to Vancouver. Tegan decided that this was the place to stop. –

She finally started to doze off, a few tears in her eyes, and a few on her cheeks. She looked down at Sara and smiled, she would never loose Sara, not like what happened with Jenn.

When she woke up next it was because Ted was shaking her.

"Tegan." He whispered to her, "We're at the hotel, you can sleep in here, or we can wake up Sara and get up to our rooms."

"I don't want to wake her." Tegan looked down at Sara, sound asleep.

"Okay, you only have about four hours of sleep left, use it well." Tegan kissed her on the forehead and left the RV.

Tegan fell asleep quickly, and she dreamed of nice things. She dreamt of Sara, recording her songs, and she dreamt of her grandparents smiling at her success. When she woke up she felt rested. Sara was already up, making some coffee in the fancy coffee pot in the small kitchen at the back of the RV.

"Good morning bella!" Sara smiled at her and handed her a cup.

"Morning angel." Tegan smiled back and took a sip.

"You ready to record in an hour?" Sara couldn't hide her excitement.

Tegan nodded in response, "Yes!"


	15. The Studio

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tegan, Sara, and Ted spend the day at Chris Walla's studio

The three friends took a cab to Chris' studio. Tegan was nervous, she didn't know what it would be like to be in a professional studio, and the idea of it scared her. Sara was excited, she had never recorded any of her songs, and she was bouncing in her seat hoping the taxi driver would speed up so they'd get there faster. And Ted, well, he just wanted to play guitar again. It was his favorite thing when he was growing up. Watching people like Billy Corgan playing on stage inspired him when he was a teenager. But he hadn't played much in the last five years. He knew he'd be rusty, but he didn't care.

The cab pulled up to the studio and let out a low whistle, "The Hall of Justice. Nirvana did some recording at this place." He turned to the three people in the back, "Good luck in there." They all smiled back at him and Ted handed him the fair.

"Oh my god!" Tegan was almost breathless, "This is that studio? We'll be so disappointing to them. We have nothing on Nirvana."

"Relax Tegan." Sara smiled at her, "That was over a decade ago, and Chris didn't own the place back then. We don't have to worry about being better than Cobain just yet."

Tegan laughed and agreed, "True, we just have to be as good as Death Cab." She rubbed her now sweaty hands on her jeans and then shoved them into her pockets.

"You guys are at least as good as them." Ted tried to comfort the obviously nervous Tegan.

"Thanks Ted." Sara flashed him a brilliant, excited, smile.

They walked up to the front door and opened it. There was a woman, roughly the same age as Tegan and Sara, sitting behind a little desk.

"You guys must be Tegan and Sara." She smiled up at them, peering over her dark framed glasses.

"Yeah…th-that's us." Tegan could feel her breath becoming less and less steady.

"Just sign in here and walk through that door behind me." She smiled reassuringly, she'd seen a lot of young musicians walk through that door. Some of them even came out happy, cheering about getting to come back and record again.

"Thank you." Sara smiled as she finished signing them in.

"Have fun in there." She smiled back at the three friends.

Sara led the way with Tegan right behind her. They walked through the door and into the studio.

"Hey guys." Chris stood up from his seat at the mix board, "It's good to see you again."

"Likewise." Sara shook his hand and looked around, "This place is nice."

"Yeah?" He looked around quickly, "I had to redo a lot of this stuff when I took over last year."

"It looks good." Sara smiled at him.

"So," He smiled back at them, "Are you ready to get started?"

Sara nodded, "What do we do? Should I just grab a guitar and sing?"

"Well, first, I'd like to see some of the songs you've brought in. Just so I know what to expect. Then I'll have you play and sing one of them for me. If I like it I'll work on adding some sort of beat to it. How's that sound?"

"Sounds great!" She smiled and handed him a binder with a collection of her songs in it.

"Glad to see you came prepared." He quickly went through the first song, "This looks promising." He turned to the next one, and made similar comments about all the songs he looked at. After roughly a half an hour he set the binder down, "I'd like to hear the first one. If you don't mind."

"Of course!" Sara smiled and grabbed her binder, "Should I head into the recording booth?"

"Just grab that guitar behind you and play me a verse and chorus here. And then you can go into the booth and I'll work a bit of my magic." He smiled at her and motioned for her to grab a guitar.

"Okay, well then…I guess I'll sing." Sara started to get nervous.

"If I don't recover

Sell this house and find

Something lost outside your window"

After she finished singing through to the chorus she stopped and looked around at the faces of the three other people there.

"That was great Sara!" Tegan spoke for the first time since walking to the back room.

"Yeah." Ted nodded in agreement.

"Definitely," Chris smiled at her, "So, do you want to hop in the booth and give me a stripped down recording of it?"

"Of course!" Sara walked to the booth door.

"If the rest of today goes as well as it's starting to," He smiled triumphantly, "I might not need to hear you guys tomorrow before my decision."

Sara smiled nervously and went into the recording booth. She heard Chris' voice coming through into the room, guiding her through the process. Having her set up the mics that she would need for the basic recording, and then she did it. She played her song, beginning to end, and Chris gave her a thumbs up.

"Alright, come and join us out here again." She hastily agreed and walked back to her waiting friends.

"I'd like to hear something of Tegan's now." He said after talking briefly about the song that Sara had just played, "You have song on your newest EP called Dark Come Soon. I'd love to have you go record it for me. I already have some ideas of what I'll do to improve the song."

"Okay." Tegan mumbled and grabbed one of the guitars that lined the wall. She walked into the booth and went up to the mics that Sara had set up. She was too nervous; she couldn't even remember how the song went. She stood in front of the mic for a few seconds without saying, or singing, anything.

"Baby," She heard Sara's voice come through the speakers, "You'll do fine, okay? And no matter what, you'll be my bella." Tegan felt reassured by Sara's voice.

She started out a little shaky but got her confidence after a few lines. She walked back out of the booth feeling relieved at how well it went.

"That was good." Chris smiled at her, "You had a lot of emotion, and it really works for this kind of song. And that will make it a lot easier for me to know what to add."

They spent the rest of the day repeating the process over and over. Basically creating demo versions of their songs in a professional studio. Ted and some point had grabbed and electric guitar and after playing it while sitting on the couch Chris had asked him to plug it in and give him a few riffs. Ted nervously agreed and played a few songs that he remembered learning years ago. Chris was impressed and had said that he could work with Ted's talent and style. He finished up the night saying that when they came in on Saturday he would have some music for Ted to play.

They called a cab and went back to the hotel. They were exhausted form the long day of singing and went straight to their rooms. After taking a shower Tegan felt refreshed, and even a little energetic.

"Come on Sara, let's do something."

"Yeah," Tegan thought that Sara was agreeing with her, "Let's sleep."

"Oh come on!" She whined and pawed at Sara's leg, "Let's at least put on a movie."

"Go ahead." Sara stood up and walked over to her small suitcase, "But I'm still gonna try and sleep."

"Fine." Tegan pouted and flipped through the channels. It didn't look like anything good was on so she turned toward Sara in defeat. She started to talk but just ended up mumbling something as she watched Sara pulling of her shirt revealing the beautiful skin underneath it. Sara had her back turned and hadn't noticed. She pulled down her pants and pulled a pair of pajama shorts and a t shirt out of her suitcase. She turned and walked toward the bed, noticing Tegan's unwavering stare.

"Like what you see?" She chuckled as Tegan barely nodded, a little drool forming at the corner of her mouth.

Tegan slowly walked around the bed so she could stand behind Sara, "Please just wear the shorts. I think you'll look hot in them."

Sara laughed and pulled them up, "So, you want me topless, eh?"

"That's exactly what I want." Tegan nodded and leaned in for a kiss. Sara rushed forward to meet Tegan's lips, kissing her passionately. As they kissed Tegan worked on the clasp of Sara's bra. They broke the kiss briefly as Sara lifted Tegan's shirt over her head, immediately reconnecting when the shirt was off. Tegan softly pushed Sara, urging her to lie on the bed, and Sara obliged. Tegan started to kiss her way down, stopping at her breasts, taking one in each hand and trailing kisses all the way down from in between Sara's breasts to the hem of her shorts. Tegan took her right hand down and slowly pulled down the pajamas, taking the boy shorts with them. She smirked as Sara moaned in delight. She then rested her hands on Sara's stomach while she kissed the inside of her left thigh.

"More Tegan, I need more than that." Sara murmured breathlessly.

"Ask and you'll receive." Tegan smirked up at her.

"Please Tegan," She panted out the words, "Fuck me in celebration of how well things went to day."

Tegan smiled up at her, "Of course." She went back to giving Sara's thighs kisses and small bites. Sara's scent was starting to drive her wild and she couldn't hold back any longer. She gave Sara's slit a playful lick and then she grinned up at Sara as she let out a low barely audible moan. Then she used her thumb to rub along the top of the opening as she continued working with her tongue.

"Oh god!" Sara breathed and lifted her head so she could watch Tegan. She didn't keep her head up long, as soon as Tegan thrust inside her with her tongue Sara couldn't keep from letting her head fall back against the bed.

Tegan kept thrusting her tongue in and out; pausing every few seconds to give Sara's slit another full lick. Sara was now moaning and gripping the bed trying not to shout out loud, aware that Ted was sleeping in the room on the other side of the wall.

"Jesus, Tegan!" She moaned out, just above a whisper, "I'm getting close."

Tegan removed her tongue, looking up at Sara's beautiful face; she quickly replaced her tongue with two fingers. It didn't take much longer for Sara to get there.

"I'm comi-" Sara started but finished by biting down on the bed sheets, not wanting her scream to be audible. It didn't help much, her cry of ecstasy easily breached the wall between them and Ted. She hoped to God that he hadn't heard. She looked down and saw Tegan licking off her fingers. She moaned again at the sight, "Kiss me."

Tegan obliged, sliding her tongue into Sara's waiting mouth, letting Sara taste herself. Tegan pulled away from the kiss after what felt like several minutes, "Now I'm tired." She smiled sleepily at Sara, "Are you ready to sleep?"

"I was exhausted when we got into the room," Sara smiled back at her, "Let's cuddle under the sheets and share our sweet dreams, bella."

Tegan's smile widened, "I shall dream of my beautiful angel. And maybe tonight my dreams will explain why she's on earth instead of in the heavens with all of her kind."

"That's my secret," Sara smiled and played along, "I might never tell you why I came down here, but it might have something to do with a certain beautiful woman."

They got under the covers and wrapped their arms and legs around each other, face to face, both with peaceful smiles; it was a picture perfect moment. Tegan kissed Sara gently on the lips and fell asleep immediately.

That night she dreamt of nothing but Sara. Gabriel never showed up that night, something about Sara kept him at bay. She didn't even think about Jenn like she had the day before. It was just Sara, just her and Sara together, sharing a beautiful life. She smiled in her dreams, knowing that's what they were, but knowing that her life was even better, because in her real life she could feel Sara's warmth, smell her sweet scent, and kiss her perfect lips. She slept all night with a smile on her face, completely oblivious to the fact that Sara was doing the same. Both girls had forgotten about their pasts, both of them were dreaming of their future, something that neither of them was accustomed too. And it was absolutely what they both needed. A future; something that got them to finally stop dwelling on the past, something that got the two of them to have happy, sweet dream filled sleep.

Tegan woke up the next morning, a smile on her face, as she watched Sara sleep. She looked like an angel, so beautiful, so perfect, and completely at peace on the inside.


	16. The Morning After or Studio: Day Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tegan and Sara wake up happy and ready to record

As Tegan smiled at the sleeping form of Sara, she heard a faint knock on the door. She placed a quick kiss on Sara's forehead before quickly putting on an oversized t shirt and answering the door.

"Good Morning." She greeted Ted as she walked into the hallway, closing the door behind her.

"Good Morning." Ted smiled slyly, "It's already seven, and I was thinking we should shoot for around eight."

"Sounds good." She sleepily answered, "Did you sleep well?"

"I started to, and then I heard you either killing Sara or something a little more…" He paused watching Tegan blush, "Pleasurable." He finished with a smirk.

"Oh God," Tegan couldn't look at him, "You heard that?"

"She wasn't exactly quiet." He chuckled again punching Tegan lightly on the shoulder, "Don't worry about it Teeg. I'm happy for you. No go get Sara up so you guys can get ready. There's free breakfast downstairs. Bacon, pancakes, sausage…you name it."

"I'll get Sara." She smiled at Ted, thinking about how wonderful the food sounded, "And thanks, for being happy for me."

"She's really good for you Tegan, of course I'm happy about that." He flashed her a sincere smile and walked off, "I'll be downstairs, I'll save you guys a place to eat."

"Thanks Ted." She called after him before slowly re-entering her room.

She walked back over to the bed. Sara was still sleeping like an angel, a small smile etched across her face. Tegan brushed a few loose hairs behind Sara's ear. Sara's smile widened in her sleep. Tegan looked at her lovingly, not wanting to wake her up. But at the same time knowing she had to. She decided that the best way was with a kiss. She leaned across the bed and planted a sweet kiss on Sara's lips. Sara's smile got even bigger and she opened her eyes.

"Good morning bella." She grinned sleepily as she looked over at Tegan.

"Hello angel." Tegan rubbed her thumb along Sara's jaw, "I'm going to take a shower. Ted said there is breakfast and he's saving us a place downstairs."

"Okay." Sara mumbled and sat up, stretching, "I'll get dressed, then I'll just wait here for you to get ready."

"Okay." Tegan smiled and leaned in for another kiss before grabbing her clothes and heading into the small hotel bathroom. She looked at herself in the mirror and was shocked. She had never seen herself look that happy. Never once growing up had she seen any happiness in her reflection, at least not in her eyes; but now it was different, her eyes were smiling even though she wasn't. It was a complete reverse of how she used to be. So Ted was right, Sara was good for Tegan. She smiled at her reflection and hopped in the shower.

After putting on a pair of skinny jeans and a Smashing Pumpkins t shirt she walked out of the bathroom. Sara was sitting on the end of the bed, eyes half closed, wearing a cute striped shirt and skinny jeans, almost the exact shade as Tegan's.

"Are you gonna put those shoes on?" Tegan asked while pointing at the pair of Docs sitting inches away from Sara's feet.

"Hmm?" Sara hummed as she struggled to open her eyes.

"You'll need to put those on Sara." Tegan chuckled.

"Oh, right." Sara smiled, "I sort of dozed off for a second there."

"You need to wake up." Tegan scolded lightly, "You need to get some food and coffee in you to fuel you through the day."

Sara perked up at the mention of coffee, "I couldn't agree more."

They made their way to the elevator, Tegan letting Sara rest her head on her shoulder the entire time. The elevator stopped at the ground floor and Tegan lead them to the breakfast area in search of Ted.

She spotted him immediately, "Hey Ted."

"Hey guys." He smiled at them. Tegan thought he was way too happy for how early it was.

"I grabbed you guys a couple plates and piled food on. You'll have to get your own drinks though; I didn't know what you wanted."

"Thanks Ted." Sara smiled weakly at him and immediately sat down and grabbed a fork.

"Do you want me to get your coffee?" Tegan rubbed her shoulder and Sara nodded, "How do you like it?"

"I'll take a little cream and some sugar please." Tegan nodded and walked off toward the drink section of the breakfast counter.

"Did you sleep well last night?" Sara asked Ted after she had eaten a few bites of egg.

"I slept fine." Ted fought back a smile as he answered.

"What are you happy about?" Sara asked, noticing the brief smile that found its way onto Ted's lips.

"It's nothing." He waved it off, "Just something I talked to Tegan about this morning."

"Oh." Sara brushed it off, not knowing that she was the subject of the prior conversation. She went back to eating.

Tegan walked up holding two cups of coffee, "Here you are." She smiled as she handed the coffee to Sara.

"Thanks." Sara smiled back and immediately started sipping the hot delicious smelling liquid.

"Anytime." Tegan smiled, a genuine, beautiful smile that seemed to take up her whole face, showing off the gums above her teeth.

Sara had never seen Tegan smile like that, it was beautiful, and it had a childlike innocence about it. If Sara didn't know better she would have thought Tegan had never known any emotional pain.

"What are you thinking about?" Tegan asked before quickly resuming her perfect smile.

"You." Sara smiled back at her, "Your smile is beautiful, I've never seen it before."

"I smile all the time." Tegan laughed, thinking that Sara was going a little bit senile.

"Not like that." Sara shook her head, "This is a real smile. It's genuine, it's beautiful, it's absolutely perfect!" She grabbed Tegan softly by the back of her neck and pulled her in for a kiss, "Just like you." She smiled and kissed her.

"Thank you." She saw a tear slip out of Tegan's left eye and down her cheek. But she was still smiling, she was happy about everything at that moment.

"Hey guys." Ted brought them back to earth, "I'm still here."

The two girls laughed nervously.

"That was a beautiful moment and all," He gave Tegan a look showing just how much he cared that she was happy, "But we should probably get going soon. So you guys should really eat up."

"Okay Ted." Tegan brought up her hand in mock salute, "Whatever you say." She finished her salute, grabbed her fork, and started eating.

They ate the rest of the meal in relative silence. Not engaging each other in conversation as they tried to finish their breakfast quickly. Ted called a cab and they got to the study just after eight o'clock.

"Welcome back guys." The receptionist greeted them, motioning for them to walk into the studio.

They all said hi to her, and then walked through the door. Chris was sitting in the room listening to music through his headphones. He turned as the door opened.

"Hey guys." He smiled at them and shook their hands, "I actually have some work for you Mr. Gowans."

Ted seemed a little shocked and nervous, "Yeah?"

"Yeah," He smiled noticing how nervous Ted looked, "Whenever you're ready grab that guitar and plug it in." He pointed to a Gibson that was lying on the couch.

"Okay." Ted picked up the guitar, strumming a few times and playing a familiar riff before plugging it in, satisfied with the state of his nerves.

"I have some ideas," Chris began, keeping one ear piece over his right ear while talking, "I'll just have you play around with the arrangement. We're going to start with the track S O S." He played Sara's song through the mane speakers and began talking to Ted about things that Tegan and Sara didn't fully understand, but everything that he had Ted play sounded good with the song.

"Okay, So I think the third, fifth, and sixth work the best." He jotted something down on a sheet of music, "So if you can play those for me again, I'd like to work on volume on the track."

Tegan had a wide smile on her face. It was finally really hitting her. She was recording music. There was a professional musician helping to manufacture the electric parts that her songs had always lacked. She looked over at Sara who had a similar look on her face.

After Ted had played through the three versions that Chris had asked for Walla turned toward the girls, "You guys can actually go explore a bit if you want, I'll be working with Ted for a while. Just leave your number with my receptionist and I'll call you when I need you guys again."

"Okay, thanks." Tegan smiled and grabbed Sara's hand, leading her out the door, stopping briefly to tell the receptionist her number.

"Where are we going?" Sara asked as Tegan continued to lead her outside.

"There was a cute little park I saw on the way over here." Tegan smiled, "It's only a few block away."

"That's a lot of walking." Sara moaned her opinion.

"Please!" Tegan gave her a puppy dog look.

"Fine." Sara rolled her eyes and walked with Tegan.

"I'm glad we're her together." Tegan smiled and she looked over at Sara, "I don't know what I would do if it was just me recording."

"You'd do fine." Sara smiled back at her, "I still would have come down here with you."

"It wouldn't have been the same." Tegan shook her head, "It's much easier this way. It's soothing watching you record; even when you're singing angst filled songs it's somehow soothing to me. It might just be your beautiful voice or your passion when you sing."

"Thank you." Sara blushed, "That really means a lot to me Tegan. But I'm still not as good as you. Your songs are so personal and beautiful, mine are too obscure."

"Really? Cause I was thinking that compared to yours mine were too simple and boring, where as yours are complicated and just cool sounding."

"I guess we're just each other's biggest fan then." Sara smiled and tangled her fingers in between Tegan's.

"Yeah?" Tegan raised an eyebrow, "I'd like that. Us being each other's biggest fans, it feels right."

"It feels right because it is right." Sara chuckled.

They walked the rest of the way, silently holding hands and occasionally their heads resting on the other's shoulder. When they got to the park Sara understood why Tegan wanted to visit it. It was beautiful, lush green, and the fog was hanging low in the trees, giving it a cold but welcoming look.

"Isn't it pretty?" Tegan asked with a smile as she lead Sara to a bench.

"Yeah." Sara smiled at her as they sat down, "It's really beautiful."

"It's so green." Tegan said looking around.

"Its grass Tegan, it's always green." Sara laughed at her.

"Yeah, but it's really green." Tegan muttered blushing slightly.

"I know what you mean." Sara chuckled, "I just couldn't resist giving you hard time for that comment."

"Asshole." Tegan smiled and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"This place makes me think of all the happy moments I shared with Jessie." Sara spoke up after a few moments of silence, "We used to sit and talk for hours in her back yard. She lived on a hill and it overlooked a beautiful rural town that on sometimes was completely covered in fog. It was gorgeous."

"I used to sneak out during the night and go to a small park near my home. I would just lie down and stare at the stars. It was my only escape." Tegan pulled Sara closer to her side, "Now I finally don't need an escape. In fact," She turned, inches away from Sara's face, "I would love to be locked up in you, never able to escape." They kissed, soft, slow, but passionate. Both of them knowing that escape and comfort were things they didn't need; it was something they had finally found in each other, of course there would still be times when they would both need comfort, but they wouldn't have to go far to get it.

They sat on that bench for over an hour, just holding each other and smiling at the view, at the thought of being together. It seemed like only minutes when Tegan's phone rang, interrupting their time.

"Hello?" Tegan answered, thinking they hadn't been gone for long.

"Hi," The woman on the other end spoke, "Chris said he will start working with you guys in thirty minutes."

"Okay, thanks." Tegan hung up and looked at the time, "Whoa. It's getting close to eleven. Let's get back."

Sara nodded her agreement and they walked hand in hand to the studio. When they entered the studio they could hear Ted playing guitar, and it sounded good.

"Hey guys." Ted beamed up at them as they walked into the room.

"Hey Ted, everything going well?" Tegan questioned him with a grin on her face.

"Yeah," He continued to smile, "It's been going great."

"He's been really good." Chris complimented him, "He's such a natural."

"Glad to hear it." Tegan changed the subject quickly, "What do you want us to work on today?"

"Harmony." Chris smiled, "Just give it a few tests, just so I know what I'll be working with for when we record the full album."

"Holy fuck!" Sara shouted, "You're gonna have us record an album?"

"Of course." Chris seemed just as excited, "You guys are incredibly talented. Why wouldn't I have you record an album?"

"Holy hell that's incredible!" Sara jumped up and down before hugging Tegan around the neck.

Tegan just stood speechless, in absolute shock. She opened her eyes and realized she was on the floor.

"She's up." Chris said over his shoulder, "You passed out for a couple minutes."

"Sorry." Tegan mumbled out, embarrassed by the fact that she had fallen unconscious in front of them.

"Stop being sorry." She heard Sara's sweet voice from somewhere behind Chris, "It's not anything to be sorry about. The news was obviously too exciting for you to handle normally."

"Yeah," Tegan agreed while sitting up, "That's why I decided to pass out." She joked with the three other people in the room.

"Glad your back." Ted grinned at her, "You had us worried for a second."

"Good to be back among the living." She grinned back, excitement coursing through her entire body, "I can't believe it though. We get to have a professional album!"

Sara jumped up and down again, "It's going to be incredible!"

Tegan couldn't agree more.

The rest of the recording that day was a bit of a blur. Tegan remembered going into the booth and doing the harmonies for a few of her songs. But she was coasting, not really consciously thinking about what she was doing. She was too busy reeling over the idea of actually recording a full album. It would take a long time, but she knew it would be worth it. She also knew that it would mean she would get to spend a lot of time with Sara, every day, until the cd was done. Then there was tour. Tegan couldn't contain the pure joy that came over her when she thought about going on tour with Sara. She knew it would be absolutely perfect.

As she and Sara fell asleep that night the last thing on her mind was this.

'She's absolutely perfect. She doesn't even realize it. The perfect little angel.' She fell asleep yet again with a smile on her face.


	17. Beautiful Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tegan has a scare, she appreciates beauty, and gets pleasantly surprised

"Your girlfriend is pretty Tegan." She froze at the words, she knew that voice, and she hated that voice.

"Why are you here?" She asked, looking around for Sara.

"You let me in Tegan. You invited me." His words were laced with hatred.

"I would never do that." Tegan became frantic, she didn't see Sara anywhere.

"Every night you let me in here Tegan." Something wasn't right, she hadn't seen him in years, how was she letting him in every night?

"I am not letting you in." He laughed at her, a terrifying, humorless laugh.

"Oh but you are." He grinned at her, but only with his teeth, his eyes were cold and terrible.

Tegan looked around the hotel room again, unable to find Sara.

"Are you looking for her?" He continues smiling.

Tegan forced a nod. She didn't want to answer him, but she couldn't resist.

"She's right here." He motioned to the floor behind him. Sara was just lying there, bruised and bloodied, whimpering silently. He kicked her once in the ribs, "I'm thinking about keeping her. I haven't had anyone to throw around since your mom."

"Get out!" Tegan shouted, trying to wake up, "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HEAD!" She screamed as loud as she could.

She woke up screaming, shouting at him, "Fuck you Gabriel!" She shouted as she woke up. Her stomach twisted when she noticed that Sara wasn't in bed with her.

"Tegan?" Sara's terrified voice came from the bathroom door, "Are you okay? Did you have another memory?"

Tegan shook her head in response, "It was a dream. He beat you Sara. I was absolutely terrified."

"It's okay Tegan," Sara comforted her by walking over and gently rubbing her back, "He can never hurt me. He doesn't even know I exist."

"You don't know that Sara." Tegan was still shaking from the dream.

"I do know that Tegan." Sara planted a kiss on the top of Tegan's head.

"How can you know that?" Tegan let a few tears roll down her cheeks, "I don't even know if he's still in prison."

"I looked him up during the week," Sara pulled her into a tight hug, "He can never hurt us Tegan. He hung himself two weeks ago in prison."

Relief immediately washed over Tegan. All of her thoughts and fears of what would happen when he was free, what he would do when he found her were immediately gone.

"No one can hurt you again Tegan." Tegan cried into Sara's shoulder, "He's gone. He'll never come back."

Tegan cried for several minutes, not out of sadness, but not out of joy either. They were the tears that had been waiting to be released since she had last seen him. They were the tears of pent up fear and anger. And now they flowed free, giving Tegan the relief she needed.

She fell back asleep fairly quickly after the tears stopped coming. She dreamt of sweeter things after that. More dreams of Sara, dreams of Sara without Gabriel in them. When she woke up in the morning she had to think back and decipher what had been real the night before. The memory of Sara telling her about her dad was definitely real, and Tegan let out a few more relieved tears.

'She looks like a perfect angel.' She thought as she looked at the stretched out form of Sara.

Tegan pulled the sheets up over Sara's shoulders gently. She didn't want her to wake up yet. She wanted to watch her sleep, it was comforting to her. The early morning light was barely peeking through the curtains and landed softly on Sara's perfect angular jawline. There was a dazzling beauty that came with the sun, something about the way it made her skin look, that entranced Tegan completely. A heavy breath was followed by Sara adjusting in her sleep. In her adjustment she moved to her side, resting her hands under the side of her head, acting as a second pillow. Tegan smiled at the movements, thinking about how it reminded her of when kids snuggle with their blankies or stuffed animals. It was adorable. So innocent, but yet in a way it gave Tegan the feeling that Sara needed to curl up to comfort herself. Maybe she always slept like that in an empty bed; in the fetal position, using her own soft hands as a pillow. Tegan reached out and brushed back a few loose hairs, placing them gently behind Sara's right ear. Sara's eye twitched at the contact, her dream had probably changed when she felt the presence of another person in the bed with her. After a few seconds of Tegan silently watching, Sara's lips curled into a small smile. She hoped it was something to do with her. Maybe she had entered Sara's dream when she touched her. They were probably having a good time in Sara's head right now. Tegan actually felt jealous of the version of her that was in Sara's head at that moment. She laughed at her own jealousy, causing Sara to stir.

"Good morning bella." Sara mumbled out groggily, trying her best to sound awake.

"Hello angel." Tegan showed off her gums with her smile, "Will you ever tell me why you left heaven?"

"It's a secret," Sara grinned sleepily, "It's about a girl. And that's all you get to know."

"I promise I won't tell anyone why." Tegan mock pleaded for more information.

"One more hint then." Sara sat up and supported her wait on her elbows, "The girl I came for is stunningly beautiful."

Tegan blushed at the additional adjective, "Can I meet her sometime?"

"I don't know if that's entirely possible." Sara grinned and pulled Tegan into a sweet kiss, "Maybe someday though." She teased and Tegan playfully pushed her back down on the bed.

"Come on, go take a shower so we can go get breakfast."

Sara obliged, standing up off the bed and walking toward the bathroom. She grabbed fresh clothes on the way. A grin crossed her lips as she removed her shirt, tossing it behind her, earning a gasp from Tegan.

"Don't tease me like that." Tegan groaned as Sara closed the door behind her.

When Sara returned to the bed after her shower ended she looked at the clock, "It's eight-thirty."

"Yeah." Tegan nodded, "Ted asked if we were going to the studio soon. He had breakfast an hour ago. So we might have to grab food and leave, eating on the way."

"Sounds fine." Sara smiled and kissed Tegan on the cheek, "So long as I get my coffee."

"Let's go then." Tegan held Sara's hand as they walked from their room to the elevator. Ted tried to walk in behind them, but she pushed him away and hit the close button, laughing at his shocked expression.

"What? Why did you do that?" Sara asked, confused about the exchange.

"So I could do this." She turned and pulled Sara in for a kiss, gently biting at her lower lip as she pulled away.

"Oh." It was the only thing Sara could think to say.

Tegan smirked and kissed her again, slipping her tongue passed Sara's waiting lips, and only releasing when the elevator dinged, telling them they were at the ground floor.

Tegan grabbed a bagel and hastily applied the cream cheese before grabbing a cup of coffee. She turned around and noticed that Sara had done the same.

"Great minds think alike, eh?" Sara chuckled and took a bite of her bagel.

"Come on let's go, Ted's waiting." They walked out of the hotel to where Ted was standing.

"Hey guys, cab will be here any second now." They both nodded, "I slept so much better last night."

Tegan blushed remember their conversation from the previous morning, "Yeah?"

"Yeah," He had a mischievous grin, "That lady from the other night didn't scream last night."

It was Sara's turn to blush; she turned a deep shade of crimson.

"I hate you Ted." Tegan shook her head, fighting against the smile that was trying to appear.

"No you don't." He grinned at her, "You love me Tegan."

"I'm not so sure about that Ted." She chuckled and turned to Sara, "Don't be embarrassed Sara."

"But he heard us!" She hid her face from Ted.

"Yes," She placed a hand on Sara's shoulder, "And if he knows what's good for him he'll put in ear plugs tonight." Both Sara and Ted chuckled.

"You can count on that." Ted smiled at them.

"Good." Tegan reached down and grabbed Sara's bum, eliciting a slight yelp, "Because I'd hate for you to never be able to look at me the same."

"It might be too late." He chuckled and waved at the can that had just pulled up to the front of the hotel.

As he walked away Tegan grinned at Sara, "Don't worry about him Sara. I can guarantee he's heard worse."

"I wasn't worried about that." She shook her head, "I just felt a little uncomfortable over the fact that he heard me, well, you know."

"I know what?" Tegan played dumb.

"I'm not saying it." Sara laughed at Tegan, "We're in public."

"It was worth a shot." Tegan laughed along with her, "Are you still embarrassed about Ted?"

"Nah," She shrugged it off, "I guess it's not that bad."

They got to the studio just before nine.

"I thought you guys wouldn't show." The receptionist smiled at them.

"We slept in." Tegan answered, feeling bad about missing out on a couple of hours that could have been spent in the studio.

"Let it be noted that I was awake at six-thirty," Ted raised his hand as he spoke, as if he were talking to a teacher, "And that is not sleeping in. They were just lazy."

"Really?" Sara smiled at him, "We have ways of keeping you up at night. Ear buds will not be enough." She laughed as Ted's jaw dropped.

"I admit defeat." Ted bowed slightly to Sara, "I take it back. You weren't lazy. You needed your rest to recover from the previous night." He grinned and hurried through the studio door.

"I thought you guys seemed awfully close." The receptionist smiled at them, "How long have you been together?"

"A couple weeks." Tegan shocked herself with her answer; it hadn't felt like only two weeks. Apparently people were wrong when they said good times go by fast.

"Well, you guys are cute together." She complimented them.

"Thank you." Sara smiled at her and walked through the door.

"Good morning guys and gals." Chris was smiling, "Are you ready for today?"

"What's happening today?" Tegan wanted to get right to business.

"I decided to do some work on S O S." He smiled, "So, Ted, grab a guitar and plug it in. I'm going to work on the keyboard. And I want you girls to just sit tight for a bit."

Tegan watched intently as the two men collaborated. Ted matched everything Chris asked for, and Chris messed around with effects on the guitar and keyboard trying to get the exact sound he wanted. After close to thirty minutes of messing around with the different affects he addressed Sara.

"Do you think you could play this on a steel guitar?"

"Sure." She nodded and retrieved the guitar from the wall, "I've never played one before though."

"Just play the same way you did on the acoustic."

She did. Something about the steel guitar brought an intensity and seriousness that had been missing.

"Perfect." He smiled and went back to the keyboard, "That is what I want for the album."

"I like it." Tegan gave Sara a reassuring look, "It sounds really cool."

"Yeah, me too." Sara had a huge smile on her face.

"Good," Chris agreed with them, "Cause it is perfect for the song. If you want to record that guitar now, go ahead. I'll just save it for when I start putting things together. Or you can wait until we really get into recording; it makes no difference to me."

"I'd love to do it now." Sara smiled, "While it's still fresh."

She grabbed the guitar and quickly walked into the booth. She played along with the song that was coming through her headphones and when she finished she received a thumbs up from Chris.

"That was great." He told her when she exited the booth, "That will make it a lot easier when I start bringing in other musicians."

"Oh yeah," Tegan spoke up from the couch, "I don't know any drummers. So hopefully you know someone who can play for the recording."

He grinned, "I have someone in mind."

"Anyone I've heard of?" She was hoping it was someone from a band she liked.

"Most likely, his names Jason McGerr." Tegan's jaw dropped, "He's actually coming down here in a bit to have lunch and to talk."

"What?" Tegan came out of her shock, "He's going to be our drummer?"

"As long as he isn't against it," He shrugged, "And he seemed interested when I talked to him last night."

"That's so awesome!" Tegan bounced on the couch, "I love him! He's so good!"

"Yeah, I know." Chris chuckled, "I'm in a band with him."

"Yeah, true." Tegan chuckled as well, "I can't wait to meet him."

Jason got to the studio at around eleven-thirty. When he walked into the room Tegan thought she might faint again.

"Hi, I'm Jason." The big man held out his hand to Tegan.

"T-Tegan." She stuttered and shook his hand.

"Sara." Sara smiled and shook his hand.

"And I'm Ted." Ted waved from the couch where he was still playing guitar, enjoying every minute of being back in the saddle.

"It's nice to meet you guys." He smiled at them, "I was told you were looking for a drummer."

"Yeah," Chris spoke for them, "I think you'll love their music. It's really great. And I think you can bring a lot to these songs."

"Alright." Jason nodded, "Play me one of their songs and I'll let you know if I'll do it."

He quickly scrolled through the files on his computer and clicked on Dark Come Soon. Tegan heard the familiar, rough recording, of her EP.

"It's good." Jason said about half way through the song, "I'm in."

Tegan was pleasantly surprised. She had expected him to listen to a few songs and then she thought she'd have to beg him to play. But he was in. And he had decided it in less than two minutes. Too say she was happy would be a terrible understatement. She was elated, ecstatic, walking on the clouds. Her dream of being a musician was coming true. She was recording with the most beautiful woman she had ever met, and for one of her favorite guitarists from the last decade. Plus, there was no more threat of Gabriel reentering her life. Things couldn't be better for Tegan Quin. Her life was finally starting to pick up. She was heading somewhere. And she was lucky enough to be doing all of that with the woman she loved.

That night she stayed up in bed just watching Sara sleep. It was the most peaceful thing she had ever witnessed. When she fell asleep she had thoughts of Sara, and only Sara, filling up her dreams.


	18. The First Day Off

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tegan and Sara rest and explore the area on their day off

Tegan smiled to herself as she woke up. Sara was still sleeping peacefully beside her. She could get used to waking up and watching her sleep. It was relaxing, the way that Sara's lips were curled into a slight smile over whatever she was dreaming of, and the way she adjusted closer to Tegan whenever Tegan moved. It was perfect.

Sara adjusted and Tegan could tell she was waking up. She watched as a yawn escaped Sara's mouth. She studied the perfect jawline.

"Quando dormi sembri una scultura pergettemente cesellata. Sei davvero un capolavoro."

Sara smiled at the foreign words, "I don't know what that means, but it sounded nice."

"You tell me why you left heaven and I'll tell you what I said." Sara grinned at the flirty ultimatum.

"Well, if you must know," Sara sat up in bed, "The reason why I came down to earth," She planted a kiss on Tegan's neck, "Is because I saw the prettiest being to ever exist, and I just had to meet her."

"Have you met her yet?" Tegan panted as Sara started placing kiss on her chin and jaw.

"Believe it or not," Sara tugged on Tegan's labret, "I've been sleeping with her."

Tegan moaned at the tugging and breathed a response, "Oh. She must be very lucky."

"You know it." She smiled and gave Tegan a playful wink, "Now, what did you say when I woke up?"

"Well…roughly…" Tegan started getting nervous, she didn't want Sara to think her cheesy, "I said that you were a perfectly etched sculpture…and…um…that you were like a perfect piece of art." She blushed, nervous about Sara knowing what she had said, half to herself, after watching her sleep.

"Really?" Sara's face lit up, "You think I look like a perfect sculpture?"

"Yeah." Tegan smiled in return, "Your jaw and collarbones are perfectly shaped. It's why I know you're an angel."

Sara smiled, her eyes welling up slightly at the compliment, "Thank you." She leaned in and kissed Tegan.

Tegan thought she would melt from the kiss. It was everything she lived for. Sara's perfect lips massaged her own gently, and her warm tongue explored her mouth. She didn't fight any of it, she just let it happen. Completely consumed by the kiss, she let herself lay back on the bed, Sara on top of her. Sara started to pull away.

"Don't stop." Tegan mumbled into Sara's mouth.

Sara pulled away from the kiss so she could look down at Tegan's face, "We have the whole day off today."

Tegan grinned, a whole day alone with Sara, "Yeah. So don't stop."

Sara reattached their lips and pulled at the hem of Tegan's wife beater. She eased it up to Tegan's breasts, stopping to place her hands on the muscular stomach.

"Your body is perfect." She smiled down at the woman who was crumbling at her touch, "Te amo, bella."

Tegan pulled her down into a hard kiss; she had never wanted anyone more. During the kiss she felt her shirt being lifted higher, until she had no choice but to lift her arms and detach her lips. Sara immediately removed her own shirt and went back to the kiss.

Sara deepened the kiss while gently cupping Tegan's breasts. She felt Tegan's hands wandering up her back, making quick work of the clasp on her bra. She pulled away from the kiss again, letting her bra fall off before tossing it off the bed.

"Oh God." Tegan moaned as she eyed Sara's bare breasts, "You're so perfect."

Sara slowly undid Tegan's bra, pulling it off of her arms and lightly dropping it next to the bed. She took the opportunity to hold Tegan's perfect breasts in her hands. She massaged them gently before leaning down and taking hold of one nipple in her mouth, giving it a lick, and then tugging on. Tegan gasped and moaned at the contact.

"Please?" Tegan practically begged as she tried to push Sara lower.

"Patience, bella." Sara smiled at her before slowly kissing her way down to Tegan's boxers.

She lingered at the hem, kissing the exposed skin just above it. Then she lowered the boxers slowly, gasping slightly at Tegan's now exposed sex. She gently rubbed one finger along her slit and Tegan let out a low moan that was almost a growl. A smile escaped her lips as she inched closer. Her hands rested on Tegan's stomach as she made her move.

Tegan whimpered at the initial contact of Sara's lips and tongue. After a few short seconds of licking Tegan started to moan loudly. She let out a sharp gasp as Sara sucked lightly on her clit. She propped her head up against the headboard so she could watch Sara.

Sara let out a low moan due to the sweet taste of Tegan's juices. She eagerly delved her tongue inside, wanting to taste more. After a few minutes of alternately moving in and pulling away to suck on Tegan's button, Sara replace her tongue with two fingers, steadily pumping into Tegan.

"Fuck!" Tegan breathed, "Faster."

Sara smiled and obliged. Pumping faster and licking at Tegan's slit.

"I'm almost…" Tegan couldn't finish her sentence, "Oh God." She let out a half scream, "Just a little more."

Sara quickly came up and attached her lips to Tegan, feeling Tegan's orgasm coarse through her body, feeling her juices flow. Tegan screamed and moaned into Sara's mouth.

"You taste good." Sara smirked as she licked her hand clean.

"Can I?" Sara leaned in for another kiss, letting Tegan taste herself in it.

"So," Sara smiled as she broke the kiss, "What do you want to do today?"

"You." Tegan flipped them over so she was now on top.

"Good answer." Sara laughed as Tegan greedily went after her neck, leaving little bites and kisses.

"You're really wet." Tegan's eyes danced with delight.

"It might have something to do with what I just did." Sara chuckled.

Tegan wasted no time. After licking Sara's slit a few time she inserted one finger.

"Do you want more?" She asked as she slowly pumped her finger inside Sara.

Sara nodded.

Tegan added a second finger and rubbed her clit with her thumb.

Sara's head rolled back, resting against the headboard, and she let out a pleased groan.

Tegan grinned at the sight and pumped faster. She then replaced her thumb with her tongue, licking and sucking on Sara's button. Sara gripped the sheets, a sign that she was already close. Tegan slowed down the pumping, wanting to make the moment last longer.

"Don't slow down." Sara shook her head, "Please, I want to come."

Tegan nodded and picked the pace back up, it wasn't long before Sara cried out Tegan's name in delight and her juices flooded over Tegan's chin and fingers.

"Thank you, bella." Sara panted, trying to steady her breath, "That felt so damn good."

"Yeah?" Tegan gave her a cocky grin, "It tasted damn gooder."

"Gooder? Really Tegan?" She laughed and Tegan ignored her, slowly wiping her chin clean with her hand.

"Don't get mad at my grammar." Tegan put on a mock stern look, "Or I might not do this again." She licked her hand clean and kissed Sara, letting Sara get a full taste of herself on Tegan's lips and tongue.

"I apologize." Sara smiled, "You can use whatever fake words you want."

"That's much better." Tegan laid her head down on Sara's chest, "I would hate to be mad at an angel over a silly thing like the word gooder."

They laid together for what seemed like hours, holding each other tight, somewhere between asleep and awake.

Tegan looked up at Sara's face. It had the same peaceful look it always had when she slept.

"Vorrei tenerti tra le mia braccia per sempe." Sara's whole face smiled at the words.

"More sculpture talk?"

Tegan shook her head, "I was just saying that I want to hold you forever. It sounds a lot better in Italian though."

"I think it sounds good in both languages." Sara closed her eyes, and Tegan could tell from her breathing, fell asleep.

"Sleep well angel." She brushed Sara's bangs away from her eyes and closed her own eyes.

When she opened them again Sara was looking directly at her.

"You're gorgeous." She smiled, "You looked really sweet and peaceful while you were sleeping."

"That's because you are here." Tegan smiled, "You look the same when you sleep."

"But I can't look as pretty as you do bella." Sara ran her hand through Tegan's hair.

"I have nothing on you angel." Tegan grinned her response, "Let's shower and go get something to eat."

They took a fairly quick shower. Tegan was starving. So she cleaned herself as fast as she could, just wanting to go and eat something, anything. She hurriedly pulled on a pair of boy shorts and skinny jeans. And after grabbing an undershirt she decided on her burgundy button up.

"I like that shirt." Sara smiled, "It looks good on you."

"Yeah?" Tegan grinned, "It looked good on you too."

"Trust me, it looks way better on you."

"I won't argue with you," Tegan let out a little chuckle, "but you're wrong."

Sara smiled and grabbed her brown leather jacket, "Where to?"

"I don't know." Tegan shrugged, "Let's go for a walk and eat at the first place that sounds good."

"Okay." Sara followed her to the elevator, "Chinese food sounds good right now. I hope there's some nearby."

Tegan smiled, "Chinese does sound good. I think I saw a little Chinese restaurant not far from the hotel."

They walked down the street in silence, fingers intertwined, just smiling from the pure bliss of being together. Tegan spotted the restaurant and they went in for some food.

They talked about how recording was going. Both of them were enjoying just sitting and watching Chris at work. They couldn't wait until they recorded their songs. After lunch they walked to the park. Even though it was over a mile from where they were, neither of them minded the long walk. They were too busy enjoying their time together.

They sat down on the same bench that they had a couple days ago. There was no fog, and the blue sky was breathtaking.

"This place is beautiful." Tegan spoke up after silently looking around at the trees.

"I think it's pretty green." Sara grinned letting out a small laugh.

"It is green though." Tegan laughed with her.

Sara rested her head on Tegan's shoulder, "It's peaceful here."

"Yeah," Tegan kissed the top of her head, "We'll have to some here as much as possible during recording.

"I totally agree." Sara smiled looking at her surroundings, it made her think of her best friend.

"So, I have something to tell you." Sara steadied her breath, she had no reason to be nervous.

"Yeah?" Jessie turned from the view of the small town to her friend, "Are you finally telling me why you were so upset a while ago?"

Sara nodded, "Yeah. I uh…discover something recently." She gulped trying to catch as much air as possible, "And I don't know why I'm nervous telling you this."

"You never need to be nervous around me. I'll always be here to comfort you." Sara smiled at the reassurance.

"I'm gay." She let it out, along with all the tension she had form holding it in for the last few months.

"Really?" Jess' face lit up, "That's awesome! Now we can be lesbian best friends forever!" She pulled Sara into a tight hug, "I totally knew already though."

"When did you find out?" Sara was shocked, she had been discreet whenever she had thought a girl was attractive.

"Two years ago." Jessie laughed at Sara's confused expression.

"But I've only been gay for four months."

"Sweaty, it doesn't work like that," She chuckled, "You realized you were gay a few months ago, you've been gay your whole life."

"Okay, but how did you figure out I was gay?"

"Do you remember Ashley?" Sara nodded, Ashley was the girl who worked at the movie theater, and she was hot, "You always stared at her while we were in line for drinks, and you totally tried to flirt with her. But you were terrible at flirting back then."

"Really?" Sara thought back and realized her friend was right, "How did I not realize I was gay back then? I totally was into her!"

"I know!" Jessie laughed again, "I've been waiting for you to come out since then. It took you long enough."

"I haven't come out to anyone else yet."

"Don't."

"Why?" Sara was confused; Jessie had been out for over a year. She had never cared what people thought.

"Because if your parents find out you'll be on your own, and you can't afford a college education."

"That's a good point." She smiled, glad to have such a level headed friend, "You just saved me several thousand dollars."

"I know." They grinned at each other. Sara was happy that she had finally built up the courage to tell her friend. They looked back out over town and Sara laid her head on her friends shoulder.

"Babe are you okay?" Tegan asked.

"I'm fine." Sara wiped the tears away, "Just thinking about Jessie."

Tegan rubbed her shoulder, "I'm so sorry you lost your friend."

"It's not your fault Tegan." Sara shook her head, fighting against the tears, "And she'll always be with me. So it's okay. I know she'd be happy for me Tegan. She was your biggest fan."

"Was she the one who introduced you to my music?"

"Her and her brother did." She smiled and nodded, "And he might want to tour with us as our bassist."

"That's awesome!" Tegan smiled, "I'd love to meet your best friend's brother."

Sara smiled at how genuinely happy Tegan looked. She was glad that Tegan was so excited to meet someone from her past. Shortly after that, they headed back to the hotel. And even though it was barely into the evening, they curled up in bed and slept, letting each other's warmth comfort them.


	19. The Second Day Off

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tegan and Sara take advantage of their last day off before getting back to recording

Tegan woke up when it was still dark out. She looked at the clock and saw that it was barely after five. She turned to admire Sara's sleeping form. The way she was curled up, hands as a pillow, was the perfect level of innocence. It made Tegan think about what Sara would have been like if Jessie were still alive. Maybe she would have been happier, but Tegan probably would never have met her, at least not under the same circumstances. She brushed Sara's hair behind her ear.

"I'm so sorry you lost your best friend." Tears were starting to form, "I hope I never know what that feels like. At least when my mamma died she went to a happier place, away from her living hell. But Jessie was in a happy place. I'm so, so sorry Sara." She cried silently, "I don't know how you survived that kind of pain. But I promise it won't happen again. I won't let it happen again." She planted a kiss on Sara's cheek and got out of bed.

She walked quietly to her door. The hallway was silent; no one was up yet, at least not on their floor. Tegan tiptoed over to Ted's room and knocked quietly. After waiting for a couple minutes she turned to walk back to her room. Then the door opened.

"Tegan?" Ted squinted sleepily into the hall, "What are you doing up so early?"

"We went to bed early and I didn't want to go back to sleep."

"Do you want to talk?" She nodded and he let her in his room. It looked the same as her and Sara's, only mirrored.

She sat down in a small armchair near the bed, "I just want to thank you for hiring Sara."

Ted smiled faintly, too tired to give a full effort, "No problem."

"Why did you hire her?"

"She came with a good resume."

"But I mean you get tons of applicants on a monthly basis."

"Yes," Ted was a little confused, "And I hired her because she really fit what I needed."

"Ted, I know you," Tegan tried to be as serious as possible, "There was a reason beyond her resume."

He let out a short sigh, "Yes, I suppose there was."

"What was it Ted?" She knew Ted well enough to know when he had hired someone for sentimental reasons. The way he interacted with Sara showed that he really cared about her more than his other employees.

"Honestly," Ted gulped in the morning air, "One of her references was a childhood friend of mine. Well, he's a few years older than I am, but he was my neighbor growing up and we always got along well. Anyway," He got back to the point, "I called him up and as soon as he realized who it was, he told me a bit of Sara's story. As soon as I heard that she had left to try to escape her family and the death of a close friend, I knew I had to at least interview her." Tegan nodded, her eyes begging him to continue, "Apparently she had been calling him every day since her friend's death. He was an intern at a hospital at the time, it was his first night working the emergency room, and he connected with her immediately. He let me know that he was afraid for her. She had started acting erratic again. After she left she hadn't called him. So when he heard that she was looking for a job he begged me to hire her." Tegan could see a few tears in Ted's eyes, "He had been afraid that she would do something…drastic. He asked me to keep an eye on her, so I hired her. And she just so happens to be the best worker at the bar."

"Thank you Ted," Tegan felt a few tears on her cheeks, "I don't know what I would be doing right now without her. You saved two lives by hiring her." Ted pulled her onto his bed, embracing her, comforting her with every ounce of his big brother abilities.

"I'm so glad of that, Tegan." He rocked her back and forth, calming her down by a good amount.

She just curled up in his arms, letting her emotions out. Ever since she heard about her dad she had a lot of emotional buildup. Ted sat there and held her tight.

"Now go back to her." He kissed the top of her head, "Let her know that there is someone who loves her more than anything in the world. She needs it as much as you do."

She nodded and mouthed a thank you, too emotional to speak.

"Anytime you need me," Ted smiled, "I will take all the time it needs to do whatever it is that you need."

She returned the smile and walked back to her room. She reentered the room as silently as possible and crawled back in bed.

She pulled Sara into a hug and she felt Sara stirring, but she was still asleep. Tegan knew she would never be able to thank Ted enough for what he had done. If he had never hired Sara, Tegan would still be just playing at the bar on weekends with no hope of a career. Sara was her saving grace in so many ways. She was flawless in her ability to constantly comfort Tegan. Perfect even when she was the broken one and Tegan comforted her. In Tegan's eyes, she could do nothing less than perfection. Sara stirred again, this time slowly opening one eye.

"Is it morning?" She asked before letting a small yawn escape.

"It's too early to get up angel." Tegan kissed her forehead, "Go back to sleep."

"But if I go back to sleep I can't look at you." Sara pouted.

"I'll be in your dreams," Tegan kissed her cute button nose, "I promise."

"Okay." Sara mumbled and placed her head under Tegan's chin, "Goodnight then."

"Sweet dreams angel." Tegan allowed herself to fall back asleep; taking comfort in Sara's arms, and silently thanking whatever deity it was that had put them together. She chuckled softly, imagining that Ted was really a god of some sort.

Next thing she knew she was waking up in the late morning, and Sara was sitting up in bed reading a book. She smiled to herself, watching Sara's brow furrow in concentration at whatever it was she was reading.

"Hi angel." Sara jumped at the sound of Tegan's voice.

"You're awake." She smiled at Tegan, "Did you sleep well?"

"I slept very well." They sat in silence, both smiling at the thought of just being there together, "Whatcha reading?"

"Um…" Sara looked a little embarrassed, "It's a kid's book. It's called 'The Phantom Tollbooth'."

"Really?" Tegan chuckled, "A kid's book Sara? I was definitely expecting some sort of deep and meaningful book."

"But it's a quirky kid's book." Sara pulled the corners of her lips down, "It's really enjoyable."

"Whatever you say." Tegan flashed her gummy smile.

"Don't judge me." Sara smiled back at her.

"I won't." Tegan leaned up to kiss her, "Angels are perfect, so how could I judge perfection?"

Sara blushed and quickly hid her face, "Thanks, that was really sweet."

"I love you Sara." Tegan pulled her into another kiss, "Don't ever forget that."

"How can I when you keep reminding me?" Sara laughed, "I love you too."

Tegan smiled and leaned back into the kiss, deepening it with every second. When she finally pulled away she stared dreamily at Sara, "I love waking up like this."

"Then you'll really love what comes next." Sara grinned mischievously and straddled Tegan's lap. She leaned down and bit softly on Tegan's bottom lip, tugging as Tegan tried to kiss her. Tegan moaned as Sara gave her labret a playful lick.

"Fuck." Tegan breathed as Sara bunched her shirt up, pulling it off with one smooth motion, "You're so damn hot."

"You're hotter." She leaned back down and kissed Tegan passionately.

She grinned after she pulled away. Before Tegan knew it, her boxers were being pulled down. She surrendered herself to it and leaned her head back.

There was a knock on the door.

"Goddammit!" Sara quickly jumped up and walked over to the door and opened it hurriedly, "What Ted?"

"Um…" Ted was confused by her angry tone, "I was just letting you know that I need to go back to Vancouver. Some business needs to be attended to, so I was just letting you know that I am off to the airport."

"Oh." Sara looked behind her nervously, "Are you going to come back down?"

"I don't know when I'll be able to." Ted's spirits seemed to be low, "I'd hate to miss out on the whole recording. So I'll try and find some more time off."

"Well hopefully you can." She smiled at him, "See you in…well…probably like a month."

"Yeah," Ted knew he had interrupted something intimate, "Tell Tegan bye for me. And get back to whatever it is that you were doing before I interrupted." He winked and laughed.

"God Ted," She shook her head, "Do you enjoy tormenting me?"

He grinned, "Yes!" She shut the door in his face and walked back to the bed.

"What was that about?" Tegan asked as Sara sat down.

"Ted's going to Vancouver." Tegan looked disappointed, "Work stuff. He said he'll try and come back before recording is done though."

"That's good." Tegan let a small smile cross her lips, "I kinda like having him around."

"Yeah," Sara smiled shyly, "He kind of ruined our moment though. So good riddance."

Tegan chuckled and pulled Sara in for a hug, "We'll have plenty of time to make up for that moment."

"Is that a promise?" Sara grinned.

"Yes," Tegan kissed her cheek, "I think we should go out for dinner tonight, and then we can come back here for dessert."

"Oh god." Sara gasped, "That sounds good."

"I was hoping you'd think so." Tegan grinned and kissed Sara, "Let's go find something to do downtown."

"Okay," Sara agreed, getting out of the hotel would be nice, and as long as Tegan was there she didn't care where they went, "Get dressed."

"If you say so." Tegan rolled out of bed and grabbed a fresh pair of jeans and a v neck.

"So, where do you want to go?" Sara asked as Tegan put her clothes on.

"They have a music museum." Tegan pulled her v neck over her head, "It would be cool to seem some of the local artist's stories; like Hendrix and Cobain."

"Then let's go there." Sara smiled.

Tegan had a huge grin on her face. She was looking forward to it; the museum, downtown, and especially spending the day with Sara, her perfect angel.


	20. Downtown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The second half of their day off

Sara watched as Tegan excitedly looked at all the displays at the music museum. She had a huge smile on her face as Tegan pointed to something and excitedly explained what it was. Sara didn't really retain any of the things she learned at the museum, she was far too busy taking mental images of Tegan's excited state. Something about the way Tegan looked intently at the words with a mixed expression of awe and joy made Sara happy. Not a regular 'I'm happy today kind of happy' but more of along the lines of 'I'm so in love with her I never want to leave her' kind. She took mental notes of each of Tegan's different stages of joy she showed. How she let out a little squeal when she saw a display about Kurt Cobain. The way her mouth hung slightly open as she saw a guitar that once belonged to Jimi Hendrix. Sara couldn't help but smile to herself at the way Tegan marveled and the giant cone of guitars that went from the floor to the ceiling.

"Oh my god!" Tegan's jaw was hanging open, "That's so freaking awesome!"

"Yeah?" Sara smiled big as Tegan slowly walked around the art piece.

"It's such a cool idea," She continued to marvel at it, "I wish I could do stuff like this."

"I'd rather listen to you sing than stare at this for an hour." Sara smiled and got a small chuckle to escape Tegan.

"Thank you." Tegan hugged her, "And I'd rather listen to you sing as well."

"You're just saying that." Sara teased her and kissed her nose.

"Am not." Tegan smiled showing her gums, "There are a lot of things I'd rather do than look at this piece of art that involve you. Pretty much anything I do with you is better than looking at this. But I still think it's awesome." Tegan smiled and turned back to look at the guitars.

Sara smiled again, watching her girlfriend admire the artwork with the knowledge that Tegan care as much for her as she did for Tegan.

"Come on Sara look at this one." Jessie pointed excitedly at the picture of the kitten on her laptop.

"It's just a cat." Sara shrugged after seeing the photo.

"But it's so cute!" Jess had the biggest smile on her face, "It's a perfect little ball of fur."

Sara laughed at her friend's enthusiasm over the kitten. But she couldn't help but enjoy watching her looking at the pictures. She always looked so happy when she was looking at animals. She always talked about wanting to adopt several from shelters after college. Sara wished she had that kind of passion for something. But as of yet, she hadn't found anything to get too excited about.

"Yeah, it's cute." She smiled at her friend.

"Don't you just love little animals?" Jessie scrolled through, looking at more pictures.

"They're okay."

"They're more than okay." Jessie took mock offense at the statement, "They're fabulously awesome!"

"Whatever, Jess." Sara laughed.

"That's it." Jess looked over at her, "When we're done with college I'm getting you a cat. You'll learn to love it."

"No." Sara chuckled shaking her head, "No pets please."

"It's not your decision to make," Jess smiled, "You can't refuse a gift from me."

"Damn you." Sara laughed again, "That's just not fair. Fine, but only if it comes with a bow around its neck, otherwise it's not a real present and I'll just give it right back."

"Deal." Jessie grinned excitedly.

Even though Sara wasn't looking forward to owning a pet, she smiled anyway. She would do anything to keep Jessie happy.

"Sara are you okay?" Tegan turned from the art and saw a pained look on Sara's face.

"Yeah." Sara half smiled, "Just thinking about Jess."

"Yeah?" Tegan walked up and put her arm around Sara, "What about her? Good times, I hope?"

"Yes," Sara smiled, "It was just a conversation we had once. She said she would buy me a cat. She had always wanted to adopt pets, but she never did." A few tears ran down her cheeks.

"Hey," Tegan tried to calm her by rubbing her back, "Let's go back to the hotel just hang out for a while. Okay?"

"Okay." Sara didn't want to argue, but she felt bad about Tegan ending her day of fun in the city, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry Sara," Tegan planted a kiss on her cheek, "There's nothing to be sorry about. We'll be here for a while, I can come and look at this stuff some other time."

"Are you sure?" She felt less guilty after Tegan spoke.

"Yes," Tegan smiled, "You're obviously going through an emotional time over your best friend. I can help some of the pain go away."

"I'd like that." Sara wiped a few tears away.

"I'll go find a cab." Tegan smiled and lead Sara outside. She flagged down a taxi driver and told him what hotel they were staying at. They sat in the cab and Sara rested her head on Tegan's shoulder, tears still brimming in her eyes and staining her cheeks.

They made it back to the hotel rather quickly. Tegan immediately had Sara sit down and went to the phone.

"Do you want coffee or tea or something?" She asked, ready to dial the front desk.

"Tea sounds nice."

Tegan ordered the tea and when it came she sat down on the bed with Sara.

"Do you want me to turn on the TV?" Tegan asked, trying to gauge the emotion level Sara was at.

"No thank you." Sara shook her head and took a sip of tea.

"Can I ask you something?" Tegan talked after several seconds of silence.

"Sure." Sara smiled through the obvious pain Tegan saw in her eyes.

"What was your relationship with Jess like?"

Sara paused to think before answering, "We were best friends. I would have died for her if I could have."

"Were you just friends?" Tegan needed to know the extent of the relationship before she could truly comfort and help Sara through the emotional pain.

"Yes." Sara said after a moment's hesitation.

Tegan could tell Sara was hiding something, "Did you like her? Did you want to be more than friends?"

Sara just nodded her head as the tears spilled out, "I loved her. I think I fell in love with her. And I didn't realize until the accident."

Tegan just sat there and hugged Sara, "I'm so sorry Sara. I know I will never fill the void she left. But I will try my best to make you happy again. And we will never forget about her and how much she means to you."

"I'd like that." Sara sent her a genuine smile, "I think I want to go to Montreal when we finish the album. I want to see her again."

"Can I come with?" Tegan rubbed her back slowly.

"I'll need you there." Sara wiped a few tears away, "I'll have a complete breakdown if I'm in Montreal alone."

"Then that's what we'll do," Tegan smiled, "The first thing we'll do when we finish the album is go to Montreal."

"Thank you." Sara's emotions were twisted in a ball, mixing her new joy with her old sadness, leaving her a complete wreck on the inside, "I'm sorry that I've been crying all day."

"It's nothing to be sorry about." Tegan assured her, "It's necessary to cry sometimes. And this is one of those times."

They sat together for several minutes, silent aside from the sobs escaping Sara's body. Tegan just sat there; rubbing Sara's back, thinking about the pain she was obviously going through.

"Tegan," Sara finally spoke, her tears were done coming, "No one can fill the void of losing a loved one, but you have come closer to filling it than I thought possible. I love you so much Tegan."

"I love you too." Tegan pulled her in for a kiss, "Don't you ever forget that."

"I won't." Sara smiled and lay down, resting her head on Tegan's lap.

It didn't take long for her to fall asleep. Tegan just smiled when she realized she had fallen asleep. She leaned back and lay down as well. As much as she didn't want to sleep in the middle of the day, she just couldn't wake up Sara to move her off of her lap. So, she fell asleep and she was comforted in every way by the physical reminder that Sara was with her. Her dreams were filled with reminders; reminders that let her know that Sara was really there.

Sara's sleep was confusing. She couldn't tell what was happening. But she saw Jessie over and over in different situations. But at the end of every dream Jessie turned into Tegan. It was like her dreams were accusing her of replacing her friend.

She woke up still resting on Tegan's lap.

"I'm not replacing you Jess." She spoke softly to the air around her, "No one can replace you. But I have to move on with my life. I know you understand that. I miss you Jess. I'm going to visit you as soon as I'm done recording. It's been too long. When I get there I'll tell you everything that's been going on since I left. But please, please never think that I'm trying to replace you. There will always be part of me that will ache for you. It's just the way things are. No one can come in and make that go away. No one can replace our bond. I can't wait to talk to you again." She fell back asleep as soon as she finished talking and this time peace did come.


	21. It's Been A While

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tegan and Sara go to Montreal

They had been recording for a month and a half. They had finished all the vocals and most of the instruments. It went by without too many issues. Ted had come back a few times to record guitar and some keyboard. Jason had worked his magic on the drums. Now it was time for Chris to mix it all.

"Hey girls," He said when Tegan put him on speaker, "I won't need any more from you guys in the studio."

"Really?" Tegan was relieved, the stress from recording was getting to her.

"Yeah," She could tell he was happy, "Unless you want to be involved with the mixing process."

"Nah," Sara answered, "I think we'll leave that to you."

"Okay, sounds good."

"Awesome."

"One more thing." He said before hanging up.

"What's that?" Tegan was dreading his response, she was done with recording and she didn't want to go back just yet.

"Album art. What do you guys have in mind?"

"Oh…" Sara hadn't really thought about that.

"I know an artist who would be thrilled to help out." Tegan answered seeing how nervous Sara was.

"Okay, just give them my number and have them call me." Chris was the best in Tegan's mind. Even though he was the producer he was giving them almost complete control over the album.

"Awesome." Tegan smiled, "I'll call her immediately.

"Great," She could tell he was relieved, "I'll talk to you guys soon."

"Yeah," They answered in unison, "Bye."

Tegan pressed the end call button and smiled at Sara, "I need to call someone real quick."

"Who?" Tegan wasn't going to tell her, and she knew it. Tegan always loved to tease her.

"A friend." She smirked and grabbed the phone to make the call.

After a couple of rings there was an answer and Tegan pressed the speaker button.

"Hello?" A familiar voice came through the speakers.

"Emy!" Tegan smiled, she hadn't talked to her friends in a while.

"Tegan?" Emy sounded shocked, maybe even concerned, "Why are you calling? Is something wrong?"

"Yes Emy." Tegan bit her lip to hold back a laugh.

"Oh God! What happened?" Sara glared at Tegan, not appreciating the unnecessary torture.

"We need someone to come up with album artwork." Tegan let out a short laugh.

"You bitch!" Tegan could hear Emy chuckle, "You had me worried. Why are you telling me about this?"

"Come on Emy," Tegan rolled her eyes, "I know you're an artist. I've seen some of your work, and it's incredible. I'd…We'd really appreciate if you could do this for us." Tegan bit her lip, she knew that Emy didn't normally display her artwork.

"I'll do it." Emy was smiling widely now, but she sounded shaky "I'm nervous though."

"Don't be, you'll be great."

"Yeah?" Emy's voice returned to normal, "What's the album name?"

"The Con."

"Like convict?"

"Yes and no." Sara spoke this time, "More like the act of a con…not like prisoners in striped suits."

"Got it."

"We'll talk to you more when we get back to Vancouver." Tegan couldn't wait to see her friends again.

"When will that be?"

"Not for about a week." She heard a disappointed sigh, "We're heading to Montreal to see some of Sara's old friends."

"Oh?" Emy returned to her happy self, "Well have fun in Montreal."

"We will Emy." Tegan smiled as another thought popped into her head, "Does Lindsey still have that photography hobby?"

"Yeah," Emy answered, "Why?"

"Well," Tegan's grin widened, "We'll need a photographer eventually."

"Oh my god!" Emy shouted, "You'll have to tell her as soon as you get back!"

"Will do Emy!" Tegan laughed, "Goodbye!"

"Bye."

Tegan jumped excitedly, "It's like we're a real band now!"

"I know!" Sara was definitely excited too, "I can't wait to tell Courtney and Shaun!"

"Who's Courtney?" Tegan couldn't recall if she had heard the name before.

"He's a very close friend of mine." Sara smiled, "You'll love him."

"Then I can't wait to meet him." Tegan smiled and planted a kiss on Sara's nose.

The next day they were sitting in an airplane, waiting for takeoff to take them to Montreal. Tegan was able to sleep, a restless sleep, but it was still sleep. When she woke up they were minutes from landing.

"You're awake." Sara smiled over at her, "I thought I was gonna have to carry you out of the plane."

"Hi angel," Tegan smiled sleepily, "If I had still been asleep you could have woken me."

"But I kind of wanted to carry you." Sara pouted.

"I'm sorry I ruined that for you." Tegan gave her a kiss on the cheek, "I really am looking forward to meeting your friends. Who am I meeting first?"

"Courtney." Sara smiled, "He'll be getting off work soon."

After they gathered their luggage they went and hailed a cab. Tegan was a little surprised when the taxi stopped in front of a hospital.

"Is this where he works?"

"Yeah," Sara smiled, "I met him because he works here."

They walked through the door and made their way to the lobby. Sara sat down watching the elevator, waiting for Courtney's shift to end.

When the elevator arrived a man stepped out of it. He was average height, had short brown hair and he had a very nice, youthful looking face. Tegan felt very at ease just looking at him.

"Courtney." Sara called out as he walked toward the door.

He turned, looking around for who had said his name.

"Courtney."

He looked at Sara for a second before realizing who it was, "Sara?" He ran up and pulled her into a hug, pulling her off the ground and spinning a couple times, "What are you doing back?"

"I'm here to visit," She smiled at him, "And Tegan is here to meet my friends."

"Hi." Tegan smiled at the man, offering him her hand.

"It's great to meet you Tegan," He shook her hand, "I'm Courtney."

"It's nice to meet you Courtney." She almost melted when he smiled, it was the sweetest, most comforting smile she had ever witnessed.

"Can we buy you lunch?" Sara asked, "I'd love to talk for a while."

"Sure," He nodded his head slowly, "But you really don't have to pay."

"I want to," Sara's expression turned serious, "It's the least I can do to repay you for what you've done over the years."

"I don't need you to repay me Sara," He tried to convince her, "Seeing you happy is the only payment I need."

"I'm buying you lunch." Sara laughed, "You can't stop me."

"Fine," He laughed and shook his head in defeat, "Where do you want to go?"

"Is that café a few blocks from here still in business?" Sara's eyes looked hopeful.

"You mean Alexander's?" He asked with a small smile, "They'd stay in business even if I was their only customer, I'm there enough."

"Yeah?" Sara let out a relieved sigh, "I used to love that place."

"Let's go, I'll drive you guys."

They got in the back of his car and made the short drive to the café.

"So Tegan," Courtney spoke to Tegan for the first time since saying hi, "Sara told me that you guys were recording an album together?"

"Yeah," Tegan smiled, "We just finished all the vocals and…well, pretty much everything the two of us had to do."

"Did it go well?" He asked, glancing briefly at Sara who was looking out the window at the once familiar city, "Was anything…tough to get through?"

Tegan knew he was concerned about Sara and not the actual recording time, "It started out a little rough, but things got better." She smiled and he gave her a small nod.

"Glad to hear it." He smiled, a sense of relief washing over his face.

They rode the rest of the way in silence, before pulling up in front of a small restaurant.

"I missed this place." Sara smiled as she exited the car.

"Yeah?" Courtney walked toward the door.

"We used to go here all the time when you were on break." Tegan could see pain in Sara's eyes for a brief second, but it was quickly replaced by a smile.

Courtney spent most of the meal time asking Tegan basic questions. He was making an effort to get to know her, but he also could tell she had a painful past and kept the questions simple. Tegan enjoyed talking with him. He had a genuine smile on his face the entire time he talked. His blue eyes seemed like they were pools of joy; at least that's how Tegan perceived them.

"Are you sure you don't want me to pay?" He asked, obviously not wanting to make Sara spend her hard EARNED MONEY on him, "I really don't mind paying."

"I've got this." She smiled at him, "Besides, we're about to be super stars, I think I can afford an inexpensive lunch."

"Right," He laughed, "I completely forgot you were on your way to superstardom."

"Don't forget again." She laughed along with him, "Although, pretty soon our faces will be everywhere, making it impossible for you to forget."

"Too true."

After paying they piled back into his car.

"Where to?"

"Um," Sara's eyes were full of deep emotion, "I need to visit Jessie."

"Okay," He rubbed her shoulder gently, "I'll just wait in the car when we get there."

"Okay."

The cemetery wasn't far from the café. Tegan realized that Sara had probably spent a lot of time at these three locations.

"Do you want me to go with you?" Tegan asked as Sara stepped out of the car.

"Give me a few minutes alone first." Sara gave her a half smile and walked toward the middle of the cemetery.

Courtney waited until she was out of earshot to talk, "Did she tell you why we're friends?"

Tegan shook her head.

"She used to call me pretty much every day." He kept his eyes on Sara, "I was the one who had to deliver the unfortunate news," Tegan had a wave of realization hit her, "I've helped her through some very tough times. And I was terrified when she moved. She didn't tell me ahead of time, she just left. I found out she left from Shaun. So when she called me and told me about you I was relieved."

"She ran away?" Tegan was a little shocked at that.

"Not exactly," He shook his head, "It was the only way she knew how to cope. So, it was more a moving on than it was a running away. At least, that's what she thought."

"Why didn't she tell you though?"

"She didn't want me to tell her not to." He gave Tegan a half smile, "She was afraid I would disagree with the choice to leave. But it was what she needed. She wasn't doing well here."

"In what way?" Tegan was getting concerned.

"She was starting to get worse emotionally," His eyes darkened, "I think if she hadn't moved she'd either be living alone, locked up away from all human contact, or she would have ended it. You're her saving grace, Tegan. You can't hurt her. If you do," He gave Tegan his full attention, "It will ruin her entirely."

"Trust me when I say this," She met his concerned, protective stare, "I can't afford to hurt her, because if I do, I will die. She's my whole world. I can't lose any more people in my life."

"Thank you." He looked back over at Sara.

Sara stood in front of a simple tombstone.

"Hey Jessie," She paused, trying to keep from breaking down, "I've really missed you. I know I said I'd visit at least once a week, but I had to leave. I apologize for the length between visits. It's not because I didn't care about you. It's because I cared too much. I couldn't bare Montreal without you being in it. It was too much for me. But I needed to come back. I needed to see you and Shaun." She was crying freely, letting out the emotions that had built up over the last month and a half of recording, "I miss you so much." She turned and looked back at the car, beckoning for Tegan to come and join her, "I brought a friend with me, I'd love for you to meet her." Tegan was only feet away, "It's Tegan." She smiled at the grave stone.

"Hi angel." Tegan wrapped Sara up in a hug.

"Can you just hold me for a while?" Sara sobbed into her shoulder.

"I'll hold you for however long you need." Tegan rocked slowly, back and forth, as she held Sara tightly.

They stood there for a few minutes in complete silence, other than the muffle sobs coming from Sara. Sara finally lifted her head up and wiped away a few tears.

"Let's go meet Shaun." She smiled, and it warmed Tegan's heart.

"That sounds like a great idea." Tegan smiled back.

Tegan was nervous; she didn't want to leave a bad impression on Shaun. All she knew about him was that he was the older brother of Sara's best friend, and that he at least used to listen to Tegan's music. Sara could tell Tegan was nervous about it, so she sat in the back seat of the car with Tegan and held her the entire car ride.

Courtney pulled up in front of a small, cozy looking house. Sara slowly got out of the car. She held Tegan's hand and walked up to the door. After knocking a few times the door opened.

"Oh my god!" Shaun's mouth was hanging open, "Sara?"

"Hey Shaun." He pulled her in for a huge bear hug.

"What are you doing in Montreal?" He had a smile on his face, but he was in complete shock.

"I needed to see you," She smiled at him, "And I just visited Jess."

"I was there last week," His expression became serious, "I always make sure her stone is clean and shining. Because I know that's how she would want it." He smiled again.

"Yeah," Sara fought against her emotions, "Shaun, this is…"

"Tegan Quin," He smiled and hugged her, "I love your music."

"Yeah?" Tegan smiled.

"I listened to it a lot after…" He paused, trying to keep his composure, "It helped a lot."

"I'm glad of that."

"So," He returned to his smiling state, "How's recording going?"

"We're done." Sara smiled, "Chris Walla is just finishing all the mixing. But we're done recording."

"That's awesome," He opened the door completely, "Come on in."

Tegan walked in shyly. Sara was holding her hand and it was comforting to her. But she felt nervous being in a strange city, in a stranger's house. It reminded her of when she used to go to her parent's friends' houses. The uneasy feeling of not knowing the people there, and being surrounded by pictures and paintings that were unfamiliar. They sat on a couch in the small living room.

"Do you guys need anything to eat?" Shaun offered.

"No," Courtney answered for them, "We had lunch not too long ago."

"Okay," Shaun walked around a corner, "Anything to drink?"

"I'd like some coffee." Sara called out to him.

"What a shock." He laughed from the kitchen.

"I'd like coffee as well." Tegan called out timidly.

"Cream? Sugar?"

"Black," Tegan half blurted before adding a somewhat shy, "Please."

"Coming right up."

Tegan looked around the room while she waited for Shaun to return. It was painted in neutral colors. There were a few pictures up, of what Tegan assumed was his family, and one on the wall across from her of a teenage girl.

"Is that her?" Tegan asked while looking at the picture.

"Yes." Sara nodded and smiled, "That was not long after graduation. The three of us were camping near a lake. She was the only one who really enjoyed the outdoors, but we went along anyway. It was one of the best summer vacations I ever took."

"She was really pretty." Tegan said after several seconds' silence.

"Yeah," Sara chuckled to herself, "She turned down a lot of guys on a regular basis."

Shaun walked into the living room holding two mugs, "Here you are." He smiled and handed them to the girls.

"Thanks." Tegan gave him a small smile and sipped her coffee.

"So," Sara grinned at Shaun, "I'm feeling really confident about our album. Ten thousand sales will be a piece of cake."

"Ah," Shaun returned the grin, "So you really want me to play bass, eh?"

"Yes."

"Alright," He looked at Tegan, "Do you want me to play bass?"

"We don't have a bassist." She shrugged.

"Okay then," He smiled back at Sara, "Let me know when you plan on touring."

"Thank you!" Sara jumped up from her seat and hugged him.

"I'm doing it for Jessie," He hugged her tight, "But I'm also doing it for my best friend."

"Thank you so much Shaun." Tegan could see a few tears trickle down Sara's cheeks.

They spent the rest of the afternoon talking. Shaun told a few embarrassing stories of when Sara was a teenager. To which Sara retaliated with equally embarrassing stories of Shaun. Courtney and Tegan sat, as the outsiders, and just laughed at the stories, both enjoying the friends being on such friendly terms with each other.

They left Shaun's house at around four pm. And Tegan and Sara were exhausted from the plane ride.

"Do you guys have a place to stay?" Courtney asked as they got in the car.

"We were just going to go to a motel or something." Sara shrugged.

"Unacceptable," He smiled at them, "I have a spare room."

"We don't want to intrude." Tegan felt guilty.

"You're not intruding." He reassured her, "I would love to have you guys spend the night, or the weekend, or however long you're in Montreal."

"Thanks." Sara smiled back at him, "We really appreciate it."

"Don't mention it." He turned the key and pulled away from Shaun's house.

They stopped at Courtney's apartment building and he led them up a couple flights of step. He showed them the guest room and he said goodnight. He had worked the night shift and had been up for eighteen hours.

Tegan immediately fell asleep in Sara's arms. Sara watched her sleep.

"I love you so much Tegan," She murmured to the air, "Sleep well."

She fell asleep soon after. They both slept peacefully, dreaming of only good things, comforted by each other's touch.


	22. Different Place Same Activities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tegan and Sara spend a day together

Tegan woke up early. Sara was sleeping beside her and looked as peaceful and happy as she did every morning. She heard the bedroom door open. She lifted her head to look at Courtney standing in the doorframe.

"Hey," He whispered over to her, "I was going to leave a note, but I'll just tell you instead. I am heading to the hospital and I'll be gone until at least eight."

Tegan nodded in response and he slowly, quietly, closed the door. She turned to Sara a pulled her into a hug, careful not to wake her. Sara sighed in her sleep and relaxed completely in Tegan's arms. Tegan smiled to herself and rested her head on Sara's shoulder. She could get used to this; waking up every morning to the prettiest girl she'd ever seen sleeping peacefully beside her. It was such a change from her past. All the one night stands she did after moving to Vancouver. They were only ever sexually gratifying, not emotionally, and Tegan was so glad to be passed that. She smiled to herself and breathed in the scent of Sara's hair. The smell was familiar to her. And after all the months of different girls and different scents, it was comforting to Tegan to know the way the woman in her bed looked, smelled, and even the way she breathed in her sleep.

After several minutes of being lost in thought, she felt Sara stirring, "Good morning bella." Sara's gruff morning voice was music to Tegan's ear.

"Hi Angel." Sara smiled in response to the pet name, "Courtney is working all day, so we can do anything."

"Anything?" Sara grinned and kissed Tegan.

"Anything." Tegan smiled into the kiss.

Sara's stomach rumbled quietly, "We should eat something first."

"I'll go look through the kitchen," Tegan sat up in bed, "See if there's anything I can prepare quickly." Tegan planted a kiss on Sara's head and got up to walk to the kitchen.

Sara lay in bed just listening to Tegan walking around in the apartment. She was glad that she had finally found someone who was good for her. Tegan took care of her, despite her own pains, and she always made sure she was happy. Sara dozed off briefly but woke up to the smell of bacon.

"Hi angel," Tegan was smiling down at her, "I made bacon and eggs."

Sara mumbled back a sleepy, "Thanks."

Tegan handed her a plate of food and turned toward the door, "What do you want to drink?"

"Coffee." Sara answered before taking a bite of bacon.

"Okay." Tegan turned and smiled at Sara before walking back out the door.

She went back to the kitchen and looked around. She opened several cupboards in her search for the coffee. Finally, she found it in the cupboard closest to the fridge. After making sure the coffee maker had plenty of water and was plugged in, Tegan poured the grounds into the filter and hit start. Knowing it would take a while to brew, she took a look around the small living room just outside of the kitchen. There were several pictures of, what Tegan assumed, family; and even more of friends from the hospital and from Courtney's past. She almost choked on the air as she inhaled. Sitting on the kitchen counter, facing the living room, was a picture of Ted and Courtney from only a few years ago.

"Holy Shit!" Tegan was hit with a wave of realization. Of course this was the friend who helped Sara get the job at The Hap.

"What's wrong?" Sara came running out of the guest room, a concerned look on her face.

"It's nothing," Tegan smiled, trying to act casual, "Just uh…" She didn't know why she didn't just say it, but she couldn't do it, "Just hit my funny bone on the counter." She lied, hoping that Sara wouldn't see the picture of Ted.

"That's the worst." Sara pouted at Tegan before kissing her, "Does it feel better now?"

"Much." Tegan moaned at Sara's pulling away from the kiss. She heard a loud beep and looked to the kitchen, "Coffee's done."

Sara smiled and walked to the coffee maker, "You made kind of a lot for just the two of us."

"Hey," Tegan chuckled, "We'll need some caffeine to keep our energy up."

"Oh?" Sara smiled coyly, "Keep our energy up for what?"

Tegan grinned seductively, "You know exactly what." She pulled off her oversized t shirt and stood there in a sports bra and briefs.

"Oh." Sara gasped out, "Come here now." She commanded pointing to the ground in front of her.

Tegan obeyed and they immediately latched lips, tongues moving about passionately. Tegan pushed Sara back against the counter.

"You better hurry and drink your coffee." She pulled away, grabbing her discarded shirt on her way back to the room.

"I will." Sara grinned and took a sip, watching Tegan walk away.

Tegan didn't have to wait in the room long. Sara entered, pulling off her own shirt, and immediately started to kiss Tegan's shoulders and collarbone.

Tegan moaned at the soft lips on her skin, silently begging for more.

Sara smirked and kissed lower, making her way down to Tegan's fit stomach. She wasted no time in pulling off Tegan's briefs. She stared for a second, taking in the beautiful sight in front of her. She felt Tegan's hand start to grab on to her hair, "Sit on the bed first Tegan." Tegan obeyed and sat down on the bed, leaning back on her elbows as soon as Sara's tongue made contact.

Tegan could feel Sara licking her slit. That's all she could feel. She allowed herself to be absorbed by the sensation. Every time Sara changed just a little bit of what she was doing, Tegan let the new feeling pull her in. Soon she felt Sara's finger rubbing along the top. She moaned at the touch and gasped when she felt the finger being slipped in, working in tandem with the tongue that was already in place. She lifted her head up and opened her eyes to catch a glimpse at the perfect beauty between her legs. Just the site of Sara made Tegan gasp and moan louder which encouraged Sara to add a second finger and move just slightly faster. Tegan's head rolled back almost immediately. She lay completely on her back, one hand grasping for Sara's hair, the other working on her own breasts. As soon as she caught hold of Sara she pushed just enough to let Sara know she needed more. Sara quickened the pace by a little bit, and she was now occasionally sucking hard on Tegan's clit. Tegan could feel her moment of bliss coming.

"Sara I'm so close," She half screamed, half moaned, "Just a little more."

Sara lifted her head to look at Tegan who did the same. Their eyes met and for a second Sara could see the vulnerability that Tegan fought to hide. Then that second passed.

"Oh god!" Tegan shouted out, "Fuck! Oh, Sara!" Her last shout was milliseconds before she came on Sara's hand.

Sara smiled up at her and licked her hand cleaned, causing Tegan to moan at the sight.

"Come here." Sara agreed and eagerly kissed Tegan, letting Tegan's tongue explore her entire mouth. When Tegan finally pulled away she just looked into Sara's eyes, "You're perfect, angel."

Sara smiled in response, "It's only because I found you. I'm not as broken as I once was."

"No," Tegan smiled, "Neither am I."

Sara rested her head on Tegan's chest. Tegan smiled and started playing with her hair.

"Now," Tegan spoke up after a couple of minute's silence, "I think it's your turn to sit on the bed." Sara grinned and nodded.

Tegan got off the bed and pulled off her sports bra; to which Sara responded by biting her lip and pulling off her own bra. Tegan smiled at the sight and positioned herself between Sara's legs, ready to give her the same treatment she had just received.

She licked at Sara's slit gently, eliciting a soft moan from Sara, and placed her hands on Sara's stomach. She moved her hands around as she licked, eventually resting them on her hips. She then lifted Sara up and pulled her closer. Then the attack started. She aggressively used her tongue on Sara. Licking and sucking. Licking and sucking. Over and over. Eventually she added a finger and toned down the use of her tongue. Sara gasped at the sudden change. But Tegan wasted no time. A second finger was already working with the first. Sara's moans filled the room, and wandered out the bedroom door, finding their way into every crack and hole, every cupboard and closet, filling the entire apartment with her sounds of pleasure. Before she knew it she was on the edge.

"Kiss me." She whimpered, pulling Tegan up to her by her hair.

Tegan kissed hard, working her fingers faster. She could feel Sara's moans vibrating in her mouth. Then she felt Sara's juices flowing over her hand and she could hear Sara's cracked scream of pleasure as their lips detached. After licking fingers clean she kissed Sara again, letting Sara's tongue work its way around her mouth. Sara let out a low moan as she pulled away from the kiss.

"And you think I'm perfect." She smiled at Tegan.

Tegan smirked, "I guess we'll just both have to be perfect then."

"I can live with that." Sara let out a soft laugh.

"Good," Tegan smiled at her, "Cause I don't want to live with anyone else."

"Me either." Sara hugged Tegan tightly to her body.

"When we get enough money," Tegan spoke up after a few silent seconds, "We should rent an apartment together. Something this size…or maybe a little bigger. Who knows how much we'll make selling this record."

"I'd love to do that." Sara just smiled at the thought of officially living with Tegan.

"I'm gonna need some coffee." Tegan spoke, sounding tired, "Then let's do this some more."

"I like that plan."

Tegan walked back out to the kitchen and poured herself a cup. She smiled to herself as she drank. For some reason she had been afraid that Sara wouldn't have wanted to get an apartment together. But, of course, that was ridiculous; they had been living in the same hotel for the last month and a half. But still, Tegan felt relieved. She grabbed her phone from where it was charging in the living room and sent a quick text to Ted before returning to the guest room.


	23. Clouded

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sara struggles with being back in Montreal

Tegan was fast asleep on her back and Sara cuddled up to her, resting her head on Tegan's chest. She let her mind wander as she slowly traced circles around Tegan's bare stomach.

Sara hastily dialed the number into her phone.

"Hey Sara." The normally calming voice came through the phone.

"Fuck you Courtney!" She shouted at him, displacing her actual feelings.

"What's going on Sara?" He sounded concerned and a little shaky.

"My girlfriend accused me of cheating on her and it's your fault!" Tears were already staining her cheeks, but she needed to get her anger out. She didn't let him respond this time, "She came home from work yesterday and asked what I did all day. So I told her that I talked to a good friend for over an hour, and she got really aggressive. And when I said your name was Courtney she assumed I was talking to a girl. She stormed out and threatened to leave me forever."

"Sara," He was calm and steady again, "Do you want me to explain it to her? It should be a fairly easy fix."

Sara was silent for several seconds, "I don't know if I actually want that."

"I understand," He kept his voice level, "What is the actual problem then, Sara?"

"She doesn't trust me," She cried as silently as possible, "I don't get it. I've never done anything that should make her think I would cheat. I've loved her faithfully for the entire relationship. I just don't understand."

She heard a sharp intake of breath, "I hate to say this Sara," He paused to keep composure, "A lot of times when people lash out with that kind of accusation it's because they're feeling guilty."

"So she's cheating on me?" Sara wasn't really surprised, "Is that what you're saying?"

"Not necessarily cheating, but she's probably guilty about something."

"So I should end it?"

"Well," He took a few seconds to think about his answer, "Only if she isn't helping. If she's helping you be happy, you shouldn't end it."

Sara sat in silence for almost a full minute, "I don't think her presence is helping much anymore."

"Then maybe you need to a change," She knew he was right, "I'm not sure Montreal is good for you anymore."

She hung up without answering. Maybe Courtney was right. Maybe she needed to get out of Montreal. She'd have time to think of it later, but right now she needed to get ready for Tegan Quin's concert.

Sara felt Tegan stirring in bed.

"Hi angel. How long was I asleep?" Tegan smiled sleepily at Sara.

"Not very long bella." Sara responded with a smile.

"Is Courtney home yet?"

"Yeah," Sara rested her head back on Tegan's chest, "I heard him come in a few minutes ago. I think he might have gone straight to bed."

"What time is it?" Tegan stretched her arms trying to shake off the sleepiness.

"It's almost eight-thirty." Sara said after glancing at the clock on the bedside table.

"Should we get up and do something then?"

Sara sat up, "Maybe we could eat something."

"Oh?" Tegan raised an eyebrow.

"Wow…" Sara chuckled, "I meant like dinner."

"Oh." Tegan mocked disappointment and pouted her lip.

"Maybe afterwards." Sara winked and got out of bed, putting on her boxers and an oversized shirt.

Tegan followed suit, walking from the guest room to the kitchen.

"What do you want to eat?" Sara asked while opening the fridge.

"Anything," Tegan smiled, "I'm too hungry to be picky."

"I can make us some sandwiches." Sara said after looking through the fridge.

"That sounds great."

Sara grabbed the jam out of the fridge and looked through the cupboards for peanut butter.

"What are the plans for tomorrow?" Tegan asked as Sara started to make the sandwiches.

"Um," Sara stopped spreading the jam for a second, "I figured we'd go visit Shaun while Courtney's working."

"Anybody else you want to see while we're here?" Tegan didn't know if Sara had any other friends in the area.

"No." Sara spoke harshly, "I don't even know why I wanted to come here. I hate this place."

"You came for Jessie." Tegan comforted her by rubbing her back, "And Courtney seams happy about you being here."

"But I'm not happy about it." Tegan could see the familiar sadness in Sara's eyes, "I'm afraid to go out to any of my old favorite places because I don't want to see anyone I know. I want to go back to Vancouver. I like the friends I have there."

"We'll be back in Vancouver before you know it." Tegan was breaking on the inside watching Sara try and fight the overwhelming feelings of sadness and pain.

"But we don't have a flight back for four more days," Sara shook her head, "That's too far away. What do I do if I see someone from my past?"

She turned to Tegan and there were tears in her eyes, "You smile and say hi, and then find a reason not to talk to them."

"It's not that easy," Sara shook her head again, "Most people don't even know where I've been. I didn't even tell them I was leaving. They won't let me just walk away."

"Then I'll tell them you don't want to talk about it." Tegan pulled her in for a hug, "I promise you'll make it four days."

The next day they decided to go shopping for a few snacks. They didn't want to eat all of Courtney's food. Sara separated from Tegan to go grab a few things at the grocery store.

"Sara?" She froze, the voice wasn't too familiar, but she still associated it with pain.

She turned around and saw a woman about her age smiling at her, "Hi." She couldn't place the face.

"You don't remember me, do you?" The woman asked, a small sad smile on her face.

"I'm sorry." Sara was, she was hurting from seeing this woman, but she didn't know who it was.

"Amanda." There was sadness in her voice when she spoke again, "I'm the girl who your friend asked out."

Now she remembered. The flashback came to her; the girl from their English class that Jess could never take her eyes off of, "How've you been?" Sara tried to smile and sound happy.

"I've been okay." Amanda looked almost as sad as Sara felt, "It's just…well," She was struggling for words, "I just really liked her. You know? I cried for weeks after the…well, yeah. I can't imagine what it was like for you."

"It's been hell." Sara stated bluntly, feeling oddly comforted knowing that other people cared about Jess, "Up until recently I was really depressed. But I met someone, and well, it's been rocky, but I'm getting better."

"Yeah?" Amanda seemed cheered up by the news, "I wish I could find someone. I haven't had any long term relationships. I had been crushing on Jessie since my first day at college. The day she told me she liked me was the best day of my life." The corners of her lips crawled up in a smile as she got lost in the memory for a second, "But then the next day I heard the news. And that was the worst day of my life."

Sara didn't know why, but she immediately set the items she had collected back on the shelf and pulled Amanda into a hug, "I'm so sorry."

Amanda spoke through silent sobs, "I just wish I could meet someone good, you know? Someone who can help me out."

"You will." Sara didn't know what else to say, "If you're ever in Vancouver let me know. Okay?"

"Yeah?" Amanda smiled, "How do I contact you?"

"Oh." Sara giggled, "I should probably give you my number or something."

"Really Sara?" She heard Tegan's playful voice from behind her, "We're away from each other for five minutes and you're handing out your number to strangers."

She turned to face Tegan, "Tegan this is Amanda." Tegan smiled and shook Amanda's hand, "We went to college together."

"It's nice to meet you." Tegan flashed her a brilliant smile.

"Likewise." Amanda tried her best to return the smile.

"We should get going to Shaun's."

"Okay," Sara responded before turning back to Amanda, "Feel free to call me if you need someone to talk to."

"Thanks." Amanda smiled a genuine smile.

They walked out of the aisle, "Who is she?"

"Just someone who really like Jess." Sara smiled back in the direction that Amanda was.

"Oh?" Tegan raised an eyebrow, "Did you guys used to be close?"

Sara shook her head in response, "I only talked to her a few times."

"Well I'm glad you got to see someone and it didn't upset you." Tegan smiled.

"Yeah," Sara returned the smile, "She needs as much help as I do. I didn't realize anyone else was as affected as I was."

"Maybe she should move to Vancouver and meet a hot musician." Tegan winked at her, "It worked for you."

"Someone's a little cocky." Sara laughed and felt happier than she had since first seeing Courtney again.

"You were moaning my name all day yesterday. Of course I'm cocky today." Tegan playfully spanked Sara.

"There are people around." Sara blushed and tried to hide her smile.

"I see that smile," Tegan grinned, "You loved it."

"That's beside the point." She stopped fighting against the smile.

"I think it is the point." Tegan winked and pinched her bum.

"Stop it Tegan." Sara playfully swatted her hand away, "Or people will get jealous."

Tegan raised an eyebrow, "Of who? Me or you?"

"Both." Sara laughed and led Tegan to the front of the store to pay for the few items they had.

As they walked out the door Sara spotted Amanda just outside, "Hi again."

"Hi." Amanda smiled at them.

"Text me your number," Tegan mocked a jealous look and Sara rolled her eyes, "I'd love to talk again."

"Okay." Sara was glad that there was a good reason to be in Montreal. She hadn't realized that anyone from her past could be a comfort to her.

They got in Courtney's car. He had taken the bus to the hospital telling them that they would need his car to get around. Sara turned the key and took off toward Shaun's house.


	24. Issues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tegan and Sara hang out with Shaun. Sara has flashbacks

They drove the short way to Shaun's house in only a few minutes. She stepped out of the car and looked up at the door and was immediately hit by a wave of Déjà vu.

"Sara?" Shaun looked surprised to see her, "What are you doing here?"

She didn't answer; she just pushed her way inside.

"We haven't spoken in weeks." Shaun tried to grab her arm so she would face him but she shrugged off his feeble attempt, "Talk to me, please?"

"I need help Shaun." She spoke shakily, "I think I got a bad mix."

"Mix of what Sara?" He was immediately concerned, "Alcohol? Drugs?"

"I took a couple oxy and then had a few mixed drinks," She looked up at him but she couldn't focus, "I feel funny Shaun."

"I'm calling the hospital." He quickly grabbed his phone and dialed.

"Hello?" A woman's voice answered.

"I'd like to speak to Courtney." He knew Courtney would help and wouldn't get Sara in trouble.

"Hold for a moment, dear." He heard the lady set down the phone and call for Courtney, who was apparently nearby.

"Hi Shaun." Courtney greeted obvious concern in his voice.

"Can you come over and help Sara?" Shaun's voice was anxious and scared.

"I'm on my way."

It didn't take long for Courtney to get there.

"What's wrong with her?" He asked immediately after walking through the door.

"Oxycontin and alcohol." Shaun answered, nervous and afraid.

"Right…" Courtney looked at Sara who was all but passed out on the couch, "Do you know how much oxycontin she took?"

"She said a couple."

"Well," Courtney looked relieved, "She'll be fine. She's just reacting to the pills. Dizziness, fatigue, and anxiety can occur from it. So I don't think she's really in a dangerous situation. But she really needs to stop doing this, or she'll end up dead, or at least damaged mentally."

"Thank God she'll be alright." Relief washed over Shaun as he looked over at his sister's closest friend. He knew Jessie would be devastated to see her like this. It pained him to see how much her death had affected Sara.

After hearing that she was going to be alright a wave of fatigue hit Sara and she fell asleep.

"Are you okay Sara?" She nodded her response, "Because you looked kind of…scared."

"It's just," Sara tried to steady her breathing and regain her composure, "I just remembered something that happened a few years ago. I had blocked it out from my memory, but it just sort of hit me."

Tegan walked up to her and hugged her, "Whatever it was," She rubbed Sara's back lightly, "It's in the past."

Sara nodded as Tegan disconnected from the hug. She smiled to show that she was fine. Tegan walked in front of her and knocked on Shaun's door. Sara lagged behind, dragging her feat, fighting off other memories of terrible drunken and high nights. They all ended with her feeling miserable. But now that one memory had entered the forefront of her mind the others piggybacked on it and forced their way through.

\--Sara walked alone down the street late at night. Everything in front of her was hazy. She didn't know what all she had taken, she just knew that it wasn't helping like she had expected. It had actually heightened the memory, adding more fear to the moment of the phone call. She let out a pained scream and noticed a man sitting at a bus stop.

"Ma'am?" The man asked as she got a little closer to him, "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." She stated aggressively.

"Are you sure?" He seemed a little concerned, but Sara was sure that it was more concern for how she would act more than if she'd be fine.

"I'm sure." She was annoyed at him. Why would a stranger talk to her? Why would he be concerned at all? She didn't matter to him. She didn't matter to anyone anymore. Her parents hated her, her best friend died, and every time she saw Shaun she wanted to run off and cry somewhere. The only person in the world who cared how she was was Courtney. And even he couldn't really care that much. She was snapped out of her thoughts when the man spoke again.

"You look cold," She hadn't even noticed until he said it, "I have an extra hoodie in my backpack."

"Thanks." Sara smiled at him, "But I'm fine."

"Okay." The man set his back pack down, "Have a good evening then."

"Thanks." Sara waved and walked away. Only a couple minutes later she slipped on the sidewalk and bumped her head.

When she awoke next she was freezing. She didn't think it had been long, but she was lying on the sidewalk. She looked up at the dark blue sky, watched the few stars that were already out, and slowly got herself up to a sitting position. She groaned and rubbed at her neck. It was getting colder out, or at least that's what she thought, so she got back up and tried to continue her walk home. Exhaustion took over before long and she settled down for the night on a park bench.--

"Hey Sara," Shuan smiled as he opened the door, "Come on in."

She smiled feebly back at him before dragging her feet across the threshold. She could tell that Tegan and Shaun were talking, but she couldn't focus on anything they said. The new memories that were coming back to her were keeping her occupied. It brought a different kind of pain, one that she wasn't familiar with. A pain she had blocked out. But now she could remember multiple times waking up in places without an explanation of how she got there. And of parties where she took any and every drug she could get her hands on.

"Isn't that right Sara?" Tegan smiled at her, trying to entice her into joining the conversation.

"What?" Sara blinked repeatedly, pulling herself out of her hazy state of mind.

"I was just telling Shaun about how much of a natural you were during recording." Tegan's warm, comforting smile eased the tension that Sara had been feeling just moments earlier.

"Yeah," Sara half smiled, "But you were so much better. You understood the musical jargon a lot better than I did. It was like a foreign language." She laughed at her own comment, bringing warmth to her heart.

"Well," Tegan smiled and blushed slightly, "That's just because I've been playing guitar nonstop since high school."

"I can't wait to hear the album." Shaun smiled at Sara.

"If you want we can set aside a copy for you." She returned the smile, "And Chris' company will send it out here."

"Really?"

"Sure." Sara shrugged, "He said we could give a few copies to friends."

Sara spent the rest of the conversation just listening to her oldest friend and her girlfriend talking. They were getting along better than Sara had expected. But that was mostly because she thought that no one from her past would like anyone from her present.

They spent a few hours at Shaun's. He showed Tegan some pictures from high schools and college. Pictures of the three of them hanging out and goofing off; just having fun. After saying goodbye to Shaun they got in the car.

"Can we stop and visit Jessie real quick." Sara spoke up after a couple of minutes of silence.

"Sure." Tegan nodded in understanding, and drove to the cemetery.

Sara got out of the car and walked up to her best friend's stone.

"Hi Jess." She smiled through the waves and layers of pain, "I'm sorry." She gulped for air. Pain and guilt started to attack her and she tried her hardest to push back, "I can't stay here any longer. It won't be long before I start to remember things from my darkest times." Tears stung her eyes and rolled down her cheeks, "I don't think I could survive that. So I'm saying goodbye. I'll try and visit you again sometime." She smiled, trying to re assure herself that she'd visit her friend again, "But for now," She looked up from and focused her gaze on the heavens, "I need to leave. I'll see you again someday." She blew a kiss into the sky and walked back to Tegan, who was waiting in the car. Tears still poured out, but Sara couldn't fight against that.

"Where to?" Tegan asked, not wanting to impede on Sara's private moment.

"Home." Sara answered after choking back her sobs.

"Courtney's?" Tegan reversed the car out of their parking spot.

Sara shook her head, "I want to leave Montreal."

"Right now?" Tegan was utterly confused. Sara had planned to stay for a week.

"Let's get our stuff and say goodbye to Courtney." Sara answered, not giving any room for a second opinion.

"If that's what you want." Tegan's answer was exactly what she needed. Tegan knew the pain that this must have been causing, and she couldn't force Sara to face it.

"It is."

They drove back to Courtney's in silence, and packed their suitcases. They didn't speak; they just packed up and loaded it into a cab they had called for. They told the driver to take them to the hospital.

They told the driver to wait for them and walked inside.

"Sara?" Courtney hadn't expected her to visit him at work.

"We're leaving." She stated bluntly, "I can't deal with being back in Montreal."

There was a noticeable sadness in his eyes when he spoke again, "Understandable. I'm glad you visited. It was really good to see you again."

"It was good to see you too Courtney." He wrapped Sara into a big, comforting hug.

"It was nice meeting you Tegan." He smiled warmly at her.

"It was nice meeting you too." She smiled in return and Sara and her left the hospital.

They got to the airport and luckily found a flight with only an hour wait. Sara spent the whole flight curled up, escaping inside herself. She didn't want to think about her past anymore. She just wanted to be back in Vancouver.

Sara felt a light shaking on her shoulder and she opened her eyes.

"They're starting the landing process." Tegan spoke softly to her, rubbing her arm as she did.

"Okay." Sara mumbled a response and sat up straight.

She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and looked around. It wasn't very dark out, and that was a small comfort. She felt the plane descending and she could see the city in the distance.

"You should call Ted as soon as we land." Sara mumbled out, still in a hazy state of consciousness.

"Shit!" Tegan's eyes widened in panic, "I didn't tell him we were coming home."

"What?" Sara's eyes bulged, "We don't have a ride?"

"We can just get a cab." Tegan assured her as she gently rubbed Sara's bicep.

Sara let out a sigh of relief; getting stranded at the airport was not something she wanted.

They had a smooth landing and were able to get off the plane quickly. Tegan called a cab and they sat on the curb in wait.

"I'm sorry that Montreal didn't go well." Tegan spoke up after several minutes of silence.

"It's okay," Sara smiled sadly, "I wasn't as ready as I thought."

Sara rested her head on Tegan's shoulder as they waited.

"You should call that Amanda girl," Tegan broke the silence again, "Tell her to come hang out here. It would be good for her."

Sara mumbled in agreement. A taxi pulled up a couple minutes later and they loaded their suitcases in the back and Tegan gave the man Sara's address. Sara fell asleep in the back of the cab and Tegan woke her up as they pulled up to her apartment building.

"We're home." Tegan smiled at her and she couldn't help but smile back. She liked that Tegan called it home. Even if she just meant that they were in Vancouver, Sara interpreted it as her apartment. It was their home.

"Yeah." She looked at the familiar building, "I really missed it."

"I can't wait till we get our first big cut from record sales." Tegan smiled dreamily, "We could afford a nice apartment."

"We?" Sara teased.

"We've been living together for over a month now." Tegan pointed out, "I just sort of figured we'd get a place together when we got some money."

"Of course." Sara laughed, "I would just appreciate being asked next time." She winked at Tegan and opened the door to her building.

"Next time I'll remember that." Tegan smiled and followed her inside.

They got in the elevator and rode it to the third floor. Sara led the way to her apartment and unlocked it, holding the door open for Tegan.

"Such a gentleman." Tegan playfully popped Sara's collar up as she walked past.

"Only for the pretty ones."

Tegan smiled and set her suitcase next to the bed, "I'm so tired." She yawned and stretched.

"Let's get some sleep then." Sara stifled her own yawn, "And let's go see Emy and Lindsey tomorrow."

"Sounds good."

They got ready for bed and then cuddled under the sheets. Just sleeping in her own bed helped to take away the haziness from Sara's brain; the clouds parted and her dreams were again filled with her and Tegan.


	25. Dearest Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tegan and Sara spend much needed time with their friends

Sara woke up the next morning and was immediately filled with relief when she realized she was actually back at her own home in her own bed. It had been far too long. The small comfort it brought her was still nothing compared to the comfort she got from Tegan; but every little bit helped. She yawned and stretched out as she sat up in bed. There was a mess of sheets where Tegan had slept all night, but the right side of the bed was empty. Sara started to panic from the separation when she heard a faint singing coming from the main room. She smiled to herself and let the familiar song calm her. After sitting and listening for a few minutes more she got out of bed and walked to the main room.

"Good morning bella." She smiled sweetly as Tegan stopped singing.

"Hi angel." Tegan smiled back and resumed her singing, "Hey little girl is your daddy home/Did he go and leave you all alone."

"What time is it?" Sara rubbed the sleep out of her eyes, not bothering to check the clock on the wall behind her.

"It's almost ten." Tegan answered before handing Sara a plate with eggs and bacon on it, "I woke up early to get some food. The fridge was empty."

"Thanks." Sara smiled shyly and pulled herself up on the counter to eat her breakfast.

Tegan joined her immediately and they ate in silence, leaning on one another, both happier than they could describe. As much as they had loved recording, they were glad to be home.

Their thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. Sara got off of the counter and walked to the door, pausing to look through the peephole before smiling and opening the door.

"Hey Ted." She had no clue how he knew they were here, but she was glad to see him. He had become a comfort to her. Spending over a month in a studio with someone led to one of two things; either you loathe them at the end of it or you love them more than anything. And she definitely loved Ted more than she had when she was just his bartender.

"Welcome home Sara." He smiled and pulled her into a huge hug, lifting her off the ground and spinning her once, "Tegan texted me this morning and I couldn't help but come over and see you guys."

"I'm glad you're here." She smiled back at him, "It's been so long." She joked.

"Hey Ted." Tegan walked up to the doorway.

"Hey Tegan." He gave her the same treatment her gave Sara.

"Come on in." Sara stepped out of his way, unblocking the door area, "Make yourself at home."

"I hope I didn't interrupt anything." He spoke the last word as he raised his eyebrows meaningfully.

"Just having some bacon and eggs." Tegan rolled her eyes at him.

"I'm sorry Montreal didn't go well." He gave Sara a sympathetic smile.

"It's okay." She smiled weakly, "I really needed to come back to Vancouver anyway, I missed home."

"And home missed you." She gave him a puzzled look, thinking that he was just being strange. He realized what he said and clarified, "I mean," He chuckled, "Emy and Lindsey were at the bar last night and they were asking where you guys were."

"Really?" Sara's eyes lit up, "We should go see them later today Tee."

"Sure!" Tegan smiled at the idea, she hadn't realized how much she missed her friends until Ted mentioned them.

They spent a few minutes just talking, reminiscing a few good moments from their time in Seattle. That's when Ted said something that reminded Tegan of a question she had for him.

"Yeah," Ted said after laughing at something Sara recounted, "That sounds like some people I've worked with."

"That reminds me Ted," Tegan turned all her attention to him, "What exactly do you do at you business."

Ted was taken aback. He stuttered his way through, "W-well, um…" He seemed a bit uncomfortable talking about his business, "We uh, do insurance."

That was definitely the last thing Tegan expected his secret to be, "What kind of insurance?"

"Pretty much anything," He stated, regaining his composure, "We deal exclusively with the rich and famous."

"Oh?" Tegan fought back a laugh, "You're a snob, eh?"

Ted let out a chuckle, "Kind of, yeah." He smiled and got into detail, "Our big money comes from musicians. Those guys will insure anything and everything. We actually have insured drumsticks."

"Who would ensure that?" Sara laughed as she asked her question.

"People are ridiculous when it comes to their belongings." He laughed along with her, "It's mostly guitars though. You wouldn't believe the kind of money people spend to keep their guitars insured. Basically," Ted started to open up a bit more about what he did for a living, "We fix anything that gets broken, so guitars are a big deal, and we replace them if they get lost or stolen. Plus, we help try and track down lost or stolen items. So, people throw money at us."

"That's pretty cool." Tegan stated coolly, but on the inside she was giddy, "Maybe someday we'll pay you to insure our guitars."

"Maybe." He smiled warmly, "You could even get some sort of friend and family discount."

They sat for a while, listening to Ted explain some of the details of what he does, and telling them about some of the weirder things that were insured. He didn't stay long due to a work related time crunch.

"I'll see you guys at The Hap soon." He smiled as he walked out the door.

"See you later Ted." Tegan smiled and shut the door after he left, "I'm gonna call Lindsey and see if we can come over and hang out."

"Okay." Sara smiled and turned toward her room, "I'm taking a shower and putting on clean clothes."

She walked back to her room and grabbed a black v neck and skinny jeans and set them aside on her bed before walking into the small bathroom. She stayed in the shower longer than necessary letting the warm water wash away her wariness from the plane flight. She exited the shower and looked at herself in the mirror. If she didn't know better, she would never guess that her life had ever been bad. She didn't even recognize herself. Just yesterday she was a mess. But now she could see joy in her eyes. She smiled at her own reflection.

She took her time picking out her underwear. She decided and a pair of dark boy shorts and a plain black bra. She took a look at herself in the body mirror hanging on the wall next to her bed and smiled. Pleased with how she looked she put on her clothes and walked back to the main room.

"You look good." Tegan smirked and eyed her from head to toe.

"Thanks." Sara smiled and took her time studying Tegan. She was wearing a dark button up with her black tie and dark slim fitting jeans, "You look better though."

Tegan grinned and blushed, "Agree to disagree."

Sara grabbed her leather jacket from the couch, "Are we going to Emy and Lindsey's?"

"Yeah," Tegan eyed her as she pulled the jacket on, "They said to come over any time."

"Let's go then." Sara impatiently opened the door and tapped her foot; beckoning Tegan to walk out passed her. As Tegan walked past Sara took the time to check out her backside. Tegan noticed and added a bit extra to her step.

"Like it?" She turned her head grinning.

"God yes." Sara practically drooled as she walked into the elevator.

They walked from the elevator to Sara's car and got in. Sara turned the key and the engine came to life, the radio following shortly.

"Hey little girl is your daddy home."

"Hey!" Tegan smiled widely, "I was singing this this morning."

They sung along with Bruce Springsteen as they made their way through Vancouver to Emy and Lindsey's apartment. Sara parked the car and quickly went over to Tegan's door, opening it and letting Tegan out.

"Wow," Tegan grinned at her, "I ended up with the perfect gentleman."

Sara said nothing, but she held out her hand and helped Tegan stand up. They walked up to the door of the apartment building holding hands.

Sara pressed the button for the apartment they were visiting.

"Hello?" Lindsey's always cheery voice came through the speaker.

"Hey Lindsey," Sara smiled with the excitement of getting to see her friends, "It's Tegan and Sara."

"Oh my god!" Lindsey let out a slight squeal, "Come on up!"

She buzzed them in and they too the elevator to the fourth floor.

Tegan took charge by knocking on the door to the apartment.

"It's open." They heard Lindsey call from inside.

They walked in, still holding hands, past the kitchen, and they were greeted enthusiastically from the living room.

"Come on over here!" Lindsey had the biggest smile on her face.

They both smiled in back and walked over to the couch.

"Where's Emy?" Tegan asked after exchanging hugs and hellos.

"She just finished a shower," Lindsey looked over at the bedroom door, "She should be out here in a few seconds."

As if on cue, the door opened and Emy stepped out, "I was wondering what all the noise was."

"Emy!" Tegan and Sara spoke in unison.

"Hey guys." Emy grinned widely, "I'm so glad you're back. We've missed seeing you perform at The Hap."

"Hopefully next time you see us perform it will be at someplace bigger than a bar." Tegan smiled, clearly excited at the prospect of playing at an actual venue.

"Yeah?" Emy hugged her, "I'd love that." After hugging Tegan she turned and hugged Sara.

"Oh!" Tegan exclaimed, "Did you have a chance to think up any ideas for artwork?"

"Artwork?" Lindsey spoke up, "What artwork?"

"Surprise." Emy grinned childishly, "Tegan and Sara asked me to do artwork for their album."

"What?" Lindsey didn't know whether to be happy or mad, "Why didn't you tell me?"

Tegan jumped in, "Well," Lindsey turned her attention toward her, "We actually want you to help out too."

"With what?" Lindsey raised an eyebrow, showing her interest, despite not knowing what was being offered.

"Photography," Tegan stated bluntly, "Every band needs a photographer."

"Yes." Lindsey's face lit up, "I'd love to be your photographer!"

"Awesome!" Sara beamed, pleased that they had that much less to worry about.

"I have some ideas." Emy gave her response to Tegan's earlier question, "I can show you a few pictures and sketches."

"I'd love to see them." Tegan smiled and Emy motioned for her to follow her to her room.

"Sorry it's such a mess." The apology wasn't necessary, it wasn't any messier than Tegan's own apartment, "I have it all saved on my laptop." She grabbed for the computer that was sitting on the bed.

She showed Tegan several different pictures and ideas. After ten minutes of looking through and debating, Tegan felt confident in her decision.

"Definitely the book one." Tegan gave her opinion, "Let's go show Sara. Hopefully she agrees."

They walked back out to the living room where Lindsey was laughing over something Sara had just said.

"Did he really say that?" She asked while laughing.

"Yeah!" Sara grinned and let out a chuckle, "The studio brought out a different side of Ted."

Tegan butted into the conversation, "Hey Sara," She smiled at the look on Sara's face when she had heard Tegan's voice, "I'd like your opinion on something. I've narrowed it down to a few different designs."

Sara got up from the couch and Emy showed her a few of her ideas.

"The dirt one with the book." Sara made her decision almost immediately.

"I was hoping you'd pick that." Tegan let out a sigh of relief, "I guess that's settled. You should send it me so I can forward it to Chris."

"Okay." Emy was clearly excited about them actually liking her artwork.

They spent most of the day hanging out at Emy and Lindsey's. Both of them had a lot of questions about the studio. And Tegan and Sara tried to answer all of them. Sara was able to almost forget about the pain that was brought back by Montreal. Her life had improved greatly since she moved. And for that she was grateful; especially for her friends in Vancouver. They didn't need to know about her past. They just accepted her as she was. And Tegan, oh Tegan. Tegan made her forget everything. She was her comfort zone. Her calm in the storm. She was brought out of all her thoughts when Tegan mentioned that it was probably time to go home and get some sleep. She smiled and nodded her agreement and then said goodbye to Emy and Lindsey.


	26. A Night At The Hap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tegan and Sara spend their first night back at their favorite hangout

Tegan woke up in the late evening and positioned herself on one elbow so she could look at her angel. She let her eyes wander, taking in every inch of Sara's face, neck, and what she could see of her collarbones. Tegan stayed in a stunned, thought filled silence as she wondered how she ever got someone as perfect as Sara. There was no way she deserved her. Sara was strong. She had faced terrible things.

'No worse than my past.' Tegan thought to herself as a reminder of how fucked up her childhood and teenage years really were, 'Your dad hated you and beat your mother Tegan.'

She fought back the tears and went back to studying her perfect girlfriend. The way she softly exhaled and every once in a while moved her head as if she were fighting to control the dream she was having. Tegan ventured her free hand forward and pushed back Sara's bangs. She then took note of how Sara noticeably calmed down and she saw a brief smile form on her lips. She hated to wake her, but she had planned on going to The Hap to see their friends again.

'Your mother left you Tegan.' A voice in her head haunted her with those words, 'If you're not careful she will too.' She shook her head, 'No.'

She couldn't keep her tears in this time.

'You're pathetic.' She sobbed as the strange voice in her head continued, 'Nobody's ever loved you enough to stay before.' She choked on her sob and began to hyperventilate.

Sara stirred in her sleep and Tegan covered her mouth, trying to quiet herself down. It was too late, Sara had woken up.

"Good morning bella." Sara smiled sweetly in her sleepy state.

"Hi angel." Tegan choked out through her tears and the new pain.

"What's wrong?" Sara was awake immediately; caressing Tegan's jaw and rubbing her back with her other hand, pulling her close against her chest.

"It's just," Tegan fought against the new wave of sobs and tears, "I don't deserve you. And you're gonna leave me. I know it." Tegan felt pain everywhere. It was in her chest and her head. It was in going all the way from her heart to her feet; making her ache all over.

"I'll never leave Tegan." Sara spoke sternly, "You know that. You need to get rid of whatever it is that's telling you otherwise, because it's wrong. I'm here to stay. Forever." She emphasized the last word, putting as much love in it as she could.

"Really?" Tegan's heart jumped slightly, "Are you sure?" She needed to hear it, she needed a promise to seal it.

"I'm sure." Sara spoke her reassurance.

"Promise?" It was the only word that Tegan could voice.

"I promise bella." Sara tilted Tegan's head up with her hand and planted a soft kiss on her lips, reminding Tegan that she had no reason to leave.

"Thank you." Tegan sobbed out after pulling away from Sara's lips.

"Let's get a shower then go visit Ted." Sara grinned as she slipped out of bed and walked away with a little extra something in her hips.

Tegan sat and watched her walk away, studying the way her hips swiveled, mesmerized by the way her bum bounced with every step. Sara turned around at the door and beckoned with her index finger.

"Are you gonna come with?" She smiled seductively and licked her lips.

Tegan nodded and got out of bed in a hurry. Sara held out her hand and Tegan took hold of it, letting Sara lead her to the bathroom. She walked slightly behind Sara and continued to study her lower half.

"God your ass is sexy." She moaned as Sara pulled her into the bathroom.

"Yeah?" Sara smirked, "You wanna help me out of these boxers?"

Tegan nodded and got down on her knees, grabbing Sara's boxers and slowly pulling them down, planting a kiss on each thigh as she did so.

"I can't be the only one pantsless." Sara stood with her hands on her hips in a domineering way.

Tegan hastily did away with her own boyshorts.

"So sexy." Sara grinned, "Can I have a look at your perfect abs?"

Tegan nodded shyly. She slowly pulled her wife beater up, painfully slow in Sara's mind. She inched it up as slowly as possible, revealing the smallest amount of skin as she could until it hit the line of her bra. She then pulled it the rest of the way at a quicker pace.

Sara moaned at the sight of Tegan's toned body. She mimicked Tegan's actions as she removed her own shirt, eliciting a gasp from Tegan as she pulled it off to reveal her bare breasts. Tegan made quick work of her bra and pulled Sara in for a kiss.

"Now let's get cleaned up." Sara smirked after pulling away from the kiss before Tegan was ready to stop.

"You tease." Tegan moaned, inches away from Sara's lips.

"Is it really teasing when I'll let you do more than that to me in the shower?" Sara grinned as Tegan let out a low lust filled moan.

"Just get in so we can start." Tegan got her stride back, feeling confident and cocky as ever, "I'll make you feel good."

They both got in the shower quickly and Sara turned the knob, allowing the hot water to pour free. As soon as the water started Sara felt herself get pulled around so she was facing Tegan, and then, not too roughly, she was pushed up against the wall. Tegan held her firm and kissed her with all the passion she could muster. She took her time, allowing her tongue to roam in Sara's mouth; rolling it over Sara's tongue, caressing her teeth, going back over the tongue. After letting Tegan do what she wanted Sara engaged her in a tongue battle. Well, it was more of a dance, an intense dance. Their tongues dance the tango and salsa at once, causing both to burn with a deep passion.

Tegan pulled away from the heated kiss, taking Sara's bottom lip between her teeth and tugging lightly. Sara moaned and gasped at the sensation. Tegan smirk as she began to let her hands travel over Sara's body. Feeling the smooth abs, cupping the perfect breasts, playing circles on her ribs and stomach, and then making their way behind her to hold on to Sara's bum. Sara's mouth hung open as a low moan made its way over her tongue and teeth, hitting Tegan's ears in the perfect way to drive her wild. Tegan then started kissing her way around. Starting at the jaw, kissing and licking ending with a gently nip on Sara's chin. The neck was next, and it got plenty of attention. The kisses and licks were now sharing company with soft nibbles and little suckles. Sara moaned in pleasure at the added sensations. Tegan smiled as she went still further, stopping to place kisses on her collarbone, before making her way down to the perfect breasts. She took the right one in her mouth, sucking softly and nibbling slightly as she played with the other one with her index and middle finger. After several seconds she switched treatments, making sure they got equal time.

She pulled away to smile up at Sara, who whined at pushed down gently on Tegan's head. Tegan grinned in the cockiest way she could muster before slowly planting kisses between Sara's breasts. She kissed her way down to her abs. She gave a small lick to Sara's belly button and trailed her tongue down from there, stopping just above her slit. She used her right hand to slowly massage Sara's right breast, and she used the fingers of her left hand to rub along Sara's wet slit. Sara gasped and moaned at the contact, breathing out Tegan's name followed by a few profanities. Tegan just flashed her a smirk before getting back to the subject at hand.

Sara felt Tegan's tongue slide up and down her slit. She tried to steady her breathing as she grabbed Tegan's hair and, not so gently, pushed her farther, begging for more. Tegan got the hint and inserted her tongue. Sara felt the licks, thrusts, and the sucking and it made her moan with pleasure. She tried to find something to grip, but the shampoo holder was on the other wall. She held onto the shower head with her left hand and placed her right hand back on Tegan's head.

Tegan looked up at Sara as she continued with her 'work'. The look on Sara's face made her thrust harder. Something about the way Sara's jaw hung open as her eyes fluttered closed made Tegan want to try harder to get her to come.

"Te-gan." Sara gasped out, "Fu-fuck me harder."

Tegan obliged immediately, adding a finger. She pushed in with her finger and started sucking on Sara's button. She watched Sara's eyes roll back, fluttering closed, as she added a second finger.

It didn't take much longer, "Oh god! Oh fuck!" Sara half screamed.

It only encouraged Tegan to pump harder.

"I'm coming!" She let out a cry of pleasure, "Tegan!" She screamed in ecstasy.

Tegan lapped up the juices that poured out. She got all that she could before slowly pulling out.

"Now let's get clean." She smiled at Sara as she stood up.

They cleaned up as quickly as possible. Well, as quickly as you can while ogling each other and playfully fooling around some more. After they got out of the shower they went back to the bedroom to get ready for a night out.

"Wear a button up and that sexy tie." Sara practically ordered as she watched Tegan search for clothes.

"They're your clothes." Tegan huffed as she looked through them, "Find something you want me to wear. I honestly can't find anything. It's too organized."

"Wow," Sara chuckled, "Too organized?"

"Hey," Tegan smiled at her, "You've seen my place. It's organized chaos. It's how I like it."

"Here," Sara handed her a dark gray button up, "The sleeves roll up and button. This and some black skinny jeans will look so hot every girl there won't be able to stop staring."

"Whatever." Tegan blushed as she put the clothes on.

"I was so right." Sara bit her lip as Tegan stood in front of her.

Sara pulled on a pair of dark washed skinny jeans and a dark t shirt. She then grabbed her leather jacket and put it on.

"Can you wear these?" Tegan asked, somewhat timidly, as she held out Sara's high heels.

"Of course." Sara smirked. She was getting flashbacks to their first date.

"You look perfect, my angel." Tegan smiled at her, absolute joy in her eyes. The internal battle from earlier completely forgotten.

"Thanks," Sara blushed and looked at her girlfriend, "But you look hot."

It was Tegan's turn to blush; her attempt to play it cool and be confident was wiped away by Sara's comment.

"Let's go." Sara smiled and led Tegan out of the apartment.

She turned on the car and the radio followed. Tegan concentrated on the familiar guitar riff.

"Babe," She wasn't able to place it, "What song is this?"

"I think its Seven Nation Army." Sara said after listening for a second longer.

Her thought was confirmed when Jack White's voice came through the speakers.

"I'm so glad you listen to this station," Tegan beamed as she bobbed her head to the music, "It plays some of the best music."

Sara nodded in agreement as she turned out of the small parking lot.

It didn't take long for them to get to the bar. They walked inside hand in hand and were greeted by an enthusiastic voice over the sound system.

"Ladies and gentleman," Ted's voice rumbled over the speakers, "Our very own celebrities, recently returned from recording their first album," He paused to allow for a wave of cheers and whistles, "its Tegan and Sara!" He sounded giddy as he spoke. Almost as if he were more excited to introduce them as celebrities than he was to be in a band with them.

Sara blushed and buried her head into the crook of Tegan's neck. Tegan just smiled and held up her hand in appreciation. They slowly made their way to the bar, getting stopped along the way by people saying their congratulations. When they got to the bar they found a pair of empty seats next to Emy and Lindsey.

"We saved you guys a place!" Emy grinned widely. Tegan could tell she was already tipsy.

"Thanks." Tegan grinned and sat down next to her.

"We had so much fun after you left our apartment earlier." Emy smiled and winked at Tegan who let out a small laugh.

"God Emy," Lindsey blushed hard, "Stop telling Tegan about…things."

"Oh," Emy grinned mischievously, "That reminds me." Lindsey tried her best to stop Emy from continuing, to no avail, "She let me use a little friend of mine." She raised her eyebrows meaningfully and Tegan almost choked on air.

"God Em!" She laughed, "I really didn't need to know that."

"Well," Emy continued to smile, "Now you know, whether you needed to or not."

"Definitely didn't." Sara shook her head and waved to Ted, wanting to get a drink so she could get on Emy's level.

"Hey guys." Ted was beaming, "Whatever you want is on the house."

Tegan tried to protest.

"You let me record in a professional studio," He waved off her protests, "That was always my dream. This is the least I can do to repay you."

"Thanks." Tegan smiled. For the first time she could actually accept a free gift and feel like she deserved it, that she had actually earned it.

"What'll it be?"

"Whiskey and coke," Tegan smiled and added, "Make it a double. I can't be this sober while sitting with Emy." Emy just grinned at Ted and nodded her approval.

"And you?" Ted turned his attention to Sara.

"Just leave a bottle of whiskey and some shot glasses." Tegan raised an eyebrow; she had never seen Sara take shots, "What?" She asked, noticing Tegan's look.

"I just didn't think you were the type to take shots of anything."

"I usually drink beer," She smiled a bittersweet smile, "I used to drink whiskey all the time. It's taken a while for me to feel comfortable drinking it again. It's all thanks to you."

"Then let's drink up!" She grinned as Ted set down the bottle of Jack.

Sara grabbed the bottle and poured two shots, "Bottoms up!" She downed one as Tegan downed the other.

Several shots and two jack and cokes later, Tegan and Emy were in a very, well, adult conversation.

"I'm serious," Emy was speaking a little loudly, "You should totally get one."

"Yeah?" Tegan contemplated the idea, "What do you think Sasa?"

"Sasa?" Sara grinned at her, "I like it."

"What?" Tegan didn't remember saying her name wrong.

"Nothing."

"What do you think?" She didn't try saying her name again for fear of messing it up worse.

"Um…" Sara bit her lip, "It might be fun."

"It is." Emy smiled widely and nodded her head emphatically.

"Linds?" Sara leaned forward so she could talk across the two people in the way.

"It's good." Lindsey downed another shot of vodka, "And tonight Emy is letting me use it. So I'm sure that will be fun too."

Tegan laughed, "Oh?" She grinned over at Lindsey, "I thought you didn't like it when Emy shared your sex life."

"This is different," Lindsey glared back at Tegan, "I wasn't this drunk when I said that."

The four of them shared a laugh and all took another round of shots.

"You guys are really trying to finish this bottle aren't you?" Ted shook his head playfully from his side of the bar.

"It won't be hard." Sara smiled back at him, "There are three of us drinking it. Then there's that one over there with her vodka's and martinis."

"I just don't like bourbon." Lindsey shrugged as she took a sip of her half-finished martini.

"Just don't get too sick tonight." Ted shook his head again as he walked away to help another customer.

"Oh," Emy laughed as soon as he was out of earshot, "With what we have planned I'll definitely be sick tonight." She elbowed Lindsey who bit her lip and nodded in agreement.

"God you guys." Sara shook her head, "I'm gonna get sick thinking about that now. It's stuck, and it's a mental image I don't want."

Emy bit her lip playfully, "You know you love it."

"Right." Sara rolled her eyes and took another drink, "Almost as much as I love puking my guts out."

"I didn't know you liked that." Emy joked back at her, getting a glare and another eye roll.

"That's not what I meant." Sara shook her head, trying not to smile.

"We should do this more often." Lindsey spoke quietly compared to the volume the conversation was just at.

"Talk about sex?" Emy and Tegan asked in unison, causing them both to giggle like fifteen year olds.

"No!" Lindsey shook her head trying to keep her composure, "I mean just hang out. Talk, drink, and laugh together. It's fun."

"Yeah," Sara nodded in agreement, "That would be awesome."

"Cool." Tegan agreed as well.

"As long as the talking is about sex." Emy joked, drawing smiled and faint laughs from the three others sitting with her.

"Deal." Tegan held out her hand in mock agreement.

They stayed until the bottle was empty. Then they got up and dance, the four of them staying close, enjoying each other's' drunken company. After dancing for what felt like hours, Tegan and Sara said good bye to their three best friends. They hailed a cab and went back to Sara's apartment.

Both of them were too tired for any more fun. They stripped down to their underclothes and got in bed.

"Can you put this back on?" Sara asked as she held up the loose drawn tie.

"Anything for you, my angel." Tegan smiled as Sara slipped the tie over her head.

Sara immediately used the tie to pull Tegan into a sweet, albeit sloppy, drunken kiss.

"Goodnight angel."

"Goodnight bella."

And it was a good night. They both slept peacefully. The hangover would come later, but as they slept they only focused on each other. Tegan dreamed that Sara indeed and angel, and that she had come to earth to marry Tegan. And Sara dreamed that Tegan was some magical Italian princess who ran away with her and left her kingdom. They lay tangled together, both with soft smiles on their lips, both with the happiest thoughts in their heads.


	27. A Hangover And A Phonecall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sara answers a phone call that she never expected to get

Sara woke up late the next morning, the sun burning through the small window in her room causing her head to real from last night's whiskey. She groaned and turned over to see the empty side of the bed next to her. Panic didn't even have time to set in before she heard Tegan retching in the bathroom next door. She groaned as she sat up, taking her time as she got out of bed. She grabbed an old hoodie, pulling it over her head as she walked out of her bedroom and toward the kitchen.

A hand held to her head, she walked into the small kitchen and was met with full coffee filter and the water already in the machine. She then realized that Tegan had tried to make coffee and apparently was hit with a wave of nausea from last night's drinks. She let out a half smile as she placed the filter in the machine and hit the start button. Just the smell of the freshly brewing coffee relieved some of the pounding from her head. Almost perfectly in sync with the coffee maker, Tegan made her way out of the bathroom to arrive in the kitchen as the last drops landed in the carafe.

"Good morning bella." Sara greeted her in a much more subdued manner than normal, the headache keeping her speaking at barely above a whisper. She immediately grabbed her head as she turned a little too quickly to say her greeting.

"Hi angel." Tegan gave her half a smile, but her voice sounded broken and miserable; and her face looked ghostly.

"The coffee should remove any bad taste from your mouth." Sara offered as she poured two cups of the steaming black liquid magic. She wasted no time and began sipping immediately, not caring if she burnt her tongue.

Tegan smiled and followed suit, "It's pretty strong." She spoke after shuddering form the bitter taste. Even though the bitterness didn't sit well with her, Tegan took another sip, causing another shudder.

"You made it." Sara shrugged before taking another sip, sending a small half grin Tegan's way.

"I don't normally make coffee," Tegan blushed just barely, adding a faint colour to her otherwise pale face, "I just put in the grounds until it seemed like enough."

"It's good," Sara continued to sip slowly, "I like it strong."

They drank their coffee in silence. Sara refilling her cup for seconds as Tegan struggled to finish just one mug's worth. With every sip Tegan either shuddered or gagged slightly from the strong taste of the coffee.

Sara smiled to herself as she watched shudder from the bitterness after every few sips. She had started to drink her own coffee in bigger gulps, and it made her chuckle as she watched Tegan approach the black stuff like a teenager tasting their first hard liquor.

"Don't laugh at me." Tegan tried to hide her own smile in her mug.

"Sorry," Sara continued to chuckle, "You just look so timid drinking your coffee."

"It's way too strong," Tegan shook her head and set the cup down on the counter, "I'll just look up some other hangover remedy online."

"It won't taste better." Sara warned as Tegan walked back to their bedroom where she had stashed her laptop the day they got back from Montreal.

Sara got a rush of excitement when her thoughts referred to it as their bedroom. She knew what she wanted, and she hoped Tegan's lease was up soon.

Tegan walked back to the kitchen and Sara studied her as she made a vile looking concoction. Tegan drank whatever it was and immediately shook from, what Sara assumed was, the worst tasting drink that Tegan had ever had. Tegan looked like she was about to gag it back up, but after a few seconds she looked completely normal. She then smiled unconvincingly at Sara.

"You want one?" Tegan grinned as Sara shook her head slowly, still nursing a headache.

"I want to ask you something." Sara changed the subject after several seconds' silence.

"What is it?" Tegan smiled at her, apparently the concoction had worked. Sara could already see the color returning to Tegan's cheeks.

"I was just wondering," Sara all of sudden became nervous and looked down at her toes, taking notice of just how interesting her kitchen floor was; she stared at a small stain next to her foot for several seconds, "Um…"

"Yes?" Tegan tried to bend low enough to make eye contact, but failed because Sara closed her eyes before speaking.

"Doyouwanttomoveinwithme?" Sara rushed the question out with one exhale. Tegan hesitated before answering and Sara assumed the worst, "Never mind." She looked back at her coffee mug and hastily took a drink.

"Sara," Tegan continued trying for eye contact, "Sara look at me."

Sara slowly turned her head and looked at Tegan, fearing the stern look that she had expected. But Tegan just grinned widely and planted a soft kiss on Sara's forehead.

"I practically already have moved in with you," She chuckled slightly, "I have a week until my lease is up, so if you're okay with it, I'd like to start moving my stuff into you place."

Sara nodded her response, too bashful and happy to use her words. Her head was swimming. A mixture of hangover and giddy love made her headache strike again.

"Anything that will take up too much room, like my bed," Tegan had obviously already thought about this, "Will be at Ted's until we get a bigger place."

"Is Ted okay with that?" Sara questioned, knowing that Tegan never had time to ask him about it.

"We let him record with us," Tegan said, thinking about the way he had acted last night; how grateful he was to be in a recording studio, "I'm sure he'll be fine with it."

"Yeah?" Sara couldn't wait until Tegan had officially moved in with her. It would somehow bring more comfort to her just knowing that Tegan called her apartment home. She would always be able to come home to Tegan. No matter what.

"What are you so happy about?" Tegan's question brought Sara the awareness that she had a huge smile on her face.

"I'm just happy about you moving in is all." Sara grinned and pecked Tegan lightly on the lips.

"I already am moved in." Tegan rolled her eyes and laughed.

"It's not the same." Sara shook her head gingerly, the headache coming to prominence with every movement. She winced at the sharp pain of the hangover.

"You should go lie down on the couch." Tegan had turned her protective mode on, "I'll get you a washcloth and some advil. I hate seeing you in pain." Sara could see her physical pain mirrored in Tegan's eyes; except that Tegan's eyes screamed out with an emotional pain that only Sara understood. A second later it was gone, replaced solely by concern. Tegan fussed over Sara's headache as she got the pillows and blankets on the couch arranged for the "maximum amount of comfort" before heading to the kitchen to grab the advil and a glass of water.

"Tegan I'm a grown woman," Sara whined as she made herself comfortable on the couch, "I can take care of myself."

"But you don't have to take care of yourself," Tegan smiled warmly and handed her the water, "You never will as long as I'm here."

Sara smiled and took the two advil with a few sips of the water, "Thank you."

They spent the rest of the morning just sitting, curled up together watching TV. Sara wasn't paying much attention to whatever was on. She was fart to busy thinking about Tegan; about how she would soon be officially moved in. The comfort she felt from that put Sara on the verge of dozing off. But then her phone rang.

Tegan grabbed it and answered, "Hello?" She waited a few seconds before shrugging and handing the phone to Sara, "It's for you…some sort of relative I think."

Sara took the phone and tried working through her confusion, what relative would be calling her?

"Hello?" Sara answered the phone slowly.

"Hi," A sweet somewhat familiar voice poured out of the receiver, "Sara, it's your Aunt Sonia."

Confusion was evident on Sara's face, mixed with a small dose of fear, "I don't have an Aunt Sonia." She looked at Tegan for help. But that was futile; if she didn't know and Aunt Sonia, why would Tegan?


	28. A Relative Matter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sara talks to her Aunt for the first time

"Hi," A sweet, somewhat familiar voice poured out of the receiver, "Sara, it's your Aunt Sonia."

Confusion was evident on Sara's face, mixed with a small dose of fear, "I don't have an Aunt Sonia." She looked at Tegan for help. But that was futile; if she didn't know and Aunt Sonia, why would Tegan?

"Nora never told you about me?" Sara cringed as she heard her 'Aunt Sonia' say her mom's name.

"No." Sara spoke firmly, not wanting to show her confusion.

"I guess I'm not surprised," Sonia's light tone irritated Sara, "She always was a uptight little bitch."

Sara let out a soft chuckle at the description of her mom, "Well," She sighed out, "I guess that's all the conformation I need to know you at least knew her."

There was an awkward few seconds of silence before Sonia spoke again, "As soon as I heard that you had left Montreal I decided it was time I spoke to you."

"How'd you hear about that?" Sara was baffled. How had someone she had never met heard about her personal life?

"Your dad got in touch with me," Sonia paused, taking a breath before continuing, "Bruce was always nice to me, so he asked me to make sure you were alright."

"What?" Sara couldn't imagine either of her parents caring about her, "Why would he do that?"

"Well," Sonia took a long deliberate pause, "He was always pushed around by Nora. He isn't a bad guy at all. And he still loves you. He told me that on the phone a few months ago."

"That reminds me," Sara thought about what she would say, she didn't want to come across accusatory, "How did you find me?" No, too harsh, "Sorry, I just mean…"

Sonia cut her off, "No it's okay," Sara could hear the smile, "I understand. A friend of mine saw some sort of advertisement about you playing at a bar in Vancouver. She apparently got your number from a friend of yours."

Probably Lindsey, Sara thought before answering, "Oh…So, why did you want to talk to me?"

"I figured that since Nora kicked you out and disowned you that I didn't need to hide anymore."

Sara sat in silence, why would her Aunt have to hide?

Sonia waited for Sara to respond…but she didn't, "Nora always hated me, the younger sister who was a bit of a rebel. She didn't appreciate my lifestyle. It didn't fit with her neo-Christian view of life. So when I went to jail for going to a protest…she jumped in and took everything from me. And the judge bought every word she said."

"What do you mean by," Sara mulled over the words in her head, "she took everything? What could she have possibly taken from you?"

"Well," Sonia now sounded nervous, as if she were regretting calling Sara. There was a lot of pain behind her words when she spoke next, "She took you, Sara. She stole you from me."

Sara's phone thudded on the rug that covered her hard wood floor. Tegan immediately rushed from the kitchen.

"What's wrong Sara?" The concern in Tegan's voice was coming through in shaky, terrified waves.

"Not my Aunt." Sara mumbled out as she shook her head and eyed her phone.

Tegan immediately assumed the worst, "Do you have a stalker?"

Sara shook her head and pointed at the phone, "M-m-mom." She stuttered out, shakily as a few tears came down her cheeks.

"She's your mom?" Tegan was completely confused. Wasn't Sara's mom an evil witch of some kind? Why would she call as some bullshit aunt?

"Yes." Sara thought that Tegan had kept up with her.

"Do you want me to like," Tegan tried to think of what she could do, "Yell at her or some shit?"

Sara shook her head violently, "No. No. Sonia is apparently my real mom. Nora is my real Aunt." Tegan was just as confused as before.

"Who's Nora?" She had never heard that name.

"The woman who raised me," Sara explained as calmly as possible, "She apparently took me from her younger sister and then never told me she had any siblings."

"You should probably pick the phone back up." Tegan grabbed the phone and held it out for Sara to grab.

Sara heard her name come faintly through the phone and she reached out and grabbed it.

"Sorry about that," Sara apologized, keeping her eyes and Tegan, "It's just a bit of a shock."

Tegan stood next to her and rubbed her back to help soothe the shock out of her system.

"I know it's a shock," Sonia sounded like she was pleading, "But I'm desperate to meet you. I haven't seen you since you were just over a year old."

"Where do you live?" Sara questioned, hoping that it was somewhere nearby.

"Calgary."

"That's a good ways away," Sara was disappointed, she would love to meet her real mom.

"If I start driving soon I can get there by tonight."

Sara smiled, "I'd love that. Are you okay sleeping on a couch?"

"I'd sleep on the floor if it meant I could finally see you again." She could hear joy taking its place in Sonia's voice; replacing the pain from a few minutes before.

"You should leave soon," Sara smiled widely, "I can't wait to meet you in person." She proceeded to give Sonia her address.

"I'm on my way." Sonia sounded happy, and a little bit giddy, "I'll see you tonight."

"See you then." Sara hung up the phone and pulled Tegan in for a kiss.

"She's coming here?" Tegan asked; a small dose of excitement in her voice.

"Yeah," Sara bit her lip and nodded, "She's leaving Calgary as we speak. She should be here at like one a.m."

"We should grab some stuff from my apartment." Sara gave her a quizzical look, not understanding what that had to do with Sonia coming.

"Why?"

"I have an air mattress and I kind of need some clothes."

"Awesome." Sara smiled, "Air mattresses are better than sofas."

"Do you want to go now?" Tegan asked, grabbing her jacket before Sara could answer.

"Sure." She shrugged and grabbed her keys, "Let's go."

They made the drive to Tegan's apartment in only a few minutes.

"I haven't been here in forever." Tegan stated as she walked through the door to her small studio apartment.

"And this is one of the last times you will be here." Sara smiled, yet again, just thinking about her and Tegan living together.

Tegan walked over to her bed and pulled a bin out from under it, "This has all my extra bedding, including the mattress." She started to open it but closed it immediately, "I guess I'll just bring all of it. There's no harm in that."

Sara nodded and smiled, "What are you going to bring your clothes over in?"

Tegan's face fell, "Shit! I only have one suitcase and it's at your apartment."

"Do you have like plastic bags or a backpack?" Sara eyed the messy apartment, hoping to find something to bring the clothes in.

Tegan shook her head, "My backpack wouldn't hold enough."

Sara took one last look around before laughing and pointing behind Tegan, "How about the laundry basket?"

Tegan blushed, embarrassed for not remembering she had it, "I'll just dump the dirty clothes on my bed."

"Good plan." Sara chuckled and grabbed the basket, dumping it on Tegan's bed.

"I think that's it," Tegan looked around, "Now just to grab some clothes."

Tegan rifled through the drawers of her small dresser, casually throwing her clothes into the basket. After several minutes she was satisfied with the clothes she had collected and took one more look at the apartment. She sighed and turned toward the door, basket of clothes in hand.

"Alright, let's go home." Sara smiled and picked up the bin of bed sheets and the mattress.

Tegan smiled at the mention of home. She hadn't ever really considered her apartment home. But wherever Sara lived would always be home to her.

"Yeah," She smiled at Sara, "Let's go home."

They made their way to the elevator and down to the ground floor, walking together to the car, shoulders grazing each other ever so slightly. Sara smiled and popped the trunk, quickly shoving the bin as far back as she could. Tegan followed suit, pushing her laundry basket in next to the bin.

"Next stop, home." Sara said with a smile on her face.

"What are we waiting for?" Tegan flashed her a gummy smile, "Let's get home!"

They made the return trip and shaved several seconds off of their drive over.

After setting the air mattress up in the center of the living room they went back to lounging.

"Do you think she'll like me?" Sara spoke up after several minutes of cuddling on the couch.

"Of course she'll like you." Tegan kissed her temple gently, "She'd be crazy not to."

"You really think so?" Sara bit her lip.

"Yes angel." Tegan planted a kiss behind Sara's ear, earning a soft sigh from Sara.

"Thanks," Sara turned and smiled at her, "I've been nervous about it since the call."

"Don't be nervous," Tegan gently ran her fingers through Sara's hair, "She'll love you."

Sara sighed and slipped into a comfortable state of rest, somewhere between asleep and awake. She could feel Tegan rubbing circles on her bicep; the soothing motion pushing her closer to the edge of consciousness. Before she knew it she was waking up to a knocking on her door.

She looked around for Tegan, and spotted her walking out of the bathroom, hair wet from a shower, "What time is it?" She yawned sleepily.

"It's nine." Tegan smiled and walked up to Sara, planting a kiss on her forehead.

"Then who's at the door?" Sara motioned toward the door.

"It's probably Ted," Tegan shrugged and went to answer the door, "I wanted to hang out with him."

"Oh," Sara let out a stifled yawn, "That's nice." She laid her head back on the sofa pillow and yawned widely.

Tegan smiled at her before opening the door, "Come on in Ted," She stepped out of his way, allowing him to get inside, "Sara just woke up from a very long nap."

"Well then," Ted turned giving Sara a small smile and a wave, "Good morning Sara."

"Hey Ted." She gave him a small wave in response.

"Tegan said something about your mom coming to visit?" Ted new the story of how her mom…well her aunt, had treated her.

"Yeah," Sara grinned at him, "Apparently my mom isn't my real mom."

"I bet that's good news." Ted momentarily forgot that Sara had never told him about her past, "I mean, judging from your response." He blushed and looked awkwardly over at Tegan.

"Yeah." Sara continued to smile, not even realizing what he had said.

Sara sat on the couch and listened to the conversation, not particularly paying attention, but more using it as the background to her thoughts on when her mom would arrive, what she was like, what she'd think of her daughter. Before she knew it Ted was starting to yawn and sat down on the couch beside her.

"You excited for tonight?" He asked, smiling warmly at her.

"Mhm." She nodded and sent a small smile his way.

"Do you know anything about her?" Ted questioned in his own protective way.

"Not really," She smiled reassuringly, "But I'm okay with that. I don't want to judge her for her past. She'll be here for my present and hopefully my future. That's all I need to know."

"That's great." She could see the relief pass through him, "I'm going back home now. It's almost midnight and I'm exhausted."

He stood up from the couch and gave Sara a comforting pat on the shoulder.

"Goodnight Ted." Sara waved at him as he walked to the door.

"Yeah," Tegan pulled him in for a goodbye hug, "Goodnight."

"Have fun meeting your mom Sara." He called out as he closed the door.

Sara grinned at the thought. And she was now so close to meeting her.

"Let's watch TV or something to pass the time." Tegan suggested as she grabbed the remote.

Sara nodded and Tegan turned the TV on. Sara didn't pay attention to what they were watching; she just sat there letting her thoughts swim through her head. Most of them about what she wanted the first thing she said to her mom to be. But before she could decide there was a knock on her door.

"Answer it." Tegan smiled at her, wanting Sara to be the one who spoke to her first.

Sara smiled and walked up to the door, taking a deep breath before opening it. She was greeted by a woman a little taller than her with long brown hair streaked with blonde. She looked young, like she could have been in her early forties. They both stood silent for a minute, studying each other. Sara finally broke the comfortable silence.

"Hi mom." It might not have been as profound or 'cool' as Sara was hoping she would say, but it was the perfect thing to say.

"Hello Sara." Sonia smiled widely and held out her arms; Sara accepted them and they stood in the doorway hugging.

"Mom," Sara smiled as she said that simple word, "I'd like you to meet the most important person in my life." She motioned for Tegan to walk into view, "This is my girlfriend Tegan."

"It's wonderful to meet you Tegan," She smiled warmly, "So that's why Nora gave you the boot, eh?"

Sara chuckled, "Yes."

"God she's narrow minded." Sonia shook her head and walked inside.

"Its nice meeting you too Sonia." Tegan hugged her once she got inside.

"I don't want to disappoint you or anything," Sonia looked like she was afraid of offending Sara, "But I don't plan on staying up for too much longer."

"That's fine," Sara answered with the smile that was now plastered on her face, "You drove all day and you need your rest."

"So," Sonia sat down on the couch, "What do you want to know?"

"What do you do for a living?" Sara asked the first thing that came to mind.

"I'm a therapist at a high school."

"That's cool." Sara had only one other thing that she wanted to ask, "Are you married?"

"Not currently." Sonia smiled weakly.

"That's all I really need to know right now," Sara gave her a hug, "We can have lunch together tomorrow and I'll get to know you then."

"Okay," Sonia sent her a tired smile, "I'll see you tomorrow."

After saying their goodnights Tegan and Sara went back to their room to get as much sleep as they could. Unfortunately for Sara, having her mom sleeping in her living room kept her awake most of the night. But when she finally fell asleep, she did so with a smile on her face.


	29. Lunch And A To Go Box

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sara has lunch with Sonia and Tegan brings something home for Sara

Tegan woke up early the next morning. She smiled and thanked all the deities for the opportunity to watch her perfect girlfriend sleep. Sara's calm and steady breaths soothed Tegan, bringing peace to her as she thought about how lucky she was. She studied the way Sara's chest slowly raised and peacefully lowered with every breath. Tegan re adjusted the way she was laying which caused the sheets to fall slightly revealing Sara's chest; covered only by a thin undershirt. Tegan bit her lip as she watched Sara's chest with no shame whatsoever. She softly caressed Sara's jaw, causing her to sigh, and planted a sweet kiss on her forehead before getting out of bed as quietly as possible.

She slipped a hoodie over her wife beater and slipped on a pair of colorful socks and walked out of the room as quietly as possible. She was careful not to wake Sonia up as she made her way to the kitchen to start the coffee. Hopefully this time she wouldn't make it as strong. It was too hard for her to drink when it was that strong. She paused while she scooped the coffee when she heard movement in the living room. As quietly as she could, she turned her head to see if Sonia had woken up; she hadn't. Sonia had apparently just turned over in her sleep. Tegan let out a breath that she was barely aware of holding and then finished filling up the filter. After pouring in the water she hit the start button and walked back to the bedroom to get some clothes ready for after her shower.

She picked out a plaid button up and a pair of dark wash skinny jeans and laid them down on her side of the bed along with her boxers and a plain bra. She took off her wife beater and tossed it aside before walking across the hall to the bathroom.

She exited the shower after spending close to a half an hour under the warm spray and wrapped a towel around her just in case Sonia was awake. She slowly opened the door and could tell that the mattress was empty. Even though she was covered in a towel she moved as quickly as she could to get into the bedroom. Once inside, she took her time getting dressed, spending extra time making sure her shirt was straight. She didn't want Sonia to think she was a slob. Finally pleased with how she looked she walked to the kitchen.

"Good morning Tegan." Sonia smiled warmly from behind her steaming cup of fresh coffee.

"Good morning Sonia." Tegan smiled as sweetly as she could, "Sara's still asleep. So feel free to watch TV or something. After my coffee I have somewhere to go."

"Sounds good," Sonia took a sip of the black stuff, "Sara and I were going to have lunch today. You should join us if you aren't busy."

"Maybe," Tegan poured herself a cup, "I'll just have to make sure Sara is okay with me crashing her mommy daughter time."

Sonia chuckled, "Its strange being reunited with my daughter after all this time. I'm scared she won't like me."

"She likes me," Tegan smiled reassuringly, "And I can guarantee I'm more messed up than you are."

"I find that hard to believe," Sonia eyed Tegan quizzically, "You seem far too normal to be messed up."

"Thanks," Tegan smiled lightheartedly, "I've been hiding it my whole life. Only a few people know any of my problems. Sara is one of them," She smiled as she thought of her girlfriend sleeping peacefully as they spoke, "And she hasn't left me. I can guarantee she won't care how messed up you are."

"Really?" Sonia looked relieved, "I was so scared she would think badly of me for my past."

"She has already said that she doesn't care what happened in your past," Tegan smiled warmly at her, "The past is the past. She only cares about your present and future as relatives."

Sonia pulled her in for a hug, "Thank god. I was a mess when I had her. My life was terrible. It's such a relief to not be judged for it."

Tegan didn't say anything in response; she just squeezed Sonia into a warm and friendly hug. After releasing her from the hug she gave her a smile and sipped at her coffee.

After several minutes of comfortable silence Tegan set down her now empty coffee mug, "I'll see you later." She walked toward the front door and grabbed Sara's keys. Hopefully she'd be okay with Sonia driving them to lunch.

"Bye Tegan." Sonia waved and poured herself another cup of coffee. Tegan now knew where Sara got her love of drip coffee from.

"Save some of that for Sara." Tegan laughed as she walked out of the apartment.

She walked to Sara's car and turned the engine on. She smiled as she heard Billy Corgan's voice coming through the speakers. She couldn't help but sing along.

"Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage!" She belted out as loudly as possible as she pulled out of the small parking lot.

She drove to a somewhat shady looking street and walked up to a small shop, greeting the cashier happily. The girl behind the counter returned with an equally happy smile. Tegan hadn't been in here since she started her relationship with Sara…but the cashier definitely recognized her and made some small talk before Tegan started to look around.

Sara woke up at a little after ten o'clock. She stretched and looked around for signs of Tegan. There was a note on Tegan's pillow and she hastily grabbed it.

'Sara

I have some shopping to do. Your mom invited me to lunch with you guys, so if you want me to come, text me. Let me know when it's okay for me to crash your mommy daughter time.

Your Tegan.'

Sara smiled at the signoff. She sat up in bed and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes before getting up and grabbing one of Tegan's many hoodies.

She walked out to the kitchen and poured a cup of coffee.

"Good morning Sara." Sonia smiled at her from the couch.

"Good morning," Sara took a second to think of what to call her, "Mom."

Sonia could see Sara's train of thought as she spoke, "You can call me Sonia if you want."

"Good morning Sonia." It definitely was easier to say. Every time she said mom she pictured the woman who raised her; and that wasn't someone she wanted to think about.

"When did you want to get lunch?" Sonia questioned as she flipped through channels.

"Probably around eleven or eleven-thirty." Sara shrugged and sipped at her coffee. It wasn't as strong as yesterday, so Tegan couldn't have made it, "You didn't have to make coffee."

Sonia looked confused for a second before letting out a small laugh, "I didn't make it."

Now Sara was the one confused, "Weird," She looked down at the liquid in her mug, "Yesterday when Tegan made it, it was way stronger than this. She must have tried really hard to make it a little weaker."

"That was nice of her." Sonia smiled warmly. Sara loved her smile, it was so sweet. It was a gently, inviting, kind of smile.

"She's the best," Sara smiled right back at her, "But I'll talk more about why over lunch."

"Sounds good," Sonia patted the sofa next to her, "Do you want to watch cartoons?"

It was the fastest Sara had moved in years. Sonia just sat there with a stunned expression.

"What?" Sara asked as if running at top speed while miraculously not spilling your coffee was a perfectly normal reaction to cartoons.

"I just haven't seen anyone move that fast when I wasn't watching the Olympics." Sonia shook her head and smiled.

"I love cartoons." Sara shrugged, "What's on?"

"Tom and Jerry re-runs." Sonia brought up the guide as proof.

"I love Tom and Jerry," Sara smiled like she was five years old again, "This commercial better be over soon."

Sonia laughed, "And here I was afraid I had missed out on your childhood."

Sara just flashed her a toothy grin and went back to her coffee.

They sat together and watched cartoons for almost two hours. Sara loved it. She got to spend time with her mother and watch cartoons. She hadn't done that with Nora since she was eight.

"You ready to go get lunch?" Sara asked as she felt her own stomach start to growl from hunger.

"Sure," Sonia smiled, "Where did you have in mind?"

"A café called Mia's," Sara smiled as she went to get her keys, "Tegan took me there for one of our first dates."

"Sounds good," Sonia kept a smile on her face, "I love cafés."

"Great," Sara looked around frantically, "I can't find my keys."

"I think Tegan took them."

"Oh," Then it dawned of Sara, "Right, her car isn't here. She would have had to take mine or call a cab. So I guess you're driving."

"I'm okay with that," Sonia pulled her keys out of her purse as she walked toward the door, "Just so long as you know where we're going."

"I should probably ask Tegan for directions." She reached into her pocket and quickly pulled out her phone and called Tegan, "Hey bella, I don't know how to get to Mia's."

She was on the phone with Tegan for the entire car ride.

"Okay," Sara smiled as she saw the café come into view, "We found it. Thanks Tegan."

"No problem," Tegan smiled into the mouthpiece, "I'll see you in an hour or so. My angel."

Sara smiled like a love struck idiot, "Bye bella."

"What's made you so happy?" Sonia asked even though she knew it was something Tegan had said.

"Just something Tegan called me." Sara tried to stop smiling, but to no avail.

"You guys are really cute together." Sara smiled, glad that one of her moms was supportive of her.

"Thanks." She smiled shyly and held the restaurant door open for her.

They walked inside and Sara recognized the waitress.

"Hello and welcome to Mia's." She greeted cheerfully.

"It's Stacy, right?" Sara hoped that she remembered the name correctly.

"Yes." Stacy seemed a little confused at Sara knowing her name.

"I came in here with Tegan a few months ago." She volunteered, assuming Stacy wouldn't remember.

"Oh yeah," Stacy smiled brightly, "You guys came in and talked for a while. I haven't seen her in a while. How is she?"

"She's doing great," Sara smiled at Stacy, "We just got back from recording in Seattle."

"We?" Stacy raised an eyebrow, "I thought she did a solo act."

"Actually," Sara chuckled, "We performed together once at The Hap and a producer was there and was eager to sign us as a duo."

"That's awesome," Stacy smiled as she sat them in a small booth, "You guys should come in again sometime."

"She'll be here in an hour." Sara smiled up at her.

"That's great!" Stacy smiled widely, "Do you guys want anything to drink?"

"Coffee." They both answered in unison.

Stacy chuckled, "Cream? Sugar?"

"Black." They answered together again and all three broke out in fits of laughter.

"I'll go and get that ready for you guys." Stacy continued to chuckle as she walked away.

"How was recording?" Sonia asked, deciding that is was a good place to start.

"It was great," Sara nodded her head, "A bit tough at times. But Chris is brilliant and he made sure things went smoothly."

"Chris?" Sonia felt like she already couldn't keep up.

"Walla," Sara noticed that the name meant nothing to her, "Our producer."

"Ah," Sonia smiled now that she was on the same page, "What was Seattle like?"

"Honestly," Sara sighed and looked out the window, "A lot like Vancouver. Just American."

"So, rainy and cloudy?"

"It was cloudy most days," Sara smiled as she thought of the park Tegan had found, "But there was a beautiful park not far from the studio. It didn't matter how overcast it was, that park was beautiful."

Sonia nodded and smiled, "How long have you and Tegan been together?"

"Almost two months," Sara smiled at the thought of their first meeting, "We moved pretty fast."

Stacy returned with two mugs and a pot of coffee, pouring it into each mug and smiling, "Just call for me when you're ready to order."

"Thanks Stacy." Sara smiled warmly at her. She liked Stacy. She seemed nice.

"Alright," Sonia smiled at Sara, "Is there anything you want to know about me?"

Sara thought hard about it, "What music do you like?"

Sonia laughed, glad that Sara asked a simple question, "I love Bruce Springsteen."

Sara's eyes lit up, "Really?" She grinned widely, "I used to listen to The Boss with my dad…er Bruce all the time! Tegan and I have played I'm On Fire together a few times as well."

"Bruce actually was the first person to tell me I needed to listen to Springsteen." Sonia smiled at the musical connection they had, "I'd love to hear it sometime if that's okay."

"As long as Tegan is fine with it." Sara smiled and took a sip of coffee.

"What do you do for work, besides making music?"

"I work at our friend Ted's bar," She answered after taking her sip of coffee, "That's how I met Tegan. She performs there on weekends."

"Are you a bartender?" Sonia was having a hard time imagining Sara behind a bar mixing drinks.

"Yes," Sara grimaced as she thought of the painful time in her life when she started tending bar, "It was the only thing I was good at. Or so I thought. I initially took a job in a bar in Montreal because I loved alcohol so much. Thank god I got passed all that though."

"I've been there sweetie." Sonia nodded in understanding.

"What about you," Sara felt like Sonia was trying to read her mind as she spoke, "Why did you become a therapist."

"After I cleaned myself up," She stopped to sip her coffee, "I decided to help others. So I went to college to learn a bit about psychology. I work at an all-girls school where I hope I'm preventing other girls from taking the same path I did."

"That's all I need to know." Sara held up her hand, "I don't need details."

Sonia let out a sigh of relief, "Thanks."

Sara just smiled and drank her coffee.

They talked for what seemed like hours; finding out all the small things, all their many similarities, and some minor differences. They were laughing and talking when Sara spotted Tegan walking through the door.

"Hey Stacy," Tegan smiled and hugged the waitress, "How've you been?"

"I've been great," She grinned at her, "Your friend told me that you guys recorded an album together?"

"Yeah," Tegan waved at Sara who was now smiling widely at her, "And it's girlfriend, actually."

"Oh?" Stacy raised an eyebrow, "Have you been with her since last time you were here?"

"Yes," Tegan let out an exasperated sigh, "She's been good for me Stace. It's nice to have someone for more than a few nights."

"Well go see her then." Stacy stepped aside, letting Tegan walk over to Sara and Sonia's table.

"Hey there bella." Sara greeted her flirtatiously.

"Hi angel." Tegan leaned in and kissed her lips sweetly.

"You guys are too cute." Sonia smiled at them and Sara blushed.

"Thanks." She mumbled, embarrassed about kissing her girlfriend in front of her mom.

"It's nothing to be embarrassed about." Sonia smiled reassuringly.

"Yeah Sara," Tegan grinned at her, "Your cuteness isn't a curse, it's a blessing."

"She called both of us cute Tegan." Sara tried to get the conversation off of her.

"But it's ninety percent you." Sara blushed at the compliment and said a quiet 'stop it'.

"Where did you go shopping?" Sara asked after brushing her shyness away.

"Um…" Tegan looked nervously at Sonia, "Just a place I used to shop at sometimes." She silently prayed that Sara wouldn't push further.

"But where did you go shopping?" Sara didn't notice how nervous Tegan was about it.

Tegan turned red in the face, "Um…it's a…well…um…" Sara finally realized where Tegan had gone.

"Oh." She quickly turned and faced Sonia who was chuckling softly, "You didn't understand any of that."

Tegan tried to hide her face behind Sara's left shoulder. Not wanting to face Sonia.

"It's okay Tegan," Sonia tried to coax Tegan out of hiding, "We're all adults here. No judgment."

"It's not that," Tegan's muffled voice came from her hiding spot, "You're her mom!" The last word came out shakily and a little louder than the others.

"Think of me as a cool older friend." Sonia shook her head and laughed, "I have no false view of Sara. She's a grown woman. I know what it's like to be a grown woman with…needs." She drew out the last word causing Tegan to groan.

Sara was shocked to hear herself laugh. Strangely, this conversation didn't make her uncomfortable, "Yeah Tegan," She reached her right hand over her shoulder to pat Tegan's head, "She knows what it's like." Tegan groaned again and Sonia and Sara shared a laugh.

Tegan finally brought her head away from Sara's back, but she couldn't lift it up to look at Sonia, "I was hoping you just wouldn't ask until after we were home in bed," Tegan's eyes immediately went wide and her head shot up, "Not like that! No, just like lying in bed and talking." Sonia just shook her head and laughed, "I'm still a virgin…" Tegan said unsurely, hoping she could magically get away from the conversation.

"Tegan I'm afraid I've been cheating on you then." Sara poked her in the rib and Tegan hung her head in defeat.

"Just don't look at me." Tegan looked to her left, toward the kitchen and flagged Stacy down, "Stacy save me!"

"What did you do this time?" Stacy mocked frustration as she walked up.

"Don't say it like it happens a lot." Tegan couldn't stop flushing.

Stacy just looked at her and gave her a look that told Tegan that it did happen a lot.

"Okay, fine," She let out a pained sigh, "I went to an adult store today. And now they keep talking about sex." She motioned to the two women who were now sitting silently with mock innocent smiles on their faces.

"Now you know how the rest of us always felt." Stacy quipped before laughing and turning back toward the kitchen.

"Oh?" Sara pretended to be shocked, "You used to talk about sex?"

"Oh shut it," Tegan scowled and tried to hide her smile, "I might have once or twice."

"I'm appalled!" Sara put on an heir of properness.

"Leave me alone." Tegan groaned and buried her head in Sara's shoulder.

"Okay," Sara kissed her on the top of the head, "I'll stop now."

"Thanks," Tegan positioned herself so she was resting the right side of her head on Sara's shoulder and she could look at Sonia, "You're so sweet."

"That's what she said." Sara chuckled at her immature joke, "Sorry but I couldn't resist."

"I can't say anything around you," Tegan let out a laugh, "You're like a seventeen year old boy."

"And I have the sex drive of a…" She was cut off by Tegan hastily covering her mouth with her hand.

"No more." Sara nodded and slowly pulled Tegan's hand away from her mouth.

"I'm done. I promise." Sara squeezed Tegan in a quick side-hug, "I'm sorry babe."

"Its fine," Tegan sat up straight, "Just a little uncomfortable in here."

"You don't have to feel uncomfortable around me Tegan," Sonia spoke gently, "I swear I've heard it all and it no longer phases me."

Tegan smiled, "Thanks." Stacy walked by to refill their coffee mugs and smirked at Tegan.

"Nice unmarked baggy there." She motioned to a bag that had escaped Sara's notice that was now resting in between Tegan's feet.

"Oh shut up Stace." Tegan shook her head in defeat.

After a somewhat long silence, the conversation returned to normal.

"How long have you been making music?" Sonia asked as Tegan took a bite of the sandwich Stacy had just brought out to her.

"Since I was 19." Tegan said after swallowing her mouthful of sandwich, "It was a very hard time in my life and writing music was very helpful."

"Music is very therapeutic." Sonia gave Tegan a warm, understanding smile.

"I couldn't agree more." Tegan returned the smile, "It helped me keep most of my sanity."

They finished their lunch and got in their vehicles. Sonia followed Tegan through the Vancouver traffic and back to Sara's apartment.

When Tegan got out of the car she grabbed her bag and quickly rushed inside the building, blushing just thinking about what was in the cardboard box in the bag. She took the stair so she could get upstairs before Sara and Sonia and quickly rushed into the apartment, throwing the bag on their bed.

Sara walked in as soon as Tegan came back out of their room, "Getting rid of the evidence, eh?"

Tegan hung her head, looking at her feet, "I didn't get rid of it."

Sara laughed, "Good, because I'm intrigued. I want to know what you bought."

Sonia laughed, "You don't have to say what you bought in front of me."

"I hadn't planned on it," Tegan chuckled softly, "You'll find out later Sara."

"Oh?" Sara grinned mischievously, "I can't wait till later."

"Okay," Tegan gave a fake smile, "Let's talk about something else now."

They spent the rest of the afternoon and evening talking and watching TV. Sonia was still tired from her long drive and went bed at just before ten. After saying goodnight Tegan and Sara walked back to their bedroom.

"So," Sara eyed the bag suspiciously, "What did you get?"

Tegan retrieved the box out of the unmarked bag and opened it up, "Remember what we talked about with Lindsey and Emy?" She grinned, lust filling her eyes as she held up a leather harness.


	30. Awkward Morning And Good Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tegan can't help but feel awkward around Sonia in the morning

Sara let out a sharp gasp, "You didn't!"

Tegan took a step forward, nodded, and planted a firm kiss on Sara's lips, "I did."

Sara took a long look at the harness, before biting her lip, "Are you gonna put it on or what?" She quickly eye-fucked her partner, "I'd love to see it on you."

Tegan quickly undid the button on her jeans and pulled them down along with her boxers. She turned and reached back into the back, pulling out a six inch tan dildo. She got the strap-on in place as fast as possible, adjusting the harness so it fit her perfectly.

Sara stifled a moan that was caused by the sight of her girlfriend's eagerness to penetrate her.

"Say hello to my little friend." Tegan grinned at her own joke.

"God Tegan," Sara rolled her eyes, "That's almost enough to make me want to just skip it and go to bed."

"You know you love it." Tegan slowly pulled her button up off, now standing in just an undershirt and strap-on.

Sara pulled her in for a kiss roughly by the front of her shirt. Their tongues danced together passionately and Tegan moaned into Sara's mouth. Sara pulled away grinning and lifted her own shirt up over her head. Tegan took a step forward, planting kiss on Sara's now bare collarbones and neck. As Tegan kissed her, Sara made quick work of her pants, leaving just her boyshorts and a bra on.

"You're so fucking hot." Tegan moaned as she pulled away from kissing her neck area, admiring the mostly bare body in front of her.

Sara smirked and slowly pulled down her boyshorts; taking her time, moving painfully slowly as Tegan stood and watched, biting her lip and trying her hardest not to pull them down herself. As soon as they were off, Sara pulled her close for a sloppy, passionate kiss. All of her focus was on the kiss. Studying every movement that Tegan's tongue made, desperately trying to get more from the kiss. The kiss was so heated that Sara could no longer breath. As she reluctantly pulled away, she felt her bra loosen and she let it fall to the floor.

Tegan eyed her breasts with pure lust in her eyes as she licked her lips. She took one of Sara's already hard nipples into her mouth and sucked on it roughly, letting her passion take over. After giving the other one a similar treatment, she put her hands behind Sara's thighs, begging her to jump into her arms. Sara obliged and wrapped her legs around Tegan, going back to the deep kiss they had recently pulled away from.

Tegan carried Sara over to the bed, and as soon as she felt her knees hit the edge she broke the kiss and tossed Sara onto the bed, crawling on top of her. She reconnected their lips briefly and slowly slid two fingers along Sara's slit. Sara moaned at the contact and bucked her hips, eager for more. Tegan smiled at her and slid a finger inside, eliciting a gasp from Sara. She pumped slowly, preparing Sara for what was to come.

"Please fuck me Tegan." Sara breathed out, just barely audible.

"Of course," Tegan kissed her softly, "My angel."

Tegan took a hold of her cock and slowly slid the tip of it into Sara; Sara's eyes widened in response, causing Tegan to remove it.

"No babe," Sara shook her head, "Its fine. Just haven't done this before."

Tegan gave her a cocky smile, "Then you might not be able to walk tomorrow."

Sara felt a sharp intake of breath, "Don't be too rough."

"Don't worry," Tegan soothed as she slid it back in, "I will be gentle."

Sara bit her lip at the sensation of the strap-on filling her. She moaned as Tegan slid it in further. Sara wrapped her arm around Tegan's neck, holding on for dear life.

"Am I going to hard?" Tegan was concerned; she didn't want to do this if Sara wasn't ready.

"No, you're fine." Sara smiled reassuringly.

Tegan kept a slow pace, not pushing Sara to go harder than she wanted.

"Fuck me," Sara pulled on Tegan, begging her to pick the pace up, "You can go harder than that."

Tegan smirked and obliged. Pumping steadily faster until she hit a pace that felt hard enough without being too hard. Sara let out several low, growl like moans and a few strings of curses as Tegan continued to pump. Tegan could feel Sara start to tense up.

"Just a little more Tegan," Sara gasped out and Tegan pumped harder a few times, "God yes! Jesus fuck!" Sara half moaned half screamed out as she neared the brink, "I'm com-Tegan!" She cried out her name as she hit her high point.

Sara slowly came down to a relaxed state and Tegan slumped down on top of her, supporting herself on one forearm to keep from putting all her weight on Sara.

"That was incredible babe." Sara breathed heavily, struggling to steady her breath.

Tegan just laid there, breath ragged, and let out a low grunt of agreement.

"Maybe I can do the same for you some time." Sara ran her hand through Tegan's now sweaty hair.

"Maybe." Tegan grinned at her, propping herself up further to allow herself to pull out.

Sara hissed from the sensitivity as the dildo was removed from her. Tegan stood up from the bed and undid the harness, storing it in the bag and pushing it under the bed.

"Let's get some sleep." Tegan kissed her sweetly and pulled the covers back, patting the space next to her.

Sara snuggled up next to her and fell asleep almost instantly.

When Tegan woke up the next morning Sara was standing in front of the mirror, dressed for the day, making sure her hair looked good.

"Good morning bella." She smiled at Tegan through the mirror.

"Hi angel." Tegan mumbled sleepily.

"Get dressed," Sara tossed Tegan a large t shirt, "You don't want to walk out of here naked."

Tegan grinned and sat up in bed, "Grab me a bra and boxers."

Sara turned to the basket of clothes and fished out a black bra and batman briefs, "Oh, batman. How cute."

"Shut up." Tegan laughed and put the underwear on, pulling the shirt on over her bra, "Can I have my pajama shorts too. I feel too exposed to walk out there with Sonia in the living room."

Sara rolled her eyes and tossed Tegan the red plaid shorts.

Tegan finished getting dressed and followed Sara into the main room.

"Good morning Sonia." She smiled weakly, and sent her a small wave.

"Good morning Tegan," Sonia smiled and chuckled softly, "I'm glad I fell asleep quickly last night. If your hair is any indication…"

"Just kill me now." Tegan shook her head and mumbled into Sara's shoulder, "Why didn't you remind me to fix my hair?"

"Because you look hot with your sex hair." Sara smiled mischievously and reached around to pinch Tegan's bum.

Tegan blushed and looked over at Sonia, "Just don't look at me. I'm not here." She begged, just wanting to hide in the bedroom.

"Tegan," Sonia walked up to her and rubbed her shoulder, "I honestly don't care that much. I'm intruding in your life, I don't expect you to change the way you are together because of me."

Tegan grabbed a mug and poured herself some coffee, "I'll be in our room." She kept her head down and walked quickly back to the bedroom. She sat down on the end of the bed and looked at herself in the mirror. Yesterday's cute hair was now replaced with messy, matted hair, sticking up in the back and along the sides. It looked chaotic, like someone had put it in a kitchen aid mixer and then put gel in it to keep it like that. She desperately tried to get it to smooth out but it didn't work.

She finished her coffee as quickly as possible and rushed into the bathroom for a shower. She heard a knock on the bathroom door as she was getting undressed.

"Babe let me join you." Sara's voice had an obvious laugh in it.

"No," Tegan shook her head, "I can't have Sonia thinking I've seen you naked."

"I'm just not even gonna comment." Sara's voice was now filled with giggles.

"Shut up. I'm showering alone." Tegan heard Sara walk away laughing and she turned on the shower.

After the shower she put her morning clothes back on and walked across the hall. She replaced the shorts with a pair of jeans and the oversized t shirt with a form fitting v neck. Then she pulled on a dark button up and left it unbuttoned.

"You look good." Sara eyed her as she walked into the main room.

"Thanks." Tegan mumbled shyly.

"Emy and Lindsey are on their way over." Tegan felt like her eyes were going to pop out of her skull.

"Don't you dare tell them about what happened yesterday!" She pointed a finger at Sara, "I will kill you if you do."

"I promise." Sara smiled at her, "I don't want to hear it from them either. Knowing Emy she'll ask about the details." She cringed as she spoke the last part.

"This Emy sounds great." Sonia chuckled from the sofa, "Can't wait to meet her. I feel like we'll get along well."

"Sadly," Tegan shook her head, "You probably will."

It didn't take Emy and Lindsey long to get to their apartment. Sara jumped up as soon as they knocked and she hurriedly opened the door, hugging both of the girls at once.

"Hey guys." Emy smiled widely at Tegan and Sonia, "I'm Emy." She waved at Sonia who smiled in return.

"I'm Sonia." She stood up to shake Emy's hand, "Sara's mom."

"It's nice to meet you," Emy shook her hand eagerly, "This is Lindsey."

"Hi Lindsey." Sonia held out her hand.

"Hi." Lindsey shook it before walking passed to give Tegan a hug.

"Oh my God." Emy laughed as she watched Sara walk to the couch slightly slower than her normal walk, "You guys totally took my advice!"

"God dammit Emy!" Tegan groaned, "I was hoping you wouldn't find out."

"I know what it looks like when someone walks the next day," Emy just grinned, "Trust me, I've seen that walk before." She sent a quick look in Lindsey's direction.

"Come one Emy." Lindsey was now groaning along with Tegan, "They really don't need to know that. And Sara's mom is two feet away from you."

Sonia just chuckled, "Don't worry about that," Sonia grinned over at Emy, "We," She motioned over to Sara, "Were giving Tegan a hard time yesterday and this morning."

"All the more reason to worry." Lindsey sighed out.

"I guess it is for you guys." Sara shrugged from the spot she had taken on the couch, "I find it all very entertaining."

"And it's three against two," Emy grinned evilly, "So you're screwed."

"Actually Sara is the one who was screwed." Tegan quipped without even thinking about it.

Sara blushed from her spot on the couch, "I think that makes it four against one Linds."

Lindsey just stood in silence and shook her head.

"Is it too early for a beer?" Emy asked as she walked to the fridge.

"Go right ahead." Sara smiled over at her.

"Get me one." Lindsey practically begged.

"Coming right up." Emy pulled to beers out of the fridge and popped the caps off.

"Thanks." Lindsey grabbed one eagerly and took a big gulp.

"So Sonia," Emy turned her attention back to Sara's mom, "Sara's never really talked about you before. Did you guys just recently reconcile or something?"

"Just met actually." Sonia answered nonchalantly, causing Emy to choke on a sip of beer.

"What?" She choked out.

"It's a long story," Sonia smiled at her, pleased with the shocked reaction, "My sister adopted her and I moved to Calgary. I didn't have any contact with her until a couple days ago."

"Oh…" Emy thought hard for a minute, "Welcome to our family then." Emy smiled warmly.

"Where family now?" Tegan questioned with a smile on her face.

"We're like dysfunctional in laws or something," Emy smiled and shrugged, "I think."

"Awesome." Sara grinned from the couch, "I think that makes Linds and I sisters."

"Sounds good." Lindsey grinned over the mouth of her beer bottle before taking another large sip.

"And Tegan's the only child ladies' man," Emy pointed at Tegan as if she might have been talking about a different Tegan, "And I'm the in law that nobody want to invite to parties for fear I'll embarrass everyone."

"That's exactly what you are." Lindsey laughed.

"Damn straight." Emy smiled proudly.

"I'm a ladies' woman," Tegan corrected, "I'm not a man."

"Fine." Emy laughed and took a drink of her beer.

"I think Stacy is my cousin or something." Tegan and Emy were lost in this game, now feeling the need to connect all their friends.

"Definitely," Emy nodded her agreement, "And just like my real cousins…I always forget to hang out with her."

"She should come to The Hap with us next time we're all there." Sara suggested from the couch.

"Yeah," Emy agreed, "And speaking of The Hap, Ted is totally the cool rich Uncle who spoils everyone."

"You say that like he isn't really our Uncle." Tegan joked with her.

"I never realized I had such a big family." Sara smiled over at her friends and girlfriend.

"It's fucking huge Sara," Emy nodded her head with deliberation, "You haven't even met them all yet."

"I look forward to it."

They talked for hours. A lot of it was about their friends, and then there was Emy's occasional question for Sonia. After a while Lindsey and Emy had to leave to go see another friend of theirs. They then spent the early hours of the afternoon watching TV.

"We should take Sonia to The Hap tonight." Tegan suggested after they turned the TV off.

"It's a gay bar Tegan." Sara shook her head.

"I'm perfectly okay being hit on by cute girls." Sonia answered with a smile, "Besides, I'd love to see more of your friends."

"See Sara," Tegan stuck out her tongue childishly, "It was a good idea."

"Fine," Sara sighed in mock frustration, "We can go to The Hap."

Tegan grinned and clapped her hands happily, "I'm telling Emy and Lindsey and Stacy."

"Sounds good." Sara smiled and gave Tegan a small kiss, "Hopefully they are all free tonight."


	31. Night Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tegan and Sara have a night out and Sara gets a surprise the next morning

"What's up Tegan?" Lindsey asked as she hit accept on her phone.

"Hey Linds," Tegan greeted before taking a breath, "We're going to The Hap tonight; You guys down for hanging out?"

Lindsey shouted something out through her and Emy's apartment and Tegan could hear Emy respond before Lindsey spoke again, "When?"

"In like thirty minutes or so." Tegan was expecting another shout to sound through Lindsey's apartment with another response, but she almost choked and started to laugh at Lindsey's response.

"We'll be busy for a little while," She could hear Lindsey speaking just a little quieter than before, followed by an overly loud Emy, "I'm already strapped on Tegan leave us alone!"

"Say no more," Tegan covered her mouth as a laugh escaped her, "I'll leave you two to it. We'll see you guys later then."

"Bye." Lindsey sounded completely embarrassed but before she hung up Tegan heard something that made her almost puke. Emy always seemed to talk too loudly whenever someone could be embarrassed by it, "You've been a naughty maid. Come here and take your punishment."

Tegan wretched as she hung up the phone, that was something she never wanted to hear her friend say. As she tried desperately to get the image of Lindsey in some sort of sexy made costume out of her head Sara walked into the bedroom with a smile on her face.

"Are Emy and Lindsey free?" Tegan let out an involuntary shutter.

"They'll be showing up late." She cringed as she spoke, "I'm going to call Stacy real quick."

"Okay." Sara smiled. Tegan was jealous that Sara didn't hear what she just had.

She tried to shake the thoughts out of her head as she called Stacy.

Stacy picked up after a couple of rings, "Hello."

"Hey Stace."

"Hey Tegan," She could here Stacy's smile lighting up her face, "Why are you calling me?"

"Well," Tegan started to feel guilty for not hanging out with Stacy more. She used to eat at Mia's all the time and Stacy was almost always working. They had talked a lot and eventually started hanging out outside of Tegan's lunches. But then Sara came along, and Tegan sort of forgot to talk to her other friends. If Emy and Lindsey weren't artists she probably wouldn't have kept in any kind of contact with them other than the occasional night at the bar. But now things were starting to return to normal, "Sara, Sonia, Lindsey, Emy and I are going to The Hap. Do you want to join us?"

"Of course," Stacy sounded relieved, "I haven't been there in weeks. And last time I was, you were in Seattle."

"Awesome," Tegan smiled, excited to hang out with all of her close friends, "We'll be there in a half an hour, but Emy and Lindsey are too busy right now so they'll be a little late."

"Say no more," Stacy chuckled, "I'll be there on time." There was a hint of sadness as she said the second part.

"See you soon." Tegan smiled as they said their goodbyes.

"We should get ready." Sara spoke up as soon as Tegan hung up.

"Pick something out for me." Tegan smiled as she took off the shirt she had been wearing all day. When she turned around after undressing down to her underwear she was met by Sara holding up her dark burgundy button up and black tie.

Tegan chuckled, "You really like that combo don't you?"

Sara nodded and bit her lip, "This and black skinny jeans."

"Toss me an undershirt." Tegan grabbed the clothes from Sara and laid them out on the bed. A wifebeater landed on top of the button up and she immediately picked it up and put it on.

"You look good." Sara smiled at her after she finished getting dressed.

"So do you." Tegan eyed her up and down. She was wearing black slacks and a baby blue button up that fit her loosely. And a blazer; Tegan licked her lips and pulled her bottom lip into her mouth as she bit back a moan, "I take it back."

Sara looked offended.

"You look so much better than good," Tegan grinned as Sara playfully punched her shoulder, "You look damned sexy."

"Thanks." Sara blushed slightly.

"Let's get your mom and go." Sara smiled at the word mom and nodded her head.

They walked out of their bedroom and into the living room.

"Are you ready Sonia?" Tegan asked as she tossed Sara her keys from their spot on the counter.

"Yeah," Sonia smiled as she pulled her shoes on, "You guys look cute."

Tegan blushed and looked at her feet and Sara mumbled out, "Thanks."

They piled into Sara's sedan and drove to the bar. It wasn't overly crowded and they were able to park close to the building.

"Hey Ted!" Tegan shouted out while on her tiptoes, stretching her hand out as high as she could as she waved at him.

He chuckled and gave her a half wave, "Hi Tegan." She pushed her way to the bar with Sara and Sonia trailing behind her.

"When Stacy gets here tell her we're in the booth over there," She pointed to an empty booth in the, "Same goes for Emy and Lindsey."

Ted gave her a thumbs up, "Got it." She smiled and thanked him before turning and leading Sara and Sonia to the afore mentioned booth.

They got their drinks and talked briefly as they waited for Stacy, who showed up before long. They watched as Ted greeted her and pointed over to their booth. As soon as Stacy turned Tegan and Sara gave her huge smiles and waved. She ordered a drink and walked over to them, beer in hand.

"Hey guys." She smiled and plopped herself down next to Sonia, across from Tegan and Sara.

"Hey Stace." Tegan smiled at her, "Glad you could come."

"Me too," She smiled and looked around, "Doesn't look like a whole lot of girls here tonight."

Tegan looked around and was confused at the comment seeing as it was almost only girls at the bar tonight. But then she slowly realized what Stacy meant. It looked like almost everyone was here with someone. She felt a pang of sadness for her friend who was so obviously lonely.

"What are you talking about," Sara hadn't bothered to read into Stacy's comment, "There are girls everywhe-" She stopped as Tegan shot her a look, "What?"

Tegan shook her head and took a sip of her jack and coke before smiling up at Stacy, "How's work been?"

"Busy," Stacy answered absently mindedly, still scanning the crowd of people, "I've been working a lot lately."

Tegan sat in silence for a second, trying to think of what to say next.

Stacy let out a small sigh before returning her attention to the people at the tables, "How've you guys been?" She gave them each a somewhat pained smile.

"We've been great." Sara answered while looking over at Tegan and smiled. She turned her attention back at Stacy and started to say something when she saw Emy and Lindsey walk in, "Oh look," She pointed at them, "They're here."

Tegan looked up and immediately was reminded of the mental image she had tried so hard to erase earlier.

Emy noticed them without having to talk to Ted and waved at them. Her and Lindsey walked over, both smiling widely.

"Hey Em." Tegan greeted while avoiding eye contact, "Hey Linds."

"Hey Tegan." Lindsey blushed slightly as she spoke, clearly thinking about the fact that Emy had told Tegan what they were doing.

"Sorry we're late," Emy grinned at her and raised an eyebrow suggestively, "But I'm not that sorry."

"God," Lindsey shook her head, "I'm going to need more alcohol before you can talk about that." She quickly drank the martini she had brought over from the bar.

"Go right ahead," Emy smiled mischievously, "You're more adventurous when you're drunk."

Tegan choked on her drink. More adventurous? They were roleplaying earlier. She definitely didn't want to know the step up from that.

"Shut up." Lindsey blushed and hid her face.

"Oh," Emy smiled as she noticed Stacy, "Hi Stacy."

"Hi Emy." Stacy smiled.

"I'll go sit next to Tegan and Sara," Sonia spoke up, motioning for Stacy to exit the booth, "That way there will be room for you guys on one bench."

"Thanks Sara's mom." Emy smiled at her and Sonia laughed.

"Please call me Sonia," She shook her head, "You make it sound like I'm old when you call me Sara's mom."

"Sorry Sonia." Emy grinned and sat down after Stacy scooted toward the wall.

Tegan and Sara scooted to allow room for Sonia.

They all sat and talked for a while, ordering a second and third round of drinks. Emy and Lindsey got up and started dancing to the pop music that was blaring through the speakers. Sonia returned to her spot next to Stacy to allow for Tegan and Sara to have more room.

"So Stacy," Sonia smiled warmly at her, "Do you have a girlfriend?"

Stacy shook her head slowly, "I've been single for a while now."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Sonia thought for a second, "You're a beautiful lady though, I'm sure you'll find someone soon."

Stacy gave her a half smile and returned to her drink. She wished that were true. Every girl she met, every girl she took home, and even just the girls that caught her eye turned out to be jerks to her. She wanted to find a nice girl who wouldn't hurt her. But all of them seemed to be taken. She finished her Long Island Ice Tea and excused herself from the table.

Sara heard Tegan let out a pained sigh from next to her.

"What's wrong?" Sara voiced her concern.

"Stacy." Tegan shook her head.

"What about her?" Sara could tell she was upset, but she didn't see why Tegan was so concerned.

"Well," Tegan turned to face her, "Her last few 'long term' relationships have ended poorly. Her last girlfriend cheated on her, the one before that actually hit her a few times and constantly belittled her, and the one before that was a girl that Stacy was in love with. But she hurt Stacy. She broke up with her and told her she had never really loved her. So, Stacy really needs someone who's good for her."

"Oh." Sara responded in the smallest voice Tegan had ever heard.

"Yeah." Tegan returned to her drink, "Want to dance?"

Sara nodded and then looked at Sonia, "Are you okay with all of us ditching you like this?"

Sonia waved her off, "It's fine," She smiled, "You kids go have fun."

"Thanks." Sara gave her a quick hug and grabbed Tegan's hand, practically dragging her to the open area that served as a dance floor.

They dance together slowly, rocking back and forth, like teenagers at a school dance.

"I love you." Sara whispered in Tegan's ear before placing a kiss on her cheek.

Tegan blushed and smiled, "I love you too." She captured Sara's lips in a slow, sweet kiss.

They pressed together ever so slightly and swayed without moving their feet, Elton John's Tiny Dancer playing softly through the building.

"I'm glad they played a slower song," Tegan smiled, "Hold me closer tiny dancer." She sung slightly off key do to the alcohol.

Sara smiled anyway, "Count the headlights on the highway." She finished the line and kissed Tegan.

They danced until the song was done, and then made their way back to Sonia. Sara stood in shock as she watched a woman walk away from the booth just as they walked up to it.

"What was that about?" Sara asked after she shook the shock away.

"She was just flirting with me." Sonia laughed as Sara shook her head.

"I knew we shouldn't have come here Tegan." Sara tried to apologize for the incident.

"It's fine Sara," Sonia smiled at her, "I feel flattered, actually."

"Oh," Sara laughed at herself for assuming Sonia would be uncomfortable, "You didn't lead her on did you?"

Sonia shook her head slightly, "I explained the situation and thanked her for the drink. She smiled and said 'no problem' and then walked away."

Sara smiled and laughed again, "I can't believe someone hit on you."

"Why?" Sonia took an offended heir, "Am I too old or something?"

"What? No," Sara's eyes widened, "It's not that. It's just you're my mom."

Sonia let out a chuckle, "I knew what you meant Sara."

Sara started to give another response when she felt her phone vibrating in her pocket.

"Hello?" She didn't bother to look at who was calling.

"Hi Sara," The voice sounded vaguely familiar, "It's Amanda."

"Hi Amanda," Sara smiled wide, "How've you been."

"I've been better," She sounded like she had been crying, "I just got fired."

"That's terrible." Sara didn't know what else to say to comfort her.

"So," Amanda spoke a little clearer than before, "I was wondering if it would be okay if I came to Vancouver and stayed with you for a while."

"Of course," Sara smiled, glad that she could help, "But we don't have a lot of room. My mom is staying with us right now."

"Oh," Amanda sounded dejected, "I won't bother you then."

"Amanda," Sara spoke sternly, "Its fine. We'll work something out."

"Are you sure?" Amanda's voice betrayed, what was meant to be calm instead came out slightly cracked, and had a hint of high hopes.

"I'm sure." Sara didn't know how they'd fit another person for sleeping, but it didn't matter, "When do you think you'll be here?"

"Is tomorrow too soon?" She sounded desperate.

"Of course not." Sara reassured her.

"Then tomorrow," Amanda now smiled as she spoke, "I'll see you soon."

"Yeah," Sara responded with her own joyful voice, "I'll see you tomorrow."

Amanda hung up and Sara turned to Tegan, "Amanda is coming tomorrow."

"Who?" Tegan knew the name but couldn't place it.

"Amanda," Sara searched her brain for a description, "From Montreal, blonde, a little taller than me, grocery shopping…"

"Oh," Tegan smiled when she remember who it was, "Awesome."

"Yeah," Sara nodded in agreement, "We might have to make room for Sonia in our room so Amanda can sleep in the living room."

"I can leave if you need me too." Sara shook her head at Sonia's suggestion.

"I'm just getting to know you," Sara spoke with a smile, "I'm not letting you leave yet."

Sonia smiled in response and Tegan spoke, "That sounds like a good plan Sasa. We'll just have to get another mattress or something."

"You called me Sasa again." Sara chuckled at the accidental nickname that Tegan had now given her twice.

"I did?" Tegan didn't know when she had said it before, "I guess I just don't like saying your name when I've been drinking."

"Guess not." Sara smiled at her sweetly and pulled her in for a brief, soft kiss. She pulled away and concentrated hard, thinking of a cute little name to call Tegan, "Teetee."

"What?" Tegan laughed at the name, "That sounds like a kids nickname."

Sara scoffed, "And Sasa doesn't?"

Tegan huffed, "It does."

Sara rolled her eyes, "You're such a child Tegan."

"You didn't think so last night." Tegan grinned, not caring in her drunken state about Sonia over hearing.

"Fine," Sara blushed just barely and rolled her eyes, "You're such a teenager. Better?"

Tegan laughed, "Not really."

"Well it's the best you'll get." Sara stuck her tongue out.

"I thought you were the best I got." Tegan eyed her up and down.

"Thanks," Sara grinned, "But also, shut up. I'm trying to pick on you, and you're being all sweet isn't working with that."

Tegan gave her a gummy smile. She couldn't help but feel that she was the luckiest person alive. She had the hottest girlfriend. And she was one of the sweetest people she had ever met.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Stacy returning to the booth.

"Hey Stace." Sara smiled at her as she sat down.

"Hey guys," Stacy smiled weakly, "I just had to go to the bathroom."

From the redness of her eyes Tegan knew that she had been in there crying for the last ten minutes.

"Oh Stacy." Tegan smiled as she remembered something.

"What's up?" Stacy turned her gaze Tegan's way.

"We have a friend visiting tomorrow," Tegan smiled as she played matchmaker, "You should come over and meet her to make her feel more comfortable here."

Stacy's mouth turned up in a small smile, "Okay, just let me know when she arrives."

Tegan smiled smugly at her plan to get the two interested in each other. Sara just sat beside her and shook her head slightly, as if to confirm that she was, in fact, dating a teenager.


	32. Ghosts And More Ghosts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tegan has a nightmare and Sara talks to Amanda about old times

They didn't get back to their apartment until almost two in the morning, drunk, tired and in one case, asleep. Sonia hadn't had much to drink so she volunteered to drive and they dropped off their friends. They dropped off Emy and Lindsey first.

"Goodnight guys," Emy shouted drunkenly, "We'll see you again soon." She waved over her shoulder as her and Lindsey leaned on each other as they walked up the couple of steps to the door.

"Goodnight Emy," Tegan waved back, "Night Lindsey."

"Sleep well." Sara waved and smiled at them.

"We won't be sleeping anytime soon." Emy turned around to give them an immature smile.

"You just had to say something?" Tegan shook her head as Sonia pulled away from the building.

"I'm drunk," Sara defended herself, "I wasn't thinking clearly."

"Obviously." Tegan punched her shoulder lightly.

When Stacy was dropped off she just waved and said a quiet goodnight before trudging inside her own apartment building.

"Has she always been like that?" Sara asked, concerned about her new friend.

"Not really," Tegan shook her head, "It's been since her last girlfriend dumped her."

"Oh." Sara nodded her head in understanding.

"Alright, how do I get back to your apartment?" Sonia looked at them through the rearview mirror.

"I'll get in the front seat and give you directions." Sara smiled and got out of the car and got back in on the passenger's side.

By the time they got home Tegan had fallen asleep in the backseat. Sara thought for a minute about shaking her in an attempt to wake her up. She shook the thought out of her head and decided to carry her.

"Do you need help?" Sonia asked as she turned off the car and locked the doors.

Sara shook her head and smiled, "I've got her." She pulled Tegan into her arms and carried her like you would carry a small child, "Can you close the door for me?" Sonia nodded and closed it before heading to the door of the apartment to hold it open for her.

"Thanks." Sara smiled as she scooted passed the front door and walked to the elevator. She carried Tegan to through the door, to their bedroom, and laid her down on the bed. She removed the shoes and tie and tucked her under the covers. She smiled and walked across the hall to the bathroom to take a shower before bed.

Sara smiled at the peaceful form in her bed before turning and walking out of the room, closing the door silently behind her.

\--Tegan walked inside her house after school one day. She could hear her father yelling and the sound of open handed slaps. Her mom was whimpering in the living room as Tegan walked passed. Gabriel turned as he heard her shoes on the tile entryway.

"Come here Tegan." He spoke sternly, and for a second Tegan saw him as a normal father. A father who say down with his kid when something was wrong, confronted the issues with calm collected logic and told her whatever it was that she had done was wrong and why it was wrong.

Her thoughts delayed her and she stood in the entry a second too long.

"I said to get the fuck in here!" He raised his voice at her and tapped his foot impatiently, "Why are you home late?"

Tegan blinked in confusion. She wasn't late. She had taken the bus home and it arrived on time, "I'm not late."

Tegan felt hard knuckles connect with the right side of her jaw. The pain was unbearable and the tears slid down her cheeks. He has never hit her like that before. He had slapped her, pushed her away and called her names. But he had never hit her hard. Gabriel always reserved the hard hits for her mom.

"You're fucking late!" He half screamed at her, alcohol heavy on his breath.

"S-sorry." Tegan stammered out, trying to fight back the tears that wouldn't stop coming.

"That's better." He grunted and turned back towards her mom who was cowering on the couch, "You can go to your room now."

Tegan tried to leave the living room as fast as she could, but it wasn't fast enough to escape the sounds of Gabriel's belt whipping through the air and hitting the bare skin of her mom's shoulder. Tegan slammed the door of her room and turned The Smashing Pumpkins on, hoping to drown out the sound. And when that didn't work she buried her head in her pillow and cried herself to sleep.--

"Sara!" Tegan woke up screaming. She was covered in sweat and was shaking badly.

"Are you okay Tegan?" She heard Sonia's voice coming through the closed door.

"I need Sara." Tegan hugged her knees to her chest.

"She's in the shower honey," Sonia sounded sympathetic toward her, "Is there anything I can do?"

"Can you try and get Sara's attention?" Tegan pulled the blankets up over her knees, trying her best to hide in them completely, her head just poking out above them.

"Sure, honey," Sonia soothed through the closed door, "I'll try."

Tegan could hear a muffled knock and some unintelligible talking. After a while she noticed that the water wasn't running and then she heard the bathroom door open. The bedroom door moved open quietly and Sara walked in softly, wrapped in a towel.

"Baby what's wrong?" Sara sat down beside her and wrapped her in a hug.

"I had a dream." Tegan was still shaking, "A memory."

"I'm so sorry." Sara rubbed her back slowly.

"Can you lay down with me?" Sara nodded and climbed over to her side of the bed, "Don't leave please."

Sara smiled warmly, "I won't leave Tegan," Sara pulled the towel off and tossed it aside, "Come over here and I'll hold you."

Tegan scooted over and relaxed in Sara's warm, strong arms. She smiled as she started to fade back out of consciousness.

Sara placed several soft kisses in Tegan's hair, hoping to calm her even further with the small signs of affection. She could hear Tegan's breath go to a much steadier, calmer pace, and she smiled before pulling her closer and letting her mind wander.

\--"What about her, Sara?" Jessie pointed at one of the girls in their math class.

"What about her?" Sara tried to play innocent.

"Do you think she's attractive?" Jessie prodded, just wanting Sara to admit a girl was attractive in public.

"Maybe." Sara grinned as Jessie rolled her eyes. Ever since she had told her best friend that she was gay Jess wouldn't leave her alone about it. Sara didn't really mind though, seeing how comfortably Jessie talked about her sexuality made it a little easier to not care about what other people might think.

"I think she's hot." Jessie smirked and turned to look back at the same student as before, "Hey there." Jessie smiled when the girl turned her head towards her, "You look good."

The girl gave her a disgusted look and muttered something under her breath before turning and facing the front of the classroom.

"Good morning everyone!" Mr. Jamison smiled at them as he walked into the classroom.

"Good morning." They all responded in unison.

Sara zoned out for most of the class. She knew what she was doing in math, she didn't need to pay attention. Suddenly her arm received a sharp pinch.

"What the hell?" Sara turned and glared at Jessie.

"What?" Jess shrugged innocently, "You didn't respond to the bell."

"Oh." Sara responded sheepishly.

"What's on your mind?" Jessie looked serious as she tried to get her best friend to open up to her.

"It's nothing." Sara shrugged it off and began gathering her stuff.

Jessie grabbed her wrist softly; not letting her put her textbook away just yet.

"It's not nothing Sara," She looked her in the eyes, trying to read her, "Something is bothering you."

Sara sighed and looked around nervously, "I just don't know how you do it."

"Do what?" Jessie raised one eyebrow in question.

"Talk to girls so confidently when you either know they're straight or you have no clue if they are." Sara shook her head, "I can't even talk to girls."

"It's all attitude," Jessie smiled at her, "If you tell yourself you're confident, eventually you will be. You just need to stop caring what people think somewhere along the road to confidence."

Sara shook her head slowly, "I don't know if I can do that Jess."

Jessie tightened her grip on her best friend's wrist, "Look at me Sara."

Sara obeyed and looked her friend in the eye.

"Before you met me I was insecure and always worried what people thought about me," Her face changed into a half smile, "And now I don't give a shit about what they think. And you know what that's gotten me?"

Sara shook her head.

"It's gotten me two girlfriends," Jessie's mouth was now forming a wide grin, "And several people's numbers at coffee shops," Sara chuckled as she remembered all the guys that wrote their numbers on napkins only to be turned down by Jess, "It also got me an awesome best friend; because I was myself with you and I didn't care what you thought."

Sara returned the smile, "Really?"

"Yes," Jessie gave her a hug over the desk, "And I now know the real you, and the real you is awesome. Let other people see her, okay?"

Sara bit her lip and nodded, "Okay."  
-  
Jessie gave her a quick peck on the cheek, "I'll see you after class."--

Sara rubbed the tears off of her cheek, "Thanks Jess." She smiled and pulled Tegan in as close as possible without them becoming one person. Sara fell asleep quickly, taking comfort in the comfort that she was giving to her girlfriend. She dreamt of Jessie and Tegan meeting each other. And it was a beautiful, pleasant dream.


	33. Why?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tegan drains a bottle and thinks back on the night

Tegan sat in her open window at her apartment. The bottle of whiskey was down to the halfway mark, the pack of cigarettes was almost empty. She took a look outside to the concrete below. It was far, so she'd have to land just right or it would only hurt.

Tegan woke up and grinned at Sara sleeping peacefully. She leaned over and kissed her forehead before shaking her to wake her up.

"Hmm?" Sara didn't bother to open her eyes.

"Hi angel." Tegan smiled, "It's time to get up. Amanda's coming today."

"Good morning bella," Sara opened her eyes and gave her a sleepy smile, "What time is it?"

Tegan looked at the alarm clock on the bedside table, "It's almost eleven."

Sara's eyes shot open, "Amanda messaged me last night and said she'd be arriving at noon!"

Tegan sat up and got out of bed, "Then you'd better get dressed and ready to pick her up from the airport."

Sara nodded and got out of bed.

Tegan took another drink before pulling the second to out the last cigarette and lighting it. She inhaled the smoke deeply before letting it escape through her nose. She heard footsteps outside her apartment door and a knock on the door.

"I'm so glad you came!" Sara was saying as she helped Amanda put her suitcase in the trunk.

"I'm just happy you're letting me stay with you." Amanda gave her a small shy small.

They got in the car and Sara drove back to her apartment where Tegan and Sonia were waiting.

When they arrived Sara insisted on carrying the luggage up to her apartment.

"We're here." Sara called out as she struggled to open the door.

Sonia got up from the couch and gave her daughter a hug before introducing herself to Amanda, "Hi, I'm Sonia."

"It's nice to meet you." Amanda held out her hand and Sonia shook it.

Sara looked around the apartment, "Where's Tegan?"

"She's in the bedroom on the phone with Stacy." Sonia motioned to the bedroom door.

Sara left Amanda and Sonia alone and walked to the bedroom.

Tegan was sitting on the end of the bed with her head down. She looked up as she heard the door open.

"Hey Tegan." Sara smiled at her, "Sonia said you were talking with Stacy."

"I was," Tegan seemed irritated, "She got called into work."

"That's too bad," Sara sat down next to Tegan and rubbed her back lightly, "She seemed interested in meeting Amanda."

Tegan nodded her head, "Yeah."

"Come on," Sara stood up and pulled on Tegan's hand, "Let's go talk to her."

Tegan didn't answer her door. She let whoever it was knock, hoping that they'd give up and walk away. But then she heard the door opening. Whoever did that must have had her spare key. And Sara had her spare key.

"Tegan?" It was Ted.

"Go away." Tegan turned to glare at him.

Ted stood in the middle of her apartment; defiant of her order to go, but caring in the way he spoke.

"Tegan," He said softly, not wanting to upset her further, "It wasn't what you thought."

She turned and looked at him. Tears were in her eyes and the bitter taste of alcohol was on her tongue, "Yeah fucking right. That's what they all say."

Ted kept his calm, "I was there Tegan. I saw it form the beginning." He watched as her expression seemed to stay the same, "It wasn't what you think."

There was a knock on the door and Tegan stood up to answer it.

"Hey Tegan." Ted grinned at her as she opened the door.

"Hey Ted," She pulled him in for a quick hug, "What are you doing here?"

Ted shifted uneasily, "Don't hate me."

"Ted." Tegan said sternly, "What did you get this time?" She rolled her eyes knowing that he had got her something overly expensive that she couldn't afford.

"I bought you guys some gifts," He smiled as she glared at him, "As a further thank you for the opportunity you gave me."

"Fine," Tegan rolled her eyes, "Come on in."

She stepped out of his way, allowing him to enter.

"Hey Ted." Sara smiled at him from the couch and placed her hand lightly on Amanda's shoulder "This is Amanda."

"Hey Sara," Ted smiled in return, "Nice to meet you Amanda."

"Nice to meet you Ted." Amanda smiled nervously and slightly bowed her head, a defense mechanism she had learned from the years of anxiety.

"I got you something Sara," He smiled and held out a small bag, "I figured you could use it to welcome your guest." He gestured toward Amanda.

"Thanks Ted." He handed her the bag and she undid the ribbon at the top. She pulled out a bottle of champagne made by a company she had never heard of, "Wow! Thank you so much! Drinks anyone?" She beamed as she stood up from the couch and walked to the kitchen.

"That was nice Ted." Tegan smiled as she walked past him to take Sara's place on the couch.

"Anytime Tegan." He grinned at her.

"Tegan!" Sara raised her voice from the kitchen, "Can you go to the store and buy champagne flutes?"

"What?" Tegan rolled her eyes, "Why do we need champagne flutes? Can't we use wine glasses?"

"For champagne this nice?" Sara scoffed at her in a mock proper voice, "That would be a sin!"

"Fine! Fine!" Tegan raised her hands in surrender, "Do you have cash?"

"Yeah," She gestured toward the bedroom, "My wallet's on the dresser."

"You left Tegan," Ted took a couple of cautious steps forward, "I swear to you, it wasn't what you though."

"Stop it Ted!" Tegan shook her head at him, "I don't want to hear it. If it was so innocent why didn't Sara come?"

Ted stopped in his tracks. He had a look of horror on his face, "Sara is too busy crying in bed. As soon as she realized she had hurt you she started crying and apologizing to no one. She needs you Tegan. Why would she purposefully hurt you?"

"Yeah?" Tegan moved her legs inside the window, "Can you carry me to your car? I'm too drunk to move."

"Of course!" Ted let out a sigh of relief before closing the distance between them, "Let's get you home."

"Home." Tegan smiled sloppily in her drunken state.

Amanda pulled her legs up onto the couch and turned toward Sara, "Thank you for inviting me here."

"It's no problem," Sara smiled at her, "I love helping my friends and family."

Amanda grinned wide, "It really means a lot. I don't really have anyone back home." Her smile as she spoke, "They all started neglecting me. They told me I was over re-acting to Jessica's death. Apparently you can't be sad if you barely knew them." Amanda choked on a sob.

"That's not true." Sara pulled her in for a comforting hug, "Loss can have a huge effect; especially when it's someone like Jessie." She gently rubbed her back, "You can always take comfort here."

"Thank you." She mumbled into Sara's shoulder, along with a few incoherent words.

"What was that?" Sara turned her head slightly, freeing her hair from Amanda's hair.

Amanda turned as well so she could speak clearer.

That's when the door opened.

Tegan stood in shock. Her girlfriend's mouth was seemingly lip to lip with Amanda's. The girl that she had thought she liked. Apparently she was wrong. She set down the box of champagne flutes, but stayed standing in the doorway.

"Tegan!" Sara spoke with a start at the sound of the box hitting the floor.

"Why?" Tegan shook her head and bit back the tears, "After…you asked me to…move…why?" Tegan choked out a barely coherent sentence.

"What?" The realization of what it must have looked like dawned on her seconds too late, "No! It wasn't that! We weren't doing anyth-"

"Fuck you!" Tegan stormed off slamming the door.

"That's all it was?" Tegan felt like a complete idiot now.

"I swear." Ted responded softly from the driver's seat.

"I'm such an ass." Tegan sobbed, "I overreacted! God! What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing is wrong with you but your past." Ted spoke with such assuredness Tegan believed him for that moment, "You're perfect Tegan. You just had some cracks and bruises left from your childhood. You need Sara to help you with them. I've never been able to get too far below your surface."

Tegan mumbled something and nodded through her sobs.

"Don't beat yourself up over this," He reached out an arm to rub her shoulder in reassurance, "You don't need more of that. You have a good thing going for you. You saw what you saw, and I guarantee Sara is blaming herself right now; Amanda as well. But don't let them. It was just an unfortunate incident that needs to be gotten past as fast as possible."

Tegan nodded her head again, "I know."

"So you understand what I'm saying?" Ted risked taking his eyes of the road to make sure she nodded in agreement, "Because we still need to set up Stacy with somebody. And Amanda seems like a good candidate."

Tegan smiled in spite of herself, "Okay."

"We're here." Ted spoke up again after a few minute's silence, "I'll help you get inside."

"Thanks Ted."

Ted carried her into the elevator and then to the apartment door. He set her down to turn the handle, "Where's Sara?" He asked as soon as the door was open.

"She's in the bedroom." Sonia spoke anxiously, "Did you find Tegan?"

"Yeah," He turned and picked Tegan back up, "As long as she remembers what I've told her, things will be fine."

"Good," Sonia smiled as the relief spread, "She doesn't look good."

"She was holding a half empty bottle of whiskey," Ted explained as he walked to the bedroom, "She won't be feeling good tomorrow."

Tegan fell asleep before she even saw Sara.

"You goddamn fuck up!" Gabriel was yelling at the table again. All of his anger was focused on Mia, "I don't even know why I'm still married to you. You do everything wrong! You can't even make decent pasta!"

"I'm sorry." Mia spoke quietly, barely above a whisper.

"You sure as hell better be sorry!" He threw his plate to the ground, "Fucking terrible! I've never had worse!"

He stormed off and left the girls alone.

"Mamma," Tegan rushed over to hug her mom, "It wasn't bad. Honest to God."

"You're not fooling me Tegan," Mia shook her head, "Gabriel's right. It's awful!"

"No mamma." Tegan shook her head and cried softly, "He's not right. He's never right."

Mia turned and gave her a sad smile, "If only that were true, honey."

Tegan was in shock. How could her mom believe anything he said?

"Finish your food if you can," She continued her sad smile, "But it's not very good."

Tegan leaned over to grab Gabriel's plate.

"I'll get that honey," Her mom waved her off, "Just eat what you can."

Tegan cried herself to sleep that night. The night she realized her mom was not the same person she had been when Tegan was younger. She was a shadow, a shell of her former self. She was stuck believing everything Gabriel said. Tegan remembered back to when she would defy him. When they would argue; the arguing was bad, but now it was just a one sided beating. No retorts. No second opinions. Mia had given up.

Tegan awoke with a start. Her heart was beating fast and she was sweating profusely.

"Hmm?" Sara groaned from her spot next to her, "What's wrong bella?"

Tegan smiled as she sighed in relief, "It was a dream angel." She couldn't believe she had been mad at Sara. It now seemed obvious. She should never have assumed Sara would have done the other.

"Tell me," Sara's words froze Tegan, "It's good to share sometimes."

Tegan collected her thought and though carefully of her wording.

"My dad got upset over my mom's cooking. It was really a good meal. But he was blind to everything good that she did. He stormed off and left us alone." Tegan thought hard, grasping at the feelings that had been present in the dream, "I tried to comfort her. I told her the food was good." She felt a tear trail down her jaw, "She just sat there. She responded like some sort of programmed robot. Just over a year before her death and she had already given up. She was empty, Sara." Tegan was fully crying now, "So withdrawn into herself that she had no will. That was the day I realized it for the first time. That was the day her life ended."

Sara had no response verbally, but she held Tegan tight. Assuring her that she'd never let her go.

"I'm sorry I doubted you." Tegan let her tears flow freely.

"I forgive you Tegan." Sara was glad she had come back, "It was a mistake anyone could make."

Tegan highly doubted that, but she just nodded her agreement, "Let's go back to sleep."


	34. Pleased To Meet You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tegan tries to get over what happened and Stacy comes over

Tegan woke up the next morning with a pounding headache. She squinted over at Sara. She didn't know what to think about yesterday's events. Her mind was too clouded to come to a final thought on the matter. Unlike most mornings Tegan got up without taking the time to study her sleeping girlfriend. She walked as softly as possible to the door and turned the handle slowly, trying to make no noise.

She walked slowly down the short hall and peered into the living room. Sonia was asleep on the inflatable mattress and Amanda was sitting on the couch, a cup of coffee in hand.

"Good morning Tegan," Tegan grunted in response, "Can we talk?" Amanda looked sad as she asked.

Tegan looked at her, taking her time before deciding whether or not she'd give Amanda a chance to explain herself, "Sure. Let me get some coffee first."

Tegan went to the kitchen to pour herself a cup of coffee. She took her time, wanting to make sure she was composed before hearing Amanda's explanation. She took a gulp of the scalding liquid before turning and making her way to the couch.

"Go ahead." Tegan said with as little emotion as possible, focusing on the mug in her hands.

"First off," Amanda spoke slowly, treading softly, "I'm terribly sorry for my actions." Tegan gave her a quick look out of the corner of her eye before looking back at her mug, "Secondly, I didn't actually kiss her. It's just that," Amanda was struggling for the right words to say, "I've never had anyone ever care for me like this. My friends back home all abandon me after they graduated college. And the girl that I was crushing on in college…" Amanda fought back a sob, "Well, you know what happened."

"Yes," Tegan spoke while keeping her eyes on her coffee, "I know. And I'm sorry your friends abandoned you. But that's no excuse."

Amanda let out a short sob, "I know. I'm so sorry. It's just, she was being so nice, and in the moment I just got a little lost. I wasn't thinking about anything other than her generosity. And in that moment my brain told me that people are only that nice if they like you. Do you understand that?"

Tegan nodded, deliberately avoiding eye contact.

"I can be out of here as soon as you need me to be," Amanda paused to take a sip of her coffee, "I don't deserve your hospitality."

Tegan sat silent. She had to process this; had to make a decision.

"I'll just zip up my suitcase." Amanda slowly started to get up.

"Don't," Tegan was surprised at what she said, "I know you didn't mean anything by it. I've been in a bad place the last few days. I've been having these," Tegan paused, not knowing why she was explaining herself, "Dreams. Bad ones. And I just assumed the worst when I saw you guys on the couch."

"So I can stay?" Amanda had tears running down her cheeks.

"Yes," Tegan gave her a pained smile, "There's just one thing."

Amanda nodded.

"I'd rather you not be alone in a room with Sara. Or on this couch together like yesterday."

"Of course," Amanda nodded her head weakly, "That's completely understandable."

"Good," Tegan's smile had a brief glimpse of joy, "And I have a friend who I want you to meet."

"Oh?" Amanda smiled shyly, "Is this because of…"

"No," Tegan cut her off, "It's for her. Not for you."

"Right," Amanda grimaced slightly, "I wouldn't expect you to do something for me."

"Then we're settled." Tegan held her hand out, "Let's try and start again now. I'm Tegan."

"Amanda." She smiled and shook Tegan's hand slowly.

"Pleased to meet you." Tegan tried to smile but quickly released her grip and went back to her coffee.

Sonia stirred. After a few seconds she sat up slowly and yawned.

"Good morning Sonia." Tegan smiled warmly at her.

"Good morning Tegan." Sonia grumbled groggily.

Sonia got out of bed slowly and walked to the kitchen, "Who made coffee?"

"Me." Amanda spoke up.

"Well thank you Amanda." Sonia smiled over at her.

"No problem." Amanda smiled weakly at her.

"I'm going to go see if Sara's up." Tegan excused herself, wanting to get a minute without Amanda.

She walked back to the bedroom and opened the door quietly, not wanting to wake Sara up. She smiled and looked at Sara who was still fast asleep. Tegan trailed her eyes up to Sara's face, taking in as much as she could. Not wanting to forget anything about it ever. She studied the perfect cheekbones. Studied the way her lips pouted in her sleep. The way her eyes fluttered every few seconds in her dream state. Tegan walked to the bed and sat down softly beside her. She brushed the bangs out of Sara's face. A brief smile made its way onto Sara's face before fading back to the slight pout. Tegan sighed and stood up.

"Good morning bella." She heard Sara's small groggy voice.

"Hi angel," Tegan sat back down and planted a kiss on Sara's forehead, "I've cleared things with Amanda. So I hope we can put yesterday behind us. And I'm going to call Stacy to see if she can hang out."

Sara sat up and stretched as she listened to Tegan, "Okay," She mumbled out before yawning, "I think we should hang out with Stacy, it will help yesterday go away."

"Hopefully." Tegan gritted her teeth as her headache hit her in full force, "There's coffee brewed."

"What time is it?" Sara asked as she walked toward the door.

Tegan looked at the alarm clock, "It's almost nine thirty."

"You should call Stacy soon." Sara smiled sleepily before walking out of the bedroom.

Tegan stood up and followed slowly, not wanting Sara out of her sight. She definitely didn't trust Amanda yet, even though she had gone through the motions of starting over.

Tegan didn't participate in any conversation that was being had in the living room and kitchen; she just kept her eyes on Sara. Not because she didn't trust her, but because she didn't want to look at Amanda. She studied every little thing Sara did; the way she pursed her lips when she listened to Sonia or Amanda talking. The subtle fidgeting her thumbs did while she held her coffee mug. And the sidelong glances at Tegan followed by small smiles.

After a while all conversation died down and Tegan pulled out her phone.

Her call was answered after several rings, "Hello?"

"Hey Stacy!" Tegan smiled as she spoke, her mind already jumping ahead to her matchmaking plans.

"What's up Tegan?" Stacy sounded tired, as if Tegan's call had woken her up.

"Not much," Tegan paused, "Did I wake you?"

"Yeah," Stacy yawned, "But that's okay."

"Okay," Tegan smiled in relief, "Do you want to come over and meet our friend?"

"Sure," Stacy yawned again, "Just give me some time to wake up."

"Okay, just text me when you're on your way."

"Mhm." Stacy mumbled into her phone before hanging up.

An hour later there was a knock on the door.

"I'll get it." Tegan jumped off the couch and hurried to the door.

She took a deep breath and opened it, "Hey Sta-," She froze mid name, "Ted?"

"Hey Sa-Tegan," Ted smiled and winked at her, "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure." Tegan shrugged and walked out into the hallway.

"Stacy called me this morning," Tegan's eyes widened, "Asked if I had met your friend yet."

"Oh," Tegan tried to remain calm, "She was supposed to meet Amanda yesterday."

"Yeah," Ted grinned, "You're trying to set them up together, right?"

"What?" Tegan tried to play it off innocently.

"I'm here to help." Ted smiled widely.

"Help?" Tegan cocked an eyebrow, "How can you help?"

"Do you plan on leaving them alone together?"

"Yeah," Tegan rolled her eyes, "Of course. Just for a few minutes."

"Have you talked to Sonia about it?" Tegan was confused by his line of questions.

"No," Tegan couldn't think of a reason to tell Sonia, "Why would she need to know?"

Ted chuckled, "So you'll leave the three of them alone?"

"Huh-oh!" Realization dawned on Tegan, "I don't know how I'll get her out of the apartment."

"Leave it to me." Ted winked and opened the door, "Hey Sonia."

"Hi Ted." Sonia waved from the kitchen.

"You ready to go?"

"Go where?" Sonia was completely lost as to what he was referring to.

"Tegan didn't tell you?" Ted mocked frustration and sighed, "I was going to take you shopping today."

"Shopping for what?" Sonia's eye sparkled but she remained just a little reserved.

"There's a big gala for my company in a few days, and I we figured you'd enjoy going and seeing all the fancy art and drinking champagne and talking to famous musicians," Ted smiled in relied as Sonia perked up, "But there's no way you have a nice enough dress with you. No offense."

"None taken," Her smile dropped slightly, "I don't really have the money for a dress."

"You're my guest at the gala," Ted smiled, "I'll buy you whatever dress and jewelry you want."

"When do we leave?" Sonia set her empty coffee cup in the sink.

"Whenever you're ready." Ted gave her a charming smile.

"I'll go grab my coat off the couch." Sonia walked quickly to the couch.

"Thanks Ted," Tegan gave him a hug, "Do you really have a gala?"

"Yeah," Ted gave her a small smile, "It's for some artist who's in town. She invited me and a lot of my clients."

"Jesus Ted," Tegan rolled her eyes, "Can you be more of an upper-class snob?"

"Yes." Ted chuckled as Sonia walked through the door.

"Ready?" Sonia asked as she pulled her jacket on.

"Right this way ma'am." Ted held out his arm and Sonia slid her arm around his.

"Lead the way."

Tegan chuckled to herself as she walked back into the apartment.

"What was all that about?" Sara questioned, eyeing Tegan intently.

"Ted has a gala," Tegan shrugged, "Did I not mention it before?"

"No." Sara was just as confused as Sonia had been.

"Must have slipped my mind," Tegan shrugged, "I had a lot of alcohol yesterday."

Sara grimaced at the mention of the day before.

"It's okay Sara," Tegan rushed to sit next to her, "It's nobody's fault but my own. I overreacted."

"I still feel guilty." Sara tucked her head into Tegan's shoulder.

They sat like that for a few minutes until the bathroom door opened and Amanda came out of the shower.

"You look really good," Tegan smiled at Amanda, "I didn't know your hair was so wavy."

"Th-thanks," Amanda stuttered out, not expecting a compliment from Tegan, "Is your friend still not here?"

"Nope," Tegan shook her head, "And Ted picked Sonia up. So it's just us until Stacy gets here."

"Where did Ted and Sonia go?" Amanda was just another to join the ranks of confusion.

"Dress shopping," Tegan answered nonchalantly, "They're going to a gala in a few days."

"Oh," Amanda's eyebrows rose in shock but her face remained casual, "That's cool."

"Yep." Tegan grinned at her.

The three sat and made small talk as best as possible until there was another knock on the door. Tegan jumped up and walked over to the door, opening it with a smile.

"Hi Stacy," Stacy walked in and the two of them hugged, "This is Amanda." Tegan gestured to the girl on the couch.

"Hey Amanda," Stacy gave her a smile and small wave, "I'm Stacy."

"Pleased to meet you." Amanda met her smile.

"Come on in," Tegan stepped out of her way to allow entrance, "Do you want some coffee?"

"Sure," Stacy nodded, "I'd love some."

"One coffee coming right up." Tegan moved into the kitchen.

Stacy and Sara exchanged hellos and hugs.

"Sara can you come help me with this?" Tegan called from the kitchen area.

"It's just a cup of coffee," Sara responded exasperated, "Pour the coffee into a mug."

"Very funny." Tegan rolled her eyes.

"Okay," Sara got up from her spot on the couch, "I'll come help you."

She rolled her eyes as she walked into the small kitchen.

"What do you need help with?"

"In about fifteen minutes we will need an excuse to leave." Tegan spoke in an urgent whisper.

"Why?" Sara whispered back, "Can't you match make from the apartment?"

Tegan just looked at her, "They need to be alone Sara," She rolled her eyes, "Any emergency you can think of that can come up in fifteen minutes?"

"No," Sara laughed as Tegan tried to pour an empty pot of coffee into a mug, "But we can always pretend we're completely out of coffee and leave now."

"Good idea." Tegan grinned.

They exchanged a look before walking back into the living room where their guest were sitting next to each other talking about some band.

"We're out of coffee." Tegan gave Stacy a sad look.

"We're going to buy more though, don't worry." Sara smiled warmly.

"It's okay," Stacy smiled back at her, "Don't go to any trouble for me."

"It's no trouble." Sara continued to smile.

"Yeah," Tegan smiled briefly, "We'll be gone for maybe twenty minutes."

"You're both going?" Amanda raised an eyebrow.

"Um…" Tegan mumbled something unintelligent.

"Yeah," Sara stayed calm, "My car is at the shop and I don't feel comfortable driving Tegan's."

"And I don't ever buy the right stuff," Tegan picked up on the lie, "So Sara needs to be there to find the right coffee."

"Yup." Sara grinned at Tegan.

"Okay," Stacy nodded, processing the lie she was told, "We'll see you guys soon then."

"Okay," Tegan pulled Sara toward the door, "See you guys."

They hastily left the apartment and got into Tegan's car.

"Where are we actually gonna go?" Sara asked, knowing that they had almost a full pound bag of coffee in the cupboard.

"We're going to the store and buying coffee," Tegan grinned at her, "We'd look pretty stupid if we said we'd buy coffee and then came home empty handed and made a pot of coffee with the grounds in the cupboard."

"Oh." Sara blushed, "Right."

Tegan drove them to a grocery store a few minutes from their apartment.

"Let's go buy some coffee." Sara smiled and stepped out of the car.

"I don't know where it is," Tegan shrugged as she walked toward the main doors, "You'll have to find it."

They walked inside the store and Sara immediately walked off to her right and appeared moments later with a bad of coffee beans.

"Did you grind it?" Tegan wanted to take as much time as possible.

"They don't do that here," Sara shook her head, "I have a little grinder at home."

"Oh." Tegan looked at her feet.

"What else do we need?" Sara asked after quickly checking the time on her phone.

"I don't know," Tegan smiled, "But we should walk around the whole store and see what we might need."

"Sounds like a good plan to me." Sara grinned and grabbed Tegan's hand, intertwining their fingers together.

They walked around the store for several minutes before making their way back to the front.

"Oh my god!" Tegan exclaimed while pointing at several shelves of candy.

"What?" Sara whipped around and followed Tegan's finger to the candy, "Really? You want candy?"

"They have Swedish fish," Tegan whined at Sara, "And Twix. And Kit Kats."

"Fine," Sara rolled her eyes, "I haven't bought candy in years."

"Well today that changes." Tegan grinned as she grabbed several things off the shelves.

"Okay," Sara smiled at Tegan's childlike enthusiasm over the candy, "Let's go pay for this stuff."

They walked to the checkout stand and placed the items on the conveyer belt.

"Looks like a party." The man behind the register smiled at them.

"It looks that way doesn't it?" Sara laughed softly, "I just found out that I'm apparently dating a six year old."

Tegan grinned and blushed slightly.

"Good choices." The man smiled at Tegan, "That'll be twenty-two fifty seven."

Sara pulled out her wallet and grabbed some cash, "That should be twenty-three."

The man quickly thumbed through it, "You gave me twenty-four." He handed a one dollar bill back.

"Thanks," Sara smiled, "Keep the change."

"Alright," He closed the register, "Do you need a receipt?"

"Nah," Sara waved him off, "I'm good. Have a good day." She smiled and picked up the bag of purchases.

"You too," He waved and gave them a friendly smile, "Don't get to much of a sugar high young lady."

Tegan laughed, "I won't."

"I like that guy," Sara spoke as they got in the car, "I should start shopping here."

"I always shop here," Tegan grinned, "He's the manager."

"He knows you?" Sara laughed.

"Yup," Tegan laughed with her, "I always buy candy when I come here. Just usually not that much."

"How do you know everybody?" Sara shook her head and chuckled.

"When you have no friends you make everyone you see your friend." Tegan spoke in a much more sobered tone.

They drove back to the apartment in silence. Sara grabbed the grocery bag and lead Tegan by the hand to the apartment.

"We got coffee." Tegan announced as she walked in behind Sara.

They were greeted by Stacy and Amanda sitting very comfortably close to each other. Stacy was lightly tracing circles on Amanda's forearm as she told her about working at the café. Amanda sat and listen intently; studying the way Stacy talked. Both of them turned as Tegan spoke.

"Oh!" Stacy looked shock and moved a little bit away from Amanda, retracting her hand as she did so.

"Hey guys." Amanda greeted them sheepishly.

"Coffee." Sara held up the bag and grinned, "We'll go brew up a pot. As you were."

Tegan giggled after she had her back to the living room, "That worked better than expected."

"Yeah," Sara grinned in response, "I hope we get invited to their wedding."

"We better," Tegan smiled and winked, "We're the reason they're together."

"They aren't together yet." Sara laughed and shook her head.

"They're together." Tegan glanced over her shoulder, "They're making out!" Tegan whispered harshly in Sara's ear.

Sara whipped around in shock, only to find Stacy and Amanda sitting a foot apart from each other talking.

"You believed me?" Tegan started laughing.

"You asshole." Sara shook her head.

"You actually thought they'd make out forty minutes after meeting?" Tegan grinned and Sara punched her lightly in the shoulder.

"I thought you'd tell me the truth." Sara glared while failing to hold back a smile.

They watched as their friends continued to talk, lost in their own little world on the couch. When the coffee finished brewing Sara poured two cups and carried them to the people in the living room.

"Here's the coffee." Sara smiled warmly and held out the mugs.

"Thanks." They responded in unison, both reaching out and grabbing a mug out of Sara's hands.

They sat and talked together for almost two hours. Tegan and Sara made themselves scarce and spent a lot of time in the bedroom or kitchen.

Stacy finally got up off the couch and announced that she needed to go.

"Thanks for coming over." Tegan pulled her in for a hug.

"Thanks for inviting me," Stacy squeezed her hard and added in a whisper, "I like Amanda. She's really nice."

"I know." Tegan grinned as she reveled in the fact that her matchmaking worked.

"I'll see you guys around," Stacy waved at the other two girls, "I'll call you later Amanda."

"I'll be looking forward to it." Amanda grinned.

"It was a pleasure to meet you." Stacy gave them all one last smile and wave before walking out the door.

After a few seconds of silence Amanda spoke up with a smile, "She's incredible!"

"Yeah?" Tegan responded nonchalantly.

"Yeah," Amanda spoke almost dreamily, "She's the nicest person I've ever met."

Tegan and Sara sat together on the couch and listened to Amanda talk about Stacy for several minutes. The entire time Tegan was glad that Amanda would definitely not pursuing Sara. Plus, Stacy seemed interested, which meant that she would hopefully be happy. And making people happy always made Tegan happy.


	35. Gabriel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel

"Come on Tegan," Sara shook Tegan's arm lightly, "You're tired. Let's go to bed."

Tegan jerked her head up and looked around, "Did you say something?"

"You need to get some sleep." Sara smiled at her and stood up from the couch. Amanda was on the couch as well, but per Tegan's request was keeping her distance. The TV was on and a show Tegan didn't recognize was playing.

"Yeah," She nodded in agreement, "Are you coming to bed too?" She gave Sara tired puppy dog eyes.

"Of course!" Sara smiled and grabbed her by the hand, helping to hoist her off the couch.

"Good," Tegan grinned sleepily, "I don't want to sleep alone."

"Nobody does." Sara began to lead her to the bedroom.

"Goodnight guys." Amanda called out to them as Sara turned the handle.

"Goodnight Amanda." Sara called back before the two of them disappeared into the room.

Tegan sighed and walked toward the bed, just wanting to get back to sleep. She saw movement out of the corner of her eye and froze in panic.

"Tegan what's wrong?" Sara spoke softly, strangely, as if she were far away.

"He's here." Tegan panicked as Gabriel stepped out of the shadows, "You said he hung himself. You lied to me!"

"Why would I have hung myself?" He gave Tegan a wicked grin as he spoke in a too sweet tone, "I have too much potential for that. For instance." He pushed Tegan hard and she hit the corner of the bedpost. The pain felt blurry and surreal.

"Sara!" Tegan called out but Sara must have left the room to call the police.

"She's gone Tegan," Gabriel stood menacingly as he undid his belt, sliding it through the loops and wielding it like a whip, "Your little girlfriend abandoned you. Just like your mum."

She heard the belt crack and the buckle crashed into the bedpost, narrowly missing her shoulder.

"I'm out of practice." He had a sound of disappointment that a sport star or hunter has on the first day of the season.

"Please don't!" Tegan cried out to him, tears running down her cheeks, "Just leave me alone."

"You know you can't function without me in your life," Gabriel's voice turned sour, "I won't let you forget me."

"Please." Tegan's voice was muffled in the crook of her arm and masked by sobs.

"Since you asked so nicely." Tegan opened her eyes and looked at him. He put his belt down and she sighed in relief. Next thing she knew there was a stinging sensation on her cheek.

"Fuck!" She screamed in shock at the sudden impact.

"You believed me?" He laughed. She hated that laugh, it was too gentle for him. Gabriel calmed down to a chuckle and spoke again, "This is why I'm still here Tegan. To teach you that people aren't trustworthy!" He spoke with emphasis as he spat in her face and kicked at her unprotected shins.

"Stop hitting her!" Sara had come to her rescue.

Gabriel stood up straight. At over six feet tall he towered over the small form of Sara.

"What?" His grin mocked her defiance.

"Stop hitting her." Sara spoke emphatically, as if he would be intimidated by her.

"As you wish." He gave her a short, mock, bow. And then Tegan leapt out of her curled up state as he struck Sara hard in the face. Before she could do anything to prevent him hurting her further he gave her a backhand that sent her straight to the ground.

"I said to stop." Sara stood up slowly, defiance etched on her face. Tegan cried out soundlessly as she choked on her tears. She didn't want to see Sara go through the same pain her mother did.

Gabriel stared Sara down and grabbed her shoulders, slowly lifting her off the ground in a display of strength. Sara took advantage of the position and kicked him hard in the stomach. But instead of doubling over he boiled over. Tegan could have sworn steam came out of his ears as his face went red with anger.

Sara had no time to react. Before she or Tegan could even speak Gabriel through Sara at the wall.

Why did she have to be so light? Why couldn't he have just thrown her to the ground? Tegan's mind whirred as she looked at her girlfriend, crumpled motionless on the floor, a dent in the wall above her marking the force of the throw.

"You're a monster!" Tegan spat at him as she fought against the bile that was rising to the back of her throat.

"No," Gabriel shook his head slowly, "I'm just putting useless women in their place. It's always been my job Tegan." He picked the belt back up and flicked it at her back, causing sharp pain to erupt over her body.

He sent a well-aimed kick her way, the tip of his work boot finding her jaw. Tegan knew it had to have shattered. But numbness had taken over. Resignation.

"You're so much like your mother," Gabriel paced around her for a few seconds, "You never do anything right and you're too much of a pussy to stand up to anything."

Tegan raised her broken head and saw that his back was turned. She raised herself slowly, gripping the edge of the bed and hoisting herself to a standing position. His back was still to her. He was watching Sara intently. Tegan looked around quickly and a lamp caught her eye. She reached out to her right and slowly dragged her feet over to the bedside table and grabbed hold of the lamp. Watching Gabriel carefully she unplugged the lamp and lifted it like a baseball bat. As quietly as possible she crept forward.

This was her David verse Goliath, her three hundred Spartans against his vast Persian army. She took the lampshade off and set it down quietly. This was her chance. She took her aim and swung.

Gabriel stumbled out of shock and Tegan hit him again. He turned to take a swing of his own but Tegan jabbed the lamp at him, he doubled over as the metal tip dug into his ribs. She lifted the lamp above her head and smashed it over his head. The bulb shattered and glass flew everywhere. The force of the blow bent the lamp out of shape. But Gabriel was down to one knee, both hands over his head.

"FUCK YOU GABRIEL!" Tegan shouted and slammed the lamp down one more time.

"Tegan," Sara shook Tegan's shoulder as she mumbled and whimpered in her dream, "Bella wake up. You're having a bad dream." Tegan shot up, startling the two girls on the couch.

"FUCK YOU GABRIEL!" She shouted, eyes still closed.

"Oh god!" Sara's face was covered in panic, "Not again. Tegan wake up." She redoubled her efforts. Tegan continued to squirm and murmur in her sleep. Sara wrapped her arms firmly around her and planted a kiss on her forehead.

Tegan's eyes shot open, "It was just a dream. You're still here. He didn't break your body."

"No Tegan," Sara squeezed her tighter, afraid to let go, "He can't do that, remember?"

"I beat him Sara." Tegan smiled widely at her girlfriend.

"You what?" Tegan had never smiled so easily after dreaming about him.

"He told me I never stood up to anyone," Tegan was still shaking from the dream, "So I got up and beat him. I think I might have gotten rid of him!"

Sara sobbed into Tegan's shoulder as she held her on the couch, "I'm so proud of you Tegan. You're the strongest woman I know. You keep fighting. Keep him out."

"I think I can do that." Tegan rubbed Sara's back as she continued to smile at the thought of finally controlling a nightmare, "Let's go to bed Sara. I want to sleep. I won't dream of him tonight. All I want to do is sleep and not have the threat of him there."

"Okay," Sara nodded and loosened her grip so they could stand, "Let's go to bed then."

They said good night to Amanda and walked into the bedroom. Tegan checked the dark corners. No suspicious shadows. No Gabriel.

Tegan slept peacefully knowing he wouldn't come back again. Knowing she was past the darkest point in her life.

She woke up in the morning feeling refreshed. She stretched and smiled before turning to admire her girlfriend. She took in all of the beautiful features; the arms that were intricately designed with tattoos and the soft silk like skin, her hair so perfectly messy in its state of sleep.

Sara rolled onto her back and let out a small sigh.

Tegan watched her with the same admiration from this new angle. She watched the way Sara's breast rose and fell with every breath. Butterflies found their way into her stomach as she watched Sara's nose twitch from some event in a dream. And her heart melted like wax when Sara's lips curled into a smile just seconds before her eyes opened.

"Good morning bella." Sara mumbled sleepily.

"HI angel." Tegan immediately captured her lips in a sweet good morning kiss.

"Do you want to take a shower?" Sara asked, eyes barely open, hooded with sleep.

"Of course." Tegan couldn't remember ever being this happy. True happiness was never a part of her life growing up. It was just something they pretended they had.

They walked to the bathroom together. Tegan helped Sara out of her boxers and t shirt that she had slept in, leaving her kissed on her shoulders as soon as the shirt was off.

"Please don't ever fly back to heaven," Tegan held her around the waste in the shower, "I wouldn't be able to function without my guardian angel here."

"I will never fly away Tegan," Sara leaned back to give Tegan a kiss on the cheek, "I will go with you wherever you are."

"Thank you." Tegan felt tears run down her cheek. The love that she felt was expressing itself the only way she ever knew how to express any emotion, "I love you Sara. So much."

"I love you too Tegan," Sara turned around in Tegan's arms and planted a sweet kiss on the waiting lips, "Don't ever forget that."


	36. Triple Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tegan and sara go to the bar with their friends as a "triple date"

Tegan stepped out of the shower holding Sara's hand in her own. She loved the feeling of having her fingers intertwined with her girlfriends. It sent love and warmth through her body. It made her feel like she wasn't alone anymore. And she wasn't. Life was getting better, but she still had her obstacles to climb and fog to find her way through. Tegan looked over her shoulder at her girlfriend. Sara's body was perfect. It was dripping from the shower and she looked flawless.

Sara looked up as she reached for a towel, "What are you thinking about?"

Tegan swallowed licked her lips, "Us. Mostly you." She smiled and Sara blushed.

"I love you." Sara spoke as she kissed Tegan on the cheek.

"I love you too." Tegan grinned widely, revealing her gums.

"You look so beautiful when you're happy," Sara released her hold on Tegan's hand so she could dry herself off with the towel, "I'm the luckiest woman on earth."

Tegan watched as Sara dried herself off, "That's not true. You're an Angel. That makes me the luckiest woman. There's nothing better than dating an Angel."

Sara looked up at her girlfriend and saw the moisture in her eyes, "Even Angel's need someone as strong as you to support them."

Tegan didn't know how long she spent crying from happiness and relief in Sara's arms. Her only way to gauge the length of time was by how dry her skin was from being in the open air. All she knew was that it wasn't going to take much towel work to dry off completely.

"Come on," Sara rubbed her back softly, "Let's get dressed and say good morning."

Tegan nodded and dried off quickly and put on her clothes. She followed Sara out of the bathroom and down the short hallway.

"Good morning girls." Sonia smiled from the kitchen as she buttered a piece of toast.

"Hi mum." Sara smiled and pulled Tegan with her to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee.

"You guys were in there for a while." Tegan turned toward the couch and saw Emy with a giant grin on her face.

"Emy!" Tegan released Sara's hand and ran to hug her friend, "What are you doing here?"

"Lindsey works until five," Emy shrugged and continued to smile, "This place is better than home alone."

"I'm glad you're here." Tegan smiled, her happiness back to what it was.

"And it was nice to talk to Sonia and Amanda for a while." She smiled at the afore mentioned women.

"It was nice talking to you too." Amanda returned her smile.

"Of course it was!" Emy had her usual natural confidence and cheer about her.

"Your ego is too big." Tegan joked with her friend with ease.

"It comes with being this smart," Emy grinned ear to ear, "And hot."

"I can't argue that." Tegan flirted as she scanned Emy from head to toe.

"I'm taken Tegan." Emy pretended to scold her.

"Too bad." Tegan shrugged and then laughed, Emy joining her seconds later.

"You guys are strange." Sara shook her head as she stood in the kitchen holding onto her coffee mug for dear life.

"We're okay with that." Emy chuckled.

"Do you want to do anything today?" Tegan asked after getting her composure back, "Or did you want to be stuck in here with the four of us until Lindsey gets off."

"I was unaware that that's what she was doing," Emy winked and Tegan rolled her eyes, "I was thinking I'd just hang out. Maybe we could all go to Mia's for lunch?"

"Sounds good to me," Tegan smiled and turned to the two women in the kitchen, "Mia's for lunch?"

"Definitely." Sara smiled and winked at Tegan.

Sonia just nodded and took a bite of her toast.

"What's Mia's?" Tegan was surprised, usually Stacy told everybody about the café.

"It's a little café that we all love." Tegan left Stacy out of it. It would be better as a surprise.

"Sounds good then." Amanda agreed with the rest of the room.

"You'll love it," Emy smiled and Tegan hoped she wouldn't mention Stacy, "We mostly go for the cute waitress. She's really cool." Tegan shot her a look telling her not to continue.

"That's cool." Amanda gave Emy a small smile.

"Yeah, S-" Sonia never finished her thought.

"Oh my god!" Sara screamed as she sent her coffee all over the counter, "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," Sonia smiled and waved off her concern, "You didn't get any on me, honey. I'll grab some paper towels."

Tegan could see Sara say something to Sonia in a hushed tone as they grabbed the paper towels, and a slight nod from Sonia told Tegan that Sara had explained the unspoken plan. She was glad that Sara had somehow read her mind.

"I was thinking we'd go there at like eleven-thirty," Emy brought Tegan back to the living room, "It's usually not very busy then and the cute waitress start at eleven."

"Sounds great." Tegan smiled at her friend and gave her a look of gratitude.

They passed the next hour by making small talk.

Emy took Amanda in her car and the other three piled into Sara's sedan.

Sara pulled out of the parking lot just before Emy. They all unloaded from the cars and walked to the door.

"Man I'm glad we're here," Emy patted her stomach as she walked up, "I'm starving."

"Then we came to the right place," Tegan smiled at her, "They have food here."

Emy smiled and shook her head, "You're such a dork."

"She's my dork though." Sara hugged Tegan and smiled at her.

"Hey guys, it's good to see you again." Stacy greeted them as they all made their way inside.

"Stacy?" Amanda was the last to walk inside.

"Hey Amanda," Stacy smiled and her cheeks filled with a slight red coloring, "It's nice to see you."

"Likewise." Amanda grinned cockily as Stacy lead them to and empty table.

"Here's your menus," Stacy spoke as they all took their spots at the table just big enough for the five of them, "Any drinks today?"

"Coffee please." Sara smiled and Tegan shook her head.

"I'd like an iced tea." Sonia, who was sitting to Sara's left, was the next to speak.

"I'll take a root beer." Emy grinned as she ordered.

"Just water." Amanda took a break from studying Stacy intricately to order her drink.

"I guess I'm the odd one out," Tegan smiled and then turned to Stacy, "I'd like whiskey and coke."

"You always want that." Stacy rolled her eyes as she finished writing down their drink orders.

Stacy walked back to the kitchen to collect their drinks.

"She didn't tell me she was a waitress." Amanda smiled as her eyes lingered on the now closed door between her and Stacy.

"She's worked here for years," Amanda turned her focus to Tegan as she spoke, "The owner of this place was my mom's godfather. He named it after her when she was a kid. Anyway, I met Stacy at a coffee shop while she was at college and looking for a job. I told her to apply here and then I called my Nonno and asked him to contact his friend for me."

"That's awesome," Amanda smiled, not knowing any of the pain Tegan had as she spoke about her mom, "It's nice that you helped out a stranger."

"It's even nicer that she's my friend now." Tegan smiled back and then sat up straight as Stacy walked up with a tray of drinks.

"Here you are," Stacy quickly handed out the drinks, "Just flag me down when you're ready to order."

"Thank you Stacy." Tegan smiled up at her. Stacy smiled back before walking away to help on of the few other customers.

"This place was named after your mom?" Sara's own emotions were hurting and she didn't even know Tegan's mom.

"Yeah," Tegan smiled weakly, "We used to come here every time we were in Vancouver. Luckily Gabriel never did. It's one of the few places that was left sacred."

"I'm glad of that." Sara rubbed Tegan's back gently as Tegan struggled to hold back her tears.

"It's okay to cry," Sonia spoke in a low, gentle tone, "Sometimes it's exactly what you need. So if you feel like you need to, go ahead."

Tegan didn't think about it again, she just let the tears fall down her cheeks.

"Just let it out Tegan." Sara spoke soothingly into her ear while continuing to rub her back.

After Tegan finished crying she sat up straight again and wiped her eyes, "Sorry guys."

"No need to apologize," Emy gave her a warm smile, "Everyone cries."

"Thanks Emy." Tegan returned the smile as best she could.

"Is everyone ready to order?" Stacy asked as she walked up to their table.

They ate their lunches and talked for close to an hour before deciding to leave.

"We should go to The Hap tonight." Tegan suggested as they stood up from the table.

"Yeah!" Emy smiled and nodded, "Last time was fun."

"You'll love it Amanda," Sara smiled at their new friend, "Ted's the owner."

"Okay," Amanda jumped on board with it, "Sounds good then."

"Stacy!" Tegan called out to Stacy who was across the small restaurant, "We're going out tonight! Wanna come?"

"Sure!" Stacy responded before waving goodbye.

"See you there!" Tegan shouted back as she waved, walking out the door.

"What do you guys want to do now?" Emy spoke up as soon as the door closed behind them.

"We could always go shopping or walk around downtown." Sara shrugged through her own suggestion.

"Yeah!" Sara was surprised at Tegan's enthusiasm, "Let's go to Casual Classics. I haven't seen Johnny in a while."

"I love Johnny!" Emy smiled and added, "What's he been up to?"

"He's the manager of a clothing store." Tegan smiled, she knew Johnny enjoyed his job, but it wasn't what he wanted to be doing for his life.

"Did he give up his dreams of being a famous drummer?" Emy's smile faded slightly as she asked the question.

"He's a drummer?" Sara perked up and turned her whole focus to the conversation.

"Yeah," Tegan nodded, "Why?"

"We don't have a drummer for tour Tegan." Sara spoke as if the correlation should have been made already.

"Oh my god!" Emy's smile returned, "You should have him be your drummer Tegan!"

"I'll talk to him about it," Tegan agreed with the idea, "But I do want to buy some clothes."

They all got back into the two vehicles and Tegan gave Sara directions to the small clothing shop. Emy pulled into a spot right next to them and cut the engine.

"Do you shop here too Emy?" Sara raised an eyebrow, it didn't seem like somewhere Emy would shop.

"I buy things for Lindsey here," Emy shrugged, "She likes wearing plaid and button ups and shit like that."

"Okay," Sara chuckled, "I couldn't really picture you buying your clothes here."

The group walked into the store and Johnny immediately stood up from behind the counter and came to say hi.

"Hey Tegan," He pulled her in for a hug, "It's been a while."

"Yeah," Tegan smiled as he released her from his hug, "We were in Seattle recording for the last couple months."

"I thought you recorded most of your stuff at home?" Johnny had obviously not been in the loop and Tegan felt a pang of guilt.

"I joined forces with Sara," She motioned to her girlfriend who was standing close behind her, "And we got signed by Chris Walla."

"What?" Johnny was shocked, Chris Walla was a bit of a hero in their small circle of friends, "The Chris Walla? From Death Cab?"

Tegan bit her lip and nodded.

"That's awesome!" Johnny pulled her in for another, bigger hug.

"And that brings me to a proposal I have for you." Tegan spoke again after he pulled away from the hug.

"Okay, what is it?" Johnny smiled through the whole thing. He was so happy for his friend that he didn't see her question coming.

"Do you still play drums? Because we don't have a drummer for tour." Tegan tried to hide her own excitement that she got from helping her friend continue his dream.

"I still play," His smile was gone and replaced with a look of shock, "And I'd love to play with you guys."

"We have a band now!" Sara clapped her hands gleefully.

"Yeah," Tegan smiled in agreement, "Now let's get to shopping and leave Johnny with his thoughts."

"Everything's half off for you Tegan." Johnny smiled widely, the excitement of what he agreed to finally hitting him.

"You don't have to, Johnny." Tegan shook her head at him.

"I want to." Johnny shook his head right back at her, "It's not an obligation. It's a thank you."

"Thanks." Tegan smiled at him and then turned to start her shopping.

"What are you looking for?" Sara asked as she followed her girlfriend closely.

"A tie," Sara's eyes lit up, "I need more than just the black one."

They walked up to the small section of ties and Tegan looked at each of them in turn, trying to decide which one was best.

"What do you think?" She held up a dark blue tie and bright red tie.

"The red one," Sara pointed at as she spoke, "It will look good with any of your dark button ups."

"That's what I was thinking too," Tegan quickly walked up to the counter while the other three with them looked around the small store, "I'm ready to make my purchase."

Johnny smiled and grabbed the tie, quickly scanning it, "This is all?"

"Yeah."

They made the exchange of money for tie and Tegan turned to the others in the shop.

"You guys gonna buy anything?"

"I'm good." Emy smiled and shook her head.

Amanda walked up to the counter holding a cute pink plaid button up.

"That's a cute shirt." Sara smiled warmly at her.

"Thanks," Amanda smiled her appreciation, "That's why I'm buying it."

They finished in the store and drove back to the apartment.

Tegan wasted no time, as soon as they were inside she turned to Amanda, "Are you gonna wear your new shirt tonight?"

Amanda nodded shyly.

"Awesome," Tegan smiled warmly, "Stacy will love it."

"Hopefully." Amanda smiled brilliantly as she blushed a pinkish hue.

"You're wearing your tie right?" Sara eyed Tegan as she questioned her.

"Of course," Tegan flashed her a gummy smile, "But only if you wear heels."

"You guys make me sick." Emy mocked puking, "I don't want to know what kind of weird pleasure you take from wearing ties and heels."

"Would it be better if I dressed as a maid?" Tegan quipped at her.

Emy blushed deep red, "I don't know where you heard that."

"On the fucking phone Emy!" Tegan rolled her eyes, "You talk too loud."

"Don't let Lindsey know that you know," Emy begged her, "She'll kill me."

"Deal." Tegan grinned in victory.

Tegan and Sara went back to their bedroom to get dressed for the evening. Tegan wore dark skinnies, a black button up and her red tie.

Sara kept it simple with black skinny jeans and a tight fitting t shirt.

"God I love you in heels." Tegan grinned as Sara looked at herself in the mirror.

"It's not as good as you in a tie," Sara smiled at her through the mirror, "You look like such a gentleman in a tie. A hot one."

Tegan blushed and looked at her feet, "How do you manage to make me feel like this every day?"

"Because we love each other." Sara spoke softly with a twinkle in her eye.

"That's true," Tegan smiled at her again, "I do love you angel."

"Te amo bella." Sara's response made Tegan smile wider.

After hanging out for a while longer Emy went to go meet Lindsey at work so they could go home and get ready for that night.

"You guys ready to go and party?" Sonia asked after Tegan said that the bar opened in ten minutes.

"Always." Tegan laughed as she answered.

"Yup," Sara nodded in agreement, "We're totally party animals."

Sonia chuckled, "You'll have to be to fit in with all the other rock stars out there."

"We're far from being rock stars." Tegan laughed it off, "We're just a couple of singers. That's all."

"A couple of good singers." Sonia countered.

"Enough chit chat," Sara shook her head at her mom's compliment, "Let's go get drunk."

They quickly exited the apartment and made the short drive to The Hap. They arrived less then fifteen minutes after opening and the place was already pretty busy.

"Hey Ted!" Tegan called out as she walked through the door.

"Hey," Ted smiled and waved, "Stacy's already here and saved you a booth. Same one as last time."

"Thanks Ted." Tegan spoke as she began to lead the small group to Stacy's booth.

"Hey guys!" Stacy called out as they approached.

"Hey Stace." Tegan walked up and gave her a hug.

"I figured we could pull up a chair for Sonia," Tegan hadn't really thought about how small the booth really was, "Or Amanda, and then sit three to a side."

"Sounds good to me," Sonia smiled, "I can take the chair if you want, Amanda."

"I'm fine with whatever." Amanda smiled cheerily without taking her eyes off of Stacy.

"I'll go order us some drink, you guys get cozy." Stacy walked away from the booth and up to the bar.

Tegan scooted in to the wall on one side of the booth and Sara followed suit. Amanda sat on the other side, on the end, so that when Emy and Lindsey arrived they could sit on the inside and she could still be across from Stacy.

"Oh look," Sara pointed to the door, "Emy!"

Emy turned as she heard her name called out. When she saw her friends she smiled and waved before leading Lindsey over to the booth. Amanda stood up and they scooted in towards the wall.

"Hey guys." Lindsey greeted the part of the group that was at the table, "Emy told me you guys all went out for lunch and went shopping."

"Yeah," Tegan smiled at her and she noticed a faint blush in Lindsey's cheeks, she obviously wasn't over her crush, "We talked to Johnny and he agreed to be our tour drummer."

"That's awesome!" Lindsey smiled wide, happy for their friend, "I forgot he used to talk about his drums all the time."

"He brought his sticks everywhere!" Tegan laughed, "He used to drum on my counter whenever I had him over."

"He used to drum on the bar whenever we went out for drinks!" Emy added with a laugh, "Now he finally gets to play on a drum set professionally."

"That's a step up from drums in the basement and counters." Lindsey chuckled, "It always took him so long to answer his door because he would never hear the bell, a knock, or even his phone ring."

Stacy walked up just as Lindsey finished talking, "I saw you guys walk in and ordered your usual's." Stacy handed them all their drinks just like she had at lunch.

"Thanks Stace!" Emy grinned widely and grabbed for her drink.

"No problem." Stacy smiled and sat down next to Sara.

"Do we have to tip you like we did at lunch?" Emy joked from her spot in the corner.

"You can if you want." Stacy joked right back, drawing a few chuckles from around their table.

"Fine then," Emy smiled at her, a joke obviously brewing inside her, "Always look both ways before crossing the street."

"God Emy," Tegan groaned, "That was horrible. You shouldn't tell jokes."

"You know you love it." Emy grinned at all the groaning people and shaking heads.

"Let's get drunk fast," Amanda spoke up, "Or this is going to be one painful night."

"By the way I'm Lindsey." Lindsey turned her attention to the girl next to her that she had already forgotten was there until he had spoken up.

"Amanda." Amanda smiled at her, "It's nice to meet you."

"Pleasure's all mine." Lindsey smiled pleasantly.

"Stop flirting in front of me." Emy teased her girlfriend.

"Fine." Lindsey spoke in mock exasperation.

"So," Stacy jumped back into the conversation, "How was work today?"

Lindsey turned her attention to her, "It was fine. Not too many irritating customers. You?"

"It was all good until this loud group of four lesbians and a mom came in." Emy and Tegan laughed and Sara just shook her head.

"They're the worst aren't they?" Lindsey winked at her.

"Totally," Stacy rolled her eyes as if she were irritated, "They were pretty cute though. So them being loud wasn't too bad."

"Yeah," Emy smirked, "I am pretty cute."

"Not you Emy." Stacy sent her a mock glare, "I was referring mostly to Sonia."

Sonia smiled, "Thank you."

Sara groaned, "That's my mom."

"She's a cute mom though." Stacy shrugged and Sara buried her head in Tegan's shoulder.

"It's true." Lindsey gave Sonia a smile and a wink.

"So much love tonight." Sonia grinned at the affection being shown her, "You guys are too nice."

"It's our biggest downfall really." Emy nodded her head solemnly.

"Not yours." Tegan teased her friend, "Yours is your terrible jokes and dirty comments."

"I can't argue that." Emy let out a chuckle.

Right as the conversation died down Arctic Monkeys came over the speakers.

"Let's dance." Sara smiled at Tegan.

"Definitely," Tegan nodded, "Stace we need to go dance, can you get up real quick."

"Sure." Stacy stood up and they scooted out, their actions mirrored by Emy and Lidnsey.

Tegan danced close to Sara. Her were hands roaming and her mouth was occasionally finding the skin of her partner. She was lost in her girlfriend. In her mind they were alone at the bar, just dancing to the music that was pounding through.

"Do I wanna know?" Tegan sang softly, her mouth centimeters from Sara's right ear.

"If this feeling goes both ways." Sara joined her in singing before turning to plant a kiss on the corner of Tegan's mouth.

They continued to dance through the whole song, bodies brushing against each other as hands and eyes roamed. When the song finished they shared a kiss before turning to walk back to their table, hand in hand.

They stopped a few feet short. Amanda and Stacy were alone in the booth. Amanda had moved over to Stacy's side and they were currently in a battle of tongues. Tegan craned her neck in a search for Sonia. She was at the bar ordering another drink. Emy and Lindsey were just leaving the small dance area.

"Holy shit!" Emy's jaw dropped as she stopped next to Tegan, "Are they doing what it looks like they're doing?"

"Obviously," Tegan rolled her eyes at her friends question, "Should we intrude on their private time?"

"Most definitely." Emy nodded and grinned wide.

The four of them approached the booth and stood a foot away, waiting for on the girls to notice them. After over a minute of that, Sara finally spoke up.

"You're in my spot." She spoke in a perfectly normal tone, as if someone had just sat down in her spot without realizing it was hers.

"Fuck." Stacy spoke as they broke from the kiss, "Sorry guys."

"It's all good." Emy just continued to grin.

"Yeah," Tegan smiled as well, "Don't worry about it."

"Congratulations." Lindsey couldn't contain her excitement.

"Shut up Linds." Stacy hid her face, embarrassed that her friends had seen her heatedly kissing a person who was practically a stranger.

"Do you guys want your own booth?" Tegan raised an eyebrow at her friend.

"No," Amanda spoke with much less bashfulness than normal, "If we want to be alone we'll just go to her place."

Stacy and Amanda looked at each other for a few seconds, "Yeah?"

"Yeah." And before they knew it Stacy and Amanda were jumping out of the booth and rushing to the front door.

"What the fuck just happened?" Tegan was in complete shock.


	37. Moving Fast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The conversation turns to Stacy and Amanda before everyone heads home

Tegan stood there in shock for a full minute.

"Did that just happen?" Sara cocked her head to the side as she spoke to no one in particular.

Emy looked at Tegan and grinned, "Looks like Stacy's back in the saddle."

Tegan rolled her eyes as her initial shock wore off, "I guess you could say that."

They all sat back down in their booth.

"Amanda's a nice girl, right?" Emy asked with concern for her friend who seemed to get hurt by everyone she went out with,

"Yeah," Tegan smiled a hint of pain as her thoughts went back to the other night, "From what I've seen at least."

"She is." Sara spoke assuredly, "She's just been depressed for a while. I think they'll be able to help each other. I just hope they aren't moving too fast."

"Need I remind you of how fast we moved?" Tegan eyed Sara; her thoughts now back on their first night together, when Sara refused to let her return the favor.

"That was different," Sara shook her head and took a sip of her drink, "You were in a bad place and needed release."

"Oh," Tegan cocked her head and raised an eyebrow, "Are Stacy and Amanda in a good place?"

"Well, no," Sara spoke in a defeated tone, "I'm just concerned. That's all."

"Yeah," Lindsey chimed in, "Hopefully they didn't move too fast. It would be terrible if another one of Stacy's relationships got fucked up."

Everyone at the table agreed and Emy added cheerfully, "Let's toast to their night of passion," She raised her glass of whiskey on the rocks and continued her toast, "May their relationship continue forever!"

They all raised their glasses and joined in Emy's toast.

"Yeah," Tegan smiled after taking a drink, "It'll work out; nothing to worry about at all."

"Where are Amanda and Stacy?" Sonia asked as she walked up to the booth.

"More importantly," Sara spoke as her mom drew nearer, "Where were you?"

"I went to the bar to get another drink and I turn around and they're gone!" Sonia seemed confused and concerned.

"They took off," Tegan spoke casually, "Back to Stacy's place."

"They what?" Sonia was in as much shock as they had been.

'They're grown women," Lindsey smiled and patted the empty space next to her, "It happens sometimes."

"Well," Sonia smiled at Lindsey and sat next to her, "I hope they don't mess things up by moving so fast."

"They're big girls," Emy shrugged with a smile on her face, "I think they'll be fine."

Sonia just shook her head and smiled, "They grow up so fast."

Emy chuckled and added, "Remember when Stacy used to take months to even get into a relationship?"

Tegan laughed and grinned widely, "Yeah. We used to always have to sit there and push her along until she finally talked to any girls."

"Good times," Emy had the biggest smile on her face, "Glad she's taking some initiative now."

"Me too," Tegan looked toward the door that her friend had left through, "It's good for her."

Emy turned and planted a kiss on Lindsey's cheek.

"What was that for?" Lindsey blushed slightly at the public affection.

"I'm happy," Emy shrugged, "And kissing you is fun."

"Then kiss me." The alcohol was affecting Lindsey. Usually she was reserved, but judging from the kiss they shared, Tegan would have thought that it was normal for her to make out in front of her friends.

"Shit guys," Sara's mouth hung slightly open, "My mom is right next to you."

"They're big girls." Sonia smiled as she quoted Emy's words.

"Yeah we are," Emy slurred out as she pulled her tongue out of her girlfriend's mouth, "And these big girls are going home to do grown up things."

"Just leave Emy!" Tegan shouted as Sara groaned out, "Didn't need to hear that."

"I'll just get out of your way." Sonia got up quickly and motioned for them to leave, "I don't need to sit next to horny lesbians all night." She winked at Emy as they rushed past her.

"Then don't sit over here." Tegan winked at her and Sara rolled her eyes.

"Feel free to leave," Sonia chuckled, "Ted already offered to let me spend the night there because he knows you guys are loud. I didn't ask him why he knows, and I don't want to know."

"Really? We can ditch you?" Tegan's eyes lit up as she looked over at her girlfriend as lust started to take over.

"We are not ditching Sonia!" Sara scolded her girlfriend for acting like a hormonal teenager.

"But she said we could." Tegan whined out and pouted her lower lip out past the upper.

"No." Sara was telling herself as much as she was telling Tegan. The alcohol was making it hard to stay under control.

"I can drive you home and then come back here." Sonia smiled as she offered, obviously not fazed by the thought of her daughter having sex.

"I like that idea!" Tegan grinned and nodded at Sara.

"Fine!" Sara rolled her eyes and through her hands up, "You guys win."

"I'm not winning anything here." Sonia chuckled, "I just don't want to cramp your style."

"Don't say that," Sara shook her head, "I thought I had skipped the awkward mom stuff by getting kicked out; apparently not."

"You're never too old to have your mom embarrass you." Sonia winked and Sara shook her head and laughed.

"I guess not." As Sara spoke Tegan scooted to the edge of the booth and stood up.

"Let's go already." Tegan reached her hand out to beckon Sara to her.

"Fine," Sara chuckled, "But let's get a cab. I'm not making out in the back of the car with my mom driving."

"Fair enough." Sonia smiled and they said their goodbyes, hugging Sonia and saying goodnight.

On seeing his friends leaving Ted walked up to Sonia, "So, are you taking me up on my offer?"

"Yes," Sonia smiled at him, "When do you close up?"

"Don't worry about that," Ted smiled, "I can leave now. This place can survive without me for the night."

"It can?" Sonia smiled to herself as Ted shifted nervously.

"Of course," Ted smiled sheepishly, "I'm just the owner. We can leave now if you want."

"Sounds great," Sonia stood up from her spot in the booth, "Just so long as we can have some wine when we get to your place. I could use a glass or two."

"Deal," Ted smiled, "I have some good wines."

"Good," Sonia wrapped her arm around his, "Someone with as much money as you better have good wine."

"No need to fear," Ted chuckled, "My dad always had good wine on hand; always told me to as well. Like he always said, 'The ladies love wine Teddy.' And so far that's been true in my experience."

Sonia grinned as they walked out the door, "Your father was a smart man."

"Yeah he was," Ted walked Sonia to his sleek black car and opened the passenger door, "He always knew how to treat the ladies."

Ted got in the car and drove Sonia across town and to his expensive apartment.

Stacy's house:

Stacy kicked the door shut behind her and immediately locked her lips with Amanda's. She didn't care about anything else aside from the woman in front of her. Stacy guided Amanda through the small house while trying not to break from the kiss. When they made it to the bedroom Stacy finally stopped kissing long enough to open the door.

"Please," Stacy panted heavily as she motioned to her bed, "Join me."

"Of course."

And they were attached at the lips once more. Amanda pulled Stacy with her, eventually hitting her legs on the bed and pulling Stacy on top of her. Immediately after hitting the bed Stacy pushed herself off of it and stood up in front of Amanda.

She grinned as she pulled her shirt off; blushing because she was standing in just a bra and jeans.

"Wow!" Amanda sat up on the bed and reached out tentatively.

"You can touch them if you want." Stacy grinned as she watched the girl on her bed reach out slowly.

She closed the gap and palmed Stacy's breasts, "Oh God!"

Stacy let out a low moan, biting her lower lip as her head tilted back. It had been too long since someone other than herself had touched her naked body. It was the best feeling she had had in quite some time.

Amanda removed her hand and quickly did away with the shirt she had bought that day. And then she removed her undershirt revealing small, perky boobs covered by a thin black bra.

Stacy immediately pulled her in for another kiss, forcing their half-naked bodies to mesh together. Her hands found their way clumsily around the other girl's body and fumbled with the bra clasp. After several seconds she finally got the clasp undone and pulled away from the kiss to remove the unnecessary undergarment.

"Fuck." She moaned as Amanda's small round breasts were revealed to her.

"Do you like them?" Amanda grinned sheepishly.

"Hell yes." Stacy pushed the shorter woman back onto the bed and slowly removed her own bra.

"Nice." Amanda grinned childishly as she stared at Stacy's exposed tits.

"Thanks." Stacy stood still for several long seconds, unsure of what to do next.

"I don't really need these pants on any more." Amanda encouraged her to continue with the undressing.

"Right." Stacy quickly got back into action and knelt in front of the bed. She pulled Amanda from behind her knees, putting her right on the edge of the mattress.

She undid the button and then unzipped the pants, inhaling a large gulp of air before pulling the jeans down to Amanda's knees. She stood up and pulled the pants the rest of the way off before returning to her kneeling position. Her fingers hooked under the waistband of Amanda's panties, and she quickly pulled them off.

"Oh god!" Stacy looked at the wet slit less than two feet in front of her.

Amanda grinned at her, "Feel free to do more than look."

Stacy gulped on air and looked Amanda in the eye, "What would…um…what would you like me to do?"

Amanda propped herself up on her elbows so she could see Stacy better, "I shouldn't have to tell you how to have sex."

"No," Stacy shook her head, "I mean, what exactly do you want me to do?"

"Do what you normally do," Amanda shrugged and giggled nervously, "And you should start doing it soon."

Stacy obliged.

Amanda let out a low moan as Stacy's mouth was attached to her inner thigh. She breathed in sharply as Stacy drew one finger along her slit. And she sucked her bottom lip in when that finger was slowly pushed inside her.

"Is this okay?" Stacy was concerned, not wanting to hurt the girl in her bed.

"Yes," Amanda nodded as she spoke, "It's more than okay."

Stacy continued to kiss Amanda's inner thigh as she slowly pumped her finger into her. Amanda gripped the sheets and bucked her hips.

"More."

"More fingers?" Stacy wanted to make sure she didn't misunderstand anything. She hadn't been this nervous about what she was doing to a woman since her first time.

"Yes!" Stacy added a second finger to the slowly increasing rhythm.

After a little while of the steady pumping Stacy changed it up; she'd hate to come across as boring or anything like that. She used her mouth to help aid her fingers in accomplishing her goal. Amanda gasped and swore all at the same, motivating Stacy to pick up the pace.

"Oh fuck!" Amanda tried to prop her head up to watch Stacy but an expert flick of the tongue sent her head back on the bed. Stacy removed her mouth from its place and back to Amanda's thigh.

"Ow!" Amanda let out a yelp of pain.

"Oh shit! Sorry!" Stacy apologized and used her tongue to soothe the mark that she had left with her teeth, "I didn't mean to bite that hard."

"It's okay," After the initial shock Amanda didn't think it really hurt that bad, "I just wasn't expecting it. By all means, continue."

Stacy obliged and started leaving small bite marks all over Amanda's right inner thigh. Amanda let out small cries of pleasure with each mark that was left.

"Oh god," Amanda reached down and gripped Stacy's hair, pulling her back toward her soaking slit, "Please. I'm already close."

Stacy immediately started sucking on the swollen clit in front of her as her fingers pumped faster. Amanda's hands were still gripping her hair, pulling harder and harder the closer she got.

"Fuck! Just a little more!" Amanda cried out in sharp whimpers.

Stacy slowed her pace but thrust harder while flicking her tongue over Amanda's clit.

"I'm coming!" Amanda's release hit her hard and her juices flowed over Stacy's hand and chin, "Oh fuck…" She breathed out as her ecstasy let her think of nothing else but that word and her pleasure.

"You taste good." Stacy licked her fingers clean before climbing up Amanda's body and planted a firm kiss, parting Amanda's lip and letting her taste herself.

"I bet you taste better." Amanda grinned and used all her strength to flip Stacy on her back.

Ted's apartment:

Ted expertly removed the cork from the expensive bottle of Merlot. He then poured the wine into the two glasses that were waiting on the counter. The wine glasses and he made their way to the sleek black leather couch.

"Here you are." Ted smiled and held out a glass of wine to Sonia.

"Thank you Ted," Sonia smiled as she received the wine goblet, "Such a gentleman."

Sonia thought she saw a faint blush in his cheeks, "You're welcome."

"You have a very nice apartment." She looked around the spacious living room. An electric fireplace was built into the wall that the couch was facing, a large flat screen TV hung above it. The twentieth floor apartment windows looked out over a beautiful portion of Vancouver. The apartment was dimly lit, basically exactly what you expect out of a twenty-five year old millionaire.

"Yeah," Ted looked around and shrugged, "It's nothing compared to the house I grew up in. But I guess it must be nice for people not used to wealth."

A look of horror came over Ted's face.

"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean that you're poor or something, it's just…" Sonia chuckled and waved his comment aside.

"Its fine," She smiled and sipped at her wine, "Some people have a lot of money. There's no need to feel bad about being rich."

"I just didn't want you to think I thought you were lesser because you weren't as rich." Ted's face was getting redder with every word.

"Ted its fine," Sonia smiled and placed a hand on his arm, causing him to glance down nervously, "I have a good job and an apartment big enough for me. And that's all I need."

Ted nervously took an overly large gulp of his wine.

Emy and Lindsey's house:

"Come on babe," Emy pulled away from the heated kiss, "You know what I want. And if you give me what I want you might get a turn with my friend."

"How could I resist that?" Lindsey attacked her girlfriend's lips as she undid the belt buckle in only a few seconds and in one swift motion pulled the belt out of the loops and placed it in Emy's hand.

"God you're getting good at that." Emy grinned and lifted the double grommet belt and placed it behind Lindsey's head, pulling it around her neck and placed the prongs through the loops, just loose enough to not choke her girlfriend.

Lindsey smiled as the makeshift leash was put in place.

"Now on your knees." Emy's lust took over as she watched her girl go down on her knees and undo the button of her pants, quickly followed by the sound of a zipper. And before she knew it her pants and boxers were around her ankles, letting the eight inch black dildo get some air.

"Fuck!" Lindsey's eyes lit up with excitement as she inched her mouth closer to the tip, planting a small sweet kiss on the cock.

"If it's not in your mouth in the next ten seconds you will be in pain." Emy grinned down at her Lindsey, both of them knowing what would happen next, Lindsey looking forward to it maybe a little too much.

Lindsey teased Emy as she slowly, deliberately, planted kisses on the shaft without opening her mouth for it. Emy pulled on the belt, lightly choking her girlfriend and lifting her up by several inches.

"I warned you." She shook her head as Lindsey grinned through the pain the belt gave her.

"It wasn't a threat." Lindsey choked out as Emy slackened her grip on the belt, letting her girlfriend return to the task at hand.

"How's this for a threat," Emy pulled just enough to force Lindsey to look up at her, "You don't put it in your mouth the belt comes off."

The effect was immediate. Lindsey wasted no time in placing her lips around the phallus. She moved her head slightly as she used her hand to tug from the base of the apparatus.

"Fuck!" Emy bit her lip to stifle a moan at the sight, "That's more like it."

Lindsey took it deeper in her mouth with each bob of her head. And before Emy knew it all but the final two inches had disappeared from view. Lindsey pulled her head away entirely and looked up at her girlfriend.

"I need help with the last bit." Her eyes threatened to well up if Emy didn't give her what she wanted.

"Then get it back in your mouth and I'll help." Lindsey took several seconds to get back to the point she had been and whined as best as she could when she could go no further. Emy grinned as she was completely overcome by lust. She placed a hand on the back of her girlfriends head to keep it where it was and she thrust her hips forward and watched the cock completely disappear into her girlfriend's mouth.

"Oh fuck!" Emy removed the phallus from Lindsey's mouth and pulled her to her feet by the belt. She kissed her roughly, forcing her tongue into her mouth, exploring and dominating it without much resistance. There were some things Lindsey didn't resist, and the things she did the punishment got her more excited.

When the kiss finally ended Lindsey smiled devilishly, "I want all of you inside me. Right now. We have a perfectly good table ten feet away."

Emy didn't speak; she just started walking towards the table, pulling Lindsey along by the leash she had given her.

"Up!" Lindsey obliged and was sitting on the table after only a few seconds, "Lose the clothes."

Lindsey unbuttoned her shirt and tossed it aside. Emy released the belt just long enough for the undershirt to follow. And then the jeans came off, leaving her on the table in just her underwear and bra. Emy held onto the belt with one hand as she leaned over the body of the woman on the table and undid the bra clasp one handed. Lindsey hastened to remove it completely as Emy made her way down to the panty clad waist. Emy made quick work of the panties and teased Lindsey by licking her slit once before making her way up to attach their lips together.

"Fuck." Lindsey moaned into her mouth as Emy began to rub the cock slowly against her slit.

Emy pulled away entirely, drawing a gasp and a moan from her girlfriend. She unbuttoned her shirt and draped it over a chair before removing her undershirt and bra. Then the button up went back on, buttons undone.

"You ready?" Emy took a step forward, teasing Lindsey's arousal by just barely pressing the tip against her.

"Just fuck me already!" Lindsey tried to reach out to pull Emy closer but she got her hands swatted away.

"Too eager," Emy shook her head in disappointment, "You know what happened last time you were too eager."

Lindsey nodded and bit her lip, fear and excitement was traced on her face. Emy released the belt and walked to the kitchen, returning moments later with a spatula.

"I'm sorry babe," Emy leaned in and kissed her sweetly, "But you were being bad and you need to be punished."

Lindsey nodded and turned over so that she was now on her hands and knees.

Emy kissed the left bum cheek softly before whispering sorry one last time. Next thing Lindsey knew there was a stinging pain in her ass as the spatula repeatedly landed on the left side of her ass and her thigh. After a dozen solid spanks, Emy set the spatula on the table.

"Turn over." Emy ordered and Lindsey slowly obliged.

"Can't I get even treatment first?"

"Only good girls get even treatment." Emy grabbed her girlfriend by the legs and pulled her close to her, "Bad girls get pounded roughly."

Lindsey squealed in excitement as Emy forced the tip inside.

Emy slowly increased rhythm and depth as she rocked her hips into Lindsey. When she got it all the way in she held I there, letting Lindsey squirm and beg for more before she continued. She rocked her hips back, almost exiting completely; then as she prepared for the first hard thrust she pulled hard on the belt, forcing Lindsey into a half sitting position as the cock went slamming inside her. The cry of pain and pleasure that erupted from Lindsey spurred her on. The pace quickened and the thrusts were all just as hard. Emy gripped the belt tightly and used it as a way to pull Lindsey in for a rough kiss as she continued to fuck her as hard and fast as she could. Lindsey's cries became sharper as she neared her orgasm.

"EMY!" She screamed out in pure pleasure as her high came and her cum coated the dildo.

"You'll be sucking that off when you have the energy to move." Emy placed sweet tender kisses on Lindsey's soft skin and Lindsey sank back on the table while the cock was slowly removed from inside her. After laying together on the table for a couple of minutes Lindsey gently pushed on Emy's chest so she could get up from the table.

She stood in front of the table; their previous positions reversed, and leaned her head down to the cock. She slowly licked and sucked it clean, and when she was finished she crawled on top of Emy and placed a kiss so filled with her own juices that Emy couldn't help but moan and lick around her girlfriend's mouth in hopes that she could taste more of it.

"Relax," Lindsey was on her knees, hovering just above Emy's fit abs, "Hold onto my leash, this will be a wild ride."

Emy gulped as she watched her girlfriend slowly lower herself onto the eight inch phallus.

Ted's apartment:

The TV was on and some reality show that Ted had never watched served as background noise as he and Sonia talked. He could feel his buzz from the half of the wine bottle he had had.

"Honestly," Sonia smiled at him, her tipsiness making her even friendlier than normal, "I find it hard to believe you don't have a girlfriend."

Ted chuckled; he was too busy to ever think about dating, "I don't really need one right now. Work keeps me busy.

"Well," Sonia leaned closer causing Ted's nerves to rise, "When you aren't looking is when you usually find one."

"Is that so?" Ted tried to keep his composure as best as possible, fighting against the wine induced drunkenness.

"Yes," Sonia sat up straighter, "I'm a therapist. I know things."

They shared a laugh over the little comment and Ted polished off his last glass of wine.

Tegan and Sara's apartment:

Tegan kissed her gently as she slowly lowered her onto their bed. As they kissed she began unbuttoning her shirt. She started to loosen her tie when Sara grabbed her wrist.

"Leave it on please," Tegan hesitated but nodded, loosening it enough to remove her button up, "It looks so good on you."

"Thanks angel." Tegan pulled away to take her undershirt off, leaving herself completely bare.

Sara moaned at the unexpected sight, "You look so damn hot when you're topless."

"Not as good as you." Sara grinned and lifted her own shirt over her head, discarding it off to the side in the small pile of Tegan's clothes. Her bra was quick to follow.

Tegan grabbed Sara's breasts gently and licked at the left nipple, causing it to go erect almost immediately. Sara grabbed Tegan's hair and gave it a tug. Tegan moved up to re attach their lips. Sara met her with a slightly opened mouth, begging to be explored.

After the heated kiss Tegan pulled away panting.

"You should get the strapon." Sara's eyes widened with her lust at her own suggestion.

Tegan disappeared briefly to grab it from its spot under the bed. She placed the bag it was stored in on the bed and removed her pants and started to step into the harness.

"I didn't say you were using it tonight." Sara stood up and from the bed and planted a kiss on her girlfriend's jaw.

"Oh fuck!" Tegan immediately sat down on the bed and waited eagerly as Sara removed her pants and boy-shorts before pulling the harness up and adjusting it to fit her snuggly.

"God," Sara shook her head when she looked down at the fake cock between her legs, "I feel so awkward in this."

"Don't feel awkward babe," Tegan pulled her towards her by the straps of the harness, "You'll do fine. If you need me to I can do most of the work. It's not my first time you know?"

"Okay," Sara kissed Tegan's forehead, "I feel like a teenage boy on his first night of sex though. I have something in between my legs and I don't really know how to use it."

"For starters," Tegan grinned as she kissed her gently on the chest, "It goes inside my vagina."

"I don't need sex-ed from you." Sara pushed her shoulders playfully and Tegan lay on her back.

"Prove it." Sara accepted Tegan's challenge and placed herself above her girlfriend.

She gripped the cock in her left hand as she put her right hand next to Tegan's head, supporting her weight. She directed the cock at her target, and slowly eased the first two inches in, much to Tegan's delight.

"Don't worry about going easy on me." Tegan grinned at her girlfriend before capturing her lips in another kiss.

Sara pulled away from the kiss and pushed a little further into her bella, "I don't plan on going easy on you."

After an awkward first few thrusts Sara built up a steady rhythm, using four of the six inches available to her.

"God Sara!" Tegan moaned out as Sara picked up the pace, "You're such a goddamn natural at this! Give me some more!"

Sara grunted in agreement and pushed the phallus in completely; a low moan from Tegan let her know she was doing something right. She began to get back into a steady rhythm as she pumped harder, speeding up a little with every few thrusts.

"Fuck! Fuck!" Tegan cried out as Sara pumped even harder, "Jesus! Sara! Fuck!"

Sara grinned to herself, using the strapon was more fun than she had thought.

"Harder babe!" Tegan whimpered and Sara bucked her hips as hard as she could, "I-I-I'm so c-close!"

Tegan's whimpers and moans urged Sara on and she thrust as hard as physically possible for several more seconds before she heard her name yelled out in pleasure at a volume she had never heard Tegan use.

"Sounds like you enjoyed it." Sara smirked at her girlfriend while Tegan panted heavily.

"Mhm." Tegan mumbled as she came down from her high.

"Do you want a turn using it?" Sara asked after pulling out and removing the harness.

Tegan nodded enthusiastically.

Ted's apartment:

Sonia was asleep. The wine finally became too much and she had leaned over and laid her head on Ted's shoulder.

Ted sat in the silence of his apartment trying to figure out what it was that he felt for the older woman. For the mother of one of his best friends.


	38. Still Moving Fast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Picking up where it left off

Tegan looked down at her girlfriend. Although she couldn't really feel what was happening, the sight and the knowledge that Sara tasted herself on the dildo made Tegan moan in pleasure.

"Fuck," Tegan breathed out as she and Sara made eye contact, "You're good at that."

Sara's eyes just deepened in lust as she took more of the cock in her mouth.

"Shit babe," Tegan gripped her girlfriend's hair, "Don't hurt yourself."

Sara pulled back, allowing her mouth to be free of the strapon, and said, "Thanks for your concern, but I'm not gonna hurt myself." She jerked hard on the dildo, sending a shock through Tegan.

"Fuck." Tegan moaned as Sara smirked up at her.

"Now," Sara spoke with control in her voice, "Are you going to use this on me? Or do I have to do all the work?"

Tegan responded by beckoning Sara to stand up, "Get up on the bed."

Sara took two steps and got up on the bed and sat there, waiting for Tegan to take charge.

"On your hands and knees," Tegan absent mindedly stroked her cock as Sara got on her hands and knees and moved her body teasingly, "Good girl. Now get ready for a good time."

Tegan got up on the bed and knelt behind Sara. She slowly pushed forward, easing the tip inside Sara's wet core. Sara let out a moan as Tegan eased the phallus into her.

"Mmm," Sara bit her lip as Tegan pushed still farther, "Fuck."

Tegan responded by pulling it out almost entirely before starting a steady pumping rhythm. She placed her hands on Sara's hips and pulled her in hard as she thrust.

"Fuck!" Sara half moaned, half screamed at the sensation.

Tegan leaned forward and spoke softly in her girlfriend's ear, "You like that?"

A nod and a choked out yes were the answer she got.

Tegan kept her hands gripped to Sara's sides as she continued to pump into her. Her girlfriend's moans drove her on. Euphoria encompassed her as the sensation that the base of the dildo sent a shiver down her spine.

"Oh fuck." Tegan breathed out as she picked up the pace.

Tegan pulled out entirely, much to Sara's dismay, and flipped Sara so that she was now on her back. Sara eagerly reached out to pull her closer, to pull her back in. Tegan obliged, working back up to a steady pace in no time.

"Fuck babe," Tegan's voice was husky and drove Sara wild, "I won't last much longer."

"Me either." Sara panted out as she gripped onto Tegan's back, digging her nails into the muscles of her shoulders.

Tegan was right; it didn't take long for her to get lost in the ecstasy of another orgasm. She could hear her own out of breath voice call out Sara's name as she went over the edge. Also, she could hear Sara let out a low moan followed by a cry of pleasure.

Tegan collapsed, half on top of Sara, and breathed deeply in an attempt to steady her breathing.

"I love you." She whispered softly as she looked at her girlfriend's sharp jawline and sweaty, matted hair.

"I love you too." Sara spoke softly and caressed the tired looking face of the prettiest girl she had ever known.

Ted's apartment:

Ted stood up slowly from the couch. He carefully replaced his shoulder with a pillow, making sure not to wake Sonia from her seemingly peaceful sleep. He paced around the main room for a few minutes before finally picking up his phone. It was probably a bad idea to call. There was no way Tegan wasn't busy with…well, Sara. But he had to try; he needed to talk to her.

"Pick up, pick up!" Ted whispered frantically into the phone.

The phone rang and rang, but there was no answer.

"Come on Tegan." Finally, he reached her machine.

"Hey this is Tegan! I'm busy right now, or my phone is dead. If it's an emergency call my girlfriend. Feel free to leave a message otherwise."

Beep.

"Hey Tegan, its Ted," Ted spoke slowly in an attempt to stay calm, "I really need to talk to you. So I was thinking we could get breakfast at Mia's tomorrow and we could chat. So call or text me tomorrow. Bye."

Ted returned to the couch and draped a blanket over Sonia before making his way to his room.

Tegan and Sara's apartment:

Tegan, per usual, woke up earlier than Sara. She rolled over and looked at the sleeping form of the woman she loved. The perfection that was etched into the bone structure, the flawless skin, the beautiful, messy bed hair; everything about her was beautiful to Tegan. After several minutes of watching Sara sleep, Tegan got out of bed quietly and walked out to the kitchen to make a pot of coffee. After getting the grounds in the filter and the water in its container, she grabbed her phone to check for any missed calls or texts.

Tegan saw the message from Ted and put the phone to her ear. Immediately after the message ended she called him.

"Hey Tegan." Ted's sleepy voice greeted her.

"Hey Ted, I got your message." Tegan noticed that her own voice was equally sleepy.

"Yeah?" Ted perked up.

"Yeah," Tegan nodded even though he couldn't see her, "So, breakfast?"

"I'll meet you there." She could hear Ted's dresser open, "I just have to get dressed first."

"Okay Ted," Tegan chuckled, "I'll just let Sara know I'm out."

They said their goodbyes and Tegan hung up.

"Good morning bella." Sara spoke quietly as she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes.

"Hello angel," Tegan smiled at her and pointed at the coffee carafe, "I made coffee."

"I love you!" Sara grinned and hugged Tegan.

Tegan chuckled, "You only love me for the coffee."

"Yep!" Sara planted a quick kiss on Tegan's lips before grabbing a mug and pouring the coffee in it.

"I'm going out," Tegan grabbed her keys, "Ted wanted to have breakfast and talk. Don't miss me too much."

"You know I will." They shared a slow, tender kiss before Tegan walked toward the door and out it.

She started her car and the engine and radio roared to life.

'And you laugh like you've never been lonely

But that's alright honey, that's alright with me'

Tegan chuckled at the lyrics, "Too true."

She pulled out of the parking lot and drove to the small café. She walked inside and found that Ted was already seated in a booth.

"Hey Tegan!" He greeted enthusiastically and with a nervous smile on his face.

"Hey Ted." Tegan sat down across from him, "What did you want to talk about?"

"Well," Ted looked down as he tried to get his courage up, "I might, um, I might have feelings for…uh…someone."

"That's great Ted! Who's the lucky girl?" Tegan smiled wide and leaned forward, fully interested in what he had to say.

"Well," Ted began the same way, but instead of looking down he drew in a deep breath, "She's a little older than me. She's beautiful, and there is no doubt about that. She's smart, funny, and fun. And, uh, she, um, she's sort of Sara's mom."

Tegan's jaw dropped. Her mind was racing. Or maybe it was completely blank; she couldn't really tell.

"Tegan?" Ted sounded concerned.

"Yeah," Tegan snapped out of her shock, "I'm okay. Don't worry."

"So do you think I shouldn't feel how I do?" Ted seemed a little scared, as if he expected Tegan to explode at him.

"I think," Tegan looked around briefly as she collected her thoughts, "I think you're alright feeling like that." It was Ted's turn to look shocked, "I mean, people have told me the way I feel towards girls is wrong. But they're the ones who are wrong. People like who they like and that's that. So if you feel that way for Sonia, feel free to act on that."

"Really?" Ted's nerves were running high.

"Really," Tegan smiled softly at him in reassurance, "I can't guarantee that Sara will be accepting of it, but I can guarantee that I am."

"Thank you so much." Ted returned her smile, "I was so scared of how I felt last night. But you just took a bit of the fear out of me. I just needed to make sure it wasn't creepy or anything."

"Come on Ted," Tegan chuckled, "You're not creepy. You're a really nice guy. And I think that you and Sonia would be a really cute couple. So as long as Sara isn't completely against the idea of it, you have my blessing."

Ted laughed and caused his nerves to be at ease, "I don't really need your blessing Tegan. Just your reassurance."

"You have both." Tegan laughed along with him, "Now let's order some food."


	39. Tread Lightly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tegan looks for a way to tell Sara the news

"Alright," Tegan spoke as she hugged Ted, "I'll find a way to tell Sara about it in the next day or two."

"Thanks," Ted smiled nervously, "I'll see you around."

"Later Ted." Tegan turned and walked to her car.

As Tegan walked away her phone started to ring.

"Hello?" Tegan spoke as she unlocked her car.

"Hi Tegan." It was Chris.

"Hey Chris, what's up?" Tegan could feel her nerves tensing in excitement.

"Just calling to let you know the only things left for the album are design related. So you'll have to press Emy for a complete booklet design." Chris sounded happy, almost like he was as excited for the album as Tegan was.

"That's awesome news!" Tegan was grinning, "I'll talk to Emy and Sara about it."

"Thanks Tegan."

"No, thank you." They said goodbye and Tegan hung up.

Tegan did a dance of excitement as she buckled her seatbelt. She couldn't wait to tell Sara.

"Sara! Sara!" Tegan rushed into their apartment shouting with glee.

"Stop yelling Tegan." Sara walked out of the bedroom toward her, hair wet.

"But I have awesome news!" Tegan's grin disappeared after looking at Sara a second time, "You showered without me?"

"I don't mind showering twice in a day Tee." Sara winked, "What's the news?"

"News?" Tegan's mind snapped back from the inappropriate thoughts, "Oh! Right. The only thing left to be done before the album is released is the booklet!"

"That's awesome! We're one step closer to fame and glory!"

"Yes, and the only thing in our way right now is Emy. We need to call her and have her finish the booklet artwork for Chris." Tegan could stop smiling as she spoke. The dream of being a professional musician was actually a reality.

"Call her then!" Sara giggled with happiness at the news Tegan had shared with her.

Tegan pulled her phone out of her pocket and hastily scrolled through her contacts until she came to Emy's name.

"Hello?" Emy picked up almost immediately.

"Hey Emy! I have some news for you!" Tegan couldn't contain her excitement anymore.

"What news?" Emy couldn't help but smile after hearing the excitement and joy in Tegan's voice.

"Our album is almost done! Chris said that all he needs is the finished booklet!"

"I'll email him and let him know he'll have it in a few days then."

"Thank you so much Emy!" Tegan felt like jumping with joy.

"No problem!" Tegan could hear the giant grin on Emy's face. Emy had always been able to cheer Tegan up in the past with one of her wide smiles.

"Awesome!" Tegan was beaming at this point, "Say hi to Lindsey for me."

"Will do." She heard a muffled voice through the phone, "Lindsey says hi back."

"Alright," Tegan grinned over at her girlfriend who was doing the same, "Later Emy."

"Later." Tegan hung up and immediately rapped Sara in a hug, lifting her slightly off the ground.

"Looks like someone is excited." Sonia's voice came from the doorway.

"Sonia!" They spoke in unison before rushing over to her to bring her into their hug.

"What's the excitement about?" Sonia laughed with them and hugged them back.

"Chris is almost done producing out album!" Tegan blurted out louder than she needed to.

"That's incredible!" Sonia gave each of them a tight squeeze.

Tegan remembered, while Sonia hugged her, that she had other news for Sara as well.

"Anyway," Tegan pulled away from the embrace and smiled, "I need to go and change my shirt. I don't like how this one looks with these jeans. Sara come help me find a better shirt."

"What are you talking about?" Sara rolled her eyes, "That shirt is fine."

"Please angel?" She heard a soft 'aw' come from Sonia.

"I can't refuse now; let's go find you a better shirt." Tegan grinned and lead Sara by her hand to their bedroom.

As soon as they were in the bedroom Tegan closed the door and pinned Sara to the door and kissed her gently, not lingering for more than a couple of seconds.

"Better shirt my ass." Sara smirked and went in for another kiss. She was stunned when she felt Tegan's hand on her chest, holding her back.

"I actually wanted to talk to you about something." Tegan shifted her weight nervously.

"Then what was with the kiss?" Sara looked sternly into Tegan's eyes.

"I was trying to butter you up with happiness so what I have to say wouldn't be a big deal to you." Tegan toyed with her labret, waiting for Sara to respond.

"Okay," Sara gave her a half smile, "What news?"

Tegan took a deep breath, "I talked to Ted earlier. And he told me something, and I don't know how you'll take it."

"Tell me what he told you and we'll see how I'll take it." Sara smiled reassuringly at Tegan.

"Okay, here it goes," Tegan took a breath to keep herself calm, "Ted told me that he…uh…he has feelings for Sonia."

"Really?" Tegan couldn't tell if it was shock or excitement that she heard in her girlfriend's voice.

"Um…yeah…he…uh…" Tegan felt as if she were the one confessing the feelings as the words jumbled in her mouth.

"That's cool," Sara smiled and Tegan was shocked, "I mean hey, she's my mom not my daughter. And besides, she's only been my mom for a few days; she can do what she wants."

"I'm gonna have to tell Ted that." Tegan felt the hint of a grin pulling at the corners of her mouth.

"Call him then," Sara smiled and rubbed her girlfriend's shoulder, "And then change your shirt."

"Why would I change my shirt? Oh!" Tegan had forgotten the lame reason she had given for needing to come back here in the first place.

"Don't take too long."

Tegan grabbed the first shirt she could find, a black t shirt, and pulled it on. She rolled the sleeves up to her shoulders before reaching for her phone.

"Hello?" Ted answered in a cheerful, if somewhat confused, voice.

"Hey Ted, I have good news." Tegan felt giddy.

"Yeah?" Ted's cheerful voice was at a new height.

"Sara is totally okay with you having feelings for Sonia. So you have our blessing Tedward." Ted chuckled at the name and thanked Tegan a dozen times before hanging up.

Tegan walked out of the bedroom to join Sara and Sonia in the small living room.

"It's not too early to go out celebrating is it?" Sara had the grin of a little kid who'd just gotten told they were going to Disney Land.

"Definitely not!" Tegan grinned, "I'll call Ted to see if he's willing to open up The Hap for us."

"Do you think he would?" Sonia's voice had a tone of 'don't make him go through all that trouble.'

"Of course he would!" Tegan's grin stayed in its place, "We did let him play guitar on our record, after all."

Tegan pulled her phone from her pocket and called Ted.

"What now Tegan?" Ted sounded exasperated.

"I, we, have a favor to ask of you." Even though she was confident before, she was now afraid Ted wouldn't do it.

"Anything for you Tee." Ted reassured her.

"We were wondering if you could let us party a bit at The Hap this afternoon." Tegan bit her lip as she expected a 'no' from Ted.

"What party?"

Tegan was dumbstruck.

"Tegan?" Ted sounded concerned.

"Oh my god! I forgot to tell you!" Tegan was shocked that she had forgotten about Ted.

"Tell me what?"

"Chris is done with the album. All he needs is Emy's complete artwork."

"That's awesome! Of course you can party here!" Ted sounded almost as excited as Tegan felt.

"Here? You're at The Hap?"

"Yeah, just doing some inventory. Come on by whenever! Alcohol will be waiting for you."

"Thanks Ted! We'll see you in a bit." Tegan hung up after a quick goodbye from Ted.

"Now you need to tell Emy about this party." Sara reminded her.

Tegan called Emy and told her and Lindsey to meet them there.

Roughly a half an hour later they were all at the bar and toasting to the success of their album.

"To 'The Con.'" Emy toasted enthusiastically before downing an entire glass of champagne.

"Pace yourself Emy," Tegan laughed, "No need to be drunk this early."

"I can do whatever I want!" Emy stuck her tongue out at her friend, "And what I want to do is Lindsey."

"Oh god Emy! Gross!" Sara gave Emy and Lindsey a thoroughly disgusted face.

"You're gross." Emy retorted.

"Real mature guys." Lindsey shook her head and laughed at her girlfriend's silliness.

"I thought so too." Emy beamed at her.

"Calm down guys!" Ted raised his glass after the laughter stopped, "I just want to say thank you. Thank you guys so much for giving me the opportunity to live out my dream. And also congratulations on completing the album, even if it wasn't you who put the finishing touches on it."

"Thank you Ted, for driving down to Seattle to record with us; it wouldn't have been the same without you." Tegan gave Ted a quick hug before pulling away and raising her own glass, "To Sara, for being my rock and being a fabulous singer and songwriter. To Ted, for being there for all those years when I had nothing and for being willing to join our band. Emy, for all the support as a fan, and now the artwork. It means the world. To Lindsey, for being my fan and for putting up with Emy all the time." A chorus of chuckles went up at Emy's expense, "And Sonia, thank you for getting back into Sara's life. It's been great getting to know you and now getting to share this with you. To all of us, we did it!"

They all took a drink from their champagne glasses. Tegan could feel the tears leaving her eyes, but she didn't care. They were tears of joy. She smiled at Sara and the smile was returned along with a tender kiss.

"You're right bella," Sara smiled wide, "We did do it."


	40. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two years later

Tegan adjusted the bow-tie around her neck before giving herself one last look over in the mirror. The tux fit her perfectly. And the burgundy vest looked perfect as well. One of the perks of being in her position was getting to choose at least a little bit of what was being worn. The burgundy vest was definitely exactly what she wanted. It made her remember those early days with Sara. Back when they were struggling just to live normal lives. Back when they found each other and Tegan wore her burgundy button up on their date.

A smile spread over her face as she remembered how nervous she had been. How romantic she was trying to be. But she was glad that times were different now. Two moderately successful albums, a claim to Indie fame, and now, love was definitely in the air.

"Are you ready Tegan?" Johnny asked from the door of the dressing room.

"Yeah," Tegan smiled up at her bandmate, "I'm so ready."

"Has anyone seen Ted?" Shaun asked as he walked by, "It starts in twenty minutes!"

"Relax," Tegan did her best to calm him, "I think I know where he is. I'll go get him."

"Are you sure?" Johnny questioned, "You've had a really busy week, just send one of us."

"I'm sure," Tegan smiled at his concern, "Besides, he'll need me to talk to."

"Alright, whatever you say." Johnny smiled before she walked away.

Tegan wandered down the church corridor and into the men's bathroom.

"Ted?" She spoke from the door, not wanting to walk in on anything if someone else was in there.

"Tegan?" Ted sounded nervous.

"You okay Ted?" Tegan took a few steps in. Ted was leaning, both hand on the counter, staring into the mirror.

"I'm okay, just so nervous." He looked over in the mirror so as to make eye contact with Tegan, "God I'm nervous."

"Yeah, I bet you are," Tegan walked up to him and placed a hand on his shoulder, "But you'll be okay buddy. At least you don't have to give a speech."

"Good point." Ted cracked a nervous smile.

"Not for a few months anyway." Ted groaned and Tegan let out a soft chuckle, "Now come on, you don't want to keep Sonia waiting."

Ted looked up and smiled, happiness pouring out of the look in his eyes.

They walked out of the bathroom and toward the chapel, both nervously waiting for their cues to go inside from the wedding planner, Emy.

"Alright Ted," Emy grinned at him, "Go on through those doors."

"Okay." Ted took a nervous step forward before looking back at Tegan.

"You'll be fine Teddy," Tegan smiled at him, "Go on, it's your day man!"

He smiled wide before confidently walking through the door.

"What a lovely ceremony," Lindsey was beaming from next to her girlfriend, "It looked beautiful, the people were great, and it was just so well done."

"How much champagne have you had?" Sara asked with a wink.

"Only three glasses!" Lindsey protested, "That's barely any."

"Linds," Emy shook her head, "Maybe this should be your last one so that you don't go home crying over how beautiful this all was."

"Well excuse me for bragging on your ability to plan a wedding!" Lindsey took mock offense and stuck her tongue out.

"I did do a pretty good job on it." Emy spoke with a wide grin on her face.

"Definitely!" Tegan took a drink of her champagne, "Way better than I did on my best man speech."

"Best woman." Sara corrected, receiving an eye roll from Tegan.

"Best woman speech then."

"Nah," Emy shook her head, "Your speech was great."

"No it wasn't!" Tegan protested, "I said 'You've always been like a brother to me' to my future father-in-law!"

"Oh god," Sara scrunched up her nose, "He's my step-father now…"

"Oh come one!" Emy patted her shoulder, "You couldn't ask for a better step-father. He's rich."

"I'll drink to that." Sara raised her glass and they all joined her in the toast to Ted's wealth.

Tegan blocked out the rest of the conversation. She was too busy focusing on her future wife. The perfectly fitting black strapless dress that she wore as the maid of honor making her look as sexy as ever. Tegan smiled as she thought back to the night of their engagement.

Three Months Earlier:

"Sara," Tegan walked around the dark house, "I'm sorry I was out so late, Emy just wouldn't let me come home until we had gone to every store in the mall."

"That's okay." Sara's voice called to her from the bedroom.

"I just have to put some stuff in the fridge and hang my jacket up," She walked toward the kitchen as she spoke, "But then I'll be sure to give you a good time."

"Wow," She could hear the playfulness in Sara's voice, "Cocky for someone who got home late."

"It can be cock-y if you want it." She couldn't see it, but she could feel Sara's eyes roll.

She finished putting her things away and tossed her jacket over the kitchen counter before walking back to the bedroom.

"Hey bella." Sara smiled up at her from one knee. She was wearing a well-tailored suit that Tegan had never seen before. The room was decorated with little hearts. And upon further inspection, Tegan noticed that they were sewn out of velvet, right up the middle. Tears formed in her eyes.

"You…you did all this?" Tegan choked out.

"Emy helped with some of it." Sara was speaking tenderly.

Tegan looked around again. There were little notes written on most of the hearts. The one closest to her said 'You were in all my dreams. It kept me happy.'

"That's still true, you know." Tegan smiled through her tears as she spoke.

Sara looked at the note and smiled, "It's true for me as well. And now I have something to ask you."

Tegan bit her lip to try and keep herself from crying.

"Tegan Rain Quin," Sara pulled a small black box from her jacket pocket, opening it up and revealing a simple white gold ring, "Will you spend the rest of your life with me, as my wife?"

Tegan couldn't even respond other than a small nod. Sara smiled brightly, tears welling up in her eyes as Tegan held her left hand out, ready for a ring to be on it. Sara placed it on Tegan's left ring finger before standing up and hugging her tightly.

Present Day:

Tegan brushed a tear out of her eye and smiled at her fiancée.

"Are you okay Tegan?" Sara rubbed her arm gently.

"I'm happy." Tegan continued to smile, "You make me happy angel."

"You make me happier bella."

They shared a gentle kiss before pulling away and smiling at each other. Tegan could see the love in Sara's eyes. A love that she hoped she was returning at at least half the intensity.


End file.
